Brits having less sex - but more variety, according to national survey

Less sex? Tell that to the Essex girls. I grew up in Essex, so I can tell you this survey isn't true of all Brits. Essex has a high teen pregnancy rate, while Manchester has one of the busiest STD clinics in the world.That sort of thing doesn't happen if you're making a spice rack instead of the beast with two backs.

Are these figures for the average number of monthly sexual partners or are they supposed to be lifetime numbers? If they are the monthly figures I suspect that some people must be exaggerating. I consider myself fairly successful with women but I have only had five sexual partners this month, and it is my third highest monthly figure this year. If it is supposed to be lifetime figures then the survey is obviously flawed. These figures cannot be calculated until the person questioned is dead because that person could start out on a sexual spree the day after the survey and end up with numbers in the hundreds.

So that means more Brit girls open to 3(or more)somes too?

There was another recent Brit study regarding the alarming increase in female alcohol abuse (drinking too much alcohol) over the past 10 years. As alcohol is well known to loosen inhibitions, it might be a contributing factor to the changing female stats - i.e. more partners, more adventurous?

There is a joke that illustrates our (British) performance, comparing it with that of Italian and French men:

Three men were interviewed about how they "do it," an Italian, a Frenchman and a Brit.

The Italian said, "After we do it, I cover her body in olive oil and give her an intimate massage - she floats one metre above the bed."

The Frenchman said, "After we do it, I cover her body with fresh cream and lick it off - she floats two metres above the bed.

The Brit said, "Well. We do it, like. Then I wipes me d**k on the curtain and she hits the roof."

Don't know why, but my wife really liked this joke.

@lostrune2: Well, let's put it this way: While in Secondary School, I caught a girl engaging in a threesome with two guys who weren't her boyfriend of the time. If you want to try it with girls like that, feel free, but don't expect too much. If you don't perform, she'll turn on you like a Praying Mantis. You would not believe half of the things I encountered growing up. Not just that girls are into, but what they tak about with their friends, the reasons they give for breaking up with a guy for example. It's pretty brutal. You'd be safer taking my route: searching for the very rare good girl who isn't a sadistic nymphomaniac.

But seriously, this survey must have some serious flaws. The age of the "first time" dropped sharply during my time at Secondary School, from 14 to 9 (no, I'm not joking. Of course, I can't verify, but somehow I don't doubt it either). The number of monthly sexual partners increased massively in the same time frame, from 3 to as many as 18 (that number was held by the aforementioned girl, who ended up bedding roughly 90% of all boys in my year during her time at that school). And, based on rumours and the sale of condoms between students, the frequency of sex seemed to increase quite sharply as well, by a factor that I was never able to accurately determine. But I estimate a sevenfold increase. That trend, in many parts of Britain at least, seems to have continued. Having less sex? Right, and I'm Tommy Cooper. Just like that.

@lostrune2: Well, let's put it this way: While in Secondary School, I caught a girl engaging in a threesome with two guys who weren't her boyfriend of the time. If you want to try it with girls like that, feel free, but don't expect too much.

No, no, the 2 (or more) girls doing the performing. ;-)

@lostrune2: I never encountered that personally, but I've heard (from both reliable and unreliable sources) that it is quite common in Essex, London, Manchester, Liverpool, Cardiff, Swansea, Birmingham, Wolverhampton, Brighton and Blackpool. I've also heard that a bag of chips gets you a Geordie. I can't confirm that, but in Essex, girls would trade their "services" for alcohol. Cider (being the cheapest) was the most abundant "currency" but Vodka was the most valuable. A litre of WKD gets you a sex slave, in essence. I use the term "slave" loosely and incorrectly here, because I really can't think what the actual term is. Glad I moved away from Essex in that regard, but I went from an area of nymphomaniacs to an area of racists and xenophobics. Just my luck.

When having sex, do Brits make the Mr. Bean faces?