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kuchikomi

How women can manipulate clueless men

71 Comments

Men! How have they managed to survive this long, clueless as they are? Without women to prop them up, they’d have gone extinct millennia ago. And yet they call women the weaker sex.

Take heart, women, says Shukan Josei (May 12-19). Men are manageable. They are manipulable. Incurable sluggards though they are, and stupid into the bargain, they can be made to assume their fair share of responsibility around the house. All you have to do is learn how their brains function – to the extent that they function at all.

The reader will have guessed, even without knowing that “josei” means women, that Shukan Josei’s readership is primarily female. Truly, a woman’s lot in modern Japan is a hard one. Housework, child care and elderly care are all considered her domain, while her husband, when home, is permitted by custom to relax after a hard day’s work. But as often as not, the wife has a job too.

You explain and explain again: you’re tired, you need help with the household chores; it just doesn’t penetrate. Is it mere laziness? Or something more?

Something more, says Shukan Josei – to wit, the male brain. Unlike the female brain, which can perform numerous functions simultaneously, the male brain is a “mono-tasker.” That’s the first thing to understand if you want to reduce the stress of having to coexist with the human sloth who is your husband. He’s not slothful on purpose. He would help willingly enough, and maybe not altogether incompetently, if you can just master the art of penetrating his mono-tasking brain.

Step one: realize that it is not out of malice that he seems not to hear when you ask him to do the laundry, or clean the bathtub, or whatever. You think, “All right, he’s a mono-tasker, that means he engages in one task as opposed to several, and yet there he lies on the sofa, while I…” Yes, but, says the magazine, even as he lies there, looking like idleness personified, his brain is not idle; it’s spinning images of the work piling up on his desk at the office, or the new car he wants to buy, or last week’s golf game. That doesn’t sound too demanding, and isn’t – you, as a woman, could easily spin your images and do a hundred other things besides, but you must make allowances. Break into his thoughts slowly: “Dear? Can we talk now?” Give him time to empty his brain – then fill it with what you want him to do. You’ll be surprised how readily he responds.

A man around the house, says Shukan Josei, is a bit like a rookie employee at work. He needs orders. Tell him what to do – but gently, and without criticism if his first efforts are clumsy. Display impatience or irritation and he’ll start grumbling about “housework harassment,” the latest spawn of that most prolific of nouns, “harassment,” whose offspring include sex harassment, power harassment, paternity harassment, maternity harassment and so on, housework harassment being the supposed bullying men are subject to when they are judged to perform their assigned household tasks incompetently. Criticize by all means, if criticism is warranted – but mix in a little flattery. What harm can it do? The male brain thrives on it.

One final point about the male brain – it is stodgily conservative. It hates change. A new restaurant has opened, you’re keen to check it out, but no, he favors the same old place, where the waiters faun on him as a regular customer, making him look good, he thinks, in your eyes. That too can be surmounted – but slowly, patiently, indirectly! Think of your man’s brain as a musical instrument and learn to play it. Fortunately, it’s an uncommonly simple instrument. A little practice will turn you into a maestro.

© Japan Today

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.

71 Comments
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Do women in Japan actually read this drivel? This article is so stupid it is would be odious to comment.

33 ( +33 / -3 )

Wow. Just wow. This is wrong on so many levels.

12 ( +15 / -3 )

I hope my wife doesn't read this article.

10 ( +13 / -3 )

And they wonder why the "after hours" businesses like hostess bars and other places will never go out of business if women really take the advice from this article. Why would one put up with this when all you have to do is go to the nearest place to take the edge off, and then go home and deal with a nutcase like the one depicted.

10 ( +14 / -4 )

This is an awesome article. It really made me laugh. Why are people complaining?

13 ( +16 / -3 )

"An uncommonly simple instrument "

I mean....come on we can do most thing right when we put are minds to it.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Unlike the female brain, which can perform numerous functions simultaneously, the male brain is a “mono-tasker.”

Really? I can drink a beer, man a bbq and dance at the same time.

16 ( +18 / -2 )

How women can manipulate clueless men

Any woman can "manipulate" men by... complimenting them. Us guys like it just as much as you ladies do.

Pouting, or showing a bit more of your anatomy, works too. Use due caution with the latter when the man is using heavy machinery, driving a car, walking on a train platform, etc.

But somehow I think you already know all this...

8 ( +10 / -2 )

"Think of your man’s brain as a musical instrument and learn to play it." - article

As some have observed, there are other parts of men comparable to musical instruments that can be 'played' to the same effect as wasting time with the brain. In essence, this article pitches manipulation and deception as corner stones of healthy relationships. How immature and demeaning.

12 ( +13 / -3 )

I've listened to enough stories from the wife of her married female co-workers and the problems of getting the husband away from his cell phone and try to help around the house. So this story does ring true for some.

Moral of the story; Lighten up ladies.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

Women as crazy as they are, might actually believe this crap.

4 ( +9 / -5 )

this article pitches manipulation and deception as corner stones of healthy relationships. How immature and demeaning.

You can nag your man to do what's necessary and then have an argument when it isn't done, or isn't done to your satisfaction.

Or you can let him think it was his idea in the first place, let him enjoy being the Good Guy who Helps His Wife, and share with him the satisfaction of a job well done once he's done it.

As 'Basher notes, compliments works wonders.

10 ( +12 / -2 )

Fortunately, it’s an uncommonly simple instrument.

What a vulgar article.

5 ( +9 / -4 )

If this article was written the other way around it would have been pulled and most some kind of disciplinary action taken. The whole feminism movement is out of whack.

Seems logical to help out around the house if you are a guy but dont be nagging your man too much. Do women get married so they can all of a sudden start running their mans life? Is that what they want?

I have to work outside the house much much more than my partner so she obviously has to do more work at home. Im guessing a large number of women dont like this. Ive offered to switch roles but it got shut down. Working around the house is important but the banks, utility companies, credit card companies etc. dont give a rats ass about how much housework you do, they still want their money. Decide how the household will be run early on and get on with it.

4 ( +8 / -4 )

Sadly for Japanese men I would imagine the majority of Japanese women believe the general meaning/basis/essence of the article.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

Yet another cheap shot at the male population. If the shoe were on the other foot, the feminists would have a field day.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

This article is the story of my life.

When I read that "it’s an uncommonly simple instrument. A little practice will turn you into a maestro." I was thinking about something besides my brain that would bring my wife much quicker results.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

If dogs could read, this would be the kind of stuff they would read. Because, to a dog, we are there to serve them. They are unaware that we have a whole world of thoughts that don't revolve around an evening walk, a rawhide bone, or food.

Any woman who takes this seriously, therefore, has the mentality of a poodle. I don't think many women do take it seriously though - it's just a bit of venting.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

Did a chick or a bloke write this?

Anyway,

Think of your man’s brain as a musical instrument and learn to play it. Fortunately, it’s an uncommonly simple instrument. A little practice will turn you into a maestro.

They got that wrong - brain has nothing to do with it. Something else I'd reckon.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

'Yes, but, says the magazine, even as he lies there, looking like idleness personified, his brain is not idle; it’s spinning images of the work piling up on his desk at the office, or the new car he wants to buy,'

Did they dig up this crap from the eighties? Not only are the gender stereotypes dated, the lifestyles are too. Nowadays, the things spinning around the head of the majority of men will probably be worries about meeting the mortgage repayments.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Um, weekends are for shared bath tub duty etc. if both are working.

What person after a long hard annoying day at work, and a super long uncomfortable crowded and smelly train trip home would want to clean a toilet, do the wash etc.? If one of the spouses is home, before going out for cake and coffee and rumor mongering, clean the toilet, bathtub, and do the wash.

I would think even a challenged person could not be coerced into doing anything as such commandeered by the bride at home.

If one or the other spouse needs to be tricked into doing something, then that is not a relationship at all.

4 ( +7 / -3 )

If one of the spouses is home, before going out for cake and coffee and rumour mongering

I love how people add an 'if' and then let their imagination go off at a tangent.

Maybe you missed the bit that says as often as not, the wife has a job too. So yeah, What person (male or female) after a long hard annoying day at work, and a super long uncomfortable crowded and smelly train trip home would want to clean a toilet, do the wash etc.?

And if I can add my own, possibly closer to reality (from what I see around me) 'if', IF she's looking after his elderly, possibly slightly senile and maybe even incontinent parents, he should be rushing home to help, not to lie on the sofa thinking about cars and golf.

8 ( +10 / -2 )

There is only 1 way women can control any man. First, be beautiful and hot, secondly, use that to your advantage, show cleavage and what not. That's all there is too it. For any female readers out there that want to test this theory, please let me know. I am very available for scientific tests

-5 ( +5 / -10 )

I for one don't see what the big deal is with doing dishes and a small amount of cleaning. I am a male, and work full time, yet I can come home and cook dinner for the spouse and kid if needed, and even tell the spouse just leave the dishes I will get them before we go to bed.

I think the bigger issue is that most Japanese women can't cook, or don't know how to cook without making a mess and if they do it, make it like it was a major production requiring a massive amount of effort. From the time the gas is turned on to a finished product, one could make a simple beef yakiniku or chicken stir fry in under 30-35 minutes, without using every pot and pan in the kitchen. Before I married, I ran into numerous women who had no clue around the kitchen. Maybe they were "playing" me the gaijin, but when I look back over it, they really weren't.

Yes household chores can get one tired and they can get burdensome, but that's just a part of life. Maybe if so many Japanese men didn't live at home for such a long time under the care of someone else, they may be able to do the necessary things to run a home.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

If this article was written the other way around it would have been pulled and most some kind of disciplinary action taken. The whole feminism movement is out of whack.

This was the first thing that came to my mind too. Replace "the male brain" with "female brain" and this article would never have seen the light of day. But belittiling or portraying men as simple idiots in most forms of media is A-OK.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

Yes a smart female can manipulate a man but also a smart man can out wit a smart women. my girlfriend has told me once that she is doing all the work around the unit. My reply is that you alway jump into and the work right away. She says to me that I and my unit was total organise before before she move in and that I am allowing her to do all the work. I told her that is not true, It is just that I used my time differently compare to you. Gave her example. I used to up early and do my choirs now that we sleep together I stay in bed with you. I suggest if you want I will start getting up early which she declined. At night I always use to wash up about hour after dinner but you have to wash up as soon as we have finish dinner. Just that you got your way and I have my way. It will get done but you want it done at that moment that suit you. I have to relax for at less a hour after dinner. I ask her do you want me to change the way I do nothing or shall we stop living together and she decline. We been living together for 4 years now and we had never had that convatsation again.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Hear, hear, Alphaape.

Ladies, watch as your man prepares a meal from scratch, washes the chopping board and other utensils while it cooks, serves something original and healthy, and does the dishes afterwards.

Then moan about how stressful it is shopping by air-conditioned car for bentos and other processed, additive-laden food.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Haha this was a hilarious read!! Yeah its offensive, clearly it meant to be & to be a bit over the top. I am sure many westerners wont find much truth in this blurb, but Japanese will find more I bet LOL!!

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Japan where marriage means the man thinks he has a second mother that takes care of him and put up with his crap, and the woman thinks she has a "big son" that needs to be controlled and put into submission "her way".

11 ( +11 / -0 )

What person (male or female) after a long hard annoying day at work, and a super long uncomfortable crowded and smelly train trip home would want to clean a toilet, do the wash etc.?

I guess this is why I don't get these types of articles. I was single for a very long time before I married (a good 20 years after I graduated college) so while I was living alone, going out to sea in the Navy, and coming home after spending 1 out of every 4 days sleeping on the ship for duty reasons, I was still able to cook a meal, do laundry and housework, and had one heck of a time being a single man in places like San Diego, Honolulu, and every good liberty port in the Pacific. So I am not buying it totally that just becuase one works, they have to let household chores go to the side.

As some have pointed out, they may not get done exactly at the right time that a spouse may want them to be done or in the same manner, but in my case, they get done. It seems that for too many here in Japan, they make it seem like being single and living alone is exclusive of being able to be an adult and take care of your own place.

For the record, the places that I used to live in while I was single were considerably much more larger than any of the so called single bedroom places that singles or some families live in here in Japan. Yet somehow, I was able to get them cleaned up and on numerous occasions had to tell a date that I wasn't married just becuase I lived alone in a clean house.

Time for both men and women in Japan to grow up a little and be adults when it comes to taking care of ones self.

8 ( +7 / -0 )

Oh the unfortunate dudes I've seen here, that came and married the first girl they saw... It's like a nightmare that won't end. Say no to crack ya'll.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

The point they tried to make about mono-tasker & multi-tasker is BS. The human brain is not designed to multi-task.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Ladies, watch as your man prepares a meal from scratch, washes the chopping board and other utensils while it cooks, serves something original and healthy, and does the dishes afterwards.

My first work experience at age 17 was in KFC, and their motto was "clean as you go" in the kitchen. Don't just wait until the end of your shift to clean, while stuff is cooking a better use of your time is to clean up what you just used rather than standing over a cooker watching chicken fry. Same concept applies to cooking and cleaning as it realtes to this article. Finish one task, clean while you wait on another. Heck I can still cook and watch TV at the same time and carry on a conversation with the wife and kid.

It's not hard. But I guess it is all in the perspective you come from. In Japan the narrative is men can't do it, but in places like Singapore or Hong Kong, the native women relay on cheap labor of maids from the PI, Malaysia and Thailand, and an article I read a few years ago was going on how your Singaporeans can't do simple tasks like making a bed or ironing their own clothes, since they have relied on a maid to do this for them so imagine the shock when they start their own homes and have very little domestic skills. Different country but basically the same problem, adults don't know how to be adults.

5 ( +4 / -0 )

I also lived by myself for years before marriage.

So I do all the cleaning, washing and cooking myself, quiet a few ladies were surprised how clean my place was, etc.

Agree with clean as you go saves a lot of hassle and clustered kitchen. Set a routine cleans you go and your weekly tidy up session are way shorter.

Glad my mother taught me cooking from age 8 and we had to partake in the weekly cleaning of the place as both my parents worked.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

The thing I really like about these 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' type articles, when written by a woman, is how they guarantee a high quota of butthurt responses.

You would never guess that men have had several millennia of cultural, social, spiritual, economic and legal superiority over women.... and they still do.

A light-hearted piece of drudgery relief in a women's magazine and fellas start attacking feminism. Risibly pathetic.

-3 ( +2 / -5 )

If my wife didn't clean up , fill the fridge and take care of the kids while I'm out foraging for a new car and the annual holidays , she'd be out of a job . There are no slackers in my house .. Yes. I'm the boss.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Thats it and thats why J women do not like foreign men so much. They know they cant get away with the manipulation and control and they know everything is more on a level platform or playing field which is something they not used to.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

This is hilarious... love the reactions of some posters. It's hard to tell but maybe the article was tongue-in-cheek? To be honest Japanese guys are so lazy at home that I can understand why the women nag. Takes two to make a home, not just the wife running herself ragged and jumping out of the window holding a baby.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

I guess this article hit a few raw nerves in the male population... personally, I think it's very much "tongue-in-cheek". My ex-hubby was an excellent cook however, the mess he left behind was quite "significant". One day I said "I'd rather you didn't cook too often" (because of the mess) but he replied "Don't take away my one little pleasure !" We both worked but, as a University Professor, he had quite a lot of "free time" and did help around the house quite a lot. (The reasons for divorce were entirely unrelated to "housework").

After our divorce, the most wonderful (also Japanese) man came into our lives . he also cooked and helped with the chores. He was kind and generous, gentle and loving which explains why there is the expression "Only the good die young"...

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Thats it and thats why J women do not like foreign men so much.

In my experiences the majority of Japanese women are not against dating foreign men because they have a problem with foreign men, they just don't want to deal with the communication issues if they don't have a common language they are both strong in.

7 ( +7 / -1 )

If a Japanese woman married the stereotypical Japanese male portrayed in this article then they deserve it. The issue is the Japanese woman who, despite their male being over and above the garden variety tool described here, STILL moans and carries on... Take my wife… please! I'll pay the fare to anywhere.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

men is stupid = women is stupid, women is not stupid = men is not stupid, men is ego, women is jealousy, women is ego, men is jealousy, In the end, you are human, no matter what gender.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

This article is absolutely amazing. It actually shows what kind of image men have in women's minds because of their behavior.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

And yet they call women the weaker sex.

In japan, men come first. If this is not true, then why don't japanese women (traditionally) have solid profound foundations in corporate japan? politics? A normal career (for that matter)?

Because they're expected to raise kids, household, manage finances etc. . . . .Like it was 50 yrs. ago. Sad, but japanese men (and society) will always view their women as such- the weaker sex.

Another contemporary issue japan seriously needs to redress.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

Anyone who thinks Japanese women are the weaker sex hasn't been married to one.

9 ( +11 / -2 )

This is funny considering that there was an article just last week about how the stereotype of the man in the house has gone from "Homer Simpson" and Al Bundy from "Married With Children" to "Superman" over the last couple of decades. Of course, this article comes from a women's magazine, so I imagine the editors wouldn't put anything into the magazine that doesn't elevate women up onto a pedestal. It would be "blasphemy" to suggest that men can be just as capable around the house as women are.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Maybe women should treat men the same way men treat women. Of course, human civilization would decline more rapidly than it already is.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Thats it and thats why J women do not like foreign men so much. They know they cant get away with the manipulation and control

Thanks for the chuckle. Foreign men can't be so easily controlled? Never heard of Pavlov's poontang?

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Thanks for the chuckle. Foreign men can't be so easily controlled? Never heard of Pavlov's poontang?

Western men coming to Japan expecting a lot of poontang are the most easily controlled.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Thanks for the chuckle. Foreign men can't be so easily controlled? Never heard of Pavlov's poontang?

The problem is they put the poontang on a pedestal.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

No wonder the marriage and birthrate continue to plummet

1 ( +1 / -0 )

This human sloth is thankfully not with a manipulative, shallow, and unloving woman like the one who wrote this bit of bad advice.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

How is it that woman in Japan have such a 'good commanding position' over their man yet when the marriage breaks up, she is left with the kids and the need to take a job, no jobs, to support them. I know of one with 2 kids from 2 previous marriages doing multiple jobs just to get by. Maybe she is a rarity, but it is one too many.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I just dumped a very pretty girl 15 years younger than I because her conversation and character were so poor. When I was younger I would've let her manipulate me. The article's analysis is weak. It doesn't account for the age or experience of the men involved.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

There must be some way outta here said the joker to the queen...

2 ( +2 / -0 )

"Men!..."

Har! I'm so looking foward to the next article, "Women!..."

0 ( +1 / -1 )

volunteer "dummy" for the next survey...please

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Western men coming to Japan expecting a lot of poontang are the most easily controlled.

I nearly died of laughter. So true! Bait, set, and trap.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Weird

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Funny when I met my wife during an exchange program she said I was the coldest guy she ever met but here we are 9 years later with two young daughters.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

*Unlike the female brain, which can perform numerous functions simultaneously, the male brain is a “mono-tasker.” *** Rally...I can drink Beer and Pee at the same time...lol

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I would love to be a stay at home dad! If my wife was able to make the same money as I do, I'd be nagging for the switch any time complaints arose!!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Unlike the female brain, which can perform numerous functions simultaneously, the male brain is a “mono-tasker.” Rally...I can drink Beer and Pee at the same time...lol

Ahaha- Comedy Central Drodolittle2

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

I was expecting something a little better.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I don´t know why people are complaining. The article is a bit flippish, but the psychological and physiological differences are actually known documented.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The only thing about the article that is interesting is that it seems -- does it really? - to need to be said. Generally Japanese women already know the advice herein given, a glimpse of the obvious. Japanese women generally speaking, control their men as they should using the these techniques and many others. That there are now magazine articles giving advice on how to do the ( that which was) obvious is the only news worthy part of this experience.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I wonder how many more milennia it will take for men and women, globally... to be able to talk to each other as singular creatures, each having his her own mind, and life experiences, instead of mindless meatballs on legs. No one can guess or be taught by anyone else...how any husband, or wife... thinks or feels. It is a dreadful cruelty, not a ridiculous unfunny joke... to think otherwise. Get to know one another ...talk to each other, as singular people with deepest feelings, before the chance is lost. It really isnt funny to be treated in such an ignorant unfeeling way.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I wonder how many more milennia it will take for men and women, globally... to be able to talk to each other as singular creatures, each having his her own mind, and life experiences, instead of mindless meatballs on legs. No one can guess or be taught by anyone else...how any husband, or wife... thinks or feels. It is a dreadful cruelty, not a ridiculous unfunny joke... to think otherwise. Get to know one another ...talk to each other, as singular people with deepest feelings, before the chance is lost. It really isnt funny to be treated in such an ignorant unfeeling way.z

Talk to each other. Engage in dialogue. If you do not dialogue you are ignorant. If you are not a dialogue singular person you are an ignorant, mindless meatball. Funny really is not funny. Funny ignoramus cruelty that steams setbacks without a care forever. Therefore we win. Dialogue for the win. But isn't dialogue meatball bad time? This ardent discontinuation engages laughter, food and friends nought.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Yes, dialogue definitely ...for an attempt to 'win'... That is, if 'win' in this case means, 'gain useful insight.' .However..no win is ever guaranteed, I feel sure. Western verbal exchanges are often challenges, or competetive, combative...full of shades of aggression, criticism, insult, implied 'wrongness', judgement or psychological diagnosis. The first/important part of useful dialogue is to really want to know how the other person feels about the topic. What is it ...in the topic, that is of interest to them. Nothing can be demanded, or required, in dialogue. Look for whatever it is, in the other... that they are glad and willing to give, share. Not what is required by rule or demand. Nothing, ever.. can be demanded. Husbands and wives might build many different kinds of pair bonds. I would not ever want to enter into one which was master/servant. Superior/inferior. Controller/controlled. etc. Complex but interesting. The bottom line is inevitably, two whole people, capable of separate, independent lives...who choose to resolve difficulties, discuss and share points of view... together. (some small quotes from 'Speaking Peace' ...by Marshall Rosenberg)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

As long as men have penises, they will be manipulated by women.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

I have been around the block and parking area for long time before I met my J-wife as she did during her travels across the globe.

There was no fooling each other, she tried but no taker. But at the time we were in our late tweens and had both traveled widely.

Might work with a less experienced person though, but I lostbmy fiancer at age 18 in a car accident in front of me, another girl I liked earlier died from medical complications.

Loosing my wife to breast cancer when son was 8yrs was ....

For the above poster sorry my penis don't and didn't make those decisions and never will.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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