lifestyle

30 things that single women don’t want to hear

19 Comments
By Rachel Tackett

There are both good and bad things about being a single woman later in life, though living free is not always the lady’s choice. Years and years may pass, and relationships fail to find us. That doesn’t mean we don’t want companionship, it just hasn’t happened to us yet. Often, the time and place just never feel right for establishing that love connection, or maybe a worthy companion has yet to appear.

Regardless of the circumstances, there’s one thing that single women never want to hear, and that’s relationship advice. Sure, it’s fine if we ask for it, but otherwise, do us all a nice favor and keep your opinions to yourself. Your intentions may be noble, but your assumptions and attempted assurances are really just reminders of exactly how lonely we single women are. Trust me. Whatever you have to say, we’ve heard it all before. Here’s a list of 30 things you really shouldn’t say to a single woman, as told by the lovely ladies over at our Japanese sister site, Pouch:

  1. “It’s great that you have so much freedom.” Yup. All that freedom and nothing to do.

  2. “You’re not really interested in marriage, huh?” Oh, I really am.

  3. “You live for your work, I see.” Only because there’s not much else going on.

  4. "Don’t you have someone special in your life?” Nope.

  5. “Surely there’s someone!” Show me where.

  6. “I take it you’re not interested in love.” I am.

  7. You’ve just got to be assertive.” Then I insist you give me some real relationship advice.

  8. “If you’re looking for luxury, a guy will be really hard to find.” I never said that I was.

  9. “Give it some effort!” Sorry

  10. “You’ve got to set up your own dates!” With whom, exactly?

  11. “Oh sorry, this is all marriage talk, so you wouldn’t really know.” Sorry for not being married.

  12. “You should try having kids soon.” I’d need a partner first.

  13. “You sure like spending time alone.” Not really

  14. “Is it fun spending all of your time alone?” Fun’s not really the issue here.

  15. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I wish I knew.

  16. [If a younger sibling gets married first] “Sorry. If we were doing in order, you should have been first.” No, it’s my fault for taking so long.

  17. “Is there no one at work that you’re interested in?” They’re all married.

  18. “Why not get your friends to introduce you to some people?” That would require friends already outside of my circle.

  19. “You just haven’t found the right person yet.” Thank you for the attempt at assurance.

  20. “Maybe you already know them but just haven’t realized it!” Please stop before I punch you.

  21. “You’re still young. Enjoy yourself!” Will do.

  22. “Wow! So you don’t mind going to movies and stuff alone?” Can’t help it. No one to go with.

  23. “When will you get married?” Sometime after I find a boyfriend.

  24. “Is it true you don’t have any friends?” Obviously you don’t consider yourself one.

  25. “Because you’re alone, you can eat what you want, go where you want, and do whatever you want. Being alone sounds great!” Sure, except for the alone part.

  26. “The years have gone by so fast!” And they will continue to fly by, I’m sure.

  27. “So, what do you even do on your free days?” I dunno…walk?

  28. “But there’s plenty of guys around!” I’ve noticed.

  29. “If only you weren’t working all the time.” It’s not that I can’t. Working is preferable to self-pity.

  30. “Sure enough, it’s easier to live alone.” Indeed! Now drop the subject. We’re done here.

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- How to Break Up When the Other Half Just Won’t Let Go -- 46 Things That Surprise Foreigners in Japan -- Junior High School English in Japan From the Perspective of Students

© RocketNews24

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19 Comments
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You're a selfish, stubborn, materialistic woman unable to accept other people for who they are, but you expect them to change their ways and transform themselves into Prince Charming in order to meet your unrealistic expectations. You're living in a fantasy world with no grip on reality, and are boring to be with to boot.

That's probably 31.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Had to laugh at this light summer reading. Love the piquant attitude. Don't mind papasmurf, the curmudgeon.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

No sympathy from me. I know a very pretty mid-30s woman in this category who asked me for advice on men. When I delved deeper, she said that she had been asked to get married by 3 men in the past few years and turned them all down for some reason or other, and had been thronged by men in her 20's when she was even more of a catch...

In the end, I think people end up where they want to be. You may say you want to get married, but the actions are quite different. My humble advice to these women would be to make a huge effort to smile at men more so they feel you are approachable. The bytch shield is very powerful and men won't even bother with you.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

"Nice bag. Who bought it for you?" Um, actually I bought it for myself.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

It's hard not to laugh at this. But woman probably end up this way because their standards are too high or they're just too picky. Too many women desire appearance over personality, but the problem is, most of the "good looking" guys are arseholes, more interested in sport, working out and sex than in companionship and love.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

33 "you must be gagging for it"
1 ( +2 / -1 )

Women's expectations (according to a Nomura survey recently) of a marriage partner are that he should have a "moderate/reasonable income". The next question identified their interpretation of "modest/reasonable" at around 7-8 million yen per year. As this is well in excess of the national average salary, there's naturally a hefty chunk of men who find themselves outside of the expectations of women. Moreover, when these women are in their 20s their male contemporaries are earning A LOT less than 7-8 million per year. By the time the men start to reach that level in greater numbers, the men are in their 30s, and looking for women in their 20s...... It's actually rather sad but the fundamental problem is one of perception, probably created by the bubble era.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

You had better lower your standards - your not much of a catch yourself.

On a side note rachel tackett sounds a bit like a bitter old crow... Im not surprised she's still single.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

33 "you must be gagging for it."

No, but your husband obviously is. As evidenced by the number of times he's tried to get the phone numbers of every single woman in this office.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Judging by the tone of this article, nobody can say anything to older single women.

Or if they dare to, the response will be a sour face resembling someone who has just sucked on a lemon.

The problem lies with these women... they should lighten up a bit.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

As others have mentioned, a woman in her 30s who wants to be married, but isn't, is 99% of the time a victim of her own unrealistic expectations. There are more than enough guys out there. The women just find reasons why those guys don't meet their expectations.

So they either need to lower their expectations, or become being comfortable with being a spinster, because their most appealing years are already past.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I wish I knew.

Because you likely think most men are beneath your standards, and you make sure they know it.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

My answers:

“It’s great that you have so much freedom.” Yes, it is! I love it! :)

“You’re not really interested in marriage, huh?” No, I'm not, actually. I don't feel that I need to be married in order to have a good, healthy, long-lasting, satisfying relationship. Marriage really doesn't mean that much to me, personally.

“You live for your work, I see.” Definitely not! Work is only PART of life. I have lots else going on.

“Don’t you have someone special in your life?” Of course. Other than my bf, I have lots of special people in my life- friends, family! Don't you?

“Surely there’s someone!” Yes, there is. We just aren't married.

“I take it you’re not interested in love.” Of course I am. What a silly assumption.

You’ve just got to be assertive.” Oh, I'm plenty assertive! wink

“If you’re looking for luxury, a guy will be really hard to find.” I can provide my own luxury. I'm looking for LOVE, not a handout. Sheesh.

“Give it some effort!” What makes you think I'm not? We all go about this in our own way. Just because I'm not like you doesn't mean I'm doing something wrong.

“You’ve got to set up your own dates!” We go on dates all the time.

“Oh sorry, this is all marriage talk, so you wouldn’t really know.” Actually, I think I can imagine.

“You should try having kids soon.” No, I'm not interested in having kids. Never have been.

“You sure like spending time alone.” Yes, actually, I do. It's great to have my own time to do my own thing.

“Is it fun spending all of your time alone?” ALL my time? Well, aside from the time I spend recharging, I'm really not alone all that much. I do have a bf, friends and hobbies, you know.

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?” I do. :)

[If a younger sibling gets married first] “Sorry. If we were doing in order, you should have been first.” All my siblings are married but me. I'm happy for them, they're doing well.

“Is there no one at work that you’re interested in?” LOL....no, believe me, no. :)

“Why not get your friends to introduce you to some people?” Sure, why not? Sounds like fun!

“You just haven’t found the right person yet.” Well, the guy I'm with now is pretty rad. I just don't WANT to get married.

“Maybe you already know them but just haven’t realized it!” That's very cliche, isn't it?

“You’re still young. Enjoy yourself!” Oh I am. Believe me, I am!!

“Wow! So you don’t mind going to movies and stuff alone?” Sure, I love going to movies alone. I can pick the one I want, sit where I want, and it's very relaxing. Same with eating out, that's also fun to do alone once in a while.

“When will you get married?” I have no real interest in marriage. I'm actually quite happy just having my boyfriend.

“Is it true you don’t have any friends?” Huh? Who said that? I have lots of friends. Weird question.

“Because you’re alone, you can eat what you want, go where you want, and do whatever you want. Being alone sounds great!” It is great. I love the independence.

“The years have gone by so fast!” Time always goes fast when you're having fun, doesn't it?

“So, what do you even do on your free days?” Go shopping, see movies, go to dinner, go to my dance lesson, go to the gym, go to the beach or park, ride my bike around town, go to museums/art exhibits, meet friends, go drinking, go dancing...you know. There's a lot to do in a big city like this.

“But there’s plenty of guys around!” Yes, but it IS hard to find a match, isn't it?

“If only you weren’t working all the time.” I don't work "all the time", believe me. I just took a 2 week vacation by myself- yay me! :)

“Sure enough, it’s easier to live alone.” You got that right! I love, love living alone. People keep asking me why my bf and I don't move in together, and we say, "Why should we?" I mean, I got my own space! He has his! We can see each other when we want, and have free time when we want. It's PERFECT.
0 ( +1 / -1 )

From my observation, most are pronounced single meaning not married but their sex life isn't zero nor their pockets aren't filled during payday only.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

31 Lose some weight. 32 Take up a sport, join a sports club and meet some people, the nicest guys I've encountered in Japan was through sports. 33 Limit childish hobbies like cosplay, that's a turnoff. 34 Get off the computer/net and get out and get involved.
0 ( +0 / -0 )

I don't see many single women here who need to lose weight! 32 and 34 are sound advice though.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

33 Is a plus to me and not at all childish. There is a lot of people however that don't wish to get married or have children which is fine to me.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Girl in Tokyo,

Good answers and, to my experience, more in line with the truth than this so-called 'article' by rocketakb48.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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