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Sex dependency syndrome – no medication for that

18 Comments

Is sex addictive?

Yes and no, says Josei Seven (July 9) in effect. No, in the purely clinical sense. It’s mental rather than physiological. Deprive the body of the alcohol or narcotic it craves, once addiction has set in, and the body will claw you to pieces. A heightened desire for sex is less insistent – but insistent enough all the same to wreck lives and careers. The magazine cites examples known to everyone: former U.S. President Bill Clinton; golfer Tiger Woods and actor Michael Douglas.

“Sex dependency syndrome” – let’s call it that, if we’re not to call it addiction – hits men and women differently, explains psychiatrist Kina Takagi. In men it generally arises from a naturally strong libido, or perhaps simply a naturally strong and domineering personality. In women it’s more likely to reflect extreme vulnerability – stemming from childhood abuse, or bullying, or a sense of being unloved.

The distinction between addiction and dependency seems almost academic in the various cases Josei Seven covers. “B-san” (as the magazine calls him) has a fuzoku (sex industry) habit that  has driven his marriage to the brink of divorce – which wouldn’t matter so much if he didn’t love his wife, but he does. He’s 37. His fuzoku interests had declared themselves before marriage. “She chose to marry me anyway,” he says, “and I promised her: never again.”

For a time he kept his word. Then there came a passing affair with an office colleague. It reminded him of bygone pleasures beyond the range of married life, and back he drifted to fuzoku. “I couldn’t stop,” he says ruefully. A hole in the couple’s savings gave the game away. Maybe they’ll patch things up. Who know? At the moment, it doesn’t look good.

“C-san,” 39, describes herself as so shy she blushes when talking to strangers. That’s when she’s sober. A drink or two reveals a whole other side of her. At an office party she happened to be sitting next to a colleague she normally disliked. That was forgotten. Next stop: a love hotel. “I knew I’d regret it later,” she says. Next she found herself in bed with her married boss. Rumors buzzed. Everyone at work seemed to be giving her sidelong, knowing looks. 

She quit, found another job. Now, she says, she goes prowling in bars and neighborhoods where she’s not known – “I don’t want to have to change jobs again.”

“E-san,” 45, divorced her philandering husband and decided, “No more men!” It’s easy to say. Never particularly libidinous before, she suddenly became so, to the point she began visiting host clubs. There she “spent beyond my means,” and went into debt. “It can’t go on like this!” she confesses to Josei Seven.

Maybe it won’t, as host clubs become focal points of the COVID-19 pandemic. Other than that, there’s no medication for sex dependency syndrome, and the only treatment, Josei Seven hears from professional sources, is counseling, including group therapy. Sharing experiences, discovering you’re not alone – it’s a long road, and not a sure one, but the best there is. In the end, says psychiatrist Mitsuru Umeno, “it may be something you have to live with all your life.”

© Japan Today

©2020 GPlusMedia Inc.

18 Comments
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 In men it generally arises from a naturally strong libido, or perhaps simply a naturally strong and domineering personality. In women it’s more likely to reflect extreme vulnerability – stemming from childhood abuse, or bullying, or a sense of being unloved.

This is a clear indication Kina Takagi doesn't know what they are talking about!

7 ( +8 / -1 )

In the end, says psychiatrist Mitsuru Umeno, “it may be something you have to live with all your life.”

In other words, they don't have a blind clue what it is, or what actually caused it, so of course they don't have a hope in hell in curing it.

Psychiatry is a sham.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

In women it’s more likely to reflect extreme vulnerability – stemming from childhood abuse, or bullying, or a sense of being unloved.

I am genuinely astounded that women liking sex is always reduced to this. It should be something on everyone's minds. Why is a woman's sexual pleasure always bound up in previous pain and abuse?? It's absolutely criminal, not to mention idiotic, non-sensical and ludicrous. Where. on. earth, does. it. come. from?

15 ( +16 / -1 )

Everyone at work seemed to be giving her sidelong, knowing looks. 

Everyone?

Or just the other women?

2 ( +7 / -5 )

Personally, I think Japanese society could use a bit more sex. People here are so friggin repressed.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

I worked alongside an otherwise normal woman who had an uncontrolled sex habit. It eventually contributed to her losing a very good job. I think I will not live long enough to figure out how sex determines our actions.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

This appears to be an article demonizing the way we came into this world.And pointless to boot.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

If we destroy the myth that sex is unnatural, disruptive and transactional, people might start enjoying themselves for free.

Can't have that.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

My wife can take it or leave it.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

The medicalization of a normal human act. We were born with our junk for a reason.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Roxy Music had a hit long ago with 'Love Is the Drug'. It describes sex as addictive, saying 'get that buzz'. Just like most things, it can get to be an addiction and it can be destructive.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

What’s wrong being a sex addict . I am one of them and I enjoy it

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Sex in fine. Addiction, dependency, and abuse are not fine. Turning every desire into a disease requiring doctors and therapists is not fine either. If something is bad for you, don’t do it.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

In women it’s more likely to reflect extreme vulnerability – stemming from childhood abuse, or bullying, or a sense of being unloved.

I do not think there is actually any clinical evidence to support this and her (Takagi) only out is that she uses 'it's more likely' (double speak for 'perhaps, maybe, but I don't know'). In other countries such a position would be severely ridiculed as old fashioned and damaging. Here it gets reported as news.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

no medication for that

Porn and tissues?

Host clubs do not sell sex. They sell titillation and fantasy. Going to host clubs is not a sign of sex addiction, and may not even result in much sex. As in the story though, it will frequently end in the customer going into debt, because the clubs are designed to fleece them.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

looking at the number of sex-selling services, nearly available everywhere 24/7 and their huge roster of employees, its fair to say that japanese people are sex addicted.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Sex is normal life.

I would say sex addiction is a condition if it burns your sanity during work or your daily tasks. Otherwise it is very fine, and should be praised (seduction, romance, close relationships, quickies, strong kisses, etc)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I’m too busy trying to survive at the moment.

Sex is on the back burner...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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