crime

38-year-old man held for beating father to death while changing diaper

60 Comments

Police said Wednesday they have arrested a 38-year-old man for allegedly beating his 76-year-old father to death in Takasaki, Gunma Prefecture.

During police questioning, the man, who has been identified as Ryoji Kurabayashi, reportedly told investigators that he lost his temper while changing his father's adult diaper on Jan 29, TBS reported. Kurabayashi was quoted as saying that his father struggled, sending him into a rage, police said.

According to police, Kurabayashi's father was punched, kicked and stamped on multiple times during the attack. Kurabayashi has confessed to the attack, TBS reported.

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I hope he didn't beat him to death the actual diaper! Brrrr!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Being related to someone does not qualify you to deal with the stress associated with being a carer. Yes we all care about our family members, but caring and coping with the EXPECTED stress requires training...

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Samantha, what you wrote about your kids made me tear up. That's exactly how I feel. While I don't regret taking care of DH's parents it has taken it's toll on both of us in many ways. It's a lot of stress. I love my son and daughter-in-law and I don't want that for them. Visit me once in a while, sure! But not feeding me or changing me!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

@ Himajin. I think your inlaws are incredibly lucky to have you as their daughter-in-law. You sound like an exceptionally caring person.

I too, do not expect my kids to look after me. The thought of any one of them changing my diaper makes me shudder. Hubby and I decided to bring them into this world....no strings attached. Just unconditional love. I had my little diamonds later in life so I'll be more 'mature' while they are at the height of their lives. I gave them life and I want them to bloody....s'cuse the Anglo Saxon.... bloody go out there and live it. Not to be shut up with some grumpy old senile bat , changing nappies and wiping drool! If I am not able to lead an active life then I'd rather 'opt out' for skies anew and leave my kids with good memories of me.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Beth-Talking about honor is admirable and somewhat romantic but life for the most part ain't like that. Could I suggest that you go visit a nursing home and get some hands on experience of what it's like trying to keep an elderly confused person safe, clean and fed.

People are living a lot longer than in the days where everyone looked after their elderly relatives. You could end up claiming your pension and still be looking after an aged parent. A sixy something pensioner looking after a eighty/ ninety year old parent. What about if your kids are still very young? Whose needs take priority then? Is it being a responsible parent to live with your young children in a house with an elderly relative who wakes up in the middle of the night frequently and leaves the gas on, starts fires, runs outside leaving doors open? Isn't the honorable thing to try to make sure everyone lives in a safe and nurturing environment?

And talking about parents. There are quite a few parents out there who don't stand by their children. They abuse and neglect their kids. Some murder their own kids. It's a lovely world you portray and I cannot tell you how much I wish it existed but it doesn't.

If you are lucky enough to get a place and/or have the money to pay for it, putting an elderly parent who needs 24/7 care is about caring for the wellbeing of that parent. With due respect, you are simplifying matters when there are so many angles and ranges here.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

HImajin, don't ever feel bad for looking out and doing what is best for your family! Like you, I am saving my pennies (and have been telling my parents for years they better save theirs) as I am with you on that.

Beth, have you ever had to give 24 hour care to an adult sized baby? As many have stated, a baby is a bay and easy to look after. You can't compare this with looking after your parents/elderly. I also doubt you have the training on how to move them from bed to wheelchair to bathroom (if they are lucky enough to still know they need to go), do you have the training to deal with oxygen, meds and massages that they may need so they don't lose certain body parts. You're being very judgmental. Putting a family member into a home is one of the most heartbreaking choices my family has ever made but it was the best choice - for everyone.

I am now watching my stubborn FIL "look after" his mother and the care is pathetic. He and my MIL are doing the best they can but it isn't enough. She needs a home. He won't put her in one - and there are none anyway. I personally think she's losing her marbles and bodily functions because she's not getting the care she needs. Heaven forbid you ever are put in the situation and people question what you do and why.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Personally, I would hate for my children to have to change me... I hope they'll find another "solution" if/when the time comes...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I have often spouted, do you want to grow old in Japan, well here is another example to consider, so do you still want to grow old here............... not a nice thing to have to contemplate.

Start saving....while there may be many more nursing homes in the US, they run upwards of $5,000 a month. If you stay home, you can have visiting nurses if you can afford them, at $45 an hour. Hospice is more reasonable but you have to have a debilitating disease or have less than 3 months to live to use them. For those who need help, but are not yet debilitated, you're kind of stuck with 'helpers' who don't have any medical qualifications and who just drive and clean and things like that ($26 an hour right now). In the US you have the problem that the care workers are paid only about $7 an hour, despite the $26 an hour charge...it all goes to the organization.

Background checks may or may not be done (depends on agency) but even if done, it does not guarantee that you'll get a worker who won't try to get something out of their clients. My mother has already had to let an aid go in the US, one said she was available for times that would straddle lunch time and then my mother was picking up the lunch tab, plus paying for driving, it was $100 per outing for time + the meal, on a pension,but on the pension she is still better off than some of these workers....you can't live on $7.65 an hour working 10 or 20 hours a week. If more of the hourly rate actually went to the workers you might not have helpers trying to take advantage of clients.

I think language proficiency is a must. I haven't made up my mind as to whether the kanji qualifications are that important or not, although it would be if these workers are going to help the elderly take their meds etc. if not, spoken ability should be enough. There are no language qualifications in many homes in the US, they need all the help they can get, but accidents have occurred due to language mistakes.

but what I was saying is that a parent will stay by the child's side no matter what. It doesn't matter if that child is a baby or 50 years old.

I'm in my 50s and my parents aren't still taking care of me, believe me. If you mean 'see them as family' or 'have affection for' then yes, parents continue to love and be loyal to their children.

. Children on the other hand will only stay by the parents side until it becomes inconvenient.

You're supposed to grow up and grow away from your parents, form your own family. That is not equal to abandonment. Unless you've done it, I don't think it's wise for you to tell others how to care for their elderly. It sounds all warm and fuzzy like, and noble, but it isn't always possible.

My grandmother had Alzheimer's and my mother wouldn't put her in a home. The problem was my grandmother was off the wall. They didn't have Aricept back then (late 80s) nor many other drugs to take the edge off the aggression. My grandmother hid knives in her drawers, began verbally and sometimes physically attacking my mother the minute my father went to work every morning and 'shadowed' her (a stage in AD where the AD patient sticks to you, you literally bump into them every time you turn around). She punched, kicked and tried to bite. She pushed her down the stairs. My grandmother was definitely a candidate for placement, but my mother (although American!) did the 'gaman' thing because placing her would have been 'giving up', a frequent attitude among caregivers. The social stigma of placement was also likely a factor...'throwing away your parent' etc. She endured being hit and sworn at for years.

FIL got AD in the late 90s. He did really well at home until the delusions set in, he was back in WII. Hearing a car backfire, fireworks, any loud bang would set him off. He patrolled his house from once it got dark till morning carrying a bokuto. Still he was ok at home. Once he lost all sense of place and time and began to leave the house in the middle of the night, we placed him. Until then someone had to stay up all night to keep him from leaving.

MIL got AD in 2003. For the first 5 years I went to her house every day (quit my job) from 9 or 10 until 5, cleaning and cooking for her and taking care of everything (49 and hundred days, hatsu-bon and isshuki) after FILs death. In those five years I saw my friends perhaps 6 times, quit music lessons and basically had no life of my own at all. I did it because she's family, so I'm not complaining , but perhaps you don't realize what a huge sacrifice this can be.....in 2008 we moved her 100 yards from us (she still refused to live with us) and I spent every day at her house, carrying all her meals over on a tray three times a day, and staying until 8pm until I saw her take her sleeping pill and get into bed. Gradually she became more and more violent (now under control) .For about 6 years I got home at 6 and then took care of our laundry and house. DH helped on the weekends. Finally when she got to the point where I had to stand beside her in the bathroom and direct her in every step ('here is soap, it's for your face' 'here is toothpaste,it's for your teeth) to keep her from putting cold cream in her hair and washing her face with toothpaste, it was time to do something. We placed her when she started sneaky behavior like using a whole box of kancho on two visits to the toilet, or eating a whole cake by herself (with diabetes!) and taking three doses of her morning meds at once, it surpassed my capacity to watch her. I couldn't go to the bathroom with the door closed, for fear of what she'd do when I was in there. If I didn't get my shower before DH left for work, tough luck till he got home that night....15 minutes was too long to leave her. She needs watching 24 hours a day and the helpers only came 3 hours a week because the helper guidelines are based on physical abilities, not mental, and she can still walk, dress herself and wash herself with verbal guidance.

'Inconvenient'? For most caregivers, it goes WAY beyond 'inconvenient' before they place someone. In addition, caregivers have a rate of depression and heart attacks far above that of the general population.

Here's an excellent blog for those who might like a perspective on this-

http://www.metaphorcountry.com/dementia_nights/2010/01/index.html

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Samantha, I understand your point, but what I was saying is that a parent will stay by the child's side no matter what. It doesn't matter if that child is a baby or 50 years old. Children on the other hand will only stay by the parents side until it becomes inconvenient. Of course, there are situations were professional care is needed, but to truly honor a parent or any human being for that matter, we must care for them with dignity, even if it is difficult. The problem with the world today is that our priorities are misplaced.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

You have two choices, care for your parents at home or send them to a nursing home.

Thomas that's not quite accurate for here in Japan. Nursing homes are nearly impossible to get into for many who are on fixed incomes. There are not enough of them to go around and the financial burden that it places on families is enormous.

So their only choice is home care.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

You have two choices, care for your parents at home or send them to a nursing home. The latter being a practical death sentence. I'm glad I have quite some time before I have to make these types of decisions, but I couldn't fathom sending either of my parents to the old folks' home.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I have often spouted, do you want to grow old in Japan, well here is another example to consider, so do you still want to grow old here............... not a nice thing to have to contemplate

AND its going to get worse MUCH MUCH worse every year here on in. This is just an observation, I am not going to blame any one or group, except the govt for once again doing diddly.

In the old days, we didnt live so long, modern medicine/drugs are both a blessing & a curse, I am thinking its going to be more of the later here on in. People dont seem to realize that the people who get saved may well come back to haunt later one, well its going to be a major issue all over, but here in Jpn as usual the powers that be are going to try to pretend a long as possible its not an issue, meanwhile old folks will live in worse & worse conditions, families who try to help will find burdens immense & unsustainable, we will see more people snap & violence rain.

Maybe it was better when predators took out the weak/ill way back in time, in our so called civilization is what we have created actually better.......... its a question that will be asked more often I predict. Man I am not sure I wanna get old....

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Very sad. Maybe this is one reason why we in the West put our elderly parents or grandparents in nursing homes..... It would be unbelievably stressful and tiring to be changing a parent's diaper every day. I'm not surprised people snap when faced with this. Not saying it's okay to beat someone to death but there are limits as to what each person can handle. The son should have had some help from somewhere.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Yet the other day we had a story about how the care workers from overseas will get kicked out if they fail the exam, inc. an advance kanji test. Is it really better to leave care to inexperienced, exhausted family family members than someone who's deemed unsuitable because their kanji is only intermediate level?

@ SquidBert - yes, I think the story is obasuteyama...leaving granny on the mountains!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I was wondering how to put it. Yes, tmarie, you are correct. Lifespan has lengthened, but the number of healthy years has not. MIL has high blood pressure, high blood lipids, and diabetes. All her diseases are under control, she has excellent blood exam results, but is now in Stage 6 of AD. She has no idea where she is, knows her family but thinks she's 55 or so. No sense of time or seasons, can't remember she ate 2 minutes after she puts her chopsticks down. We placed her as she needs constant supervision and I just....couldn't....watch her anymore. She became violent, and was a firebug to boot. I gave it my best, but my best wasn't enough to contain a 4'5", 53 kg angry, sarcastic toddler prone to loud destructive tantrums. She was placed permanently 2 years ago. I go 1-2 days a week, she goes to day care 2 days, she's as happy as is possible for someone in her condition. I wonder if it's worth it? She'll go for another 10 years at least getting more and more confused and sad. Not that I want her gone, believe me, but wow, what a way to go.

I have no illnesses, no diabetes, high blood pressure or anything so far, but I'm thinking that should I, I'll stop treatment while I still have my marbles and go out before I ruin my kids' lives.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Confucius says: shut up and change father's nappy.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Den, back in the good old days people would drop dead at 70, not 90! That's 20 extra years of living with mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, the kids, a dog... People have bodily functions and lose their mind, hang on for years needing round the clock care for YEARS - for more than a parent ever looked after their kid when it comes to having to personally feed them, bathe them, change diapers... Thanks to modern science, we've got people up and around with very little mental abilities that need consistent care. Then you have others that have the brain but not the body that need constant care... A huge burden for a family.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

He killed his father but he also took good care of him even changing diaper which is a hard, disgusting and nerve-racking job even for a professionally trained nurse. Let alone a man who is less accustomed to such things. Sometimes patients can behave tremendously uncooperative, stubborn, crazy, and violent, making their nurses mad.

I have seen many cases when attending and taking care of the old, incapable, seriously ill or mentally handicapped people brought down the whole family, made their caretakers a nerve-wrack ill person even when they loved their patients. Although I must admit, the insult was totally brutal.

No surprise here that such extreme cases happen. Said, very sad. You see, knowing the Japanese mentality of sparing others from embarrassment and fighting for life lonely and alone, we can understand now one reason for the high number of suicide cases here.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Of course this case is an excellent barometer of the entire country of Japan...NOT!

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

the times i hear these story's remind me of how many people in japan have said there's no one to talk too. i had to look after my father when he was unable to before he died, and to have no one to talk to would of been really hard. im not saying he has no responsibility of what he did, but if he at least had some to talk to this mite of not happen. R.I.P

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Back when three generations lived under one roof and everyone in the neighborhood knew one another (and I do mean they knew all about each other enough to scold the children and the children listened), I'm sure no one in those days would have thought of putting their parent in a facility. Everyone looked out for each other. Dad worked, mom cooked, grandparents puttered around the house, children studied then grew up to be parents themselves and took their parents in or the in-laws in and the cycle began... But nowadays, you hardly know your neighbors and they don't care to know you. (I was surprised to find myself ignored when I said ohayougozaimasu/konnichwa to a neighbor a couple of times. One of my Japanese co-workers mentioned that Japan has changed for the worse. People have gotten cold. Sure, I remember the good old days when the economy was booming and real estate agents refused gaijins. Despite that negative vibe, there were plenty of other positive moments.) There seems to be a whole lot more Japanese who are much more prone to violence. Forget "ganbare", I don't think there's much agonizing over sending a parent who needs a nurse or an aide to get through the day to a facility. The problem is how to pay. Kurabayashi probably couldn't afford to pay for someone else to take care of his father.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Yeah but Beth, have you ever tried to restrain a 5 foot, 60 kg child? It's a totally different ballgame from dealing with a baby or a child. Imagine having to lift, restrain that 5 foot, 60 kg baby on a daily basis. Numerous times. Changing an adult diaper and bathing them is nothing akin to cleaning a babe's chubby bum bum. Time outs don't go down well with elderly parents either. Most families can deal with looking after aged parents who do 't have Alzheimer's and are relatively mobile. I don't really think you can compare the two really. Do you?

4 ( +4 / -0 )

The thing that strikes me is that a parent will stay by a child's side no matter what the situation, but a child will never stay by the parents side. Sad.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

I really agree with some of the posts here. I think the guy had been stressed out taking care of his father. I condone the killing and then father should have been put in to a home. We used to take care of my Father and it is really tough and stressful to take care of an old person. There are the toilet issues and other things. In Japan it is not easy to take a day off so it is difficult to balance your responsibilities at home and your work. The only solution here is not to burden the family members looking after them by seeking professional help or if there are available homes, they should be admitted there.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Young Japanese has lost their temper... Sons and Daughters kill their Parents...even these youngsters can not keep mercy to at least their Parents...How can they show kindness... Mercy to others in the society . This is something... become natural today . I have heard these kind of killings many times...

Don't forget the number of parents here who kill their kids...

Indeed, the attitude that it is there job to look after their parents is an issue. Of course the government isn't going to try and change that mentality - they would have to provide the support!!

My question is, how many people are "putting up" with the situation but could afford to pay for them to be put in homes? My GMIL is one. They family has enough money but yet, no budge in that direction. My MIL wants her to go, my FIL (his mother) won't even think about it. Stubborn man is working himself into an early grave by caring for his mom. Thing is, both PIL are stressed but refuse to seek outside help - mind you, what support is there really?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

i can understand the 38yr old...

0 ( +1 / -1 )

@ji1980

You bring up a very valid point. If your parents shows you respect, makes you feel loved, wanted and generally safe as you grew up, I think chances are that such a parent will be much better cared for when life's fall sets in.

In my Nordic home country, Viking mythology tells us about the "Aette-stupa" (which translates into clan + a word that can mean either cliff/fall/death). The story goes that elderly people that could no longer contribute to the house/clan would leave and throw them selves (some say where thrown) off a cliff not to burden the young generation.

I think I heard Japan has a similar old myth of putting old women out to the forest where they were left to fend for them selves or die.

Sorry, I went off on a Norse mythology tangent here, I wonder if I am getting home sick.

Anyway my point was not to offend. Just to bring up some curiosa that might show a perspective of time on the issue. And also, I hope that if in my old age, I am doing nothing but making life miserable for the very people trying to care for me then I hope I will have a moment of clarity and find my self a beautiful cliff somewhere.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Whenever I read a story like this. I think the same thing. When this father held his son for the first time, I am sure he never imagined his life would be ended this way. Sad story all around.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

I am speculating that at 38 years of age, the man was frustrated and wondering how his life came to the point where he was changing his father's diapers. I imagine it all got too much more him and he snapped. Maybe he feels regret now over it. I certainly hope so. If he had a good support system where he could vent, myabe this could have been avoided. RIP old man.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Samantha, I think she should contact the local labor board, and find out if that's legal! An emergency is an emergency, I do think she can be penalized for that.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

This is really sad, and as some have pointed out, just because we may not read about it in our home town newspapers from back home, don't mean it ain't happening back home in the USA, UK etc..but over all just sad, I have no words to even try and express my sad feelings for this helpless old father who got killed by his own son.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

What these stories sometimes don't tell us is the past that these many families have. Not saying what he did was right in anyway. Perhaps the father was a terrible man, and a horrible father to his son.(just think about that for a moment) Now having to take care of a person who was so rotten to him, may have flipped the psycho switch. So with a one sided story given and a short one at that! It's easy to ridicule the son.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

We need to get these kinds of stories out there, even if it means linking to them on Japanese websites or email to coworkers. Together we can raise awareness!

-7 ( +3 / -8 )

@ Squidbert. Yeah, you've brought up a very valid point and I feel that bureaucracy here milks that 'ganbarre' concept for all it's worth. It wasn't so long ago in my country that you were looked down upon if you put your elderly relatives in a home. Now it's recognized that some elderly, for their own good, need specialist care.

We've got a country run by a government that seems to have no idea of the daily struggles of the average person. Health insurance and pension payments increasing. Talks about decreasing birthrates but no increase or not enough increase in daycare, hospitals, paternity/ maternity leave. Folks living longer but not enough support care, daycare for the elderly or full-time nursing homes. People are having children later....when they feel more financially secure.....and end up looking after elderly parents while raising their own young kids. Something is going to snap.

Whether the government likes it or not, the people living in Japan are justbas human and vulnerable to life's stresses and strains as is anyone living on this planet.

Only this morning, a lovely lady I know, was sobbing in frustration. She is a single parent to a teenager who is slightly mentally disabled. She looks after her elderly father who cannot walk very well and her elderly mother who has Alzheimer's. The mother is another escape artist and through no fault of her own, causes a lot of trouble and accidents. This lady works full time to pay the bills. Last week, she had to take time suddenly off work as her mother escaped out of the house. Now her manager at work has told her that taking time off work without notice is unacceptable and her contract will not be renewed this April. She gets morning support for her mother but again, like my neighbours, the mother needs to be in full time nursing home. There aren't any places. What is this lady supposed to do? How is she supposed to live in this kind of situation?

And, I know of a few more cases like this. The tip of the iceberg.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

It was more than just the father not being able to put it on. Had to be more for a beating of that degree. That is just too much.

usually in that type of situation most people i know walk away or would throw the diaper across the room. But to beat a man to death, that is way to excessive. That has to be more reason.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Young Japanese has lost their temper... Sons and Daughters kill their Parents...even these youngsters can not keep mercy to at least their Parents...How can they show kindness... Mercy to others in the society . This is something... become natural today . I have heard these kind of killings many times...

The Older generation also, must Responsible for these kind of Acts. Because They are the people who brought these Sons up...

0 ( +3 / -3 )

That's okay! It's very common. I'm not upset or anything. :-D

1 ( +2 / -1 )

@Himajin,

If you realize it's necessary, please don't call it 'dumping'.

Sorry, bad choice of words.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Do it, day in, day out, for years, don't ever complain or lose your temper and then you can criticize and mock 'kizuna'.

Squidbert, yes, you do reach a level, whether it be of deterioration of cognition, loss of function, an increase in escape behavior, or a tendency towards violent behavior, that goes beyond the level that untrained family can care for. We reached that level two years ago with MIL. She's in a nice hospital and has a routine that keeps her calm, as opposed to our comings and goings, barking dog etc. Her violent behavior has diminished, as well as angry outbursts and lighting things on fire when she's bored (!). If you realize it's necessary, please don't call it 'dumping'. It's one of the hardest decisions for a family to make, and the guilt can be enormous.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

38 years ago Ryoji might have struggled too while getting his infant diapers changed by his father. Why in the hell did you not think about this Ryoji?

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Japan must get its act together and build more facilities for the elderly. This will happen again and again otherwise.

off topic

-8 ( +0 / -8 )

Another example of 'kizuna' in action. :(

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Japan must get its act together and build more facilities for the elderly. This will happen again and again otherwise.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Ahhh.. This is a very sad story. What a soulless 'son'.. I imagine his father felt helpless already for being in his situation, at least for me this was an act of cowardice and lack of love and respect. I heard some elderly people can be difficult to manage sometimes, but I don't think they deserve this end. It doesn't matter if the children are 'doing sacrifices' to take care of their parent, they seem to forget we all gonna get old too someday (maybe, if they don't die before of course).. Would they want to feel like a 'load' to their kids too? If they can't manage to treat their parents anymore, the only solution is taking them to a care center, not the 'dreamed choice', but it's better than this. I know some kids raise with a profound anger towards their parents, and maybe for good reasons, but in the end, the only way to go (except perhaps some few serious cases), is forgiveness. Well, this may sound too idealistic, but if we could only understand that..

-8 ( +1 / -9 )

@Samantha Z. Aso

That's the problem. There aren't enough support systems or facilities to help the families that really are in dire need out!

I am also under the impression that for the Japanese, handing over your elderly to elderly care is consider dishonorable. You are expected to ganbaro as with anything in Japan. Again, talking from a somewhat limited experience here.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

As I said a few days ago in the "son kills mother" article, this is going to increase if Japan doesn't step up and get more homes built. A man who needs to have his diaper changed and can't do it himself should NOT be living under the care of family members. The guy here is 38. What happens when he goes to work? Dad sits in his own mess which leads to other problems. If dad is fighting getting cleaned up, he's not all there and needs care than clearly this family wasn't getting.

You can all condemn this man but how about having a little compassion for him too? Day in and day out of doing this and not knowing when it will end. Babies grow up and get out of diapers. Elderly parents just deteriorate.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Horribly sad... I can imagine the stress this man must have been under, but that is no excuse to do that to another human being. Completely wrong.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Sorry- Meant to say 'that there aren't enough facilities to help the families in dire need'! iPhone likes to go AWOL.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

@Yubaru. You hit it on the head. There are two sons who live opposite me trying to cope with their mother who has severe Alzheimer's..... we are talking about her escaping at night and running round the neighbourhood, she nearly burnt the house down one time.....I am really worried about them. The sons are really trying their best but just aren't trained or prepared to deal with this. Changing a diaper on a struggling adult is a lot different than changing a diaper on a baby or toddler. The elderly can be very strong. I must stress I do not condone what this man did.

@Squidbert- That's the problem. There aren't enough support systems or facilities to help the families that really are in dire need out!

7 ( +9 / -2 )

It is hard enough to change the diaper of a handy-capped kid, but a grown man, possibly with dementia must be very tough.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Sometimes I really can not understand the Japanese!! Dude kills his own father?? Poor old father!! Stupid stupid son!!!

-7 ( +5 / -12 )

thanks for raising me dad , working hard so i could go to school, through the years :o

0 ( +4 / -4 )

No more nor no less than anywhere else in the world,

I agree with both your comments but to some extent I think that in many other parts of the world, children will dump the older generation in a care center when things start to get really tough. I am not saying it is a decision they make lightly, but still there is a line somewhere when the care becomes so difficult it is better handled by professionals. I am thinking (without direct personal experience) that that line might be when the person being cared for no longer is able to appreciate the care given or the sacrifice that their children are making.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Seems like an epidemic of random rage leading to murder, over and over again. The family violence rates are going through the roof.

No more nor no less than anywhere else in the world, and maybe it's just the fact that the scales over your eyes have been blasted off and your ideas and opinions regarding life here are finally coming to reality.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

Sadly stories like this are going to increase as the population here in Japan gets older and older. Families are ill prepared in many cases to care for their aging parents and combined with the economic pressures of rising taxes and living expenses, and lack of qualified care workers families are left with few choices on how to handle their loved ones.

I can share from my own experiences here, both my wife's parents passed away with in the past two years and we had to deal with both of them at the same time being ill and being in and out of hospitals, along with having our own children to raise and take care of as well. The frustration and pressure was ENORMOUS and there were times I wondered how we were going to manage it.

I can empathize with the sons frustration, however taking it out on an elderly parent is unforgivable. I can only imagine that once he started hitting his father he couldn't stop himself and I would like to believe that it happened in a moment of insanity of the situation and wasn't a conscious act.

17 ( +19 / -4 )

This is too sad.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Social support system needs overhauling here in Japan, you think?

5 ( +7 / -2 )

Son kills his Father...is that..?

-6 ( +0 / -6 )

Seems like an epidemic of random rage leading to murder, over and over again. The family violence rates are going through the roof.

-3 ( +5 / -8 )

Jeez!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

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