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kuchikomi

Thanks, honey -- put it on my AMEX card

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What's that you say? Wives charging their husbands for basic services --- like preparing a boxed lunch to take to the office or dispensing a haircut? Or when making love??

Well, think of them as business-to-business transactions, advises Aera (Aug 3).

"If it helps bring order to a chaotic household, something may change in husband-wife relationships as well," observes a 42-year-old gent identified only as Kimura, who began paying his wife 400 yen to make him an "obento" to carry daily to the office. Considering he receives 50,000 per month for pocket money, taking his own lunch translates into daily savings of about 500 yen.

A 45-year-old chap named Kobayashi pays his better half to trim his hair. "You pay your barber 3,000 yen; I'll do it for 1,000," she proposed. Now, of two monthly trips to the barber shop for a total outlay of 6,000 yen, he now pays 2,000 yen and pockets the remaining 4,000.

More important, the sessions have fostered "skinship" between partners, who look forward to a spirited conversation while she provides him with a skilled clipping.

"It's a win-win situation for both parties," says Ryosuke Mizuno, author of a book that examines the value of tasks performed by wives. Which, he says, take on even greater importance in the current era of price deflation.

"Think of them as B-to-B services between companies," Mizuno counsels. "Adopting this system is a good idea for bolstering the household budget by cutting down on expenditures outside the home."

A freelance photographer named Maeda found himself with a somewhat different problem. After the birth of the couple's first child, Mrs Maeda began giving her hubby a wide berth at bedtime. Smarting over this denial of conjugal rights, one evening he blurted out his complaint.

Her response was surprising: "There's a comedienne in Osaka who collects 10,000 yen from her husband every time they have sex," she told him.

"I can pay 5,000," he retorted.

They decided that the stipend should be paid prior to snuggling in bed. He passed her a bank note. She blushed, but accepted it. "Her expression was really endearing," Maeda recalls fondly.

She uses the income from their marital trysts to purchase sexy underwear. Previously, she'd saved away her earnings for a family trip to Taiwan, which helped to serve as confirmation of their deep affection.

"I realized this also demonstrates how money can be swapped for love," Maeda tells the magazine.

In an impromptu survey of 20 married women, Aera's reporter asked, "If your husband were cheating on you, how much would you accept per month not to divorce him?"

Full-time housewives replied they would eschew divorce if they received between 270,000 to 300,000 yen. For those with jobs, the minimum figure was around 1 million yen per month.

"If couples are in a mutually trusting relationship, there's nothing wrong with having their having fun engaging in monetary dealings," says counselor Rieko Saigo. "But using money to test forbearance will wreck the marriage."

© Japan Today

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.

70 Comments
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How silly. Marriage has become a sham. The day I pay my spouse for anything will be the day after I die. In other words, only for my burial. Collecting money for sex from your spouse? I'd pay a hooker first. The people in this story are morons. Money is NOT the most important thing. Society is going down the drain fast.

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How much for a half and half?

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let me get this straight: the dude works 12 hours a day, and gives his salary to the wife, who stays home watching TV, when she's not in Ginza shopping. out of those money, she gives him a monthly allowance of 50,000. to save on those money, then he has to pay her for some basic services besides watching TV, such as cooking. and some people find this normal! the great finale is the most delicious: "he can *** around if he gives me enough money"

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I know a guy who gives his wife 500 yen every day she gets up before 7.

Oh, and nice plug for Amex!

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Nothing new here. Some years ago the J news was reporting payments for sex among married couples. A jar beside the bed, and the one who needs the sex puts the money in first.

My Japanese wife has been asking me to pay for more and more things. I won't list them all here, but I guess she gets her bright ideas from rolling around watching TV all day.

Is that fair, you ask? I dunno...

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For 50 bucks I get to treat my wife like a whore? Ummm... Ok.

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Holy Jeebus I read this thinking it was a joke!! I seriously chuckled a few times, expecting to find a link at the bottom to the original Onion article. And to think I was considering proposing to my Japanese GF soon...this is seriously frightening. What if the neighbor can afford to pay more than I can?? This image of Japanese wives being money-leeching whores cannot be a good one.

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This money for services idea really cheapens the concept of marriage, and ultimately will lower a person's self image. The whole purpose of intimacy is to have not only sexual relations as a couple by giving yourselves to each other, but also on an emotional level which cannot be purchased. Very sad state of affairs.

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This article is sick and infuriating.

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Yeah thats kinda crazy, could have a bidding war for your own wife? Then once they get used to getting money from you, then they move on to getting money from someone else? bad idea to start down that road! (Well unless you dont mind the wifey picking up some spare cash instead of watching tv all day...)

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Come on Jladies, can you direct your business and material minds towards something proper. You can think of a way to improve the economic state of the country, and maybe look after your elderly citizens? Marriage union is not a business contract. It means your security as well...

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Ok then, how much can I charge my wife for getting up every morning and spending long hours at work??

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And if we're going to be charged for sex, well the lady living opposite is well worth bidding for....

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Wow are the guys such pushovers? This is truly a sad state of affairs.

If i were in their position i would start haggling over talking and cuddling time. Wait.... you want me to come with you shopping?..extra 1000 yen. They need to remember woman want things too...

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I think that people who cannot make transactions without money deserve all the taxes and user fees that can be assigned to them.

Decent people who respect their spouse and marital vows = pretax.

Idiots who worship money and require incentives and compensation = after tax.

Then let's see who comes out ahead.

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Set your rate cards now. Late payment penalties. No discounts, cash only. Talking to her is the most expensive service I offer. This message has just cost me Y300. You guys will charge me Y300 for reading it. We're even.

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This is idiotic. First of all most of these wives only have a roof over their heads, clothing to wear and food because these tired worn out salarymen work themselves to death to support her. So this deal seams unreasonable for the guy to then pay for niceties that the stay at home partner should consider doing in thanks for all his hard work anyway.

Second. The last thing Japan needs is another paid relationship between men and women. Does nothing mean anything beyond money in Japan? This is shallow and lacks any consideration for love and mutual care between partners.

If I asked my partner to use her web skills to develop a site for me I would pay her. But we do things for each other at home for free as we are partners. She has more time at home than I do so she takes care of a lot of the daily things. I make more income so I pay the majority of our costs. And we do things like back rubs, laundry, helping each other with little things because we care about each other.

If your partner wants pay to do even simple things or to be romantic with you, it is time to give him or her their walking papers or a summary dump and find someone with a heart not made of only money.

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Ha ha ha! In my opinion, if a woman, wife or not, expects to be paid for sleeping with her husband, it is tantamount to prostitution. I find being paid for making bentos and haircuts hilarious. If my wife ever suggested that, I'd give her one option - the door.

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And to think I was considering proposing to my Japanese GF soon...this is seriously frightening

Don't do it, man!

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I guess this also means all women would potentially become domestic hostesses. You can pay for a drink, for dinner, for after dinner activities, for laundy, for someone to snuggle with.

Sick, backwards and yet another sign of the decay that is rotting Japan from the inside out.

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I think it is a little game to them, and seen in a certain light it appears harmless enough. It respects the marriage, but it enables the non-salaried housewife to have a source of income for those ladies' lunches that they get invited to. It can also save the husband paying more outside, and keep his money within the family. Two birds with one stone.

If I want to order a Daiko taxi back from drinking it will cost me 5,000 yen, but the wife says she will wake up and drive the car to come and get me at any hour for 2,000. She seems eager to do it. If the community orders me to clean the ditches on a Sunday or pay a 4,500 yen fine, she says she will clean the ditches if I give her the money instead of wasting it on a community fine to the local Cho-nai-kai.

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nandakandamanda:

but the wife says she will wake up and drive the car to come and get me at any hour for 2,000

This is a genuine question - how can you consider it reasonable for your wife to ask to be paid to help you out? Will she not do it for free? I know I would be more than willing to help my wife for free, and would be gobsmacked if she expected me to pay her for anything.

I earn a living to support my family, she has free access to money. Performing monetary transactions for anything seems to devalue and sour the whole concept of marriage, from my point of view.

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I think nandakanda has the right idea. It's a kind of game, pretty harmless and a good way of keeping in the family money that would otherwise flow out. And it kinda recognises the contribution being made by the partner providing the 'service', whether it's getting up extra-early to make a bento or cleaning ditches on a Sunday.

Paying for sex is different, though; if that involves money that would otherwise be spent outside, you've got a problem.

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And it kinda recognises the contribution being made by the partner providing the 'service', whether it's getting up extra-early to make a bento or cleaning ditches on a Sunday.

I provide a service to my family, 60 hours a week, 50 weeks of the year, and I don't ask for anything specifically in return.

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"You pay your barber 3,000 yen; I’ll do it for 1,000,” she proposed. Now, of two monthly trips to the barber shop for a total outlay of 6,000 yen, he now pays 2,000 yen and pockets the remaining 4,000

...Here's an idea: Wife cuts husband's hair for free, and they pocket 6,000 yen!

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I provide a service to my family, 60 hours a week, 50 weeks of the year

Is that all? 3000 hours out of 8760 hours? slacker!

:-)

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I have been paying my sweetie for sex for years... any guy that thinks he gets it for free is just fooling himself. Try giving her a 5000 yen bill n see if it makes a difference, knowing jbirds, I bet most would be surprised at the sudden service ; )

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abromofo "but the wife says she will wake up and drive the car to come and get me at any hour for 2,000..."

This is a genuine question - how can you consider it reasonable for your wife to ask to be paid to help you out? Will she not do it for free?"

Don't get me wrong here. I never said that I consider it reasonable, just that things can be seen from her point of view. She is married to me but has no source of income apart from what she takes from the housekeeping each month. She comes from a rich family and never wanted for anything. She likes to have her own spending money for herself, apart from whatever can be justified as general household money.

Naturally I would drive any of my family anywhere for free and would never dream of taking money for it, but in recent years she has begun to actively ask for taxi fees, etc., whether here in Japan or over in the old country. What irritates me more is her refusal to drive me to the garage to get my car back. How can she let me take public transport when she knows I have to take three different buses just to get there. In the family car it would take fifteen or twenty minutes. By bus well over an hour, with the connections working.

What I am saying is that there is a sort of logic to it, as Cleo admits above, within the Japanese context and in the present economic climate.

PS In my case I am not discussing sex here, by the way, just other stuff around the house.

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nandakandamanda:

Mmmm OK, I can kinda see what the situation is.

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This article seems like a lot of things here,fake...

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This is one of the dumbest, if not the dumbest article I've ever read.

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Ditto with Sarge.

If my woman went after something like this, I'd pick her up by her collar and do one of those cartoon moments where I kick her butt out the door and lock it.

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Kimura, Koybayashi, Ryosuke... I think they're the ones wearin' the pantystockin's in their marriages.

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I wonder if the income is taxable :) Oh no! Don't put evil thoughts into the tax man!

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Wonderfully dumb. Why even get married then? There's no love or partnership in this way of thinking.

Should the husband charge her for the right to live in the house he is paying for? Or split the utilities out of the income she is taking?

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With Sarge on this one, that happens rarely. Marriage is not about charging for services. If couples are at that level in their marriages then there are some serious problems.

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They say money cant buy you happiness... But Itll pay for the search!

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you should always take the kuchikomi section with a dump truck of salt

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Why be married to someone you not only pay for room and food and car, but then have to pay for sex or for her packing you a lunch as well? Cheaper not to be married.

aw

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This type of relationship is not a marriage, it is a business arrangement, and not a very good one at that.

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If you think marriage isn't a business contract wait till you got a divorce.

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Money makes the world go round, money , money , money!! Sickening isn't it. Japan sinks to even lower depths, my god what next???

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Japanese magazines seem to be willing to take an "anything goes" approach to what they will print, as long as it doesn't involve anything that reflects on serious social issues. Aera is put out by one of the big three newspapers, the Asahi, so it's not for lack of reporting depth.

Late last night I saw a show on NHK that was so lowbrow, vulgar and childish I thought the readout was broken on my cable decoder. (Based on the program contents I was certain it should have read 4, 6 or 8.) So if there's any conclusion to be made from all this, it's that the dumbing down process is by no means confined to any one type of media. They've all given up on their audiences and will henceforth convey what was once the preserve of pink TV and the tabloids.

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Any relationship is a transaction, whether exchanging a financial consideration or goods in kind. When the mood for making love to a beautiful woman takes me, food made with the only freshest ingredients, Belgian chocolates and fines wines are always on offer. But, as a dealer in fine pre owned carraiges I understand the value of a pound. If cash is required I always push for extra service. Alas Mrs Swiss never understood.

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Sarge <--- Hit the nail on the head. If my wife asked for money for sex, my response would probably be "Why would I pay you for something im entitled to (by law, yes, go look it up, no sex from wife = grounds for divorce in husbands favor) rather than paying a younger girl willing to do things you wont?"

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SwissToni

The words of a realist. There is a saying in Japan: Tada yori takai mono nai Roughly translated as "Nothing is more expensive than for free."

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bizarre!

Would it work the other way? Would the wife be prepared to pay for hubby to do the washing up or cleaning? I think not!!!

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I know a lady who worked and her husband was at home, so I spose sometimes yes. Money is one of 'the' issues of a couple. If there is a lot, it is hard to see the love, and if there isnt much, it gets dirty. Anyway for the couple to be able to communicate about it, and especially if it is fun, is good enough for me. Fun article.

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tigris, I think it rather says "there's nothing cheaper than free"

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No thanks honey... predictable behavior in sexless marriage Japan.

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Beelzebub,

Japanese magazines seem to be willing to take an "anything goes" approach to what they will print, as long as it doesn't involve anything that reflects on serious social issues.

I guess you don't actually read Japanese, but just the drivel that gets translated for entertainment purposes.

Learn Japanese, then let us know what you think of the thousands of political magazines out there.

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There’s a comedienne in Osaka who collects 10,000 yen from her husband every time they have sex

Good for her. But no guy should fall for this. Take what's yours, by force if need be.

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I have to agree with a lot of posters here, there's no way this article can be considered anything other than your classic tabloid trash, I certainly doubt it's the norm. in any marriage to pay for sex. I can't really imagine any man of any nationality being willing to pay for sex from his own wife, nor can I imagine any woman sticking around in a marriage where the only thing that gets her off is the thought of a payout after. I know I would never ask someone for money afterwards, but then again, I'm not a prostitute. Ive met a lot of Japanese men, women and couples who conform to the sexless marriage stereotype, but this pay to play stuff is news to me.

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tigris, I think it rather says "there's nothing cheaper than free"

I think you should check on your Japanese. Just in case you don't read Japanese:

One of many catchphrases that has turned into a proverb is tada yori takai mono wa nai. Literally this translates as "Nothing is more expensive than something that's free." In other words, "There's no such thing as a free lunch."

http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/ek20070522a1.html Please scroll to the end of the article.

Take what's yours, by force if need be.

Wow. That's rape, plain and simple.

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Wow. That's rape, plain and simple.

Not if it's your wife, or girlfriend.

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TokyoHustla

Not if it's your wife, or girlfriend.

Spousal rape is also called marital [...]. It is a crime in most parts of the Western world. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spousal_rape

Moderator: All readers back on topic please.

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If the guy has to pay 5000 yen each time he has sex with his wife, sooner or later he will come to the conclusion that if he has to buy his chocolate, he can have a different flavor every time.

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I know some working mothers who would like to do the exact opposite.

Some Japanese hubbies are all work, so it's up to the mothers who are also working full time, to do all the housework.

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35,000 yen a week for sex? I hope he's got a decent income, I certainly couldnt afford that.

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"tigris, I think it rather says "there's nothing cheaper than free"" Yeah, sorry dude, you got that one wrong, Nothing is more expensive than free. Refers to all the extra conditions that come with free things, making it more expensive than if youd actually paid for it.....

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So that is how partnerships work in Japan. Love, respect and dignity.

To the examples, a decent 1000 Yen haircut? available in the "cut only" barbershops (ex. one in Tokyo station), sex for 10.000 Yen? go to the Kawasaki boots; most gorgeous Korean and Japanese you can imagine. Bento for 400 Yen? Do it yourself!

And what is this tradition of giving the husband pocket money? Is there a connection between treating grown up men like kids, with the phenomena of grown up men read sex mangas, playing computer games, making photos from girls underwear ...

The brain is strange thing ... garbage in garbage out.

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Although I find the idea of this appalling, If my wife were to charge me for a bento or cleaning the house or for sex, I'd pay it, with zero complaint. I would pay every cent she asked for and throw in tips for good service to boot.

And at the end of the month, she would be presented with a bill for taxi services (I mostly drive), rent, food, utilities and a user's fee for using the stuff bought from the money made from my salary.

I'm thinking the whole billing thing wouldn't last too long after that.

Also, a friend of mine living here in the states just got a divorce and he hired a maid service and for $40 U.S., he said his house was jaw-droppingly clean. He hires her twice a month.

If my wife presented me a bill for house cleaning that was greater than the price of a maid, she might find herself in some trouble.

Taka

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My wife controls my salary anyway so I already "pay" for everything I guess!

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i'd do anything (reasonable) for my man for free and with pleasure. i'd be offended if he paid me. that's because we love each other. i dunno about the couple in the article, do they even love each other?

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If you have to pay your wife for sex, that's just sad. True, men shouldn't take their wives for granted, and maybe paying them to make a bento would make them feel more appreciated. But lots of girls quit their jobs after they get married, and are living for free anyway with the guy. While he's out working to pay for the apartment, the least she could do is keep it clean and not complain about it.

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Another good example of how badly the Japanese ordinary human soul is rotting thanks to the western "allies".

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Another good example of how badly the Japanese ordinary human soul is rotting thanks to the western "allies".

Yeah right, that's where they got the idea from...

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This was a really weird article that made me shiver... I thank goodness my wife and I love each other and do things to help one another out of joy. The people in this article sound very twisted.

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i'd do anything (reasonable) for my man for free and with pleasure. i'd be offended if he paid me. that's because we love each other. i dunno about the couple in the article, do they even love each other?

Congratulations on your wedding. Where are you going for your honeymoon?

Each poster should state how long they've been married. Then we can put their comments in perspective.

I've been married eight years and am not quite to the point where I'd pay for sexual services yet. However, I have noticed my wife slacking off in the kitchen. I'd be willing to pay for some cooking lessons and provide some incentive for her to make food other than Japanese food.

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Paying for sex from your wife is ridiculous. If they do take them money then they're just a step above a prostitute. I understand if it's just some sort of sex game but doing it with seriousness is disgusting.

Taka313 good comment about your monthly bill for food and taxi.

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