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10 simple ways to ruin a Japanese wife’s day

122 Comments
By Casey Baseel

There’s a saying in Japan that you should have both eyes open before you decide to get married, and one eye shut after you walk down the aisle. It’s sound advice, as you definitely need to know what you’re getting into before you pledge to share your life with someone. At the same time, spending every day together is bound to bring to light the little imperfections that people naturally have, and it’s important not to get too worked up over them.

Of course, the inevitable result of trying to keep one eye perpetually closed is a wicked eye-cramp, so eventually you’re going to have to open it back up and notice something about your partner that drives you up the wall. Japanese firm Neo Marketing recently surveyed married women on the things their husbands do that they just can’t overlook.

200 women were presented with a list of unpleasant things husbands do, then asked which, if any, they could let slide. It’s worth noting that the study was focused on everyday annoyances, so major, home-wrecking transgressions like “has a mistress,” “lost our savings betting on a race horse,” and “lost our savings betting on a race horse (which is also his mistress),” were not included.

We’ve listed the top 10 pet peeves below, with the percentage of wives who cited them as a problem.

10. Not separating trash – 32.5%

Japan’s got a pretty complicated system of trash pickups, which vary by city. With different days to put out burnable garbage, cans, glass, hard plastic, and softer PET plastic, some guys decide they can’t be bothered to sort it all out and just dump everything into the same trash bag, leaving their exasperated, more eco-conscious wives to do the literal dirty work for them.

9. Not putting the toilet seat down – 33.5%

Some guidebooks like to play up the differences between Japanese and Western culture, describing the former as opaque and mysterious. But in reality, some things annoy women regardless of national origin, like falling into the toilet bowl because their guy couldn’t take the half-second to flip the seat back down. This is even more inconsiderate if you’re dealing with a high-end Japanese toilet that has a motorized seat that goes back down with the push of a button.

8. Not closing the front door – 33.5%

Sure, as kids we’ve all rushed out the door without shutting it behind us, and we usually had a perfectly good reason.

We’re not sure why so many full-grown Japanese men apparently have the same problem, though.

7. Poor conversation skills during mealtimes – 37.5%

Many wives complained that during meals at home, their husbands were more interested in reading the paper, watching TV, or playing with their smartphone than in having an actual conversation together. We understand their frustration, particularly with the cads who are distracted by television or the paper, but ask that they cut their husbands a little slack if they occasionally slip a look at their smartphone.

6. Not putting trash into the trash bin – 43.5%

As we mentioned, trash in Japan gets sorted into several different categories, and so most homes have multiple bins in them. Some guys have the mental wherewithal to realize that improperly sorting the trash will bug their wives, but then apply a healthy dose of misguided logic to come to the conclusion that the best way to avoid this problem is by just leaving their trash lying around the house.

5. Not arranging shoes neatly – 50%

A uniquely Japanese headache, half of wives are bothered by their husbands’ inability to nicely arrange their footwear, which are to be removed in the entryway before setting foot in the rest of the home. Usually there’s a cabinet to place your shoes in, but if not, proper manners dictate that they should be swung around with the toes pointing towards the door, side by side, with laces tucked inside.

4. “Leaving a noticeable mess around the toilet” – 55%

In other words, pee. Remember guys, if your wife is nice enough to send you off with a “Have fun!” when you go out for a half-dozen Ebisus with the boys, when you come home, the least you can do is remember the two cardinal rules of inebriated defecation: lights on, and use both hands.

3. Not putting things away – 57%

Japanese homes tend to be small, and rooms often have to serve dual purposes. It’s hard to bring in a folding table to eat on or a futon to sleep in if there’s a bunch of junk strewn across the floor.

2. Not turning off lights – 58%

Following the energy crisis that hit Japan after the earthquake and tsunami of 2011, there’s been a huge push for people to not waste electricity. This one isn’t even that hard, since most Japanese lighting is ceiling mounted and comes with a handy cord you can yank to turn off.

1. Leaving dirty laundry lying around – 60%

We understand. Most white-collar jobs for men in Japan require workers to wear a suit and tie, and in the sweltering heat and humidity of a Japanese summer, the first thing you want to do when you get home is peel it all off. In the winter, there’s the need to wear multiple layers to stave off the cold, and after a long day at the office, you might not want to take the time to toss a half-dozen articles of clothing in the laundry hamper. In spring and fall, you might just be plain lazy. That said, your wife probably doesn’t appreciate your personal musk filling the apartment. Particularly if your home is traditionally furnished with tatami-reed floors that you sit on, she shouldn’t have to be seated next to your damp, sweaty Uniqlo boxers.

Frankly, we’re amazed that 40% of the women surveyed don’t have a problem with this.

Source: Yahoo! Japan

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Oh, Japan, You Make Me So Mad Sometimes! -- Men Who Disappoint at Group Blind Dates; 9 Types That Shouldn’t Even Bother Showing up -- Too Lazy to Clean? Remote Control Mops and Trash Cans are Here to Help

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122 Comments
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Tell her you don't like her mother, and that you want an equal role in raising your children.

27 ( +33 / -6 )

Not a single one of those are a problem in our house except me, not her, complaining about lights being left on (she says her Father also complains about the same thing).

There has to be a follow up on the men's side. Top of the list for me would be the wife throwing perfectly good food out the moment it reaches it's best before date.

11 ( +14 / -3 )

I can see why these are annoying, in any living relationship (family, roommates, guests, whoever). They all reek of "Meh, I can't be bothered, someone else will do it later anyway..."

15 ( +15 / -0 )

Im guilty of only 1 thing on this list and that is number 7. Then again, the missus is a fantastic cook and i want to enjoy the food.

I agree with Simon, lets see the other side aswell.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

What is this thing about leaving the toilet seat up?

I don't see the problem.

The person who enters the room can surely summon the energy to adjust the seat to conform with what he or she wants to do there.

If a woman is annoyed at her husband leaving the seat in the up position, I would suggest that this is a symptom, not the cause of her annoyance.

Something else is going on.

13 ( +25 / -12 )

So basically, everything they are basically , as a sit at home wife are payed to do... I suggest dumping em and getting a mistress and a house cleaner service - cheaper and better satisfaction

-7 ( +12 / -20 )

Yes. Let's see the list from a men's POV.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

The toilet seat "problem" is one that I'll never really accept as an actual problem. On the one hand, I can kind of understand where they're coming from...men are the only ones who use the toilet with the seat up, so we should be responsible for putting it down again. But really, this should be declared a non-issue, worldwide, in perpetuity. Before you use the toilet, adjust the seat as necessary.

Also, about number 4: "Defecation" refers not so much to peeing as to the other thing. I really hope people aren't using their hands to defecate, inebriated or not.

9 ( +11 / -2 )

Well, my wife is the one with the majority of the problems on that list.

3 ( +8 / -5 )

Knew it would be laundry. Laundry dominates the rhythm of Japanese domestic life. That's why nearly all the houses and apartments in Japan face south. Can make for really ugly neighborhoods, but laundry is priority No. 1.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

What is this thing about leaving the toilet seat up?

Exactly, there are 2 males and 1 female in our house. If anything, we should be complaining that she always leaves the seat down.

4 ( +11 / -7 )

Why does a woman have any more right to demand the toilet seat down than I have to demand it up? Why is down the assumed default position?

10 ( +17 / -7 )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suAhGfVr_4U

relevent, at least I can watch TV while eating.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Toilet seats... If we consider default position of the seat as being the majority of the time the loo is used with the seat up versus down (man peeing - man pooing - woman peeing - woman pooing), default should be seat down.

6 ( +15 / -9 )

Not turning lights off

is only ever a big deal when someone else has left them on.

Why so quick to judge, ladies?

0 ( +3 / -3 )

9. Not putting the toilet seat down

It seems that (not all) women really want men to sit down and pee on the seat because pee tends to spill all over the floor.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

@ Maria

Your math doesn't work, and here's why. Most people poo once, maybe twice a day. But the average adult will pee maybe 5-7 times a day. So take my household, with two males. That is a total of 14 pees vs the missus 7 pees and combined total of 6 poos.

So seat up 14 times.

Seat down 13 times.

Do you own math for your household, and go with whatever the majority is. If you have more girls in the home, then down. If more boys, then up. Simple.

0 ( +8 / -8 )

Women want the seat down for three reasons,

1) It's super annoying to hurry into a loo and sit down without checking only to find yourself sitting on the bowl. Yes, it happens, especially when you're in a hurry or at night when you can't be bothered to switch on the light. 2) You can quite easily do what you need with the seat down. The reverse is less true for women and kind of nasty. 3) If the seat is up and the person who uses the toilet next "needs" it down, they're the ones who have to touch it and possibly any "splash" that's gotten on it. It just seems politer to put it down in the default position which everyone can and does use, at least for some of your business.

-1 ( +8 / -9 )

Kwatt,

Confession time... hello strangers.. I am a big he-man-woman-hater type of guy and I sit down to pee. Always have, always will. Public toilets with piss all around the rim of the bowl and a puddle of accumulated drips on the floor is so overwhelmingly disgusting to me...I'll even wad up a bunch of toilet paper and sacrifice myself to wipe up all the other dudes over spray.

Sorry ladies, I'm taken...;)

2 ( +6 / -4 )

Cardinal rule of "inebriated defecation" is use both hands? What?!

3 ( +4 / -1 )

So the simple answer is: separate the trash yourself, put the toilet seat back down again, shut the front door, watch TV yourself at mealtimes, pick up the trash, straighten up the shoes to your own levels of satisfaction, wipe round the toilet once a day, put stuff away, switch off the lights and pick up the laundry.

Or get a job.

-2 ( +8 / -10 )

My maths works fine in a household with one man and one woman in it, where both the man and woman work FT; much more so where the woman has to do the bulk of the housekeeping as well. Obviously, if there are kids (especially those who help with cleaning duties) then you have to consider them in the reckoning.

If you wanted to be really precise about it, you would draw up a chart for a week, keep it in the loo, and keep count of how often you use the loo and whether the seat is up/down. You'd have to counter out guests unless they are daily; also discount stomach bugs unless frequent. It needs to be an average week during which school/work events are par for the course. Then tally up the scores and off you go. ... Of course, if you find this to be a silly idea, why not accept that seat up is something that makes your partner unhappy, and it's a small compromise to make?

2 ( +4 / -2 )

I didn't know that there were Japanese men who left the seat up. My J husband FREAKS OUT if we leave the top up. I can't imagine what he thinks of guys who leave the seat up as well. Thought it was cultural- guess not!

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Sorry ladies, but many of you also leave the seat up. The covering seat that is! I always keep mine down and I have noticed 95% of the time my female guests use the toilet, that seat stays up. Keeping em both down just keeps everyone happy.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

From what some of my coworkers told me, going home early generally upsets a Japanese wife no end.

7 ( +9 / -2 )

4. Leaving a noticeable mess around the toilet – 55%

Women really don't like any sticky part of poo left inside the toilet bowl. Men do not flush it again and then ignore to clean it.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Or 'go out and get smashed with your mates, come home at 4 or 5 and be completely useless when the kid wakes up at 7 in the morning. '

I now wake up, have a few cups of tea and get da fook outta there to the park with the kid!

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Meh. Cry me a river. I'm sure men have equal lists of grievances.

The question is are you willing to sit down, as adults, and come up with compromises? Or would you rather just complain anonymously on the Internet (or to silly magazine surveys)?

2 ( +4 / -2 )

many of you also leave the seat up. The covering seat that is! I always keep mine down and I have noticed 95% of the time my female guests use the toilet, that seat stays up

I used to always insist on the lid being down after use (you know flushing with the lid up sprays all kinds of microscopic faecal matter around?) but the cat has trained me to leave the lid up, seat down, so that she can go without having to call me.

I suppose that means the answer to the eternal seat up/seat down question is, Whatever the boss says. In most cases, that's Seat Down. :-)

The question is are you willing to sit down, as adults

Definitely need the seat down for that.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

I hate to be a bit of a b1tch about this, but Im going to put money on the fact that most of these "stay at home housewives" are probably childless.

In which case... they are housewives, who are complaining about having to clean? It kind of rings strange with me.

If the husband cleaned up after themselves the way the wife's seem to want them to - separating the trash, doing the laundry, tidying the genkan, cleaning the damn toilet - surely the housewifes would be out of a job, no?

2 ( +8 / -6 )

I would like to know what kind of wife's actions will annoy them (husbands).

4 ( +4 / -0 )

I think this is all made up nonsense. Most Japanese live in the b traditional manner, where the man 's duty is to provide the income and the woman to make to do the household chores. If women are angry it would more likely be with the husband coming home late and possibly having drunk too much.

I find Japanese women less aggressive and demanding than women from my home country and they have respect for their spouses and i like that.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

The mens list will have only 1 item on its list

The fact that the wives get peeved easily and complain and moan too much about trivial little things

SUCH AS

Not separating trash

Not putting the toilet seat down

Not closing the front door

Poor conversation skills during mealtimes

Not putting trash into the trash bin

Not arranging shoes neatly

Leaving a noticeable mess around the toilet

Not putting things away

Not turning off lights

Leaving dirty laundry lying around

Woman are moaners and complainers by nature, and woman by the way HOW ABOUT PUTTING THE SEAT BACK UP WHEN FINISHED !

2 ( +6 / -4 )

People still argue with women? I mean, really?

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Men could just pee sitting down. I quite enjoy it. If you pee standing up then the piss gets on the seat and floor at times. Not midstream of course but at the start and the end. You know, sometimes it is a real doozy of a piss and it just kind of bursts out and then at teh end you have to push that last bit out. This makes for plenty of chances to piss on the seat or the floor. Just piss with the seat down and call it a day. I mean who even wants to touch a dirty seat? Up or down don't matter! The damn thing is a toilet seat and lets minimize hand contact :)

1 ( +5 / -4 )

Im going to put money on the fact that most of these "stay at home housewives" are probably childless.

Why? The article says the survey was of 'married women', not 'stay-at-home-housewives'.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

10 simple ways to ruin a Japanese wife’s day

How about "seek physical intimacy"

12 ( +13 / -1 )

A lot of people are assuming that women without jobs were surveyed, but there's no indication of that. There is also a general attitude that most women don't work in Japan... but there are a heck of a lot of women working these days, especially in metropolitan areas where a survey like this was probably taken. It is getting harder and harder to live off just one income here.

As to women complaining about trivial things... if you read the article, the women were TOLD to answer with trivial things, not major problems. The article hints that these are things you might be ignoring in your daily life, but when you think about it, you realize that they drive you crazy. So it's not like the women surveyed went out of their way to complain about their spouses. I can imagine some of them might have answered like... "Well, gee, nothing really. I guess I don't like it when he leaves the seat up. I'll check that box." Or they look at a list and check things that their husband DOES, not the things they complain about all the time.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Of course, if you find this to be a silly idea, why not accept that seat up is something that makes your partner unhappy, and it's a small compromise to make?

That's common sense yes, but doing the maths on this is just so much more fun. : )

Seriously though, you're right. The average man will never understand why a women gets so peeved about a toilet seat being left up, and he usually doesn't care either way, so the easiest thing to do is just put it down and avoid confrontation.

In my house the toilet lid goes up and down automatically when someone enters the loo. To lift the seat all I need do is press another button. After my business the seat and lid automatically go down again after I finish.

Of course all this is actually meaningless banter to me, because my wife insists that I sit down to pee.... but anyway...

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Many Japanese wife are so grumpy.

If husband comes home fast, she is grumpy – “Why you don’t work more harder?”

If husband comes home later, she is also grumpy! “Did you drink? Where did you go? Who did you talk to? Some woman? You spend too much money! Why you smell like a booze?”

Simple way to ruin a Japanese wife’s day is to be near a Japanese wife. Man never can win. I don’t know what’s happen to my beautiful bride. Suddenly only apron and grumpy complain.

Many my friend say a same story.

3 ( +10 / -7 )

Live through the previous night ... again.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Fumie Yuhi: I would like to know what kind of wife's actions will annoy them (husbands).

Well, if articles on this site are to be believed, getting a bob or short haircut or straight bangs and not wearing a schoolgirl sailor costume will go a long way towards irritating your Japanese man.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

ambrosiaAug. 30, 2013 - 09:23AM JST Women want the seat down for three reasons,

None of which are valid.

1) It's super annoying to hurry into a loo and sit down without checking only to find yourself sitting on the bowl. Yes, it happens, especially when you're in a hurry or at night when you can't be bothered to switch on the light.

So the logic here is that woman have the right not to check? ... No. I check before I pee, so can you. I bother to turn on the light, so can you. I am sometimes in a rush too. Women just have a massive sense of entitlement in this area. You want an equal society? Then EVERYONE checks.

2) You can quite easily do what you need with the seat down. The reverse is less true for women and kind of nasty.

Actually I can't, because it is all kinds of nasty. Some guys say they can, but my ahem equipment touches the lip of the toilet bowl if I try to do pee sitting down. I'm not boasting or anything, its not that I'm huge, its that Japanese toilets are small. I always pee standing, clean up, and then if I need to poo I make sure my equipment is not hanging into the toilet bowl.

For women the "nasty" situation is entirely avoidable. Just look, put the seat down, then do your business. For many men it is nearly impossible without your equipment touching something nasty.

3) If the seat is up and the person who uses the toilet next "needs" it down, they're the ones who have to touch it and possibly any "splash" that's gotten on it.

.... This logic here is non-existent. In essence you're claiming that the risk of "splash" on the bottom of a raised toilet seat is HIGHER than the risk of "splash" when the toilet seat is down?!?!

If anything men should be complaining about having to touch the underside of a toilet seat that has been centimeters away from the woman's "splash". If there's any "splash" on the seat then it is yours.

It just seems politer to put it down in the default position which everyone can and does use, at least for some of your business.

.. it just seems politer TO YOU because it is to your advantage. To guys its another thing to remember. Sometimes we forget, and sometimes we're in a rush... which if I recall were what women regarded as perfectly valid reasons for taking a flying butt dive into the toilet without checking... so lay off this issue.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

reason - WE'RE TIRED!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

warewarenihonjin

Many Japanese wife are so grumpy.

If husband comes home fast, she is grumpy – “Why you don’t work more harder?”

If husband comes home later, she is also grumpy! “Did you drink? Where did you go? Who did you talk to? Some woman? You spend too much money! Why you smell like a booze?”

Simple way to ruin a Japanese wife’s day is to be near a Japanese wife. Man never can win. I don’t know what’s happen to my beautiful bride. Suddenly only apron and grumpy complain.

Many my friend say a same story.

Welcome to married life warewarenihonjin they are all the same, we marry them becuase we see them as the girl we want and dont want them to change, they marry us wanting to change us to something they want.

The three rings of marriage are, firstly the engagment ring, then the wedding ring and next comes the suffering.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

Live together before marriage. Test the water. It won't solve all the problems, but it's a start. Also, these peeves are nothing new. We have to compromise! If not, we will end up bitter over trivial issues.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

So the logic here is that woman have the right not to check

Who said anything about "rights"?

You want an equal society? Then EVERYONE checks.

That may well be the most ridiculous and laughable non sequitur attempt at bringing a demand for equality, that obviously rankles you, into the discussion that I've ever heard. I think we can all safely agree that when it comes to the loo, men and women are most definitely not the same. Anyway, I thought most grown-ups now agreed that equality doesn't "equal" being the same.

and then if I need to poo I make sure my equipment is not hanging into the toilet bowl.

If you can manage to avoid having your equipment touching it then surely you can manage to avoid it at other times.

This logic here is non-existent. In essence you're claiming that the risk of "splash" on the bottom of a raised toilet seat is HIGHER than the risk of "splash" when the toilet seat is down?!?

No, I'm not. I'm saying there's splash on the bottom of the seat full-stop and it's nearly impossible to put it down without touching the bottom so if you're the one who wants it up you should have the decency to put it down because you will still be doing other business with it down and women pretty much have to have it down.

Sometimes we forget, and sometimes we're in a rush... which if I recall were what women regarded as perfectly valid reasons for taking a flying butt dive into the toilet without checking...

Yes, everyone can be in a hurry when they're heading to the loo but there's not usually the need for the rush on the way out, is there? What the ladies in your life are asking you to do is to try and remember. It's not like they're asking you to memorize the Gettysburg Address.

so lay off this issue.

Excuse me, but who do you think you are telling me to lay off an issue just because you disagree with me? That's not just cheeky but smacks of an attempt at bullying. I'll "lay off" when I darn well chose.

-7 ( +2 / -9 )

Readers, please stop bickering. It is a humorous story and there is absolutely no reason for any of you to be acrimonious.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

StormR – exactly! Suffering.

But I don’t understand why Japanese wife must make suffering so big display. Please enjoy something together, like family style! Oh no, only like a job…

My wife was complain about toilet seat. She says to me “Please sit down for pee – maybe I fall in a hole” I say, “What? Do you think I am little girl? Please use your eyes if you want to use toilet. How can you make a falling mistake in a toilet? It’s not so difficult, do you know?”

If you want make a japanese wife happy, is very easy. Please be at a desk in office all a time, and send money directly. If you are in a home, she will complain. If you are enjoying hobby, she will complain. Husband’s job is only ATM.

So romantic Japanese lady, isn’t it?

5 ( +11 / -6 )

The list missed the main one...

Suggest having sex.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

You guys complaining about your wives should have showed them from the beginning and before you got married that you intend to be the Man of the house and that there is no way you are going to let a woman step on you.

-2 ( +4 / -6 )

I thought they tolerated all those petty things over their husband's pay cheques..;)

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Complain,complain complain....That's a woman's only skill: How about this: Women should just shut up and learn their place in society. Either that or kick them out on their behind and tell them to pay their own way........just joking, but I bet I had some of you foaming at the mouth!

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

I've seen some quite bitchy sneering from the English, American and Australian friends of my wife about non-Japanese men who marry Japanese women. Some seem to think they just want a cute, obedient pussycat staring wide-eyed at the gaijin men. I think I'll direct them them to this article and the comments. It can't be as bad as all this, can it?

0 ( +2 / -2 )

just tell the wife , she looks fat , that will ruin you days for months to come!

4 ( +6 / -2 )

Jimizo: Some seem to think they just want a cute, obedient pussycat staring wide-eyed at the gaijin men.

To be fair, your wife's friends have probably heard a number of non-Japanese men complaining about "demanding", "bossy", "feminist" Western women, who, if these men are to be believed, are all fat and lazy and don't age well. Those are all comments I've read on this site numerous times, so perhaps those friends can be forgiven for assuming those men want their girlfriends or wives to have the qualities you sited.

It can't be as bad as all this, can it?

Probably not for most but maybe worse for some. Isn't that the way it is everywhere?

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Why is a Japanese news site so determined to have the English speaking world think that Japanese people are off their rockers?

Apart from the shoes thing (which smacks a wee bit of OCD) all of those peeves are pretty reasonable.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Erm I'm a woman and am guilty of no.6, 5 and 3... Now I'm feeling as if I am treated like a husband in my mom's home :< But yeah, hey, I'm unable to keep my area clean if a stubborn woman just decides that no matter what I do, I'm doing it ALL wrong and I am not even able to put my things wherever I want to :I. I just invested in a EUR300 cupboard for my arts & crafts stuff..I come back and find socks and underwear in it, telling me "it costs too much for art stuff; put that stuff in your father's old cupboards! DON'T throw away his stuff!" This applies to cleaning..I do try and help around but you know, after I wash the floor she tells me I shouldn't have done it because i did it wrong, and if I don't do anything then the "you're freeloading (she doesn't want me to pay 'rent money' as a thanks)" and the comparisons to friends' daughters start. Leaving house is impossible unless I get married first.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Why are they not in the kitchen? At least they are doing laundry.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

The day you meet your chick is the best you wiil ever get from her. Getting married is like buying the Nikkei at the high.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Aside from putting the toilet seat down and leaving the front door open, it's actually my wife that engages in all these behaviours, not me. She is horrible at separating garbage (and doesn't bother to clean the plastics if she does), leaves lights on all over the house, and dirty laundry abounds outside the laundry hamper. I admit I sometimes don't put things away, but besides that I do all the rest quite methodically. If my aim is off when using the toilet I immediately clean it up, but that's not often, and out of all our years of marriage I've left the toilet COVER up twice, not the seat, just the cover. She didn't complain about it but brought it to my attention, and I rarely complain to her save if she forgets a lot of lights when leaving the house. Just in case, though, it's me that has toilet cleaning on the list of household chores I do. The only things she really ever complained about was how I washed dishes and how I folded laundry after taking it in, so for the most part we do a good deal of our laundry separately, and I let her do all the towels, etc. I won't get into the real complaints I had.

Now, snoring... that's another matter.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

while over here is the other way round. 10 simple ways to ruin a japanese husband's day. Simple enough because Im not a japanese.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

This is also true for Malaysia wives. I once asked her why we did not eat with our hands... which is the custom in Malaysia opposite of Japanese tradition. She then asked me why I didn't just live in a tree...

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Really, all my friend say a same thing – always wife complain about so small thing. If gamble, or come home so drunker and do DV, of course she must complain. But working hard husband, then come home directly and help with a kids or cooking – why they must complain? It’s nice life, isn’t it? If I am working and paying a bills, please don’t complain. Show some thank you and don’t be so ungratitude person.

I really dislike when wife complain about money. If no money, please working! Help your family! She says, “No, it’s impossible. Monday is hula lesson, Tuesday is ikebana, Wednesday is coffe with other mothers…” Oh, so money is OK, then, isn’t it! So rude person.

My wife complain me if I’m in a house. She says “I wanted alone time” I say, “For alone time, why do you marry?” I pay this house, so I will be in this house if I want it. And I pay your food, and clothes and stupid hobby clubs with other complaining wifes. So shut up your complain. Maybe soon I not in a house forever. Then how will you pay hula dance fee? Cow.

3 ( +8 / -5 )

I couldn't care less whether the toilet seat is up or down. However pee splashes on the rim and floor drive me up the wall as I would have to clean it and after years of complaining about it my hubbie has recently started to pee sitting down.....result!

0 ( +2 / -2 )

This is all very simple, just open your eyes and check, I tell my wife and daughters to check, I check, so you should also check and stop complaining! No big deal, if I have to keep the seat down, why you can't put it up after you finish, Heck, would save me a lot of time.

@frungy

Actually I can't, because it is all kinds of nasty. Some guys say they can, but my ahem equipment touches the lip of the toilet bowl if I try to do pee sitting down. I'm not boasting or anything, its not that I'm huge, its that Japanese toilets are small. I always pee standing, clean up, and then if I need to poo I make sure my equipment is not hanging into the toilet bowl.

I think what the REAL problem is, is that you probably mean the toilets in Japan are too small and low to the ground, that's why you have that problem, in the states, the toilets are usually bigger, deeper, NO problem sitting and nothing touches, but in Japan, I think for most guys, their twigs and berries might be too close for comfort.

But the rest, I do agree with you.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Just about everything on this list seems to be something that WOULD NOT be done out of respect or common sense. (my opinion) A child may need to be taught not to do them, but, then again a man . . . . . (I'm a guy, guys.)

2 ( +2 / -0 )

@Frungy Great post. I've always wondered why, when it comes to the toilet seat status quo, many women feel some sense of entitlement. Good points you laid out there.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I just read the list to my wife and she nodded after every one! We had a good laugh about it though. Apparently I am guilty of sometimes not throwing away tissues and leaving the light on (oops). She doesn't get angry or complain about it though. Wareware, perhaps there is a reason for your wife's disposition? A little kindness goes a long way.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

@Frungy Great post. I've always wondered why, when it comes to the toilet seat status quo, many women feel some sense of entitlement. Good points you laid out there.

I usually, almost never agree with Frungy on just anything, but on this, he definitely hit it out of the park with that for sure.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

This reminds me of the old gag:

Why do husbands die before their wives?

Because they want to.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Frungy's post is bang on, although I personally think it's polite to put the seat down after finishing your business, and if I make any kind of splash I clean it up right away. BUT there ARE times when even the most polite person might forget to put the seat down after peeing, so I see no reason why a woman cannot check first. While putting the seat down is polite, checking before you sit on something is just common sense.

South Park did a funny episode about this in season 14 or 15, I think.

And I also have the same problem about a certain body part touching the lip of the toilet bowl if I sit down (not to pee), and even once got a bit of a pinch when the seat moved as I sat. Not fun. My wife once asked me to sit when I go to the bathroom, not because I often made a mess or left the seat up, but just because she thought it would prevent all that. No way in hell, I said. I'll be polite and put the seat down, clean up if I make a mess, but I will not sit to pee.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

number 1a - moving away from Japan so she's far from her mom..

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Another item to add to the list: Husband takes control of the money.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I sit down for ones and twos, it's actually more relaxing... so the seat loo is down as standard 1A subsection QL-4.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I get grief for using the bog after she's cleaned it. I asked her where she would prefer me to move my bowels, but await a better suggestion. I suspect she'd rather I bake it until I get to work.

Sadly, as my daily offering at the Temple of Cloaca takes place with Teutonic efficiency and the regularity of a fine Swiss timepiece, that will not be possible, I fear.

A better question is why doesn't she wait until I go to work before she starts trying to undo what I have wrought?

4 ( +6 / -2 )

Numbers 1,2,3,4 and 8 would annoy me and I'm a guy. Some women do the same thing themselves. Obviously I don't like being around messy people.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Is taking the newspaper into the bog acceptable in Japanese households?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Jimizo -

I've been told by my good lady that reading during one's ablutions brings bad luck to the entire home.

I suspect it's just an instinct to shut down avenues of pleasure, no matter how mild, whenever they are detected.

Fun Police are knocking on my window...

4 ( +5 / -1 )

I get grief for using the bog after she's cleaned it. I asked her where she would prefer me to move my bowels, but await a better suggestion.

Here's a better suggestion; after you've moved your bowels, leave the loo in the same condition you found it. It's what adults do.

3 ( +7 / -4 )

because their guy couldn't take the half-second to flip the seat back down

And somehow women don't have half-second to put it down. I will never understand this. It's just common sense to check where you're sitting.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Cleo -

I do leave the bog in the same state as I found it. I'm a grown-up. It's the whining about my using the Kharzi for its intended purpose, after she's chosen a time immediately before she knows I always use it to perform a futile cleansing ceremony, which I find a challenge to understand. Particularly as I leave it clean after my outpourings. I was not brought up by wolves.

If she'd wait ten minutes, my bum would be on its daily 14-hour leave of absence from my bog. She opts to pre-empt my exemplary regularity, when she has the rest of the day free, and then moans when I do what I have done at 07:15 every morning without exception since a long time before we met. Point 1) After many years of marriage, one should be aware of one's partner's toiletry requirements; Point 2) one should learn after a couple of occurrences to wait awhile until potential foulage begins its commute; and point 3) 07:45 is no time at all to be cleaning the bog. She should be preparing food.

Any other advice?

3 ( +5 / -2 )

tell her to get a part time job to help pay the family bills, thatll get them annoyed

2 ( +3 / -1 )

So the simple answer is: separate the trash yourself, put the toilet seat back down again, shut the front door, watch TV yourself at mealtimes, pick up the trash, straighten up the shoes to your own levels of satisfaction, wipe round the toilet once a day, put stuff away, switch off the lights and pick up the laundry. Or get a job.

ChibaChick, I wish I could click on your post a hundred times over!

You know, I live alone, and I still do all of that strenuous stuff by myself. Oh, and I manage to hold down a full-time job while I'm at it.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

This is even more inconsiderate if you’re dealing with a high-end Japanese toilet that has a motorized seat that goes back down with the push of a button.

These "high-end" toilet seats are anything but considerate if you're a man! The husband is stuck putting the seat back in his desired position (or, worse, pressing a button while the seat lifts itself upwards with excruciating slowness) the majority of the time while the wife never has to lift a finger.

In our household, we've settled on Cleo's insightful solution, which is to put both the seat and the lid down, before flushing, so that none of that microscopic matter flies into the atmosphere when the toilet is flushed.

It also means that we both know what position the toilet is going to be in, all the time, and can plan accordingly before entering the bathroom.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Sounds like any wife.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Prohibit her to talk like a baby, or bring her to a speech therapist so she can learn to talk normal.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

avigator: It's unlikely that one's wife started talking like a baby after the wedding so if you don't like being with a woman who talks like that (and who would) why would you have married her in the first place?

ThonTaddeo: It sounds like you and the missus have come to a very sensible solution.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Yep, this list just proves that Japanese women are EXACTLY THE SAME as women worldwide.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Sorry ladies, but many of you also leave the seat up. The covering seat that is!

Most people call that the lid, not the seat. It's left up in our house because putting it down would make it difficult for our two year old to use the toilet- don't really want to add another step for him, accidents would probably result.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Here's a better suggestion; after you've moved your bowels, leave the loo in the same condition you found it. It's what adults do.

I've got an even better suggestion, when you use the John after another person, pay attention, it what adults should do. Trust yourself, Not the person before you.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Ask her for some...you know.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I am guilty of 1,2,3,4,5 and 9. My wife used to give me grief over most of them, but old habits die hard. She does give me some slack because I do make a conscious effort, so I consider myself lucky to have a fairly reasonable wife. Here is one simple way my wife can ruin my day though. She takes forever to go get ready to go out! If we have plans for noon, I tell her it's for 11, but we still end up being late by an hour! But what can I say, she was like that from the day I met her, so I knew what I was getting into. But still....

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Suggest having sex.

tell her to get a part time job to help pay the family bills

Yep. Those two definitely need to be on the list.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

All of those come under common courtesy and respect.

and a word to the wise about criticizing the wife.

dont.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

technology can sort out half of these, as they do in my house. Motion sensor lights in every room, toilet and corridor. Auto close doors, auto close toilet seat, simple and visible separated rubbish bins, train your kids and dog to put stuff away which includes rubbish and laundry.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

cracaphat - "Ask her for some...you know."

Some pocket money?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I love my wife. I really do.

The toilet thing pops up now and then. Best clean it after any business for a peaceful home.

What upsets her more is offering to cook for some strange reason.

I get flummoxed by the trash rules though. It drives me bonkers.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Lol these are just pet peeves, neither unique to Japan, nor are men exclusively guilty of those. I am a regular offender of at least 3 points. But still when living with someone, spouse, roomies, family or whatever, one should try to put a little bit of effort, just out of respect.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I miss my bachelor toilet. High flush WC, big old tarnished mirror in front of you as you sat (female friends feigned disgust at first, but soon fell in love with it), eclectica on the walls for guests to enjoy (linger, even), and a small library.

No-one ever complained about the seat being up, because it wasn't a sterile, anal retentive (wrong adjective, I know) environment.

Where did we go wrong?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

More than the 'taking out the trash' rules, the ones having the greatest impact on our lives are those concerning sanitation. The numerous posts here attest to that. The cardinal rule is leaving the 'facility' in the same state when exiting as when entering, providing it was clean and had seat and cover down. If not, doing a little cleaning oneself and lowering seat and cover won't do any harm or take much time. I consider the seat and cover, if provided, lowered the default arrangement, just like a cupboard door shut, a drawer closed, a light turned off. Would seem easy to remember, but now often electronics do it for us. Convenient. But in the absence of these hi-tech conveniences wives could try to discuss the issues with their husbands and vice versa. No need to fret about it :-)

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Not putting the toilet seat down

This always puzzles me. Do women walk backwards into the toilet with their eyes closed and just plonk themselves down? They are simply complaining that other people won't let them be slothenly lazy.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

To the article writer: "defecation" means pooping, not peeing.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

11 - Refuse to hand over your monthly salary paycheck.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

1 Mealtime conversation.... Wife should concentrate in eating goody goody instead of trying to talk 5 shoes ... put shoes in a box and place in somewhere not easy to find. 1 Laundry. Don't wash other adults' clothes/.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

“Leaving a noticeable mess around the toilet” – 55%

my understanding is that they actually want men to sit down and pee and in fact train their sons to do so.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Johnathan Harston: Do women walk backwards into the toilet with their eyes closed and just plonk themselves down? They are simply complaining that other people won't let them be slothenly lazy.

Have you really never half woken up from a deep sleep and walked to the loo without turning the lights on? It happens to women occasionally too, you know. Not that often but it isn't beyond the realm of possibilities and has less to do with being slovenly than simply being exhausted.

fds: my understanding is that they actually want men to sit down and pee and in fact train their sons to do so.

Interesting. My mom and dad just trained all of us to be neat, clean and considerate of everyone in the house, which meant occasionally compromising on what you might have preferred, but certainly never meant trying to get my brothers to go against what was most natural.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Never had a problem was instructed to lift, aim and put it down plus cover. If it goes astray you wipe and clean it up.

Can't see the fuss about it.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

The list is missing the number one way to truly ruin a japanese wife's day : attempting sex with her.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Bathrooms around the world tend to have a thin layer of fecal matter and associated microbes coating all the surfaces of the room--walls, fixtures, etc. The reason for this is that flushing aerosolizes feces.

There are more filthy environments, notably kitchen sponges, but there is good reason to flush with the lid down and keep it down. It is, after all, a poop hole, something which typically has been kept out of the home.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Very interesting and entertaining article, and the line about "home breaking transgressions" meant I had to stop reading for a while due to laughter x)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

11. Your husband is not cheating on you. She'll wonder what is wrong with her husband.
0 ( +0 / -0 )

lesson for those husband or husband to be.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/562752_334640426591462_876834729_n.jpg

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

kwatt: "Women really don't like any sticky part of poo left inside the toilet bowl. Men do not flush it again and then ignore to clean it."

A huge and utterly large BS. I can't tell you the number of times I've cleaned up flecks of poo after the better half, and I ALWAYS clean up after myself. Now, shall we talk about the leftover blood around the toilet during menstruation? I don't really want to, and never complained about it, but it's not my favourite thing to find when I get up to use the bathroom.

You see, it goes both ways. Not all men are dirty, and not all women clean, when it comes to simple little clean-ups.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

I get to hear it about the lights but I'm pretty well trained on the top 10.....

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Leaving the toilet seat up is nasty and inconsiderate. Don't do it. That said, anyone who puts their bare butt down on something without looking at it first deserves what they get. Don't blame others for your carelessness. Now shake hands and place nicely, children.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Any wife of mine will not be sitting at home on her arse all day with enough free time to worry about a lot of these things. I don't care that Japanese women see marriage as a cop out from doing any real work and an excuse to not have to work - if she's married to me she will be working too. Suck it up princesses - welcome to the 21st century. Lazy women need to be forced back into the workforce given that a huge % of Japanese working age people will soon be retired.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Whoever actually considers #5 a problem must be ornery and nit-picky as all hell. I wouldn't want a spouse that actually gave a crap about that.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

This is silly! This is not exclusive to Japanese wives. ANY wife around the world would not be happy if some of these things occurred at home. Husbands too! Husbands can be equally annoyed at the wife for particular things. A bit stereotypical, no? Many Japanese wives I know around me work a full time or part time job, then come home to cook/clean for their families. If their hubby doesn't pull their weight around the house, of course they'd be annoyed. Helping around the house is key to a happy (happier?) marriage imo. :-)

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I only entered to answer these:

So the logic here is that woman have the right not to check? ... No. I check before I pee, so can you. I bother to turn on the light, so can you. I am sometimes in a rush too. Women just have a massive sense of entitlement in this area. You want an equal society? Then EVERYONE checks.

The urge to pee for a woman cannot be compared to a man, because woman cannot hold it for a long time like a man due the anatomy of the urethra, so in an emergency, woman does not have the time to check

For women the "nasty" situation is entirely avoidable. Just look, put the seat down, then do your business. For many men it is nearly impossible without your equipment touching something nasty.

Agreed

.. This logic here is non-existent. In essence you're claiming that the risk of "splash" on the bottom of a raised toilet seat is HIGHER than the risk of "splash" when the toilet seat is down?!?!

The risk of a Splash comes form the pee form a man that touched the underside of the toilet seat. if the next person have to touch it.. yuck!!!

.. it just seems politer TO YOU because it is to your advantage. To guys its another thing to remember. Sometimes we forget, and sometimes we're in a rush...

It is not only to women, the default position of the seat is down because it is used that way 3 of 4 times 1 and 2 for women, 2 for men.

Anyway, these are perks, trivial things that annoy wifes in general, and you guys are taking this so seriously, personally, the trivial thins that drives me crazy is when people eat soup of another liquid meal they make this "slurping" noise real loud, but that's just me.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I guess I have been lucky with the women I have had the pleasure to live with over the years because I have never had one mention a preference and I have even had at least two profess their confusion why so many of their fellow women get bent out of shape about it.

If the toilet seat has a lid, then both should be put down for every flush, as the act of flushing sprays whatever is in the bowl all over the room. If you have no lid, then there is no default position. Look before you leap and make necessary adjustments. My wife of almost 8 years agrees, though while living in Tokyo I began sitting all the time at home since the toilets are so small and low. Now we live in the states and recently built a new house and we chose toilets with hydraulic seat covers that slowly fall in place, so there is no excuse not to put the lid down, as you don't have to bend or reach to make it happen.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Do you own math for your household, and go with whatever the majority is. If you have more girls in the home, then down. If more boys, then up. Simple.

And if it is even numbers?

Cripes any woman or man that complains about a damn toilet seat being up or down has some serious anal issues.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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