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Ex-soccer player Honda, wife divorce after 6 years of sexless marriage

77 Comments

The private lives of a former Kashima Antler soccer player and his model wife were recently publicized on a TV variety show. Yumiko Takaoka, 34, who was married to Yasuto Honda, 40, has been described as an "oniyome" or "wife from hell" who refuses to be touched by her husband and locks the door to her bedroom at night.

The last six years of their life together have been sexless, say the tabloids. In fact, Honda was kicked out of their home by Takaoka early this year, and he had been staying at various friends’ houses.

Finally, the two are legally separated. A friend of Takaoka says that Honda was against divorcing in consideration of their daughter. But Takaoka, who has become a frequent guest on TV shows as an "oniyome," is convinced she can raise her child on her own.

Few realize that Honda helped raise the model’s popularity by acting the part of a submissive husband in public. His former team members and others in the soccer circle had strongly advised him against making such TV appearances, considered a taboo particularly for ex-players who wish to become team managers some day. He continued, though, saying it was what he promised his wife.

As the only soccer player who stayed with Kashima Antlers for 15 years, many had hoped Honda would return to the field one day, but instead he chose his wife over future prospects. And now that he’s been dumped, what’s to become of his career?

© Japan Today

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77 Comments
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This doesn't surprise me. Thousands of Japanese couples live like this. Very few Japanese women have a clue what romance even means. Have a bath, take off all your make-up and put on grandma's underwear and pajamas then crawl in bed with her husband.

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sammuraisteve> spot on....its such weird behaviour...its like they make all the "effort" at the beginning then once they are married, they can't be bothered anymore.

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Whoa.... I always knew that soccer was a low-scoring affair, but this is ridiculous.

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But Takaoka, who has become a frequent guest on TV shows as an “oniyome,”

So, she's an ice queen -- I can think of another word -- and the Japanese media makes that fact into something with which to entertain audiences.

His former team members and others in the soccer circle had strongly advised him against making such TV appearances, considered a taboo particularly for ex-players who wish to become team managers some day.

Maybe some team could hire his wife as a special trainer for goalkeepers. She certainly has a long string of shutouts to her credit.

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He must have been penalized for many handballs over the past six years.

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"submissive husband"

How could he be a submissive husband if she locked the door to her bedroom?

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How could he be a submissive husband if she locked the door to her bedroom?

An assertive husband would break into her bedroom and get his conjugal rights.

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Yabits: well played. lol.

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Sounds like a normal Japanese marriage....

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I've seen this lady on TV and she's absolutely bonkers.

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sod her then

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I feel very sorry for this husband! I hope he can make a better life for himself someday, the woman sounds like a nut case!

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is convinced she can raise her child on her own.

Guess that will be the last the guy sees of his daughter.

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Common story but it doesnt have to be made public. Sometimes I'm just confused about this country's culture. What I thought should be kept in privacy is made public without any shame.

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I saw on TV that she threatened him with a knife when he tried to come close to her. Tough woman. I want to be like her - to refuse to men when I do not like them.

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This doesn't surprise me. Thousands of Japanese couples live like this. Very few Japanese women have a clue what romance even means. Have a bath, take off all your make-up and put on grandma's underwear and pajamas then crawl in bed with her husband.

You must truly be wise in the ways of the (Japanese) world to have this little factoid at your fingertips. I don't know why, though, as a remedy for this diminution of the marital impulse, you would recommend putting on your grandma's undies and then crawling into bed with her husband (grampy?).

Moderator: Back on topic please.

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is convinced she can raise her child on her own.

So she doubted she could do it in the past? Amazing what motivational CD's can do to people these days.

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he must be really shitty in bed to be locked out after they had a child !!

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is convinced she can raise her child on her own

I pity the poor soul that dates or marries this child. He will be faced with the prospect of marrying a woman that will turn into a bitter old maid. Also, if mom is still around (a good possibility since I she is not too old now), she probably will be the interferring mother-in-law that is the basis for all the Mother-in-Law jokes.

The real tragedy in this case is the child. She is getting screwed over by her parents nonsense. Just the cycle repeating herself. I imagine that in 20 years from now, for this model to make a comeback, she will go on the air and publically apologize for her behavior and then try to start spinning a new round of "marriage and self help" CD's based on her screwed up life. And, sad to say there will probably be a market for it.

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Way too much information on other people's private lives...

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I heard a professional advice from a radio show that you should only mary to women who love their fathers. I don't know about this case but the husbans seems to be so passive ,he takes NO for an answer.

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Seriously controlling woman.

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She's famous for staying in a marriage with a man she hates that she's threatened with a knife? If this is what the media is putting out there as a role model for women here, I feel sorry for married people. No wonder marriage rates are dropping.

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Many J-women told me that they feel that the hubby after the marriage becomes like family. You wouldn't have sex with your brother either now, would you?

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Why didn't he divorce her sooner?

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6 years? she needs a good beat-down

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gogogo, sounds like a seriously mentally ill woman. Your point is made.

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They were living separately for a long time because she was living in Tokyo and he was playing outside of Tokyo. When he joined her in Tokyo again she had already changed. She could not even hold hands with him. I watched a program with both of them on TV where other talentos gave them advice how to improve their relatinship. some people suggested that she might have a boyfriend if she did not want to be touched by her husband but she said she had nobody other than her husband and she loved her husband but did not want to be approached by him. A skit was shown on TV how she threatened Honda with a kitchen knife when he came clode to her to hug her. They both promised to try hard to resolve their problems. It seems it did not work for them.

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I notice too that once a Japanese couple has a child they start calling their husband otoosan or papa. Can't figure this out. Why would you call your husband your father? No wonder all the romance is gone and the marriage is sexless.

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Dewaashita: Agreed, she is a uber control freak. Probably extremely spoiled as a child from a rich family.

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I want to be like her - to refuse to men when I do not like them.

oh dear. had a tough love life eh? treat 'em mean keep 'em keen. you lot love it

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He probably felt that she was having a hard time and decided to stick around and support her. 6 years later he got the picture. He sounds like a patient and caring individual. She sounds like a spoiled, selfish, and controlling "you know what." Unfortunately, hell never see his child again. Thats sad. He might have been a good father.

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If the comments here are accurate then it is not even about a sexless marriage, she just cant bear anyone coming near her/holding her hand/hugging her period. That suggests to me there is definitely some kind of trauma there. She needs help, and better more professional help than from a bunch of tarentos by the sound of it.

And what kind of person goes public in this kind of way with these kinds of problems? Someone whos` star is well on the wane, perchance....?

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Great comments, kirakira25. I feel sorry for both parents and child. The mother definitely needs help.

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She may need help, but custody of their child should go to this loyal husband rather than to a misanthrope who threatened her spouse with a knife. She may think she can raise their kid alone, but an impartial observer can see that that would hardly be a good environment for a child.

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Actually (based on the limited facts in the article) I agree ThonTaddeo. If the mother needs help, she can focus on getting the help she needs, while the father cares for the child, and hopefully they can work something out between them so the child suffers as little as possible and can see both parents.

In the long run, getting help will benefit both her and the child. Lets hope she is actually able to take those steps to get the help she needs for her own and the childs sake. (And by that I dont mean flaunting herself on any more TV shows as a "modern celibate woman"!)

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Being frigid could be the result of a lot of things. Trauma gets played to a lot, but I also believe sexual experience too late is a fairly common problem, maybe even moreso. I think it is also natural for some women to just not have or be able to have an interest.

Such women simply should not breed, or, they should remain single. No sense dragging a guy through that kind of hell unless she lets him know up front what he is getting into.

However, since they did have a kid and did get married, I would say he has every right to keep a mistress and stay married. But divorce is certainly an valid option too.

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Nightmare marriage! I think it's very common here nowadays.

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I'm sure she has a secret gaijin boyfriend ;)

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I'm sure no guy (gaijin or not) would want to touch her at this point...

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I'm sure she has a secret gaijin boyfriend ;)

strange how the imagination of the foreign guys starts to work when they see a woman can be a challenge...

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I'm sure no guy (gaijin or not) would want to touch her at this point...

I think the opposite. When guys find a woman to be as unvailable as she is, they become more and more motivated.

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Oh, I am sorry. Let me state correctly:

I'm sure no guy in their right mind (gaijin or not) would want to touch her at this point...

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If I were a guy, I would be running FAR away. This woman doesn't need a boyfriend, she needs counseling.

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I suppose we shouldn't really judge. Besides, this info comes from tabloids so not exactly reliable. I mean the woman has been described as a 'wife from hell' but we don't know what kind of husband he was. Who knows what the real situation was. How do we know that he wasn't abusing her? I don't know who is the demon in this marriage but clearly they need to be civil to each other for their daughter. Hopefully the father can continue to see his daughter after the divorce, assuming that the mother will likely get custody.

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Sounds like the typical dysfunctional Japanese family/couple.

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This guy got whipped real bad. No one can respect guys who get whipped this badly. Woman like this are Praying Mantis. Mate with it at your own peril. I learned years ago to avoid being bewitched by a woman's beauty. This tool is suffering a fate he heaped onto himself.

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I learned years ago to avoid being bewitched by a woman's beauty

And still you could not avoid it, my poor bobbafet.

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And still you could not avoid it, my poor bobbafet.

I can my love.

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luckily, I think these women are pretty rare.

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I can my love.

you are still in denial, bobbafett. Be careful because... This kind of women make men obsessed. Honda is still dreaming of her I bet.

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you are still in denial, bobbafett.

I am OK Love. I am not the kind of man like Honda that thinks with his little head, or needs a beauty to make himself look good in front of his peers and in his mind.

I would hate myself if I was such a fool and so weak.

But I can see through a persons skin deep appearance. The kind of woman that you refer to screams danger to me. I simply avoid any form of contact.

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I don't remember the song completely, maybe it was sung by Harry Belafonte, but the lyrics seem applicable: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So from my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you

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The kind of woman that you refer to screams danger to me. I simply avoid any form of contact.

yes, my dear bobafette, this is a good decision. I applaud it.

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I learned years ago to avoid being bewitched by a woman's beauty

^^^^^^^^

I think Homer was onto something when he wrote about Oddyseus being tempted by the sirens...

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Honda had a great engine for a midfielder.

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Not exactly sexless if they had a daughter :) I agree with dolphingirl, don't simply demonize the wife. Who knows why she is escaping contact with him.

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Isn't that what she wants us to do? Showing up on TV acting like a whackjob is a pretty dead give away, I would think...

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the daughter should sue the mother for all the money she makes on tv.

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This Honda guy is doing the right thing, even though it took him oh... 5.9 years too long to do it. Hopefully hell be able to find someone who likes a healthy relationship.

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To bad he probably will never see his daughter again until she turns 20! Can you sue your wife in this country for not putting out?

Maybe he should have invited the team over, kicked in the door, and given the ice queen a little defrosting!

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Yes, if you are seeking divorce, you can claim shes not putting out and get uncontested win. (Which basically means you dont pay her any money) Even if you somehow managed to convince the court she wasnt putting out and you did win, that doesnt mean you get any right to your children. And since she isnt going to be getting any money, how likely will it be she will let you see your kids?

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No matter how beautiful this woman is, there is a strong possibility she may have a problem even finding a date in the future. Someone should look in the possibility that she is batting for the other team...just maybe, I say this because 6 years is a looong time to not have sex after having started in the first place, even for Japanese I think. She also needs a mental evaluation. It sounds as if she has some pent up anger against men too.

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It is amazing how little sex Japanese couples have. Friends of mine are shocked when I tell them my wife and I do it 2-3 times a week. They say they only do it once a month.

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please just give me one shot,i will sort her out, just one shot

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Well, the sexiest part of the body is the brain so being a model or pro athlete doesn't ensure a good sex life.

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Sexless marriage. Why don't the guys who have these kind of relationships determine plans of action and go on strike? Now is the perfect time to refuse to pay for whatever and blame it on the economy, if you are shy, or concerned about whatever. Wyoming was the first state to allow women to vote and it wasn't by the women being nice. Very nice article in other publication about men's rights and the need for a men's movement. Why put up with a sexless marriage, relationship or whatever.

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i sympathize with honda regarding his wrecked marriage...what a devilish wife he had...he should celebrate with his divorce for finally he's got a chance to find a girl worth spending his life with...honda...ganbare!!!!

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Honda was kicked out of their home by Takaoka early this year, and he had been staying at various friends’ houses.

Yeah, I bet.

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Maybe some team could hire his wife as a special trainer for goalkeepers. She certainly has a long string of shutouts to her credit.

I imagine there were plenty of "own goals" on both sides.

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She's a model so she probably just didn't want her hair mussed.

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I heard every time she touched him he'd dive to the floor and roll around in pain.

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I remember him, a right back I think, and a tough player. 6 years in a sexless marriage, time to move on. I'm sure he's a great father and divorce is no laughing matter. Feel for him. But, after 6 years of no sex, he should have moved on to another woman a long time ago.

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Children are always the dilemma. I don't think he'd have stuck around 6 years if it weren't for his daughter. Getting a divorce is easy if you have no children and are unhappy. 10x easier if you're a soccer player, even if you're butt ugly. So yeah, he did it for his child. Whom he's never going to see again.

Japan's system of sole custody creates a hostage situation for honest fathers, while rewarding fathers who could care less.

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6 years are needed to realise that something is wrong with your marriage? Didn’t know that Japanese are so slow in realising and admitting their emotions

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Actually Love can exist without sex...

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LoveUSA, I will agree to disagree, but I will do so politely. Love can exist but only for a very brief time. To attempt to do so without sex is not possible. To quote John Cleese "not even with a conjurer and a steel band".

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