lifestyle

5 reasons why Japanese expats say sayonara to their homeland for good

66 Comments
By Evie Lund, RocketNews24

Japan may be an awesome country, but for some Japanese people who’ve experienced life abroad, it’s just not for them anymore.

But what does it take to make your average Japanese person decide to take the drastic step of packing up and leaving the Land of the Rising Sun for good? Popular Japanese blogger Madame Riri has compiled a list of the top five reasons why Japanese people who’ve experienced life abroad decide to throw in the towel and call it quits on their own country. Here are five reasons why.

Reason 1: The discrimination can be too much to bear

Madame Riri’s contributors list several aspects of discrimination that they feel are more commonly encountered in Japan, namely childhood and workplace bullying and sex discrimination in the workplace.

“As a child in Japan, I was bullied based on my appearance, then I was bullied for the same reason when I entered the workforce. When I quit my job and went abroad, the discrimination based on my looks stopped, so I decided to study abroad there for a year. – Keiko”

“I experienced sexual harassment in the workplace in Japan, it feels like it’s an environment for men. – Ebi”

Reason 2: Less sense of freedom to be yourself

Japanese society is strictly hierarchical and has a concrete set of rules—some which sometimes don’t seem to make a lot of logical sense and yet are set in stone anyway. For some Japanese people, life overseas can seem a lot less rigid.

“In Japan, it’s difficult for opposing points of view to be expressed. For example, in Japanese schools children are expected to eat all of their provided school lunch, but what if one student can’t eat pork for religious reasons? Other countries are much more flexible and accommodating. This is because certain other cultures have a more multicultural society which is more accepting of other people’s differences. – Ashtamatrikas”

“I’ve always been more of an individualist, so life abroad suits me better. Certain other countries have less sex discrimination and individuals have more responsibility for their own behaviour. It’s nice to be somewhere that takes life a little less seriously. – Fuyuko”

Reason 3: Concerns over children’s future

It seems that some Japanese parents are reluctant to put their children through the rigors of the Japanese school system which often involves a huge amount of cramming for standardised tests and conforming to a group mentality.

“I want my child to be able to live in any country which suits them. I’d like to raise them to think for themselves, which is why we’re living abroad as a family. – Ebi”

“We left Japan for our children’s future. They say the nail that stands up gets hammered down in Japan, but I want to encourage my children to stand up. It’s wrong to lump lazy people and motivated people together. – Chiiko Mama”

Reason 4: Sick of working in Japan

Many people who’ve moved from Japan to work overseas find themselves no longer willing or even able to return to the rigors and stresses of Japanese working life. Some find themselves at a loss when considering how to deal with Japanese honorific business language and the ins and outs of a Japanese company. It gets even harder for women, who are often expected to stop working in Japan after marriage.

“By the time I thought about going back, I was already past 30 and there aren’t too many women who are still working at that age in Japan. So if I went back, I wouldn’t be able to make a living. – Zsmpira”

“I’ve been in the US over 20 years at this point. In Japan, a woman with a university degree isn’t sought after as much as here. Here, I can make money to support myself with a good position. That’s why I took permanent residency. If I went back to Japan, I’d probably struggle financially. – Chatora”

Reason 5: Too used to living overseas

Reverse culture shock can be pretty tough, and for some people who’ve spent a lot of time overseas, concerns about being able to re-integrate into Japanese society can be enough to deter people from returning.

“It’s too much effort to go back and start over from scratch. Life is pretty comfortable here, and I’ve gotten used to the way things are done. I can’t see myself returning unless there’s some significant need for me to do so. – Kinugoshipeachy”

As expats ourselves, we can understand the troubles faced by some of the contributors to Madame Riri’s article. It’s always tough to make a big move, especially when you’ve gotten used to a different culture and begun to naturally drift away from your own. They say that the grass is always greener, which we’ve definitely found to be true. However, they also say that you can never go home again, which isn’t necessarily correct — some people just don’t want to.

Source: Madame Riri

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- “But we’re speaking Japanese!”: Humorous video confronts lingering stereotypes in Japan -- “If I don’t download free music, I’ll get bullied!” – IT worker’s experience with net-using kids -- “Business Nail” – the latest trend among young Japanese businessmen looking to get ahead

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66 Comments
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As the reality of Japan's veering to the right and the sheer struggle of catering to the sense of entitlement of the older generations hits home I think more Japanese will be taking this option, at least among those who have not been either indoctrinated to the safety and superiority of Japan or taught not to recognize what is going on. I have known Japanese overseas who have little desire to go back, and have known many in Japan who can't wait to leave.

22 ( +22 / -0 )

No way could I ever move back to America to live. I just do not fit in.

7 ( +15 / -8 )

Wait, are you telling me that there are Americans living in Japan who were/are unable to fit into their own culture and make a living, so they're teaching English from their 1DK until they become late middle age and realize that, gulp, THEY CAN'T GO BACK because they have no skill or likelihood of anything more lofty than running a register, have no retirement and couldn't go back anyway because they only have 11,470 yen in the bank?

-26 ( +7 / -33 )

Fukushima Daiichi could be a reason for leaving Japan for good too. An early entombment of the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant could have put a lot of peoples minds at ease.

0 ( +8 / -8 )

Reason 1: The discrimination can be too much to bear

I wonder, the discrimination for foreigners living in Japan is much worse I would say, and many stay in spite of it because maybe the foreigners have a better ability to either dismiss it out of hand or not let it get to them,

14 ( +16 / -2 )

Ok. As you may know, I lived in Japan for over a decade. I really liked it. I even considered there for a while staying permenantly. Going all Dabido Arudo and everthing. I still would like to part-time retire there if the wife and I can swing it. Y'know, Fall to Spring in Japan, and the other half of the year in California, or some como thereof. Summer is just unbearable for my low humidity California blood.

So, why did we leave? Two reasons: While I could put up with socially always being a panda, I would never want to have my children grow up in a society that views them as outsiders, second class. We though about international schooling and decided that it was not for us. The second reason is my wife really wanted to give living in the states a shot. And now that she is here, and flourishing, she doesn't want to go back. She enjoys the personal freedom, the physical space, and the wine too much!

So, perhaps I am typical of a certain set of expats here: its not that I can't handle living in Japan; its that my (Japanese) wife can't imagine herself living there any longer!

24 ( +29 / -5 )

I think Japan accepting mass immigration is inevitable. Of course they will be probably prefer Caucasians and NE Asians over other ethnic groups.

-3 ( +5 / -8 )

I think it's very individual and sometimes just a case of finding the ideal situation. I know some who have returned and others who vow they will never go back.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

My Japanese wife would like to return to Japan but here in the States she has a decent paying full-time job, one that allows her to feel good about herself. If she went back she'd be lucky to get her old part-time job at Uniqlo back.

23 ( +26 / -3 )

Dirk

Yep, Same with my wife. She does have some trouble here. First, it took her a long time to deal with the lack of kichinto she sees with too many workers here. She also marvels at the inverse relationship between how hard someone works and how much they complain about how busy they are.

Finally, she hates it when people litter.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

It all depends on the person. I knew Japanese nationals who loved living, working in the US. Reasons #2 and #5 really applies to them.

Then, there were those who just liked it (enjoy it while you can) and ultimately preferred their native Japan. Very few hated it.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

My local female (J) partner is getting bullied at work

That sucks. Is she from Kansai?

6 ( +7 / -1 )

I know a few Japanese people who have left and have no interest in returning whatsoever. But that said, they've only lived overseas for 5-10 years. I know that a lot of Japanese as they get older and have been overseas for a long time, start to feel the pull to return home. I can see it happening to me in reverse some day. I'm trying to build my companies to the point where I can manage them from abroad, so that I actually can move home some day if I want/need to.

Wait, are you telling me that there are Americans living in Japan who were/are unable to fit into their own culture and make a living, so they're teaching English from their 1DK until they become late middle age and realize that, gulp, THEY CAN'T GO BACK because they have no skill or likelihood of anything more lofty than running a register, have no retirement and couldn't go back anyway because they only have 11,470 yen in the bank?

No, I don't think they are telling you that.

14 ( +16 / -2 )

“I’ve been in the US over 20 years at this point. In Japan, a woman with a university degree isn’t sought after as much as here. Here, I can make money to support myself with a good position. That’s why I took permanent residency. If I went back to Japan, I’d probably struggle financially. – Chatora”

The company I work for has lost quite a few very highly qualified and very able women who went to work abroad. I remember one man at our company who just couldn't get his head around any possible reason why a Japanese woman with a PhD and fluency in English would want to leave a Japanese working environment.

9 ( +9 / -0 )

A Japanese student was telling me the other day that he would like to live and work abroad. The main reason he gave was that he does not want to support all the elderly people in Japan.

8 ( +10 / -2 )

I think it is much more likely to be women who will up sticks and leave. They seem much more adaptable than the men and probably have less to keep them in Japan. They probably are more in demand too, for various reasons.

As an example of the adaptability issue, when I ask Japanese what they miss it is likely that "the food" will be the answer. The men seem unable to make a stab at it even if the ingredients are available while the women just get on and do it, or learn how to.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

the above article supplies only female examples??? I work in JP as a company drone: it is boring and nonsensical but the check don't bounce.

I'd rather be a 'futurelsss Eikaiwa' worker than a 'drone'

Perhaps you've answered your own question, it seems men like you care more about their paychecks than feeling satisfied with their work and life. To use the example you and trouble brought up, there are some people in the world actually choose to teach because they find the work meaningful. They do not care to spend their days doing boring and nonsensical things.

10 ( +10 / -0 )

@trouble: in my 20s I worked for a number of years at a conversation school and could have easily, and happily, continued doing so if not for a few chance meetings that changed the way things went.

I'll never look down on it, nor the people teaching there. For me, for those years, it was about having a happy work-life balance, something a lot of office workers with higher salaries, perhaps, do not have.

Working five or six hours a day I had plenty of time to study hard, to exercise and train everyday, to read a good book, watch a baseball game from the States in the morning, and have a good lunch which I leisurely prepared. Did I save a lot of money? No, of course not. Are there bad schools out there that make people unhappy? Of course. Are there some good places that treat teachers well and give them the freedom to conduct good lessons? Absolutely. A life spent waking up happy, enjoying one's day with enough time to pursue hobbies and just enough money to do it with, and then going to bed, again, happy.

For some, that is a better lifestyle than logging twelve hour days doing more lucrative work saving money for a healthy retirement age that may never come. For those who do actually feel stuck in a school they don't like and do nothing to change it, well, things need to be changed. But you could say the same for any profession.

15 ( +14 / -0 )

The difference between Japanese and foreign expats is that one group can fit in well overseas, and the other can't. If you walk around New York City, you see people from numerous races and nationalities, and you never hear the word "foreigner". A Japanese person living in New York or LA, or London would be considered no different than someone born in any of these cities.

On the other hand, no matter how long an American or European lives in Japan, he will always be a foreigner. If you speak perfect Japanese, become a permanent resident, have a Japanese wife and children, you are still a foreigner, and you always will be.

Wait, are you telling me that there are Americans living in Japan who were/are unable to fit into their own culture and make a living, so they're teaching English from their 1DK until they become late middle age and realize that, gulp, THEY CAN'T GO BACK because they have no skill or likelihood of anything more lofty than running a register, have no retirement and couldn't go back anyway because they only have 11,470 yen in the bank?

There is more than a little truth to this statement, and many foreigners living in Japan find themselves more or less trapped here. Judging by the numerous thumbs-down, you have struck a nerve with many of the readers here.

Personally, I love being a foreigner, being able to live in Japan, but being able to stay out of the small cultural and professional box which most people are stuck in. I have been able to find opportunities, and a good life in Japan. Since the locals aren't all that keen on taking risks, or looking for opportunities outside working for a famous company, it leaves more for those who will.

17 ( +18 / -1 )

I have had these conversation often, most commonly with female former students. never know exactly what to say, except these points:

if you want to leave somewhere it is really useful to have a destination

if the fire gets is too hot, stay out of the kitchen

things can always be better and things can always be worse

boring = simple = safe (often/usually/something like that). It is still boring though.

interesting = difficult = eventually less interesting

if you leave it is useful if you can also come back again

good LUCK!
1 ( +2 / -1 )

I know a lot of Japanese women who live overseas having married a foreigner. I know far, far fewer Japanese men who live overseas. They miss small things, but overall seem to relish the lifestyles they have. I know many who live in Australia, and the work/life balance they have is the number one reason for their happiness there. They have quite strong Japanese expat groups as well due to the sheer number of girls there.

Not many of them ever talk of moving back to Japan.

10 ( +10 / -0 )

Tamarama JAN. 30, 2016 - 01:20PM JSTThey miss small things, but overall seem to relish the lifestyles they have.

Lifestyles are like fashion, they don't last very long. For foreigners in Japan, lack of full time job, most don't have job security. If you are planning to a house, and a have children, or saving for the future, this is very difficult. If you are planning for retirement, there is not much option. You might become desperate and end up starving. Problem in Japan is that most foreigner don't make enough money and lack of investment opportunities. Money means freedom and choice. Japan doesn't not offer much of option. Japan is a very expensive place to live.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

sfjp330

Right, I get that. But this article is about Japanese people living overseas - hence my comment.

6 ( +6 / -0 )

"They have quite strong Japanese expat groups as well"

And in England too...

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Tamarama JAN. 30, 2016 - 01:34PM JST Right, I get that. But this article is about Japanese people living overseas - hence my comment.

If you didn't know, it might be more related to lack of flexibility with ex-boyfriends or ex-husband, or family related matters. Most are happy with living in a culture of Japan.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

There is no compromise 'blood is thicker than water,' whatever the reasoning Madame Riri crystal ball, mystic madame meg reasoning. Stamp your feet, get angry, huff 'n' puff, just don't walk away for all the wrong reasons.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Interesting that not one mentioned the ridiculous crowds or incessant noise. Even after a decade, these have all but defeated me. But very good points made in the piece nonetheless!

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Personally, I love being a foreigner, being able to live in Japan, but being able to stay out of the small cultural and professional box which most people are stuck in. I have been able to find opportunities, and a good life in Japan. Since the locals aren't all that keen on taking risks, or looking for opportunities outside working for a famous company, it leaves more for those who will.

I agree fully. This environment has allowed me to create a very comfortable life for my family and I.

Interesting that not one mentioned the ridiculous crowds or incessant noise. Even after a decade, these have all but defeated me.

The crowds only get to me at Disneyland, or some other such place. Other than that I can handle it. The noise doesn't even register on my radar.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

wipeoutJAN. 30, 2016 - 02:25PM JSTA Japanese person outside London is not just going to blend in and be accepted as "one of us" everywhere they go. As I don't live in London, or spend much time there, what I've seen of how Asians are treated is based on other parts of the country. And what they get is a distinctly mixed bag.

What dose mixed bag mean? Race has significance, but it's more about your communication skills. If your able to relate to different cultures, I don't see what race has to do with it. Basically, you can make friends that are flexible with different cultures.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

"They have quite strong Japanese expat groups"

And the Japanese women, and they are mainly women, are quite HAPPY TO SAY WHY they have left Japan for good and will NEVER go back.

Well done to JT for reporting it!!

6 ( +6 / -0 )

And well done to you for such a valuable comment that furthers the conversation more than anyone else ever has, anywhere, at any time. Bravo!

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

there's nothing mock worthy about a persons profession and or salary as long as the person isn't committing a crime, or as long as they're paying their taxes, living within their means and not borrowing money from other people.

Yep.

5 ( +7 / -2 )

It all depends on your tolerance: In the US the job market is more friendly and there's generally a higher sense of freedom but you will have the NSA spying on you, lots of street crime (depends on area), and generally a lot of very obese people. Japan is a hell for working and people are very close knit and timid to try to be different but it has good food and (so far) no serious terror threats. Generally I would say it's easier for most people to live in the US (or other rich nations). On the contrary Japan is a place like no other.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Trouble: I have not met anyone in that sad situation in a long long time. Are you still in it?

Most expats I know here make more than my measly ¥11,500,000 a year.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

I remember one Japanese lady telling me that before she went to America for an extended stay that all of her friends told her the cultural shock would be extremely difficult, when she got there and spent a couple years there, she found that she enjoyed living in America very much. A couple years later when she returned to Japan, she couldn't believe all of the cultural expectations which were placed upon Japanese women that she had forgotten about (reverse cultural shock) and that her return to Japan was much more difficult on her senses than her 2 year stay in America.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

I think what ''trouble'' is saying is that he only has 11,470 yen in the bank.

Maybe you could help him out shonanbb ??

4 ( +5 / -1 )

When it comes to the business think again your opportunities are not in Japan being a foreigner. Sorry to say it but admit it's the truth seen it and have many friends who tried it and went back home saying only a fool would stay thinking they can totally convert and succeed in the robot world.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

I have never met a japanese man working for an international company, it seems they are only few. Big corporations prefer to hire asian woman than asian man. With a woman employee in a foreign company, the manager think : "we got our asian ! We will win", but with a man, managers think " who is that hobbit ? Is this the sushi delivery man". Japanese woman know that they can fin a good husband overseas ( even older ) and start a new life. Japanese men are not really popular outside japan, and like many asian people, will suffer of racism and hidden racial prejudice, except if he is an artist, if he opens a restaurant...

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

Well, most people who try in business don't succeed. That's nothing to do with Japan, and everything to do with the fact that starting a business is hard.

But that said, I know a number of foreign business owners in Japan. And the longer I have my businesses, the more foreign business owners I know.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

shonanbb

I think if you came across people from the Eikawa crowd they are earning around 3-4 million, which is a long way from your 11.5 mill, and a real long way from professionals working for banks or whatever on 15+. Even the better International schools here wouldn't pay much over 10 mill for experienced and long standing teachers.

I had a conversation with my sister in law recently who reckons 5 million yen would be about an average income for a 40 year old in Japan. Statistics show she is close:

http://nbakki.hatenablog.com/entry/Annual_Salary_by__Age

So, y'know. Keep your 'measly' income in context.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

For Japanese women who can speak English and/or have a foreign partner (from a developed country) living abroad is a no-brainer.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Not everyone's the same I guess, I have a Japanese female friend who speaks 5 languages, lived and worked in like 5 countries, with her experience and skills she can choose to go anywhere, and yet she settled down in Japan.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

"only a fool would stay thinking they can totally convert and succeed in the robot world"

A fool, or a LIAR!!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Personally, I love being a foreigner, being able to live in Japan, but being able to stay out of the small cultural and professional box which most people are stuck in. I have been able to find opportunities, and a good life in Japan.

Wish I could click on this a hundred times. It perfectly describes how I feel about living and working in Japan. Okay, so sometimes the feeling of not belonging here can get me down, but there is also the feeling of having an enormous amount of freedom that few people can dream about. Japan has been very good to me, and I intend to return the favour.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

I know a lot of Japanese women who live overseas having married a foreigner. I know far, far fewer Japanese men who live overseas. They miss small things, but overall seem to relish the lifestyles they have. I know many who live in Australia, and the work/life balance they have is the number one reason for their happiness there. They have quite strong Japanese expat groups as well due to the sheer number of girls there.

Most of my Japanese mates who are living in Australia, whether male or female do not want to go back due to the reason you mentioned. However, they struggle to get a permanent visa to stay due to their lack of English skills. In my opinion the main reason more women stay permanently than men is because women get married to Australian men and get spouse visas. I know many Japanese nationals who are living in Australia, but only three of them have permanent skilled visas. The rest, unless they get married to an Australian or get an employer to sponsor them, have to go back eventually.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Tessa

Great comment, as is the one you quoted.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

I think it all depends on where you are in Japan, where you go, and where you come from (in the case of foreigners). It also depends on who you are with, your job, etc. It sounds like truism, but in fact it is really hard to generalize when it comes to people lives. While the mentioned problems exist in Japan, in other countries (and different cities within countries) many different issues can arise. The discrimination thing for instance can vary a lot according to where you live and what kind of company you work for.

So Japan, as any other place, can be good or bad. It all depends on your condition and your personality.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Tessa: Your numbers are wrong on top scale teachers at international schools and bankers salaries.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Tessa

ditto for me - Great comment. Spoken as an American in Sapporo.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Unfortunately discrimination happens everywhere in the world. However discrimination can be confused with other terms such as prejudice and stereotype. It is important to differentiate between the three terms so that we better understand what we deal with in society. Stereotypes are images held in our minds in regards to certain racial or cultural groups, without consideration of whether the images held are true or false. Stemming from stereotypes is prejudice. The prejudicial attitude occurs when we prejudge a person, good, or bad, on the basis that the stereotypes associated with the person or group being prejudged are true. Discrimination is the combination of the terms mentioned above, but involves actually acting out with unfair treatment, directing the actions towards the person or group. Prejudice and discrimination do not just occur racially, but is found among gender, religion, culture, and geographical background. In the end you have to remember that prejudice is a result of attitude and discrimination is a result of action. At one point of our lives, we have all experienced a type of discrimination and it happens to everyone. Nobody ever said that life was going to be fair is what some of our parents taught us while growing up.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

I would love it if my international school salary was 10 million yen per month, unfortunately its not even close! Some school's salaries are on par with long term eikaiwa salaries.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

As another Japanese expat who did say sayonara to the homeland, I was looking forward to finding something I can sympathize when I was opening this article. Turned out I didn't. But that just means someone's life is different from mine even we share a significant life decision.

But as said in the article, grass looks greener. One has much more experience and insight about your country of origin than any other countries, on both good and bad sides, and particularly we, or I should say I, tend to focus on the bad side at the time of frustration. What I'm afraid is if I choose to live in another world because of too many negativities in your current situation, then I could end up doing exactly the same after spending years in the new world, trying to find the reason to dislike where I would be at that time. In this regard it was a bit unfortunate for me to find 4 out of 5 reasons why the author chose to leave Japan in this article sound far from being positive. I can understand why she did that. But when I'm in a similar circumstances I try not to just list up downsides. Maybe it's just a difference of what you value in your lives.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

shonanbb-8

Tessa: Your numbers are wrong on top scale teachers at international schools and bankers salaries.

I assume that's for me and I'm happy to be corrected. Where do you have them at?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

@Tamara: Yes, I made a mistake. I have friends and relatives working in international schools here in Tokyo. They do very well. If they are buying dollars or Canadian dollars now though, they are not in as good a position as they were when it was in the 80 range for exchange. Top Salaries are over 10,000,000 a year easily.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I am an international school teacher, our salaries are not over 10,000,000 yen. When Lehman Brothers went down expats were pulling their kids out of schools left right and centre. Enrolment is not what is was, a lot of schools were forced to scale back, and pay raises are nowhere in sight.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Who're the five guys on the side of the JAL plane in the photo?

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

shonanbb

Thanks for that. I know of the salary ranges for a couple of Schools around the place. ASIJ have very good packages starting from around 8.5 mill, St Mary's is up around 10,000,000 for top of the scale but most teachers would be on 7-8 mill. St Maur is 6.5 mill for 10 year+ experienced teacher but improves as the years pass. Regional schools like Hiroshima and Nagoya are in the 6 mill range.

Which schools are you referring to?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Tamarama, the salaries you mentioned are for those who have a Masters degree. If you do not your salary is considerably lower. At my school the top salary is 6 million, and we are not the lowest in Tokyo.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

I think if you came across people from the Eikawa crowd they are earning around 3-4 million

Wow, they make that much money? That's not bad.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

@turbotsat

Who're the five guys on the side of the JAL plane in the photo?

Boysband Arashi, not related to topic.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I'm American but I've been here 8 years. I agree with this list although I would add that everything in Japan is too expensive and salaries are too low for the world's 3rd largest economy. I'm planning my escape this year or next.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

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