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kuchikomi

Aging libidos require new techniques

31 Comments

Depending on who you believe, sex is either over by age 45, or it’s just beginning then. Shukan Gendai (Aug 15) takes the latter view. True, the magazine acknowledges, it may not be as effortless as it used to be, but effort, properly directed, enhances pleasure, and besides, your life may depend on it.

A study by Britain’s Bristol University seems to confirm that lives lived in the lap of Eros tend to be not only more satisfying but longer than lives lived in gloomier settings. The study surveyed 918 men in their 40s and 50s over 10 years and found the death rate among the sexually inactive to be twice as high as that among the sexually active.

The difficulty is, of course, that repetition over the years dulls the enchantment. Curiosity fades, the thrill wears off. “You get to the point,” acknowledges medical professor and author Kimihiro Yoneyama, a firm believer in lifelong indulgence, “where you feel you know in advance exactly how it’s going to unfold -- ‘first this, then that…’” However, he adds, the been-there-done-that feeling is “all in the mind” and can -- and most certainly should --be resisted.

The weapon of choice is imagination. “Set the mood,” Yoneyama advises. Mood is everything -- and the key element in mood is aroma.

“Aromas associated with pheromones are not present in human body odor,” he says. “A good idea therefore is to infuse the room with aromatic oils.” “Humans are sensitive to specific aromas,” agrees mental health clinic director Teruo Abe. “The right odor stimulates the reproductive functions of the brain, causing sexual excitement.”

He suggests a light sprinkling of “a perfume you both like” on the skin as you emerge from the bath. If you haven’t tried it before, “it makes for a whole new kind of erotic stimulation.”

“The main thing when it comes to sex,” continues Yoneyama, “is the unexpected. The brain responds to the unexpected with increased secretions of dopamine” -- a neurotransmitter associated with pleasurable sensation.

Of the various sexual settings and positions that make up Shukan Gendai’s discussion of what constitutes the unexpected, we cite by way of example… the floating position, in the bathtub.

“I recommend bath sex,” says psychiatrist and clinic director Harufusa Higano. “A bubble bath; the water warm, not hot. Wash her all over as she lies afloat on her back, especially” -- -obvious erogenous zones aside -- “her neck, underarms and behind the knees. The areas where sweat glands are located,” he explains, “are particularly sensitive.”

There is something else about a bathroom which raises it above the bedroom in Higano’s view -- its acoustics. “Orgasmic cries resonate wonderfully,” he says. “It’s a whole new feeling, a fine stimulus to the male libido.”

What Shukan Gendai appears to means in describing its offering as “techniques beyond the grasp of the young, accessible only with the passing of time,” is that only the aging libido requires “a whole new feeling” in order to be stimulated. If necessity is the mother of invention, invention is the mother of sex the young can’t imagine, because they don’t yet need to.

© Japan Today

©2020 GPlusMedia Inc.

31 Comments
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Go, fight, win!

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with my wife sex ended a lot earlier than the age of 45 :-(

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with my wife sex ended a lot earlier than the age of 45 :-(

she'll have no reason to complain if you find a mistress or visit a soapland

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Maybe actually loving the woman you take to bed is the biggest turn-on

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Question... what size bath does this guy have?

Unless, of course, he's recommending the public bath (That would be an entirely different experience in and of itself), most Japanese baths may be deep enough, but certainly width x length isn't conducive to his recommendations....

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Maybe actually loving the woman you take to bed is the biggest turn-on

Bingo!

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You don't need to be in the bathtub to have sex in the bathroom! I think Statistician has the right idea though.

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I believe the traditional Japanese method of curing a sagging libido is a mistress.

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orgasmic cries in the bathroom... from a 50 year old woman... just how many 50 year old women in japan have actually experienced an O... would love to see the stats on that. women, sound off; )

over 40? better off going to soapland than trying to forget her nagging about the car, the genkan, the kitchen walls, the kids, your shrinking bonus, the dripping faucet, the cup you left on the table last night....

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The quality of sex just gets better for me. I wish it were the same for all.

Sex of the physical variety - I mean sex without love, is and always has been unsatisfying for me. I strongly advise men to read of the Tantra and tantric methods. Become one with her mentally through love and acceptance and you can control her. She'll never be the same again unless she finds another who practices the tantra - which is very rare by what I've heard.

And I agree with the article where it says that repetition is a big reason why sex becomes uninteresting. Do what I do and even if you've slept together 4,000 times, look at her as if it is the first time for you and go on a journey of discovery to find what makes her tick. It's not a game - it's openness. Look at her in the eyes and feel in yourself you are completely vulnerable and be absolutely honest with your feelings. Keep your eyes open when you make love, and a lack of kissing indicates things are soon to slide to a halt - so do something about it. (If you want to).

I feel sorry for men and women who are not satisfied with their sex lives. I appreciate that sex is a gateway into some place which is neither entirely physical or mental. She is the gate and once there you can take her inside that place.

If men knew how to make love in the truest sense of the world then more girls would find out what they are missing and demand their males to understand what they require. Yep! Make the effort and as I have made the effort I have women calling me all the time! - Seriously ... they are bored with the run-of-the-mill and in their circle of experience only I do what it is they desire. So get it you younger guys! The country is chock-a-block with lonely bored sexually frustrated women who are surrounded by mostly inept guys. Make the world a happier place by doing something to make your corner of it a little better.

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Hakujinsensei

orgasmic cries in the bathroom... from a 50 year old woman... just how many 50 year old women in japan have actually experienced an O... would love to see the stats on that. women, sound off; )

Well I don't know if age is important. Women need to learn (be taught) ways to orgasm. Women around me can choose whether to have one orgasm or to orgasm for hours. There is no reason other men can not learn to do this. I think all women can learn about it from a loving teacher. And just knowing it is possible should encourage you women to find out more about it.

over 40? better off going to soapland than trying to forget her nagging about the car, the genkan, the kitchen walls, the kids, your shrinking bonus, the dripping faucet, the cup you left on the table last night...

Sounds like a world I don't inhabit. You can see the women who have happy love-lives in the street because they stick-out. They don't look their age. It's the same for men. They say the face of a man at forty is the face he deserves, and I suspect it's something similar for women. Those people with happy sex-lives are more attractive than the rest. (I know the difference anyway).

Soapland? How utterly sad.

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admium

I believe the traditional Japanese method of curing a sagging libido is a mistress.

As many as you want is a good rule of thumb. And don't keep any secrets between them. Let them all know you have multiple women for dates. If you are worth it then they'll gladly tolerate it.

Another advantage of multiple females is you have to keep on your toes with who you are meeting and not getting the names etc... mixed-up. :)

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Cadmium, not admium. Sorry.

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Over by 40, over by the honey moon night for many Japanese I believe. Would help if they even slept in the same room and would help more if they even managed to pull the phone out of their hand and start talking to their spouse instead of the wireless net work. And sorry boys and girls but uhmm, errr, etoo, umm, ahh, ehhh, humf, na, ge, nee etc is not considered communication.

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best post of the day goes to scoobydoo;)

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No I think it goes to mael.

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My former boyfriend, eleven years older...no problem with his sex drive....current boyfriend...one year yonger....it died years ago...maybe I'd better copy and paste this article...for re-education of a male.

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Another advantage of multiple females is you have to keep on your toes with who you are meeting and not getting the names etc... mixed-up. :)

Yeah right. And watch out as to who they are with when they are not with you. And just watch out about those ugly diseases!!!

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Sex in the bathroom is very dangerous for people over 40 , I know this for a fact and started fitting hand rail everywhere 10 years ago now that I'm climbing the hill to sixty I make sure to put on the blue wellie boots when I go out to get the gas lighter for the candles .

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sex in a Japanese bathroom is not that dangerous..your always within reach of at least 2 walls to brace yourself against.

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“I recommend bath sex,” says psychiatrist and clinic director Harufusa Higano. “A bubble bath; the water warm, not hot. Wash her all over as she lies afloat on her back, especially”—- ...

I'd rather be whale watching.

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Anyone who thinks there is no sex after 45 has never visited a senior citizen's center in Florida.

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What is a good tantra book Mr. Mael?

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Mael may be right, but don't think that the hippy stuff works for most people. Since introduction of viagra, can always perform. and as for femaile orgasm, I thought that was an urban myth....

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Gotta try new thinks, like cosplay and other kinky stuff. Viagra is great but stuffs up your sinus's... maybe a good (legal) substitute is L arginine which produces a good amt of nitric oxide. About 4000 mg 1 hr prior to activity is good.

aw

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My former boyfriend, eleven years older...no problem with his sex drive....current boyfriend...one year yonger....it died years ago...

Maybe it died because his gf is getting over the hill?

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At over 45 making love to a beautiful woman simply requires a little more thought. Flowers, fine wines, Belgian chocolates, a single red rose on the pillow, these all add to the expectation. Particularly if the current Mrs Swiss is away and you have a new young secretary to impress...

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single red rose is boring, you could try rose petals or fragrant Jasmine.. Swiss toni, shame on you..

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why bother trying to impress a woman.. most guys need a gimick anyway, like a tatoo, pony tail, play in the band, part of a bikers club or whatever.. my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her.

aw

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my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her.

Excellent post.

I learned that from Gary Sinise in Of Mice and Men. I will pass it on to my sons.

You also get a woman who gets monthly health checkups.

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why bother trying to impress a woman.. most guys need a gimick anyway, like a tatoo, pony tail, play in the band, part of a bikers club or whatever.. my gimick is 5000 yen and it gets me 15 minutes with some of the youngest (within legal limits) and prettiest beauties in Japan to fulfill your wildest fantasies........ and you can leave right afterward and not have to deal with her.

alphawolf where do you shop? only ¥5,000? that's what I call getting a lot of bang for your buck.

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