Critic review 'Attack on Titan' movie: 'I wished the titans would eat the kids so it would end'

By Scott Wilson, RocketNews24

The wait for the release of the live-action Attack on Titan movie is over and reviews have started coming in from critics. Unfortunately, the early response isn’t great.In fact, one popular Japanese movie website wrote such a scathing review of the film that even the director felt compelled to respond to it on Twitter.

The Attack on Titan live action film review comes from the Japanese website Cho Eiga Hihyo (“Super Movie Reviews”) run by movie critic Yuichi Maeda. They score movies out of 100 points, and awarded Attack on Titan a failing 40. Yikes. Why so bad?

Here are some parts of the review, which we’ve translated into English:

“The Attack on Titan live-action film was created with the concept of changing things that were ‘unrealistic’ in the manga, rather than simply adapting the manga to the big screen. Unfortunately that concept undermined the entire film, making it feel even more like an ‘unrealistic’ manga than the work it was based on.”

Talk about not sugar-coating your words! The critic doesn’t hold back and sets the tone for the rest of the review right off the bat.

“The only character who gets away with being funny while acting stupid is Hans, played by Satomi Ishihara. However all the other characters, the story, and the direction is just as stupid as she is.”

Them’s fighting words, that’s for sure. Any examples of what was so bad about it?

“For example, right before a titan attacks, they’re told this: ‘The titans are sensitive to noise so don’t speak. If you’re going to yell then bite your tongue!’ So then why do Eren and the rest of the team immediately afterward gossip like little old ladies while they advance on the enemy? Sure they’re new recruits, but they can’t listen to something they were told barely a minute ago? Are they two years old?”

Apparently this isn’t an isolated incident in the movie. Eren and the gang running into titans while screaming is a common occurrence. But didn’t they do that in the anime. too? Either way, that’s not this critic’s only problem:

“There’s a sex scene, right in the middle of a titan attack on the town. What would make the producers want to put something ridiculous like that in? It doesn’t add anything to plot and it’s not funny or interesting. All you can do is stare in disbelief with your mouthing hanging open.”

To be fair, I haven’t seen this scene myself so he may have a point. But in all honesty, this sounds hilarious and I’m kind of interested to see how the film’s makers wove it in.

“The awkward plot keeps moving forward, making you more annoyed with the characters every minute. I wished the titans would eat the kids so the movie would just end. That’s not a good sign, because I’m pretty sure they’re not the team I was supposed to be rooting for.”

Another jab right in the movie’s face. The critic has certainly spouted a lot of angry words, but he hasn’t done a ton to back them up. Maybe we can get some insight in his conclusion.

“The producers felt that the characters being Japanese and having foreign names wasn’t realistic, so they changed them. And yet the three-dimensional maneuver gear, which is just as unrealistic, is perfectly fine to them. They misunderstood that the movie is its own reality, not ours, and it affected the entirety of the film.”

This is probably the critic’s most legitimate point. Of course things have to be changed when adapting a written work to a movie, but when the changes don’t help achieve the film’s goal, it takes the audience out of the movie. It prevents them from suspending their disbelief. Little problems like Eren yelling or an awkward sex scene can be laughed off, but if a movie just doesn’t feel right throughout, then that’s a big problem.

After conceding a few good parts about the film (presumably why it got 40 points and not zero), such as the titans attacking being well done, and the Spider-Man-like three-dimensional gear being cool, the critic ended his review on this final note:

“I may have a lot of problems with the film, but I will acknowledge that perhaps the sequel Attack on Titan: End of the World (to be released September 19) could fix everything with an unexpected twist. Maybe the titans are actually allies of justice, working together to eliminate the worst of humanity that is left in their world. Now that would be satisfying.”

But wait, that’s not all! The Attack on Titan live-action film’s director Shinji Higuchi caught wind of the review and posted a response on Twitter. He has since deleted the tweet, but here’s a translation of what he posted:

“Awesome! I had no idea what I’d do if the great-teacher movie critic actually praised us, so I feel so relieved now. Er, what I meant to say is, who’s the idiot who gave this guy an early release of the film?!”

Not exactly the most PR-friendly response, but it’s almost as entertaining as the review.

Source: Cho Eiga Hihyo

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Travel agency gives vacationers the chance to be extras in upcoming Attack on Titan movie -- Finally! Attack on Titan director says TV anime’s second season will start production in 2016 -- Attack on Thanksgiving! First animated Attack on Titan movie to open in November

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I'd like to say I called this one.

July: Love it. You have a well established international hit with characters the fans love, dress up as at conventions, and then you completely sabotage your best chances of a worldwide hit by just picking and choosing the parts you want to change, the parts you want to scrap all together, and the parts you'll keep after butchering bits here and there.

If the creator was for this, then why make the original the way you did? Did a sense of nationalism all of the sudden kick in? Besides the overly dramatic acting style and the mediocre CGI, I wanted to really like this... Now, I'm just disappointed.

52 million volumes in print, critical acclaim for its atmosphere and story. These characters, these story lines made this happen and got you the chance to make this movie. Why discard them and your fans so easily? Why get rid of what got you here?

June: The special effects look unfinished in the latest trailer, they completely changed certain major plot points about the race of the people and made them all Japanese, the acting is suffering from over dramatization and the absurd make-up commercial style close-ups and photoshopping, and it's much darker in style than the manga or anime.

May: I've seen the preview for the movie and it looks like Japan's answer to America's Transformers, a lot of slow-mo action shots, overly dramatic acting, melodramatic dialogue and at times, ridiculous special effects.

Congrats, Japan, you've entered blockbuster crap territory.

Today: I saw the movie because I'm a masochist. The movie was split into two parts they said so they can cover more narrative ground, but narrative ground covered in part one was just tip-toes, and poorly written at that tip-toes. Now we have to be tortured over another hour and a half just so they can double dip on box office if you have sinned and are forced to see this in the theatres.

This movie could have easily been done in one part considering how much story was taken out with the precision of a chain saw on an operating table. What you have left is a neutered mess.

And lets just not mention the fx. They didn't get any better since that first trailer. But as badly as they looked I was rooting for those Titans.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Er, what I meant to say is, who’s the idiot who gave this guy an early release of the film?!

The movie must be really bad with such comment by the director having no confidence of his work.

I'm just looking forward to seeing "Star Wars".

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Surely, it can not be worse than Dragon Ball Evolution.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

"...but I will acknowledge that perhaps the sequel Attack on Titan: End of the World (to be released September 19) could fix everything with an unexpected twist. Maybe the titans are actually allies of justice, working together to eliminate the worst of humanity that is left in their world. Now that would be satisfying.”

Is that in the story? because if not that means the reviewer is leading with specifically what he wants to see. Ie. if he gets what he wants he'll write a good review. If not, he'll just be unhappy with it.

Not that the movie sounds any good in the least; it sounds horrible, and I will pass.

-5 ( +1 / -6 )

@harvey, cheers for the comprehensive warning. I'm still probably going to watch (I guess I'm a masochist too) but at least I'm fully prepared for the worst : (

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Yeah, I don't know. None of my Japanese mates nor my J-lady wanted to see this. I just... had to. I don't know what it is, but I wanted to support the J-action film.

There is no reason Japan can't in theory make a good action flick. It doesn't have to be an American like spectacle, but just a solid popcorn-chewin ride. I've see great lil Irish action films, Swedish actioners, Aussie action gems, but... maybe J-cinema studios just don't want to make them.

I know I know, there are great samurai films and I know that's their thing, and they've made big screen versions of their cop TV dramas, but they just end up looking like a tv drama but on a bigger screen. But I was just hoping for a modern action flick. Again, it doesn't need to be Tom Cruise-epic, just a good thrilling chase and some stuff blowin up good with well written characters and solid acting.

If you have anything you think ive missed, let me know. Attack on Titan just epically fails.

-1 ( +2 / -4 )

Come on, we all knew it was going to suck. Stick to what you do best Japan, manga- not movies. They may have done it justice if they'd collaborated with a Hollywood producer, but instead they said 'No, despite our awful track record with CG and screenwriting I think we'll take a shot at this' Ah what a drag, I love that manga.

0 ( +1 / -2 )

I'm still waiting for season 2 of the anime!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

The Japanese do make some great movies but it all depends on budget which is usually way smaller than for Hollywood especially for a rushed movienlike this one to cash in on the Summer boom.

If they had another year and double the budget it would work as Anime to lufe-action are tough.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

It could be a trash movie, but made in Hollywood would be even worse. I just read Hollywood wants to make a Naruto live action...creepy.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Well it will be years before the UK gets this, I won't be holding my breath to watch it. Anime was pretty good but live action. Not to bothered

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I wasn't planning on watching this before, and now I'm even less inclined. A sex scene? Seriously? What's the point? I know the saying "sex sells", but it can't save everything. The anime was only just good enough to satisfy me, but it was a very borderline thing. I just hope the 2nd season is better than the first. Hopefully Eren will be less of a crybaby.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Naruto life action will happen after Akira and Macross which were promised decades ago

Heard even scarier news Tom Cruise will be back as Maverick in Top Gun 2. The Soundtrack made that Film.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I'm sure that an American version will come out, which, although suffering from the banality that most Hollywood blockbusters suffer from (JJ Abrams notwithstanding), will be miles better than anything current Japanese filmmakers can do.

Just look at the Last Samurai; it was factually inaccurate, posed a white person as the lead (why?) and suffered a while host of other faults, yet it still managed to out-do almost every recent Japanese samurai flick, possibly even to this day.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

@Smith: Appologies if I misunderstood your post, but I believe the writer is being sarcastic. As in "Nothing could possibly save this franchise, save killing off every human character involved"

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Saw this.....awful. Morbid curiosity lead me to the theater for 1,000 yen day. Thank goodness I didn't pay any more than that.

What was good about this movie? The fact that it gave me the opportunity to enjoy some good caramel popcorn. That was really good popcorn.

Don't waste your time on this movie. If you want a story like this done right give it to a director in Hollyweird.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Japanese action movies stink of bad acting and poor writing

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I liked the anime and to tell the truth Attack on Titan should have been an easy anime to live conversion. No real super-human abilities or wildly designed characters like One Pieace, it doesnt have a long history like Dragon Ball that you have to mash into 90 or so minutes. It's people vs giants. This is ONE movie I have to say should have been given to Hollywood.

gogogo, Yeah, japanese acting is usually pretty bad and 1 dimensional.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

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