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Last week, we looked at the results of a survey showing that more than a quarter of Japanese people are willing to kiss on the first date. Today’s topic is quite a bit less romantic, though.
Online manga service Mecha Comic recently polled its users about their experiences cheating on, as well as being cheated on by, their romantic partners. 1,737 responses were collected from female participants.
Starting with the victims’ voices, 38 percent of the women said a boyfriend or husband has cheated on them. Curiously, only 35 percent said they’ve caught a partner cheating, so an unsolicited confession, reliable third-person testimony, or confidence in women’s intuition must account for the three-percent gap.
Slightly fewer women, 31 percent, said they’ve cheated on their man. When asked why, the most common response was that they’d simply become attracted to someone else (43 percent), followed by those who’d become bored with their stale, existing relationship (26 percent). 19 percent shifted the blame by saying their illicit lover swept them off their feet/seduced them, with the remaining 22 percent citing provocations such as emotional exhaustion from putting up with their partner’s irritating personalities and revenge for their boyfriend/husband cheating on them (although one woman admitted that after she started an affair of her own, she found out that she’d been wrongly suspicious of her faithful husband).
The survey also asked women what they felt constitutes cheating. Working our way up the intimacy scale, the responses were:
● Going out to eat or do something when it’s just the two of us: 9 percent
● Holding hands: 19 percent
● Hugging: 14 percent
● Kissing: 27 percent
● Having sex: 29 percent
● Other: 3 percent
It’s worth noting that in Japan, hugging to say hello or good-bye to a platonic friend of the opposite sex is relatively rare. Unfortunately, the three percent who chose “other” didn’t elaborate on what sort of ritualistic mating dances or baroque courtship cues they see as the deciding factor between fidelity and infidelity.
Finally, the survey asked if the women had ever been caught cheating by their lover. Only six percent said they had, which stands in stark contrast to the 31 percent who’d admitted to fooling around on the side. Whether that means a lot of boyfriends/husbands are blissfully unaware of what their lady loves are up to when they’re not around, or are simply keeping that knowledge in their pocket, is unknown.
Source: Mecha Comic via @Press
Read more stories from SoraNews24.
-- Survey finds big gap in Japanese train passengers who want to sit next to someone of opposite sex
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-- Young Japanese women sound off on what does and doesn’t constitute cheating on their boyfriend
© SoraNews24
31 Comments
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Vince Black
Not surprising in the least. Japanese women are just as promiscuous as the men.
Kobe White Bar Owner
i thought Its a national past time.
Haruka
Going out to eat with someone is not cheating. There is nothing wrong with it. I do it quite often, and my spouse knows of it. It is no big deal. I just put one on the calendar in our kitchen yesterday.
inkochi
Hmm - a bit like those stupid comedy-but-would-be-dramas where even a side-long glance at someone of the opposite sex (never same sex because that doesn't, sort of, happen, does it) by one half of the relationship caught by the other half leads to all kinds of unnecessarily damaging recriminations and shattering of brittle egos.
The link at the bottom to
a few months ago has a clearer and more surprising explanation of what constitutes cheating in Japan.
Unfortunately, being anywhere like walking down the street requires people to have a 60-90-degree view in front of them and if somebody cute or maturely attractive moves into that space I suppose we get unavoidably lucky!
What happens down the track might be construed as 'cheating'.
Toasted Heretic
Hmm is this a tacky story designed to elicit a predictable misogynist response or a tacky story designed to fuel mistrust between the genders?
kawabegawa198
It's a slippery slope to cheating. It reminds me of Pulp Fiction when Jules and Vincent are talking about giving a girl a foot massage, and how it appears totally innocent, but you both know it isn't (and that's why it's kinda cool). Dinner for two, especially with alcohol involved, is the same thing. If my girlfriend wanted to have dinner with another male (just the two of them) I would dump her in a heartbeat; don't need that drama in my life.
AgentX
Come on, dude. Lighten up!
If she would have told you about it, she definitely has no intention of cheating. Being insecure is one of the quickest ways to have a girl quickly get tired of you.
gogogo
and Japanese woman wonder why Japanese men are so cold.
Toasted Heretic
The very idea of a society where men can threaten and dictate to women about who they can and cannot be friends with/have dinner with is, frankly, quite terrifying.
If men don't trust their partner that much, they should not be in a relationship.
kawabegawa198
Better yet, find a girl who can be trusted!
AgentX
It's kind of... er... what Toasted Heretic is saying. Maybe it's a cognitive issue...
If you are that domineering and insecure in your relationship, maybe you DO, in fact, have cause for concern. She might be looking to jump ship when the next good one comes along... Probably best you just end it.
FizzBit
And I thought victims blaming was reserved for crazy right wingers.
Wakarimasen
Indeed. Plenty of married women out there looking for fun.
kawabegawa198
Why am I "domineering"? My girlfriend can see who she wants, but if she wants dinner with a single, male friend, then I am bailing. No fuss, no arguments, no domineering, no violence....just "Bye!". I am all for women's rights to hang out with who they want; just don't expect me to be the cuckold.
Nan Ferra
Vince BlackToday 07:26 am JST
Not surprising in the least. Japanese women are just as promiscuous as the men."
I would say the females are even moreso, as the J-males libido drops off a cliff after 30 or so (compounded by overtime. smoking, drinking), while the J-female cougars are still out on the prowl until their retirement years.
Omachi
Surely patrons of online manga service Mecha Comic are not representative of the population at large....
Nan Ferra
These big numbers are the reason that Love Hotels stay in business.
Jimizo
She would no doubt be relieved to live as a normal adult.
I’ve been in very short relationships with possessive women. They are horrific.
Luis David Yanez
This has nothing to do with gender or nationality.
There are many studies about cheating in monogamous relationships, and number are way higher than this.
Most people cheat at least once in their lives, because humans brains are not wired to have a single exclusive sexual partner.
The idea that sexual exclusivity is somehow a "proof of love" contradicts our biology, and is sad to think that love is measured by how exclusive they are in their sexual relationships instead of more important aspects of human relationships.
The best solution would be to accept this fact of our biology, and have more honest relationships... but destroying any social construct around sex is extremely hard.
kawabegawa198
As would I! It works both ways.
AgentX
Normal adults have friends of both sexes...
Wc62six
● Having sex: 29 percent”
only 29% consider sex cheating? You’d think it be in the 90ish or 100%.
Wiskal
Going out to eat with someone is not cheating. There is nothing wrong with it. I do it quite often, and my spouse knows of it. It is no big deal. I just put one on the calendar in our kitchen yesterday.
In itself, of course it's not cheating....but there's a higher chance it may lead into something else if two are chemistery compatible. Of course not all going out to eat end up like that, just saying. Also, depends on the reason for going out, is there a need for two to go out? Quick Lunch? Romantic Dinner?
Silvafan
I think the number of cheating women and men are higher than reported. Most cheaters are smart of enough not to mention it. Besides, a polling through a Manga company's customers wouldn't necessarily be the best way to get an accurate sample of the overall population in Japan.
commanteer
Every couple has a right to make their rules as they see fit. It would be completely naive to assume, for example, that if my wife had frequent dinners alone with a guy that it could never lead to an affair. It could - innocent dinners with co-workers often end up that way.
That said, I am not going to hover over her every relationship decision. I simply choose to trust her. I think some people are overly obsessed with the potential for cheating. It's not the end of the world. If it's a one-off, I'd rather not know about it. Not worth wrecking a family over. If it's a continuous relationship with a long pattern of lying, that's much worse. But even then, circumstances are important and different in each case.
blahblah222
Actual number should be much much higher. Most japanese wives don’t care abour their husbands, and married them due to some kind of social pressure after their dream guy married someone else or something.
Unless you are top 0.1% in terms of looks, your wife will likely cheat on you.
albaleo
I also thought the figure would be higher. After all, sex tends to lead to kissing, and before you know it they'll be dancing too.
commanteer
Pretty sure that has almost nothing to do with it. Looks are no magical wand against a cheating partner.
Netgrump
There's at least one field in Japan where women are equal to men :)