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In recent years, the phenomenon of all-women gatherings (or girls-only party) has been becoming a major fad in magazines and on television. Many restaurants and cafes offer various limited time-only plans for women.
But why are such gatherings popular? Is it because women don't want men around, or is it because the women like to discuss topics that would be of no interest to men? Lifestyle website Excite News recently did a survey of women aged 20 to 40, who frequently attend girls-only parties, and asked them why.
“When it’s only girls, there is a different comfort level," said a 20-year-old office worker. "The kind of stuff that stirs the conversation is talk about love and sex.”
Some other comments were: “When girls come together, 90% is girl talk. A lot of it is talk on men we’re interested in” and “When it’s only girls, it’s heart to heart.” And “When men are around, the talk can be a bit dry;" "When girls come together, husband-bashing is sometimes well received;" "There are only men at the workplace, so once in a while you want to get together with the girls;" “When I got together with only single girls, we talk about how to deal with old age.”
These earnest remarks also were put forward:
From an office worker in her 30s: “Just because you only have girls getting together, it doesn’t mean that there will only be talk about love and sex;” “It is good fun when girls have a giggle, but when you think about it, a lot of the talk is about food.”
From a housewife in her 30s: “Whether it’s classmate friends, or hometown friends, when only girls get together, they can usually spend up to 3 to 4 hours at places like family restaurants. It’s not that having a man will put a stop to the desired conversation, but if a man is around, he’ll probably get bored, so we don’t invite him.”
From an office worker in her 30s: “Regardless if a man is present or not, the subject of the conversation will be the same. The intent was not to exclude the men, it’s just that during heated conversation between men and women, men will often not be able keep up and begin to get bored. You talk and talk, but you’re still not satisfied so you end up with: To Be Continued at Girls-Only Party!”
Some voices point out a purpose beyond the chatting, says Excite News.
“Only women will pay attention to the latest in bags and clothing for you. We get fired up about something the most when it’s only girls.” (30-something housewife)
“Girls-only is just a pretext for finding a sitter for the kids and going out for some quality time.” (30-something housewife)
“When we socialize with men, we end up going to the average izakaya every time. We cannot eat what we want to eat, nor go to the restaurants we want to. For a fashionable, gourmet, or newly discovered restaurants, girls-only is best.” (30 something office worker).
© Japan Today
10 Comments
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steve@CPFC
That sounds fun, a party talking about men, fashion, baking and other stuff women like. If it is on tv and in gossip mags you have to follow and be with the "in crowd". Being indepent is frowned on by most in modern society. I am sure there are a lot of better things women can do in their spare time, especially if married with children.
wytrox
Everyday is an all-girls party at my home. I have 3 daughters (aged 15, 20 and 22). All they talk about is what they want for dinner...
ihavegreatlegs
So boring.
Cos
Recent ? Always seen that in Japan. It's not a rarity in my country.
If I understand the readers it's weird because it's women but it's normal when it's men that gather to in all-men groups to watch base-ball, wrestling and cruise red light districts ? Why the double standard ?
"When we socialize with men, we end up going to the average izakaya every time. "
That's true. Many men are very limited. Propose anything different from the izakaya : Fine food ? Uhhh, I just want my yakitori with beer. Dancing ? me ? no way. Shopping, exhibition, museums ? Oh, I wait outside. Movie ? OK only if it's action. Well, they have wifes and girlfriends too, so the girls need to go out without them most times. Otherwise they'd have 2 nights out a year, one to see the Hanshin Tigers and one nomi-hodai in a beer garden. Even a guy like my Dad that goes to gourmet restaurants, will spend the day shopping for clothes and enjoys a esthe thalassotherapy week-end... he doesn't attend so much the girl parties/trips because his job is more important than a woman's job, and he is too busy.
bakabakabaka
I LOVE joushi-kais!! Most of my friends are women and to be honest, it is much more fun to get together with the girls than to get together in a mixed group. There's no pressure from the guys, and best of all, no smoking!!!
Good times all around. Although, how is this strange at all? Back in the US, I hung around my girls friends most often, and had sleepovers/trips/long weekends with them. Mixed get-togethers were only every once in a while. How is that odd at all? I think most girls/women hang around their women friends and go to restaurants/cafes/etc. Much, much more fun than some smoky bar where men will try to hit on you, regardless of whether you're wearing a ring or not!
ihavegreatlegs
I am usually curious, so when I see a group of older women, hanging out and having a good time, I often ask if I can talk with them, and they are often quite friendly. Pour me a beer or tea, offer me what theynare eating etc. This is evenings and afternoons. So many are smokers which is a turn off as I have acute asthma as do many people. Surf mist even gets me. But, most of these woman say they enjoy each others' company as their husbands work way too much, and come home late, exhausted, and just want to shower, eat and crash, because they got the grind the next day.
Most feel sorry for their husbands.
I do not know about the wives that have divorced or hubby lost his job, as they cannot afford to go out, but these women wish their husbands had more time to enjoy life.
NetNinja
The All-Girl Party. Men beware if your partner loves to go to these events and is even part of regular group of friends that meet. Most Japanese girls usually try to include themselves in as many groups as possible. I'd average it around 2 - 3.
You are not invited. It's not that they don't want you there. It's that they can be absolutely disgusting and don't want any male to see that. They have one face for you and one face for their friends. If they do bring their boyfriend or husband then that girl may not welcomed next time around.
My former GF invited to one. 8 girls at the table and 2 guys. There was definitely a feeling of tension in the air. To my surprise though, it was not because of my male pheromones. After the party was over I found out that one of the girls was cheating on the guy she brought to the table who was supposed to be her boyfriend. She cheated on him only HOURS before the event. Every girl at the table knew about it. (Jerry, Jerry, Jerry) And you thought Jerry Springer wasn't real. It's happens, Jerry just put it on TV.
It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't invited him and made him out to look like an idiot. They could've just talked about it as a confab then laughed and giggled as they drink more ripple.
My opinion of the all-girl party is this.....it's okay if they're gay lesbian (There is a strong lesbian community here) but if I met a girl who loved these events we most certainly can NOT be together. It's not really fair to the male.
As the male, you have a relationship with your GF, NOT all her friends. If you marry such a girl your marriage is between you and her, you didn't marry her social network. These women will open up about their relationships with all their girl friends. It's not fair. Next time you see them, her friends are silent, but seem to think they know everything about you.
Every man is different, some really don't care. Me, I wouldn't want my partner to discuss ANYTHING about me to her firends, what I eat, what I cook, how I sleep, how many hours I work....nothing. Ladies if you want to know if your friends respect your partner at all simply introduce them and give them a chance to ask questions.
These girl meetings do bring up topics of men's performance as well. Don't be fooled. There's no limit. I think these girls are sick. Putting your Johnson on the table to be discussed. Treat people like you want to be treated.
How would a lady feel if her partner put her on blast with all of his buddies while at a BayStars game. "Yeah, bro, you should see this trick she does with her toes" "Nah, man, she won't go down"
You could easily say: That's not the WAY J-girls speak and you know what.....I'd say you were right. They communicate on a whole different level. Lots of indirect messages but everybody knows what's for dinner.
Once again. I feel sorry for their husbands and their multiple boyfriends that they won't get a fair and direct relationship with their partners cause everything is being discussed in a Star-Alliance confab.
Frankly speaking, if you can't speak to your partner like you do with at a All-Girl Party then your relationship is over anyway. It's not a question of IF.....just when. Most -girls are much more honest with their friends than they're are with their partners. That's how cheating starts.
steve@CPFC
NetNinja; Are there really women like that it Japan? As one who does not go to pubs and bars i don't knwo about this stuff. As for my wife she has one close friend from childhood who she meets sometimes for lunch otherwise we go out together with family members or neighbours. If these are married women should they be behaving like this. Affairs? I have no time for anyone who behaves like this male or female.
Do women in Japan really go around in groups and behave in such a disgusting manner as Netnija suggests? If tehy do it is far away from my lifestyle and i am thankfull for that.
nath
Netninja: If you don't want your partner to discuss things about you, make her sign a non-disclosure agreement. Otherwise, what gives you the right to be such a control freak? Why even go out with her at all?
NetNinja
I'm not a control freak. What I ask for is only respect and consideration. None of this Kiss-and-Tell stuff at All-Girl-Parties.
I failed to mention that I broke up with that girl shortly after that party. Just I never told her that her firends behavior influenced my decision.
I can't support women who look down on men. An All-Girl-Party is something that happens everyday in Japan. Lunch time specials, then Friday and Saturday nights., trips to Korea and Hakone. Never once inviting men along and then taking a step further by making an excuse that blames the men. (They'll be bored). Women don't know what men like. They can never make such a claim.