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kuchikomi

Sex is going public, but decorum is fighting a losing battle

51 Comments

“This isn’t a love hotel!”

Pity young lovers. Can’t a man and a woman enjoy each other without courting public censure? Well, yes, they can – by enjoying each other out of the public eye. But passion takes us unawares in the damnedest times and places – at work, on trains, in department store fitting rooms, in classrooms – and so what can you do? Resist in the name of decorum? There is that option, and Josei Seven (Dec 18) clearly favors it, but decorum, it admits, is fighting a losing battle.

A woman we’ll call Akiko works – worked, rather – part-time at a supermarket. It irritated her that a fellow part-timer was often absent, forcing others to pick up her slack, without ever drawing a reprimand from the store manager. One afternoon Akiko, who is in her 40s, went to the stockroom to replenish the shelves, and saw, to her astonishment, the manager and the other part-timer, locked in a passionate embrace behind a mountain of stock. They didn’t see her, and she left without saying anything, but it rankled, until finally she went up to the manager and said, “I saw you! This is a workplace! What do you mean by carrying on in that manner?”

The manager caved in. He got down on his knees. He begged forgiveness. “Please, don’t tell anyone.”

Akiko promised not to. The manager has a wife and kids. She felt sorry for them. But, she tells Josei Seven, “I don’t want to work in a place like that. I quit.”

Sex is everywhere! Last month, in a “scoop” covered in a previous Kuchikomi, Shukan Post magazine found it in neighborhood koban police stations among on- and off-duty officers. Inspired by that story, and also by an incident that occurred two years ago in an Osaka elementary school classroom involving two teachers (who were pressured into resigning), Josei Seven launched its own investigation, which only confirmed it in its view that Eros is getting out of hand.

“Michiko” is in her 60s. Traveling by shinkansen from Tokyo to Osaka, she went to the toilet but found it occupied. She returned later. Still occupied. At that point she heard a woman cry out as though in pain. Alarmed, Michiko asked through the door, “Are you all right?” The woman assured her she was, and shortly afterwards Michiko saw the couple emerge. Feeling she’d been made a fool of, she indignantly reported the incident to the conductor, who gave the couple a stern talking-to. Red-faced, the couple apologized profusely, and the matter ended there – for them. For society as a whole, the tension between desire and restraint probably never will end.

“There is a growing indifference to other people nowadays,” says psychologist Masao Usui. “It doesn’t seem to matter any more that other people may be watching. You see couples lately kissing while stopped at red lights, without any sense of doing anything wrong.”

“Chieko” works in a department store. She was pleased to see a customer enter a fitting room one day with an armload of clothes to try on: “She’ll surely buy something.” The young woman’s husband joined her. “That’s nice,” Chieko thought – but time passed, and it was plain the intimacy had progressed beyond wardrobe selection. At last Chieko, her patience strained, called out, “Is there anything I can help you with?” The couple emerged, disheveled and out of breath but, report Chieko, quite unembarrassed.

Why don’t they do it at home or at a love hotel? the reader naturally wonders. It’s a good question. There must be reasons.

© Japan Today

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.

51 Comments
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Eros is getting out of hand.

Out of hand? In the land of porn?

5 ( +10 / -5 )

"Sex is everywhere!"

Quite a revelation.

"You see couples lately kissing while stopped at red lights, without any sense of doing anything wrong.”

Maybe because they're not doing anything wrong.

35 ( +38 / -3 )

Is it me or does this article seem pointless? People are showing affection in public? Good!

26 ( +27 / -1 )

Shukan Post magazine found it in neighborhood koban police stations among on- and off-duty officers

@livinginnagoya1983 It's great that people living in Japan are more comfortable with public affection!! But when you see officers of the criminal justice system using their paid time to fool around, it's much more serious than just 'showing your love'.

7 ( +8 / -1 )

Subway lines need clothing-optional cars but pink is already taken, what color to paint them?

Is "clear" a color? Panoramic windows?

2 ( +5 / -3 )

Ken and Sakura San are getting their groove on .. Not a problem freak flags up !

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Eros is getting out of hand

Bullship! There's far from enough.

9 ( +10 / -1 )

Oh no! We have an ECONOMIC RECESSION and young couples gushing with their hormones, phermones etc..can not be bothered to make it to the LOVE HOTELS?? Surprise! Surprise! People are people and sometimes when the call of the wild calls, things happen in the darnedest places! Shoughanai ne!

9 ( +9 / -0 )

Josei Seven is not news, just titilating entertainment. Not fit to line a birdcage with.

11 ( +11 / -0 )

Noticed how it's older women complaining about public sex....

9 ( +12 / -3 )

Hey, this nation needs more babies, right? Whether or not these trysts and acts of passion result in a baby, the act should be encouraged -- or at least not openly shamed. Yeah, hopefully people wait until they're in the proper place at the proper time, but 'where' and 'when' is not the same across the board.

8 ( +11 / -3 )

What a pile of tosh. You hardly even see people holding hands here. Personally, I find the garish adverts for knocking shops - oops, sorry I mean Cabaret Clubs - a clearer indication of moral collapse. But as they've been going for years, old women wouldn't be able to moan about them.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Haha, not to worry, Western society is undergoing "The Sexodus" and Japanese birthrate will soon catch up.

http://www.breitbart.com/Breitbart-London/2014/12/04/The-Sexodus-Part-1-The-Men-Giving-Up-On-Women-And-Checking-Out-Of-Society

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Smith

Hey, this nation needs more babies,

More babies means more demand for good and service. However unemployed couples should refrain from having babies until they are affordable.

Whether or not these trysts and acts of passion result in a baby, the act should be encouraged

Couples can have passion if there is no risks for others. However real life is different from movies. When I visited Berlin railway station, young couple hot and wild passion has distracted other commuters attentions. Many people bumped each other. I have almost fell down from stair after seeing real life love scene. Some people were too embarrassed and not willing to board the train. Some lost the interest for their study and work and recalling the memory of passionate couple action. It has lost the productivity for their employers.

hopefully people wait until they're in the proper place at the proper time,

In Japan, many married couple lacked the privacy due to limited space in their home. Love hotel is good place for their passion however it will cost money to them.

-4 ( +3 / -7 )

@Nathaw Maybe this is because I come from the land of puritanism, but I've never seen any "risks for others" from people having sex. AFAIAC, these couples need to be given medals for doing their baby-making duty and the prudish busy-bodies need to have the talking to about wasting the conductor's time.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

I pay the taxes on every payday, and so my tax money supports any newborns, I can surely and most certainly will keep doing my best to help an ally boost the population where others fail. The more the merrier I am. I love Japan especially the women. Gorgeous just gorgeous. It is nice to see couples with different expressions rather than the same monotone "dead" and empty faces everyday out in public.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Why are people so bothered about Japanese people and sex? Because the population numbers are falling? Is that enough to treat them like exhibits in some kind of weird Star Trek repopulation centre?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

what a load of rubbish. pointless article full of awful little insights into Japanese thinking and attitudes. Sex is everywhere in Japan if you want it (or you aren't some gimp who prefers rubber dolls or anime or manga or adolescents). now they just need to make more little Yukos and Taros and the country will be right as rain.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

....let love take over :) (are some people just jealous or what? I think kissing in public is much more lovely to see than a half clad anime girl in an advert...)

5 ( +5 / -0 )

You see couples lately kissing while stopped at red lights, without any sense of doing anything wrong.

That is the most ridiculous sentence I've ever read.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Next time I'll look especially hard on the train to see if I can catch some couples out in the morning rush hour....

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Hey, this nation needs more babies, right? Whether or not these trysts and acts of passion result in a baby, the act should be encouraged -- or at least not openly shamed.

Yeah, but if you let passion run rampant, then you'll eave even MORE couples who aren't mentally ready for parenthood and decide to "fix" their mistake by killing the child.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Love Hotels are the best. Really.

5 ( +6 / -1 )

“There is a growing indifference to other people nowadays,”

I should think that beats the hell out of the persecution people continue to face just because some jealous and/or holier than thou person could not avert their damned eyes and shut their damned mouth.

Oh, and by the way, holding hands and/or kissing, even passionately is NOT public or work place sex. Sex is sex, even if you have not had any for so long that you lost all sense of proportion and lost your damned mind too.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Akiko quit??! What a fool! She could have milked that manager for extra breaks and overtime in return for keeping schtum!

5 ( +7 / -2 )

I bet that incident on the shinkansen felt like a good rush.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

It did.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Men giving up on women? Not in MY life. As far as the story, far rather sex than violence.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Only in Japan?

On the tube (underground) in London, late at night, a couple started kissing. No one said anything. The couple continued. The kissing got more and more passionate until they were folking (mistype) on the floor of the carriage. Still no one said a word. When they had finished, the guy pulled out a cigarette and was about to light up, when a woman said, very politely, "Excuse me. It's no smoking in here."

It actually happened.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Love hotels are cheap enough, and of very high standards. Yes, they do wash the sheets, so feel free to use them.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

NathalieB: Akiko quit??! What a fool! She could have milked that manager for extra breaks and overtime in return for keeping schtum!

Once the manager is sure Akiko is the only one willing to expose him, with no one to back her up, he can make work there hell on earth for poor Akiko.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

She could have milked that manager for extra breaks and overtime in return for keeping schtum!

If you are joking sorry, but that is an extremely selfish and evil thing to do, to extort a person. Its a far, far, FAR greater sin than either extra-marital sex or hanky panky on a non-emergency job. Its even worse than both combined. Again, if you are joking sorry, but to seriously suggest that is sick and morally bereft. I know everyone thinks morals is 90 percent about sex these days, but that is hogwash. Most sexual morality is not remotely necessary and certainly not vital to society.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

I think decorum is a symptom more than a cause of something. Decorum joined with other moral values are in direct correlation with the importance and seriousness is given to the family in a certain society and the familys strenght itself, and it is easy provable; but the reason behind this correlation is complex because have to do with all the culture.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

NathalieB, your right most people would have milked the situation for everything that they could get, rightly or wrongly! possibly get the action on their phone, I would not recommend to try, or surgest blackmail in any way shape or form. but the power of suggestion what could happen IF his wife was to see it

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Take a trip to Paris

You will see so many couples kissing you ll understand it s nature s wonderful way of saying ahhh ohhhh

Then return to Tokyo and spread the message

By the way it will be easy Japanese are the ultimate FEMALES

Peter

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Gonna have to get the word out once more!- Make Love, Not WAR!!!!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I wouldn't want to have sex in a public bathroom and I think I wouldn't want to use a bathroom after a couple had been using it for sex. Just sayin.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I wouldn't want to have sex in a public bathroom ...

Most of 'em I don't even wanna pee in!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

True love is priceless no matter its expressive form, yet be prudent choosing wisely where to conduct it.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Japan has the least sex in the world http://www.japantoday.com/category/lifestyle/view/condom-maker-reveals-results-of-national-survey-on-sex overall but according to this article, a lot in public places? Why would this be? It reminds me of the Woody Allen sketch about a woman that can only reach orgasm in public places. http://rutube.ru/video/b5d2ebb46c3cda862d660a1b6ddd1075/ "It is the danger my friend. The fear of being caught."

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I suspect (but have no actual information) that while Japanese people overall have the least sex in the world, a core group of Japanese is having more sex than anyone else in the world.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

If I was asked about my sex life with wife around, I would say I hardly ever have sex. But that would not be the truth.

And that my friends is reason number one why I am suspect of those surveys. I have a sneaking suspicion that the people conducting them are not making any effort to put people in a situation where they feel they can be totally honest.

Reason number two is that the love hotels seem to be doing a great business. The amenities are pretty nice there, but, I don't think that is the prime reason so many people go there.

Next, Japanese have never been too ashamed to lie like a rug for the sake of appearances. Yes, even in the West we have this silly idea that sexlessness is akin to purity (though I see it exactly the opposite).

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Interesting article

'... to her astonishment, the manager and the other part-timer, locked in a passionate embrace behind a mountain of stock.'

This 'incident' in all probability crossed into the area of sexual harassment. The issue of who initiated the incident was not drawn out. Just that when the manager was confronted:

'The manager caved in. He got down on his knees. He begged forgiveness. 'Please, dont tell anyone'...'

Implying it was his job and family at stake. So who harassed who? So it is unclear who harassed who.

Was it the manager, the part timer, or the 40 year old?

But I will assume most readers could see this as a case of sexual harassment in the workplace and blame the manager. Which is an unfalsifiable assumption.

The rest of the article makes valid points about freedom of expression Highlighting the trend to take 'risks' increasing sexual excitement by breaking the law or community standards.

It must be said though, this trend is the tail end of sexual revolution started in the 1960s' in Europe and North America. This has swept through the world over decades and in some developed countries at a different rate.

It is good to be mindful procreation is the prime function of sex, as this has kept the human gene pool healthy and evolving for over many thousands of years.

However it is evolving values that allow freedom to use expression that are crucial to our species survival. Our communities biggest risk is the change in values effecting family structures. As these have the largest effect on following generations and it is decades before the results are know; with most in denial about the cause.

Because with the paradigm shift in morality has come narcissistic behaviour from both sexes. And that does not create well balanced and psychologically healthy generations for our future. No line of logic could support this trend is a anything but a self serving selfish act with disregard for others. But that can be all sex is for the narcissist. Its not that it happens it's how it is done. What is needed balance of respect for the easily offended that changes the intent.

From this perspective narcissism, which is the selfish disregard for others is our species greatest threat.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

This 'incident' in all probability crossed into the area of sexual harassment.

It might have been. But there is zero reason to say "in all probability". No dude. Sometimes people just get together at work. And I don't know why, but a lot of women find men's power to be sexy, so being the manager is a charm point, not a sure sign of abuse of power.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The predictable sensationalist style. Generalizations back up by anecdotes. This is crap writing but it sells.

There is nothing new about sex in public places. It certainly was not suddenly discovered by this journal. There is no proof offered that this is a rising (excuse me) problem.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Seems the neighborhood obaachans are having trouble minding their own business. I guess people have been sorting their trash correctly lately and so public affection has become their obsession.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Reason number two is that the love hotels seem to be doing a great business. The amenities are pretty nice there, but, I don't think that is the prime reason so many people go there.

If I recall correctly, that survey that said Japanese people are having the least sex was asking about sex between spouses. A lot of people going to love hotels are going for action 'on the side'. So I wonder if Japanese people may be having the least sex with their spouses, but not the least overall if you count sex with people other than their spouses. Half the dramas on TV seem to be about an affair of some sort.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

if you do you don't want to see people kissing just turn the other way. Lovemakes the world go 'round.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I dunno, I think public sex is bad manners no matter the country. It's nearly as offensive as dropping your pants and taking a poo in a public place other than a toilet.!And even if it's perfectly consensual keep it out of the workplace...please...just too awkward.

Kissing is not sex though, geez.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

There are two side every story, firstly please don't judge me as I am western while signs are encouging that japanese are starting have bite more sex but down side they having it at wrong time. So let hope this will increase the birthrates

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Anyone who honestly doesn't understand why people are doing this, are entirely sexually inhibited.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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