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Split couples getting back together again as virus makes it hard to meet new people

14 Comments

COVID-19 has shattered a lot of lives, livelihoods and relationships. It’s also mended a few. When pursuit of the new becomes impossible, why not return to the old? That’s what a lot of broken couples are doing these days, says Spa! (Nov 3) – getting back together again.

Why should that be? A survey the magazine conducted of 100 people in that situation shows 47 answering, “Because getting in touch is easy.” You have the contact information; you phone or dash off a note: “Are you okay?” – and it takes off from there; not always, but sometimes. The second most frequent answer, given by 43 (multiple answers are permitted), is, “Because I wanted to have sex with someone.”

“Fumiya Kitsuki” (a pseudonym) is a 36-year-old systems engineer. He and his ex-girlfriend split up a year ago and hadn’t spoken since. Then one night she called: “How are you?” They made small talk, and then she admitted she had a problem. She was teleworking from home on an office computer, which didn’t seem to function properly. Could he help?

“Well,” he said, “not over the phone…”

“Could you come over?”

The problem was a minor one. Rather enjoying the situation, he made the adjustments take longer than necessary. The job done, she brought out some wine: “Here’s to you!” Then: “It’s late, you may as well stay over.”

“We now see each other once a week,” Kitsuki tells Spa!. For now, he says, there’s no talk of resuming their former relationship. It may happen, it may not.

“Yuichi Ozawa” is a 38-year-old delivery truck driver. His line of work is one of the few that are thriving. The virus is stimulating online shopping, and delivery is nonstop. Ozawa and his wife divorced a year ago. They just weren’t getting along.

A failed marriage is no fun, but being alone is a cheerless solution, Ozawa found. You come home from an exhausting day’s work – he describes his employer as a “black company,” his boss as a “power harasser,” and his overtime work as forced and unpaid – to a dark empty house and a convenience store bento for dinner. There must be a better way – or maybe not, when the search for companionship is thwarted at every turn by a raging pandemic.

One night in April he found a note in his Line message app mail box – from his ex-wife. “Are you okay?” She, it turned out, was not. The man she was living with was “no good. Can you put me up tonight?” She came over in tears. “I felt an upsurge of affection for her,” Ozawa tells Spa!. She went back next day to her “no-good” lover, but came again, and soon the ex-couple were spending two or three nights a week together. “You seem much gentler now than you used to be,” she told him.

In summer her situation took a turn for the worse. She’d been doing temporary office work but lost her job. “Can I come back?”

Nothing has been settled, but events seem headed in that direction. “I love her again,” says Ozawa. “I want to help her financially. I’m sick of living alone. If we can help each other, getting back together again may not be a bad choice.”

© Japan Today

©2020 GPlusMedia Inc.

14 Comments
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Ouch. The word unsustainable springs to mind.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Guys, dont be so stupid!! Dont fall for these traps from your ex's!!

“We now see each other once a week,” Kitsuki tells Spa!. For now, he says, there’s no talk of resuming their former relationship. It may happen, it may not.

Do FWB but do NOT let it escalate or you will repeat the past!

One night in April he found a note in his Line message app mail box – from his ex-wife. “Are you okay?” She, it turned out, was not. The man she was living with was “no good. Can you put me up tonight?” She came over in tears. “I felt an upsurge of affection for her,” Ozawa tells Spa!. She went back next day to her “no-good” lover, but came again, and soon the ex-couple were spending two or three nights a week together. “You seem much gentler now than you used to be,” she told him.

In summer her situation took a turn for the worse. She’d been doing temporary office work but lost her job. “Can I come back?”

A classic.....man dont fall for this one, notice how when men lose their job, become sick their wives often DITCH them!! And how ex GFs leave you for the Bad Boys but when things go south or something they come crawling back, DO NOT let then in or you will get what you deserve.

Dont to stupid with regards to ex's!!!

7 ( +10 / -3 )

There is usually a reason why you break up. Under different circumstances it may be fine to give it a second try. If things end on good terms because it just didn't work, there was no bad blood and you had the time to find a solution for the issue? Yes, then I think it's absolutely fine. But just getting back together after you've not even talked with each other for a year just because it seems convenient? What makes you think that things will be different this time around? Why would you suddenly get along when that wasn't the case before and you never talked about it prior to and after breaking up? What when the whole situation is over? Will things just magically start working out and you'll stay together?

To me that Ozawa guy seems like a convenient tool for his ex. She can get away from her current boyfriend (who is no good now for whatever reason) and gain someone who'll help her financially when she lost her job. It would be a different story were she financially independent and they actually worked things out prior to her coming back but with the current situation that just seems way too convenient...

2 ( +3 / -1 )

And how ex GFs leave you for the Bad Boys but when things go south or something they come crawling back, DO NOT let then in or you will get what you deserve.

Unless she repents and pleases him better and regularly in the bedroom. I suggest probation because I believe in redemption.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

 You come home from an exhausting day’s work – he describes his employer as a “black company,” his boss as a “power harasser,” and his overtime work as forced and unpaid –

That was my experience when I worked for a Trucking Company in Kawaguchi YEARS ago. I guess driving and delivering is a very thankless job

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Seems like Ozawa's wife was getting the best of both worlds. What she did not get from her lover she got from her ex-husband that's why she kept going back and forth. There is more to this story, perhaps the lover worked nights and she used that as an excuse.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Unless she repents and pleases him better and regularly in the bedroom. I suggest probation because I believe in redemption.

Or: Unless he repents and shows his respect and appreciation for her in ways that count (such as sharing responsibility for domestic duties, offering a foot or back rub without expectations of benefits, listening to her concerns or going out into restorative nature or an onsen together regularly--use your imagination). I suggest an attitude adjustment because I can predict that expecting her to add pleasure in the bedroom to her current list of domestic burdens is the easiest way to turn her off. Fair warning.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

Covid's in the air . . . bringing sad lovers . . . closer than they dare . . . da-da-di-da-da

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Seems like Ozawa's wife was getting the best of both worlds. What she did not get from her lover she got from her ex-husband that's why she kept going back and forth. There is more to this story, perhaps the lover worked nights and she used that as an excuse.

Yeah, she is monkey branching for sure, women seldom dump a guy until next the guy(s) are lined up, female nature on display in this blurb!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

C-ant.

O-ne more day.

V-ision.

-In a-

D-ivorce.

COVID...

This Virus has brought out the worst in people and myself included.

Guilty as changed. Recently I have been a better man.

In my 7 month of separation. All I want. Is to have my family back with me and happy.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

@philly, your comments are from the male Book of Beta, a sad and degrading place to be. Also the article gives two examples of women slimking back so why should the man make amends?

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

@ Reckless, I have no idea what the male Book of Beta is.

I am in a gloriously happy, strong and autonomous place, and I know of what I speak.

If women are slinking back it's likely out of fear of being alone rather than any misdemeanor on their part. It takes two and both have to give and take to succeed in a marriage.

But women (most especially in Japan) are culturally conditioned to think that they are of no worth whatsoever without a man, and that they'd better snag one and keep him before they're (stale) 25. And more often than not, Japanese men relate to women as the character Botchan does. From a point of male privilege and emotional neglect while expecting service and loyalty.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

@philly, your comments are from the male Book of Beta

If I recall correctly, you went through a horrible divorce did you not?

I suspect the above attitude probably played a good part in that. Women don't like men who quote from "the book of beta".

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Good luck. Don't ever put a woman on a pedestal (except for Grandma), better to become a monk.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

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