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Six-year-old Koki Tomiishi was buried Sept 19 in Fukuoka. At the funeral, his mother was heard sobbing, “I want to kill” Koki’s murderer. Two days later she was arrested -- having admitted, police say, that she was the murderer.
It’s not just the twists and turns of this one singular case. Thirteen children were killed during the first six months of this year, says Josei Seven (Oct 9), citing police statistics. What kind of person can murder a child? The magazine confesses itself “at a loss for words.” But as it delves into the biography of Kaoru Tomiishi, Koki’s 35-year-old mother, the most frightening thing that emerges is not how strange she seems but, on the contrary, how ordinary.
The allegation is that she strangled her son Sept 18 at Fukuoka’s Odo Park, then pretended to frantically search for the boy, saying he had wandered off while she used the toilet. The boy’s corpse was found some 40 minutes later. After the funeral, police noticed inconsistencies in her accounts of what happened. On the 21st, she reportedly confessed.
The Tomiishi family lived in an apartment some 300 meters from the park. Kaoru’s husband is a factory worker. Kaoru worked part-time at a supermarket but quit her job in May due to an unspecified but apparently worsening illness that left her weak and, at times, scarcely able to move. She reportedly told police: “I was pessimistic about the future.”
Josei Seven shows us a seemingly happy young family. There were difficulties, but none that foreshadowed a ghastly climax. One early problem was Kaoru’s strained relationship with her mother-in-law, with whom the young couple lived during the first years of their marriage. They moved into their own place last spring, when Koki started school.
Kaoru’s mysterious physical condition was another problem. It began with her pregnancy. Her morning sickness was so severe she had to be hospitalized. Shortly after giving birth, she injured a leg in a car accident. She never recovered full mobility. This seems to have fed guilt feelings. “She blamed herself, saying she was no good as a wife,” Josei Seven hears from a workplace acquaintance.
Weighing most heavily on her was Koki’s hyper-activity. His behavior was impulsive and unpredictable. Unable to settle down, he had to be watched constantly. Hyper-activity in very young children is fairly widespread. Josei Seven quotes the Education Ministry as estimating that there are one to three moderately hyper-active children in an average elementary school class.
Though under strain, Kaoru seemed to be coping. She was active on the PTA, and struck other members as keenly interested in the school and her child’s education. Neighbors say she saw her son off to school on time every morning, and often took him to Odo Park to play.
But there were cracks in the facade. “Once,” an acquaintance tells Josei Seven, “I saw Koki running around having a good time, and I said to Kaoru, ‘What a good child’ -- to which she replied, ‘I wish he was like other children.’ Then she added sadly, ‘Sometimes I just don’t know what to do.’”
In May she quit both her job and the PTA. Her illness seemed to be getting serious. For days at a time, she was too debilitated to leave the house.
Someone who figures surprisingly little in the story is Kaoru’s husband. “Such a kind husband,” says a neighbor. “She should have depended on him more. But she seemed to feel that since he worked, taking care of the home and the child was her responsibility. She was strangely determined on that point.”
“Parents with hyperactive children,” says a mental health expert, “are often very isolated from the people around them. They are embarrassed, and keep it to themselves. They blame themselves. The syndrome is generally not well understood in Japan. We’ve been building a nationwide organization for parents of children with development disorders. We ask people to use it, and share their troubled feelings with others in the same situation.”
© Japan Today
18 Comments
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Betting
People here love to brag about the advances in technology they have, but any sort of problem is covered up, don't let anyone see it ...
I think once Japan makes advances in its own culture, it will be a truly advanced nation. Being able to talk freely about these problems, without fear of retribution or shame, is a sign of maturity.
gaijinboy
Right, Betting.
The fear of retribution or shame is often a detriment to progress forward here. It's clear from the statements in this article (albeit JT) that this ex-mother had a major complex about things that weren't what she thought "normal". Perhaps she is just an extreme product of that environment (not to condone her terrible actions or anything... just a thought)?
On a different note, what is Josei Seven?
Moderator: Josei Seven is a magazine.
memyselfI
It's very sad this woman couldn't get help. And the PTA is a Gossip Club, not a group helping parents and students. All they talk about is the weird kids and their weird parents. The government of Japan needs to help poor,working,single and stressed out parents. Usually it's the family within that pyschologically destroys the weak (mother) person. People can't afford a child during these over priced times, how can this woman get help for her child and herself. She couldn't, and the best way she thought to end her problems was to...... and further destroy herself in the process.
Dennis Bauer
Why is it that in the west low wage working mothers can support a few kids, but not in Japan? Is it so depressing to watch a kid while you rather would go shopping, buying branded goods? These people have a lack in social upbringing IMO
seesaw
hmmm...this is the problem with a society which emphasizes superficiality. No one wants to be 'real friend' to anyone..only be 'nice' to everyone and make the 'surface' look good....So, when a Japanese woman has a problem as such, she can't relate to a close friend because she doesnt have one........
mnemosyne23
"Kaoru worked part-time at a supermarket but quit her job in May due to an unspecified but apparently worsening illness that left her weak and, at times, scarcely able to move. She reportedly told police: 'I was pessimistic about the future.'"
That sounds like severe chronic depression to me. If Kaoru had somewhere to turn, someone to talk to, this might not have happened. We'll never know now, and that poor child died as a result. I can't justify the mother's actions at all and wouldn't even try, but I hope that this tragedy will help raise awareness of mental health concerns in Japan and lead to some social reforms. It might be a pipe dream, but we can still hope.
mojibake
Wonder how many ADHD kids in Japan go unmedicated. They should really import the American concept of "toss a few pills at Junior and he'll be fine!"
tkoind2
Clearly sounds like this lady was suffering from severe depression. Why doesn't the article talk about that?
I know of a lot of people in Japan who suffer silently from severe depression. Most just live lives that don't move for them and with very little support or recognition for their illness. Often it is just dismissed as stress, or worst, as weakness.
Don't the numbers of suicides, family related murders and other actions that are on the rise make anyone in the government wonder what is going on? Why isn't there more being done to look after the mental welfare of the Japanese public? Clearly it is needed, clearly it is a major problem and clearly the causes are, in part, coming from a failure to give people the time they need to spend at home with family dealing with family issues.
Everyone in this story is a victim.
ca1ic0cat
here's a quote from a story on this same page:
"after being fired from her job teaching English at a kindergarten for the heinous crime of consulting a psychotherapist..."
This is the way that mental illness is treated in a lot of societies. Japan seems to be particularly bad for this. As long as the stigma remains the crimes will continue apace.
8iamhappy8
This woman definitely has a personality disorder. Just as there are many classes of males ranging from alpha, to jerks, to beta, this woman is definitely a beta, d/t the fact that:
She's probably of the dependent personality disorder type (anxious and nervous). Her son's activity also caused her to become relatively isolated d/t the embarassment, thus also bringing out some of her avoidant personality trait. Also, she incured far too many illnesses since the start of pregnancy to be taken seriously. Coupled with the personality disorders described, we would call this Munchausen syndrome (feigned illnesses).
8iamhappy8
Also further lending evidence to Munchausen syndrome is her acting ability, both at the murder scene, and at the funeral.
8iamhappy8
Oh yeah, on a last note, if you can sniff out a beta female from the start of a relationship. Don't marry her. Let someone else deal with her. This type of woman is often a nut-case and will bog you down physically and emotionally. It's the alpha females you should be pursuing.
greensatindress
what is a beta female?
8iamhappy8
same as a beta male (in Pick-Up terms, a "nice guy").
blackpassenger
atari mae, japan is a hotbed for personality disorders. borderline personality disorder is rampant here. the whole society needs mass counseling.
seesaw
blackpassenger: LOL...i agree with ya!
8iamhappy8
Just curious... Why do you think she is borderline.? There's nothing in her history to suggest that she would "suddenly lash out", or have an outburst of anger...
The_Pope
Hyperactivity portends to she was pumping the kid full of sugary junk food. In the US its the first thing pediatrians do is check the diet of hyperactive kids.