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5 worst relationship mistakes

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Women are from Venus and men are from Mars, so it’s no surprise that we sometimes run into a few difficulties when trying to co-exist on Earth. There are some key behavioral traits you should avoid flaunting if you want to avoid relationship meltdown. Here are five of the most common relationship faux pas.

Mistake 1: Expecting a fairytale

A common pitfall is to treat your relationship as though it exists in a fairytale and then fly off the handle at the slightest blip when you realize you’re back in reality. We grew up believing that relationships were all about the perfect man, the perfect woman and a love story punctuated by a choir of singing mice – thanks for that, Cinderella – but it’s important to make the transition between fiction and reality if your relationship is to run smoothly. Expecting sparkling carriages and perfect women in our relationships sounds great but makes for a pretty disappointing shock when we find ourselves dealing with arguments and our other half’s morning breath. Keep your fictional mindset at bay when it comes to relationships and you will avoid one serious love life blunder.

Mistake 2: Cheating

When it comes to relationship mistakes, cheating is a serious deal breaker. Once the dirty deed has been done, the relationship has been tainted and you’re either a liar or a cheat, depending on whether you confess or not. If your partner cheats and you’re the victim, it’s going to lead to feelings of resentment, upset and anger, which isn’t a great foundation for a long and happy relationship. Cheating isn’t pleasant for either party and it certainly isn’t an ingredient in the recipe for a loving relationship. If you’re thinking about doing the dirty on your significant other, you probably shouldn’t be together in the first place.

Mistake 3: Not having a life of your own

Your relationship should enhance your life, not rule it, and feeling that you are unable to enjoy your time away from your other half suggests that your relationship is ruling your life. Other common indicators of this are that your plans are always dictated by what your partner is doing, you’re not seeing your friends and family as much as you used to and your future goals have taken a back seat. As much as you may love spending time together, too much of it can leave you both feeling fed up and eventually lead to feelings of resentment. While it’s important to make special time for your relationship, you also need to make sure you have time apart to miss each other and live your own lives – this makes it even more special when you see each other again and share the experiences you had when you were apart.

Mistake 4: Snooping

Thinking of snooping through your partner’s texts or having a sneaky peek at their Facebook messages? Hold your horses, because this is a whopping relationship mistake. Anyone who looks through their partner’s private messages or emails risks making their partner feel smothered and as though they can’t be trusted. This behavior rarely ends well either; snoopers have a habit of reading between the lines (or the texts, in this case) and blowing things out of proportion. A text from your partner to their boss – who happens to be a member of the opposite sex – that reads “okay, see you later” doesn’t mean “can’t wait to meet you for that hot date tonight” as it would through a snooper’s eyes. If you feel like you need to pry into your partner’s business, your relationship is headed for the rocks. If your partner is snooping on you, it may be time to have a word with them.

Mistake 5: Attempting to change someone

When you first met your partner, you were attracted to their laid back personality and ability to help you relax when you’re usually running around like a headless chicken. Now, you can’t get them up off the sofa to clean up their mess and you’re starting to wish your other half wasn’t so lazy. It’s common to start resenting the things that first attracted you to your partner as you advance into the relationship, but you either have to learn to live with it or part ways. If not, you end up trying to change that person by nagging at them all the time, which eventually leads to resentment and can grind you both down. While it may be worth having a word with your partner about what’s annoying you, you can’t make them change unless they really want to.

Read more on realbuzz.com

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11 Comments
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Number 1 and 2 are contradictory.

These days available women are a dime a dozen and for a women to expect her man to indefinitely resist the fruit of temptation is a fairytale hope.

-11 ( +0 / -11 )

These days available women are a dime a dozen and for a women to expect her man to indefinitely resist the fruit of temptation is a fairytale hope.

Most people call that commitment to a relationship. stay out of those if you just can't resist the mighty temptation or just be crystal clear about it from day one.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Normally I don't like these kind of articles but have to say this time, these points are pretty much spot on. Mind you, there are A LOT more than 5 serious mistakes you can make but this is a good start. While 'cheating' is often a mistake men will make (not just men of course), 'not having a life of your own' is one that women/wives are often guilty of enforcing on their husbands/partners. Watch out guys, once you get hitched, some women are all about making you feel guilty when you want to have fun. From experience I have learned that it always works out better, of course, if you can find a nice balance in which both of you can spend time apart having fun with our own friends. A little bit of time apart every week is definitely healthy.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

NeverSubmit: I really hope you are just trolling. Of course, some people can't resist temptation but they shouldn't be in a relationship. If a person finds someone they really love, they would be able to resist the temptation because they would either a) not be so tempted or b) know the incredible hurt that it would inflict on their partner and then themselves. I don't want a fairy tale marriage but I am sure that my husband would never want cheat because he cares about me and know it would deeply hurt me and out love.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

wow! this is a good list!!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Have coitus before your supposed to and see all the troubles individually come your way!

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

If a person finds someone they really love, they would be able to resist the temptation because ...

Exactly my point, you're making mistake #1. Assuming some guy will love you for 40 years and never taste fruit if it's offered to him.

Granted in the past (and in some cultures still today) that type of completely monogamous relationship was possible but for two reasons;

Women were bound by strict morals of chastity and refused men's advances.

Most men believed in God and feared divine retribution for their indulgences.

These days points one and two are both nonexistent, especially in big cities in the West. A healthy man in New York, London or Tokyo has an abundance of willing, immodest, young, single women to chose from. Any guy can walk into a night club and with a sliver of charm and a few drinks can easily have a woman for the night. Moreover, since women entered the workplace, men have the opportunity to encounter a variety of women daily which only serves to increase the chances of infidelity.

Contrast that with the Muslim world of today or traditional Christian world of the past, whereby a man couldn't even find the opportunity to be alone in a room with a young women and even if he did she would most likely reject his advances.

Men are beasts and they cannot control their carnal desires. That's been well understood in history and that's why most societies made strict rules to separate men from women otherwise trouble was bound to happen.

These days (at least in the West and especially in big cities), those taboos are defunct. It's a free for all for men and to expect a man to eschew from frolicking when so many beautiful women are available is a pipe dream.

-5 ( +0 / -5 )

I'd say these defeatist jabs at the male psyche have more to do with number 5 than 1 or 2. Can you get a man to truly have "eyes for only you?" I doubt it. I'll agree that men subconsciously, and sometimes openly enjoy looking for opportunity. But I refuse to believe that there exists no man who lacks the will to resist such temptations, so long as he convince himself that he cares about this partner.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

That's "has the will." Whoops.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

In a nutshell I'm saying that the way our lives are structured in the West, and especially in big cities, a monogamous relationship is near impossible, as the temptation and opportunities to stray are abundant.

-6 ( +0 / -6 )

In a nutshell I'm saying that the way our lives are structured in the West, and especially in big cities, a monogamous relationship is near impossible, as the temptation and opportunities to stray are abundant

Rubbish. All that says is that you shouldn't get married because you aren't suited to it. Marriage is the conscious choice to resist temptation. It's the realistic recognition that temptation and attraction doesn't cease to present itself suddenly because you are married, it is agreement between two people that you will forego the opportunities that will arise for the sake of your partner and your family. Unless, of course, you meet someone who says they will have an open marriage and you agree to that. If you can't make that kind of commitment, you either aren't ready, or haven't met the right person. It's a matter of self control, a strong will and care for the person you chose to marry.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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