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U.S. men avoid spending time with female colleagues in the wake of #MeToo

By Sonia Elks

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... Aaaand i perfectly understand them.

22 ( +22 / -0 )

Especially with social media, the fear of someone “crying wolf” is probably in the back of a lot of minds right now - I agree with the article that it’s actually going in the wrong direction, but why is anyone surprised?

17 ( +17 / -0 )

I don’t see a way around this. I also take care to not be in isolated situations with females I work with. I see this as protecting both parties however. Female employees don’t have to worry about being harassed or even assaulted, and I don’t have to worry about saying something that in a private situation could be misconstrued, nor about being falsely accused of something I didn’t do.

There is always a trade-off for security. Always. In this case, it means that some people will miss out on opportunities for mentorship (and I say people, as homosexual managers should also be careful about putting themselves into isolated situations with people of their own sex), with the payoff being that people can be freer from sexual improprieties than they previously were.

The idea that we can have both the freedom that comes from no rules and the security that comes from strict rules is a pipe dream. I think that society has come around to the understanding that there are problems with how we’ve been doing things. We also need to understand however that there will be changes reuquired to improve things, and there will be a price to pay for that improvement. This article is about that price.

15 ( +15 / -0 )

I am staunchly against sexual abuse or harassment but I would have to agree. This is a very legitimate concern for men. If I was in the U.S. I would feel the same.

15 ( +15 / -0 )

Yeah no choice on this one. Can’t even discuss subpar performance or correct inappropriate behaviors without being threatened with metoo (or power harassment) allegations in response.

14 ( +15 / -1 )

I guess one really can't have one's cake and eat it too...

5 ( +7 / -2 )

False accusations are consequence free weapons being abused by many women.

12 ( +13 / -1 )

False accusations are consequence free weapons being abused by many women.

Well, when they are caught it’s not consequence-free, but the problem is that the damage is often done beyond the point of recovery.

The other side of your comment is that throughout history, rape or sexual harrasebt has been a consequence-free weapon used by many men.

What we should be working towards is a society that is free of both rape and false accusation. People who get hung up on only one side without also being equally focused on the other side, are harming the situation, not helping it.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

First of let me say, sexual assault & power harassment have no place at work, or ANYWHERE for that matter!

BUT doh TRIPLE DOH, ladies you all need to wake up & learn what the work CONSEQUENCES means!

Women HAVE CREATED this environment we are all stuck in now so TAKE SOME responsibility for it!! Is that too much to ask, clearly YES from this article & all the stuff we keep hearing about.

You cannot make a lot of new rules & NOT expect some consequences. Men have been & continue to feel the brunt of no fault divorce, & marital laws that severely affect means lives.

SO it should be NO SUPRISE that men are having a wholesale re-think of things like dating, living together, marriage, & YES HOW you interact with women at WORK I mean DOH!!! Common sense.

Ladies you cant change the landscape to your advantage & just expect men to tag along, hint we are NOT!

I really feel sorry for young people, BOTH men & women, the mine field that has been created & being enlarged by the day IS making it much harder for men & woment o get along.

If I was young again there is NO WAY IN HELL I would consider marriage it is just too damned dangerous for men. Just sayin!O

5 ( +8 / -3 )

Women HAVE CREATED this environment we are all stuck in now

Well no, men who have harassed and assaulted women created the problem that directly led to our current environment. Your stance seems to indicate that women should have just shut up and not called out harassment and assault. That's a pretty ridiculous stance.

so TAKE SOME responsibility for it!

It's ironic you say that, while not attributing any of the responsibility to the original source of the problem.

-1 ( +5 / -6 )

As a woman, I completely understand and I don't blame the men at all. It has gone from one extreme to the next. What did people think was going to happen?

11 ( +11 / -0 )

What did people think was going to happen?

Well, I don’t think there’s likely a lot of overlap between the #metooers and the people complaint about the way things have changed. I’m guessing that most of the #metooers are probably happy that the status quo has moved, even with the cost that comes along with that change.

It’s like understanding that a system like China’s has its benefits, in being able to quickly and efficiently enact change due to a not having to deal with opposition or the opinions of the people, while not willing to give up our freedom in order to be able to achieve that ability to effect change that quickly or efficiently.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Really sad but understandable.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Too bad...

Using media for justice is a back to the past evolution in my opinion.

Men will always try to harass, women need to learn all the law and tools that have been existing for decades now, and not FB, ABC or Twitter...

How wrong if you fear one another ?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

When I have visitors from the US and there are women executives, I do the obligatory “welcome dinner” if there is a large group but no drinks, meetings, etc afterwards. If the traveling executives are only women or women traveling alone, I take them to lunch with my local colleagues. Sadly, this was based on advice from several peers back in the US.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

I avoid interacting with western women if at all possible. The odds of having to hear about #metoo-related talking points are too high for me to attempt any type of interaction if at all possible.

As a result, I never have to hear about feminism, white-supremacy, and all of those extra garbage talking points.

My life has really improved!

5 ( +6 / -1 )

An old saying goes:- You cant have your cake and eat it too.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Well it's about high time women got the respect they deserve. If one's clearly afraid of being in proximity, then they clearly don't know how to show respect to the ladies.

-7 ( +1 / -8 )

The problem is, that once extremists get control of an issue, you end up with a situation such as this.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I'm glad I got married 15 years ago... And to a Japanese woman no less, before all this #metoo stuff started. I can't imagine being in the dating scene is like it is now, and how men are afraid of even making compliments to women without being accused of harassment.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Not just the US. When I was teaching, I would never let a female student shut my office door. I made sure both of us were visible from the hall.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The other side of your comment is that throughout history, rape or sexual harrasebt has been a consequence-free weapon used by many men.

That depends on your definition of rape and sexual harassment. Men haven't been able to use rape or sexual harassment as a consequence-free weapon in any way. At least not in the last century.

I found that a lot of the flaws with the #MeToo movement were based largely on people's subjective views. It seemed like many women had unchecked freedom to dictate what constitutes as rape and sexual harassment, and with a movement supporting them it was difficult to call them out without destroying ones own life.

The reality of the #Metoo movement boils down to a few things:

The guilt of many celebrities selling their dignity for a fast track to stardom (#MeToo spawned from Hollywood).

It's simply a power grab. Celebrities, particularly in Hollywood, are always looking to increase their status and power. Social media has opened up many doorways to increase ones influence.

In the life of the everyday working person such things rarely exist. The #MeToo movement is like the egalitarian argument: people are demanding something that is actually already present in society.
1 ( +1 / -0 )

What can I say? It was "Me Too" movement. I'm scared too. I don't want to be accused as a pervert or rapist in the News Paper even before going to court. Stay away from women is the best prevention for, such as false accusation from female colleagues.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Good thing is you can easily spot the women who wants to grind you and who would use sex against you in my opinion.

The reciprocity is also true.

I am happy that I am no American.

Standard women appreciate you find them attractive and/or of interest and wish to stay close. Same for men.

This is an everyday good part of life.

Fight the fake news and support the facts as usual justice if you want a better life.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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