Man arrested over sexual assault of 10-year-old girl at swimming pool last year

I wonder if you realize that what you're saying here flies in the face of women who have experienced rape and sexual assault in Japan?

You complain about men minimizing women's experiences, and here you are minimizing the experience of another woman. Bit hypocritical innit.

By that definition, no human can, it's not limited to just women. We all face various threats, even men.

Who are those men afraid of? Oh yeah, other men.

And sometimes women. I am always afraid of a false groping charge on the trains, whether through nefarious intent, or honest mistake. Women are sometimes scammers - honeytraps are a real thing. I read in our local paper that 13 and 14 year old boys are subject to sextortion from women who get them to masturbate on camera. There is danger for everyone in life.

But if you are living in a constant state of fear, you have PTSD, and your reactions are preventing you from a good life. Particularly if you're extremely afraid of something that is very unlikely to happen. For example, listen to the third biggest fear here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATGaybgla0w

You could live your life in fear of a brain aneurysm, because it really could happen at any given time. But the odds of it happening are almost nil, so if you are in daily deathly fear of it, your fear is disproportionate and unhealthy.

Strangerland, that's exactly what "being on guard all the time" means.

Maybe what we're talking about is simply a matter of difference in terminology. But your posts across as you being very afraid in every situation where men are present, as there is an ever-present constant danger that any man may rape you at any time (if I'm incorrect, please tell me how you actually feel). I refuse to teach my daughter to live in fear, particularly when she's in Japan, where it's very safe.

But I'll teach her to think of her surroundings, the same as I teach my son to think of his. I'll teach her to be careful of who she goes home with, the same as I'll teach my son to be careful who he takes home.

CaliforniaDreamingToday 01:50 am JST

I'm female and agree with Strangerland absolutely. Japan is far safer than the USA, and the risk level is much higher in the USA. I've had my share of trauma, and would say, if you feel constantly that unsafe in Japan that is a non proportional sense of fear and the stats bear that out. I found counselling really helped me recover.

And I've had my share too. I wonder if you realize that what you're saying here flies in the face of women who have experienced rape and sexual assault in Japan? Would you like it if an Indian woman said "I agree that the US is a much safer place than India and these American women should stop talking as if America is dangerous."

As I have said a million times before, comparisons are nonsensical.

StrangerlandToday 12:56 am JST

No. My wife and daughter are entirely safe at home. They're safe when they walk on the street. They're safe in the supermarket. Why should they live their lives always in fear, rather than just being aware of their surroundings?

Strangerland, that's exactly what "being on guard all the time" means.

My daughter walks home alone from Juku at 10pm most nights. And yes, I've spoken with her. I've told her what to watch out for, and how to be aware of her surroundings.

That's a "yes" then. Did you answer yes to the other questions I posed as well?

By that definition, no human can, it's not limited to just women. We all face various threats, even men.

Who are those men afraid of? Oh yeah, other men.

And what precautions do those men take?

When you walk home alone at night, do you note who is around you, whether they are male or female, and note how far behind you they are, and if they get a bit close or seem to be walking quickly, do you slow down and pretend to look at something or maybe turn a corner so they will get in front of you where you can see them?

If not then you are comparing apples and oranges. Men aren't, and don't need to be, cautious in the same ways women do.

Now that said, being pragmatic and having a rational awareness of the world is the intelligent way to approach it. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I have prepared my daughter (and son) for life,

Then it is a yes. And you fully know this, yet argue with me continually about it.

but I have also taught her (and him) not to live in fear.

You keep changing my wording from "be cautious" "be aware" "be careful" "be on guard" to "live in fear".

Why do you do that? I think we agree far far more than you are willing to admit.

As a man (with a Japanese family), I don't feel a need to stick up for myself and other men because we are not under constant threat from sexual assault (and sexual discrimination /harassment and lack of empowerment) as most Japanese women are.

Where have I "stuck up for myself and other men"? Quotes please.

You can't have it both ways: Should women be on guard all the time, or should they not?

No. My wife and daughter are entirely safe at home. They're safe when they walk on the street. They're safe in the supermarket. Why should they live their lives always in fear, rather than just being aware of their surroundings?

Have you spoken to your daughter about the dangers of walking home alone after midnight?

My daughter walks home alone from Juku at 10pm most nights. And yes, I've spoken with her. I've told her what to watch out for, and how to be aware of her surroundings.

If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then re-think every single one of your previous posts - because simply put, women can't go though life assuming they will always be okay, or assuming that the low crime stats mean that nothing will ever happen to them so they don't need to be afraid, to prepare, or to be ever on guard.

By that definition, no human can, it's not limited to just women. We all face various threats, even men.

Now that said, being pragmatic and having a rational awareness of the world is the intelligent way to approach it. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. I have prepared my daughter (and son) for life, but I have also taught her (and him) not to live in fear.

Nobody is threatening your manhood

Ok? No one is threatening to cut my hair either, but neither of these are things that were even on my radar... so I'm not sure why you bring it up.

many women you know are under constant threat of their safety every day of their lives in Japan

That's my point - no they aren't. Japan is extremely safe. Just because the news has hyped them into a hysteria where they believe otherwise, doesn't change that.

If emotions dictated reality, then how would reality work if we looked at it from the perspective of a paranoid schizophrenic?

you owe it to them to be more concerned for them than protecting a myth that "Japan is safe".

Except that I've shown through the numbers, even taking into account that only 3.7% of rapes are reported, and shown how Japan is still much safer than other nations.

No, no, no. Japan is not safe for women compared to most developed nations.

I just showed the numbers. Give me some nations, and I'll break down the numbers for them in comparison to Japan as well.

My Japanese wife and many of her friends living overseas agree.

People read stuff on the internet and get a disproportionate amount of fear based on what they read, and overestimate the actual danger that exists as a result. That's why determining whether there is an actual problem needs to quantify that, rather than just going with 'I feel that...'.

Reading a few articles, or talking to a person, then deciding there is a societal issue, is frankly an emotion based response, and not logical. Real data is required to make logical determinations.

I'm not saying your fear isn't real. I'm saying that it's disproportionate to the actual risk that exists for women in Japan.

nondualismToday 03:48 pm JST

My Japanese wife and many of her friends living overseas agree.

I live in central Tokyo. Not long ago my best Japanese gf whom I've known for 30 years begged me not to take the 10 min walk home from the station on my own after 11pm, because I live in an area with a lot of businesses that are all closed at night, and there are not many houses. She made me promise, and I totally agreed with her. I either bike or take a taxi.

And we are not some silly teenagers. I'm 49. She's 54.

Strangerland: Women seem to know something that you don't. Maybe you should listen.

StrangerlandToday 03:15 pm JST

And Japan is one of the safest places on the planet to be.

This isn't the point you think you're making. No place is safe, therefore women cannot ever let down their guards anywhere.

You're one of the first people to comment on these kinds of news stories and accuse the woman doing something wrong or unsafe which results in her being assualted.

You can't have it both ways: Should women be on guard all the time, or should they not?

StrangerlandToday 03:20 pm JST

What if the fear for safety is disproportionate to the actual danger that exists?

Simple question: is it better to be safe or sorry?

Have you spoken to your daughter about the dangers of walking home alone after midnight?

Do you (or would you, if she is still living at home) ask her to give you a call when she gets home?

Have you spoken to your daughter about what to do if a man follows her?

Have you talked to your daughter about how to stay safe on dates with men she doesn't know well?

Have you discussed what she should do if she is assaulted, who to call, how to react, what to do in the aftermath?

Have you warned her about men who might try to touch her, as this little girl was touched?

If your answer is yes to any of these questions, then re-think every single one of your previous posts - because simply put, women can't go though life assuming they will always be okay, or assuming that the low crime stats mean that nothing will ever happen to them so they don't need to be afraid, to prepare, or to be ever on guard.

Women need to be proactive and never assume that they are safe. Because there could easily come a day when they find themselves as one of the unlucky ones who go on to become one of those counted in the crime stats.

We need mens' voices.

I agree.

You also show women who are reading that there are GOOD men out there

It's ironic you say this, when you regularly demonize men as a whole on this site. I'm not sure how you think you're creating allies.

You need to stop trying to downplay the issues in Japan, and stop comparing it with other countries, because that has no relation to the issues women in Japan face or how women in Japan feel about their safety.

What if the fear for safety is disproportionate to the actual danger that exists? The fear media makes everyone afraid. Our brains are not built to cope with the tragedies of tens of millions of people. So some people become disproportionately afraid in comparison to the danger that exists. Now, if that person wants to be over-protective for themselves, great, that's their prerogative. But when they start telling everyone else that they need to live under that same disproportionate amount of fear, that's where an issue arises.

nondualismToday 01:55 pm JST

I will not respond to any comment denying the seriousness of sexual assault in Japan

Please don't stop commenting! As frustrating as certain posters here can be, it's still important to speak up - not to change their minds, because obviously that won't happen. It's important because you never know who is reading it, and that person might learn something that will change their mind. You also show women who are reading that there are GOOD men out there - this is so very important. We need mens' voices. Often men won't listen to women, but they will listen to other men. So please, do keep posting. You've no idea how glad it makes me when guys like you speak up. :)

Yes, Japan, like the US, UK, and every other country, is that dangerous for women.

Now we're getting somewhere. You are qualifying EVERYWHERE as dangerous to women. Sure, of course everywhere is dangerous to women. Everywhere is also dangerous to men, children, old people, handicapped people, minorities, and pick your anything. There is no utopia on this planet, nowhere exists that is perfect.

Unfortunately, we live in the real world, and absent a Utopia, some places are better than others, or in this case, safer than others. And Japan is one of the safest places on the planet to be.

You ask for sources, then say that source isn't good enough, and make no effort yourself to check it out. The number has been widely quoted, and is attributed to a book written by a prosecutor in the sex crimes division. As I said, I'm sure you have the skills to find it.

Huh? I used the number you told me, AND quoted your source:

In Japan, only 3.7% of rape victims report to the police. 56.1% of them cannot talk to anybody. (Cabinet Office, 2017)

StrangerlandToday 01:42 pm JST

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

This site does not seem to be related to Japan.

It's not meant to - you asked for a comparison, this is the data for the US to be compared with Japan.

http://spring-voice.org/english/

This site is, and is a better source. They do say this:

In Japan, only 3.7% of rape victims report to the police. 56.1% of them cannot talk to anybody. (Cabinet Office, 2017)

However, it does not provide any link to where it got this number from, so there is no way to validate the number. I couldn't find any reference to it on the Japanese site either.

You ask for sources, then say that source isn't good enough, and make no effort yourself to check it out. The number has been widely quoted, and is attributed to a book written by a prosecutor in the sex crimes division. As I said, I'm sure you have the skills to find it.

Is Japan really that dangerous for women? These numbers don't sway me. In fact, they only support my belief that Japan is extremely safe even if you're a woman in Japan.

Yes, Japan, like the US, UK, and every other country, is that dangerous for women. Keep in mind: this is the number for rape, not other types of sexual assault. It doesn't count instances of flashing, groping, or verbal harassment. I also made the point before that comparing is not helpful or useful in gauging the danger for women, because if we did that, then we would have to take into account war-torn countries, third-world countries, and where would it stop? Do women in Japan not have the right to say they don't feel safe just because the number of rapes is higher in the US? And I have seen many comments from men in the US who say US women have no right to complain because women in Afganistan have it worse. So what exactly is the point in comparing in the first place? In my view, there is no purpose or reason, other than a knee-jerk reaction based on patriotism to defend Japan - which I must point out, is an emotional defense and not a logical one.

You need to stop trying to downplay the issues in Japan, and stop comparing it with other countries, because that has no relation to the issues women in Japan face or how women in Japan feel about their safety.

If you continue to believe statistics from Japan it shows a fundamental lack of understanding of how such stats are created and the culture of nonreporting in Japan.

Huh? The official numbers are 1400 reported rapes. You and girl_in_tokyo have claimed that only 4% of rapes are reported. I took that into consideration with the numbers, and outlined it all above to show that Japan has less than 1% the rapes (including both reported and unreported) than the USA does.

How am I believing the statistics, when I'm counting both reported and unreported rapes?

The answer to your question is, a young girl of 10 wouldn't lie. Most women and girls tell the truth when they report sexual abuse. A lie is such a rare case that it's not even worth bringing up

I will agree on the 10 year old but the rest not a chance.

Would you like a list of reasons for women to lie?

Ok #1 money, #2 revenge, #3 attention, #4 remove a possible rival.

Remember the Duke university lacrosse team? Yeah no damage done to these boys.

The Me too movement, LA set up a special taskforce to investigate Hollywood. Results other than Harvey Weinstein not a single other person has be convicted only 2 have been charged one the jury was deadlocked so fail, the other is a senile ex po.n actor.

All the rest basically were for attention or money.

You want custody of the children, claim the father abused them, you want better part in a movie claim the other actor abused or did something towards you, you get fired from a job, claim sexual harrassment etc...

Now we know sexual assaults are real, we know it is not something to be taken lightly, but the narrative that women will not lie about it is false.

People including women do some very bad things for money and attention.

This alleged incident never should have happened because a 10 year old should be no farther than an arm's length away from their guardian when they are in a body of water.

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

This site does not seem to be related to Japan.

http://spring-voice.org/english/

This site is, and is a better source. They do say this:

In Japan, only 3.7% of rape victims report to the police. 56.1% of them cannot talk to anybody. (Cabinet Office, 2017)

However, it does not provide any link to where it got this number from, so there is no way to validate the number. I couldn't find any reference to it on the Japanese site either.

However let's take that number. I can see that there were 1400 recognized cases of rapes and forcible indecencies in Japan in 2021 (https://www.statista.com/statistics/864883/japan-reported-cases-rape-and-forcible-indecencies/). If that represents 3.6 of the total rapes, that would mean roughly 39,000 rapes in Japan for 2021. With a population of 125 million people, that is 3.12 rapes/10,000 people.

Let's compare this to the USA. rainn.org, given above, says:

On average, there are 463,634 victims (age 12 or older) of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States.

Let's use the same 3.6% number. That would mean there are roughly 12.9 million rapes/year in America. With a population of 330 million people, that is 390 rapes/10,000 people.

That's 3.12 rapes/10,000 people for Japan, vs 390 for USA.

Is Japan really that dangerous for women? These numbers don't sway me. In fact, they only support my belief that Japan is extremely safe even if you're a woman in Japan.

Does this mean that there are not social issues in relation to respecting women and their bodies in Japan? Nope. As the father of a Japanese daughter, there are many, many things I hope that Japanese society can improve upon. But the numbers above tell me that my daughter is safer in Japan than America at least, and I would be more than almost every other country on the planet, based on the fact that Japan ranks as one of the safest countries in the world.

At least ask yourself, 'is there something I'm missing here?' and have a 5-minute wander through Google search.

When I make an assertion on this site, I spend the time to research the assertion I make, and either provide links to support my posts, or am prepared to if called upon it. I'm not sure why you think I'm going to spend time researching other people's points, that's on the person making the assertion, not the reader.

So you should ask yourself "is there something I'm missing here?", then google it, and include links with your posts.

it behoves you to stop the knee-jerk automatic dismal of such a problem

I haven't dismissed it. You have claimed it exists, I'm asking you to quantify it. If JT has made one thing clear to me after living in Japan for 25 years, it's that many, many foreigners will come to Japan, see or feel something, then quote that as the truth of how Japan is all over the internet. Often they are very, very wrong. I'm not saying you're wrong in this case, what I'm asking you to do is support your assertion, because the numbers say Japan is an extremely safe place to be, and you are saying it's not. So while I'm not dismissing what you say, I'm also not accepting of it without some sort of qualification that what you say is accurate.

Michael MachidaToday 07:26 am JST

Hiroaki Abe san has denied the charges. My question is, why would a young girl of just 10 years old lie about such a heinous act?

I hope the police obtain the truth.

The answer to your question is, a young girl of 10 wouldn't lie. Most women and girls tell the truth when they report sexual abuse. A lie is such a rare case that it's not even worth bringing up - yet all the time, the very first thing MEN do, is ask whether the woman might be lying.

Yes, MEN. Women don't do this, because most all of us have been there, experienced it, and know exactly what it is like.

TrevorPeaceToday 09:30 am JST

A sexual assault of a 10-year old last summer. And it's just being reported now, in mid-winter??? What's wrong with this picture?

What is your skepticism related to? Do you not recognize that sex crimes happen? Or are you in denial that they happen in Japan? Or are you skeptical that the girl is telling the truth? Because if so, I'd be interested in your evidence for all three of those points.

There is nothing wrong with "this picture." There is however something wrong with you.

StrangerlandToday 07:20 am JST

It's true of every nation, that the number of reported crimes will not be the entirety of the actual number of crimes provided. You previously, and again, seem to implying that this is significantly worse in Japan than in other places. Am I understanding that correctly? And if I am, what are you using to quantify the degree to which it is unreported for both Japan and the other places, to come to the conclusion Japan is much worse?

In Japan, it is estimated that only 4% of sex crimes are reported, while that number in the US (as an example) is 20-35%. I'm using the US as an example only, because I don't have time to google every country in the world.

Sources:

Rainn: https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system

Spring: http://spring-voice.org/english/

There are other sites that use the same stats, but I know you are quite capable of googing in both Japanese and English to find them.

Don't ever ask this question again. This is not the first time I have posted these here, but it will be the final time.

That guy's lucky I'm not her father.

Not sure I'd have alerted the authorities until they needed the meat wagon to carry him out of there.

just another sicky walking around the streets of Japan

A sexual assault of a 10-year old last summer. And it's just being reported now, in mid-winter??? What's wrong with this picture?

This could've been prevented if Japan had a sex offender's list! He wouldn't be allowed in that place or any other where kids are! His name would've been registered in the government system and upon signing up for a pool membership his name would come up as a kiddy fiddler! Thus preventing him from being there! I'm just saying, Japan!

Hiroaki Abe san has denied the charges. My question is, why would a young girl of just 10 years old lie about such a heinous act?

I hope the police obtain the truth.

Also, important to be clear that this kind of sexual assault is not just the occasional case that manages to make the news today, and that this is a daily occurrence for hundreds of girls and women across the nation.

It's true of every nation, that the number of reported crimes will not be the entirety of the actual number of crimes provided. You previously, and again, seem to implying that this is significantly worse in Japan than in other places. Am I understanding that correctly? And if I am, what are you using to quantify the degree to which it is unreported for both Japan and the other places, to come to the conclusion Japan is much worse?