An enduring domestic puzzle is the wide gulf separating movie and fiction sex from real sex. Why does marital passion spend itself so quickly? Actually, it doesn’t, says Shukan Post (June 18-25). If only husbands knew what their wives are really thinking.
The magazine surveys 100 wives in an effort to find out. And the gist of their secret thoughts seems to be that their passion is by no means exhausted – if only their husbands knew how to tap it.
But it’s such a rushed, pressurized world out there that the bedroom is no longer the carefree sanctuary it supposedly once was, though perhaps not in living memory. The measurable aspects of sex, at any rate, are steadily shrinking – to “a few times a year” for 21 respondents, and a rushed 20 minutes or less at a time for 20, versus five who attain release from mundane care as often as two or three times a week, and seven who manage to keep it at bay for 60 minutes or more at a time.
When asked if sex with their husbands satisfies them, 64 of the 100 reply “I suppose so,” which sounds like resignation rather than satisfaction, a chilly contrast to the mere three claiming to be “very satisfied.”
Perhaps this reflects mature thinking in an aging nation that has outgrown its illusions. “If you had the chance,” asks Shukan Post, “would you want to start your life over again with a man other than your husband?” No thanks, say 52 respondents, versus 26 who say they would. A 46-year-old woman who answered no probably speaks for many when she adds, “However good a man you marry, once 10 years have gone by after the birth of children, you find you’ve arrived at the same point in life anyway.”
Forty-nine have thought at one time or another of divorce, as against 48 who have not. Legal status aside, “Do you still think of your husband as a man?” the magazine asks, to which one wife among the 34 who answer no says, “More as a male dog than as a man.”
And yet – surprisingly, given the generally negative mood – 71 affirm they still love their husbands. Sexual incompatibility notwithstanding, says a 50-year-old wife, “there’s still a lot of love and affection between us.”
It’s good that love and affection can survive the awful pounding life gives it.© Japan Today