Photo: Pakutaso

How much money are Japanese people willing to lend their romantic partners?

By Casey Baseel, SoraNews24

Being in a romantic relationship requires you to be willing to give your partner your devotion, respect, and affection. But does it also require you to give them a loan?

Japanese financial services company Clamppy recently conducted a survey of 300 men and women, aged 20 and up, asking them under what conditions they’d agree to give their partner a loan, how much they’d be OK lending, and how they’d feel if they never got it back. Let’s take a look at where the participants would draw the (bottom) line in their relationships.

“If your partner said ‘Lend me some money,’ how much you be OK lending them?”

  1. Between 10,000 and 50,000 yen (33 percent of respondents)

  2. Between 1,000 and 10,000 yen (20.7 percent)

  3. Less than 5,000 yen (20 percent)

  4. Between 5,000 and 10,000 yen (15.3 percent)

  5. Between 10,000 and 20,000 yen (6.7 percent)

Naturally, respondents’ willingness to lend money largely depended on why their partner was in need of a cash injection. When asked what reasons they’d be most likely to agree to open their hearts/wallets for, the top responses were:

  1. Living/lifestyle expenses (54.3 percent)

  2. Meal expenses (48.3 percent)

  3. Ceremonial expenses (43.7 percent)

  4. Tax/utility payments (32.3 percent)

  5. Shopping (79 percent)

The results run into some of the murky vagaries of the Japanese language. For example, the top response, seikatsuhi in Japanese, literally translates as “lifestyle expenses,” but people tend to have their own individual opinions on whether that means just the bare minimums of survival (food, shelter, clothing), or whether the term includes spending for entertainment and discretionary comforts.

Meanwhile, the number two answer, inshokudai, literally “drinking and eating costs,” refers to the cost of a meal out at a restaurant, not the expenses for groceries used for dining at home. Generally, though, Japanese couples treat one another when dining out, with one partner paying for the other’s meal. Even in those situations where couples did plan to go Dutch but it turns out one person didn’t have enough cash on them to cover their share, it’s far more common for one side to say “That’s OK, I’ll take care of it this time” than to loan the other person money so they can pay their half.

Oddly enough the number three response, kankonsosai, “ceremonial expenses,” is actually pretty straightforward, and mainly refers to monetary wedding gifts and bereavements, since giving an envelope of cash is the custom at both weddings and funerals in Japan, and in the case of the latter especially the sudden expense is something that can’t easily be planned for ahead of time.

Moving to the other side of the coin, when asked what reasons they would not want to loan their partner money for, the top responses were:

  1. Gambling (97.7 percent)

  2. Repayment of debts other than student loans (59.7 percent)

  3. Dating expenses (36.7 percent)

  4. Mobile phone bill (31.3 percent)

  5. Tax/utility payments (26.7 percent)

There was near-universal opposition to loaning money for gambling, and there’s an important distinction in that debt repayment was a separate response. In other words, “gambling” here is referring not to giving your partner a loan because they lost big and need help paying their rent this month, but to giving them a loan ahead of time so that they can make a bigger bet than they can with just their own money, something nearly every respondent was opposed to. Surprisingly, though, two of the 300 respondents actually chose “gambling” as something they would be willing to lend money to their partner for, suggesting they’re either extremely accommodating or especially confident in their partner’s luck and/or handicapping skills.

Next, respondents were asked what they’d do if their partners didn’t pay them back by the time promised, and their answers were:

  1. I’d set a new deadline for them to pay me back (58.3 percent)

  2. I’d give up on ever getting my money back (22.7 percent)

  3. I’d look into my legal options against them (5.3 percent)

  4. I’d tell their family about the situation (4 percent)

And last, if all else failed and they never saw their money again, would they continue dating the other person?

  1. I’d keep dating them, but possibly breaking up would be on my mind (65 percent)

  2. I’d break up with them (22.7 percent)

  3. I’d continue dating them just like I had before the loan (12.3 percent)

So after sifting through all this data…the whole situation looks really messy and murky, which sounds like a very good reason to, whenever possible, avoid adding a debt element to your relationship. Of course, as anyone who’s dated more than one person in their life can attest, every relationship is unique, and really the most important thing is to be upfront and honest with each other, and figure out what is and isn’t acceptable for you and your partner specifically.

All the same, though, you should probably be very careful about asking for some cash because you got a tip about a horse that just can’t lose.

Source: PR Times

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© SoraNews24

©2023 GPlusMedia Inc.

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Never involve money matter in the relationship. Feel pity? Then don't make yourself someone feel pity on you.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I only loan money to friends/partners that I don't expect to ever get back, and treat it as a gift more than a loan. If they pay me back, either directly or with some equilvalent exchange (a dinner as a thank you for a 5,000 yen loan) great. If not, I won't lose sleep over it.

Doesn't really matter if it is a romantic or platonic relationship to me, the position is about the same.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Tom DoleyToday  11:54 am JST

Over the years, I had 13 girls ask for money in Japan. Asked for the reason, all wanted to pay off student loans. On average, gave them a million yen each. Told them to keep it as I didn’t want to deal with a ‘loan’. I consider it as the best investment I’ve made in Japan.

I was never asked by any gf to loan or give them money.

I consider all of them great investments I made in Japan.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Maybe it's different when you're married or in a permanent relationship, not just dating.

We don't have 'his money' and 'my money', we have 'our money'. Some of it is in his name, some in mine, but we each have free access to the other's bank accounts and cash cards.

Of course we each have money for personal expenses that we don't need to 'justify', and if we need more we simply take what we need out of 'our money'.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Money and friends, don't mix!

0 ( +2 / -2 )

This "survey" doesn't seem to take into account perhaps the most important factor- How much money does the Lender have that can (or Lender is willing) to lend. A breakdown of monetary amounts, or reasons for borrowing don't mean much without it.

This really doesn't have much to do with Japan, unless it's being compared to figures from surveys in other countries. I think the author is "pushing it".

0 ( +1 / -1 )


Over the years, I had 13 girls ask for money in Japan. Asked for the reason, all wanted to pay off student loans. On average, gave them a million yen each. Told them to keep it as I didn’t want to deal with a ‘loan’. I consider it as the best investment I’ve made in Japan.

You know what they say about a fool and his money? Or were you a customer?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I would say anything less than 300,000 yen is ok, more than that we need to talk about what it’s for.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

I have 2 lady friends in Japan and have "given" them both $$ . Never a loan but to help in their daily living expenses. I know both and both live very conservative lives. I am older and have plenty to live on and a good pension. But, I would never knowingly give or loan money to anyone on "drugs" or who gambles or wastes their income any other way.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

According to various Japanese media, the nationally-held, maximum amount between 2017 - 21 was ¥4,000,000 ($36,500 U.S.).

Seems like ancient history now, but apparently some ‘private financial matter between private individuals’ relationships’ garnered a lot of media attention and overplay.

Perhaps this article is more of the residual carrion from the continuous turmoil needlessly inflicted on the couple, that are now choosing to move forward with their own lives ?

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Details remain ‘sketchy’ but one ‘private matter’ centered around such a loan. For those that may have missed the prolonged media coverage, a basic synopsis:

-“Both the family(mother & adult son) and the former fiance share the view that the fiancé provided more than 4 million yen ($36,500) mainly as living expenses to the family during the period he was engaged to the mother. In 2010, the mother became engaged with the man, but he broke off the relationship 2 years later. The 2 sides remained divided over whether the money was a loan or financial support. The former fiance was no longer asking for the money back and had no plan to change his mind about it.  

The son decided to pay the former fiance as a next step to move the issue forward partly due to a deadlock in their discussions, and the son wanted to pursue his own engagement to another, unrelated party to the financial matter. The son’s offer was to give the former fiancé the same amount his family had received from him during the engagement period.

According to the son’s statement, the former fiance offered to fully support the family, including financial assistance, and the mother repeatedly asked the man if he was sure there was no problem providing her money after she accepted it.  When their relationship ended in 2012, the mother told the man that she would repay the funds she received while they were engaged, but the man said he had “no intention to accept it back,”.  The son also noted that he had an audio recording of the man’s remarks.

It was the former fiancé that told a major, national Japanese newspaper in 2018 that it was the mother who asked for financial assistance and that she presented him with the specific amount she wanted to receive. “I’ve never said I gave her the money,” the man said. “I intended it as a loan.” -

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Luckily both Mr and Mrs Kipling are exceedingly wealthy so we never need to borrow money off each other. But if she needed some cash, it wouldn't be a loan.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Over the years, I had 13 girls ask for money in Japan. Asked for the reason, all wanted to pay off student loans. On average, gave them a million yen each. Told them to keep it as I didn’t want to deal with a ‘loan’. I consider it as the best investment I’ve made in Japan.

-8 ( +0 / -8 )

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