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Is it OK to split the bill on a date in Japan? Survey asks what women and men of different ages think

36 Comments
By Casey Baseel, SoraNewa24

You can’t buy love, but there’s a lot of spending involved in the search for romance. Whether you and your special someone are headed out to watch a movie, dance the night away, or dine on the 24th worst food in the world, dating comes with expenses, which raises the question of who should pay?

Japanese dating app Omiai recently conducted a poll of 217 men and 247 women who have a romantic partner, asking them for their take on the situation. While some might expect young women to be of the mindset that it’s the guy’s duty to pay, female respondents in their teens and 20s were actually the least likely to say they want men to pay for everything. That sentiment started rising rapidly among women in their 30s, though, and kept going up from there.

“I want the guy to pay for everything for me.”

● Women in their teens: 14 percent of respondents within age group

● Women 20-29: 11 percent

● Women 30-39: 21 percent

● Women 40-40: 30 percent

● Women 50-59: 44 percent

Screen-Shot-2023-02-17-at-8.08.50.png
Image: Pakutaso

Fortuitously for the women who want the guy to cover all dating expenses, the proportion of guys who said they want to do so was slightly larger than the women in their age group on the other side of that arrangement, with the exception of those in their 40s.

“I want to pay for everything.”

● Men in their teens: 15 percent

● Men 20-29: 16 percent

● Men 30-39: 30 percent

● Men 40-49: 26 percent

● Men 20-29: 48 percent

Meanwhile, the majority of women in their teens said their preference is to split the costs more or less evenly, which was also the largest response among 20-something women. The idea was significantly less popular among women in their 40s and 50s, however. Among men too, the even-split mentality also became less popular as they got older, with a smaller percentage of men than women wanting to do so in every age group except 40-49, where the idea was evenly popular between the two genders.

“I want to split the costs evenly.”

● Women in their teens: 67 percent

● Men in their teens: 55 percent

● Women 20-29: 48 percent

● Men 20-29: 36 percent

● Women 30-39: 40 percent

● Men 30-39: 26 percent

● Women 40-49: 26 percent

● Men 40-49: 26 percent

● Women 50-59: 25 percent

● Men 50-59: 14 percent

Overall, the responses show more willingness to split restaurant checks and other expenses among younger couples, with a gradual but steady transition to the man covering more and more expenses among older couples. It’s possible that this is because of a societal expectation that older men should have progressed far enough in their professional field to be making a comfortable enough living to be able to gallantly pay for everything on a date, and so individual women’s feelings changed as they themselves got older. It could also be, though, that the economy of today allows young women to earn more than the older female respondents did in their youth, and that from-the-start concept that men and women alike are members of the workforce might be eroding the idea that the guy should be the one to shoulder any date-related financial burdens.

And although they were the smallest responses for each age group, the survey did find some women who said they want to be the ones paying for everything on a date, as well as some men who said they want to be the ones being treated.

“I want to pay for everything.”

● Women in their teens: 2 percent

● Women 30-39: 4 percent

● Women 50-59: 2 percent

“I want the woman to pay for everything for me.”

● Men 20-29: 6 percent

● Men 30-39: 4 percent

● Men 40-49: 4 percent

So really, there’s no absolute answer to the question of if you should treat your date or split the bill, so the safe thing for a guy to do, especially early on, is to at least offer to pay, even if deep down inside he’s hoping his date will counter by offering to split the bill.

Source: PR Times

Read more stories from SoraNews24.

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© SoraNews24

©2024 GPlusMedia Inc.

36 Comments
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Times are very different now to when I used to date. There was no question that they guy would pay for a date, with the only exception being if the date was set up by the girl, which did not happen often as back then it was more normal for guys to chase the women.

I could have saved a small fortune if the bills were split back then as they are now. But thats progress I guess.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Elvis is hereToday 06:39 pm JST

I'd fight if it would help. But. You aren't going to like this. But. I seems most Japanese woman are quite happy to put up with the injustices they suffer. Why should I care about setting right it if they don't?

I don't think they are all happy to put up with injustice. I think there are many points of view among Japanese women, since women aren't a monolith. Some may be content to be held to low expectations, but others are very definitely not happy and want more.

I suppose you would have to ask yourself what you would prefer: a society where women who want to get ahead can do so, or a society where all women are held back. Then act accordingly.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

Rarely, when the woman suggested that she pay the bill, I would react in one of two ways

If she insists, say "I'll pay for this date; you pay for the next one."

Hit 2 birds with 1 stone - each gets to pay half, and ya got yourself another date, lol

1 ( +1 / -0 )

When I was into dating, 99% of the time it was me who asked for the date. And I always paid. But I was raised in a different era, when men assumed that responsibility. Rarely, when the woman suggested that she pay the bill, I would react in one of two ways - I'd take out a coin and say, "Let's flip for it," or say, "Let me pay half, or at least take care of the tip." Never got an argument. Often got lucky. But, it's a new era, and I don't date anymore, so I haven't a clue about how to behave.

Maybe girl_in_tokyo can make a recommendation. She's got a head on her shoulders that I respect.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Whoever asks for the first date should expect to pay for that first date

Subsequent dates can be negotiated, e.g. who decides where the next date would be

2 ( +2 / -0 )

So do you want to fight for equality or don't you? You can't have it both ways, you know.

I'd fight if it would help. But. You aren't going to like this. But. I seems most Japanese woman are quite happy to put up with the injustices they suffer. Why should I care about setting right it if they don't?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

InYourEyeToday 05:02 pm JST

No there isn't. That's be debunked multiple times. 以上。

No, it hasn't been "debunked" because it is fact. But again, if men want women to pay their fair share, then men should be for pay equality as well as for stomping out the sexism that holds women back from achieving those higher earnings.

In Japan in particular, women are fired for being pregnant, and in many cases won't ever get the chance to work in many higher-paying positions and professions due to sexism.

So do you want to fight for equality or don't you? You can't have it both ways, you know.

-4 ( +3 / -7 )

Yes, the old debate on gender roles in society… In fact, when we were young we men paid everything without questioning and we found partners, marriage and had more families and children, a stable society, healthy economy and age distribution pyramid. Now look at all those crazy gender and role change experiments and discussions of our newest era and compare the success rates for a very clear understanding.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Of course there is.

No there isn't. That's be debunked multiple times. 以上。

3 ( +5 / -2 )

InYourEyeToday 03:27 pm JST

There is no "gender pay gap".

Of course there is.

I mean, if you want equality, then let's have equality and pay women the same as men so that women don't have to rely on men to pay for dates. That way we all get what we want: women get financial independence, men don't have to worry women only want them for their wallet. Win-win.

-5 ( +3 / -8 )

Even expensive restaurants have cash checkout registers near the door.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

“ real talk..If I'll get something in return after dating, then I'll be more than happy to have have the bill in my tab. “

Um, something in return like what(?); a snickers bar(?)

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Glad you think so. Now how about closing that gender pay gap?

Indeed m, close it. But it's not the lad's fault. There should be more protests from who it concerns. Not the geezer holding the bill.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

I'd love to know where you take a date that involves paying at a 'register'.

-4 ( +2 / -6 )

There is no "gender pay gap".

1 ( +5 / -4 )

Generally agree...but I think its reasonable as a guy to pay say 2/3 of the time.

Must say, disagree with TonicandGin. Think all highly unreasonable. Also circumstances don't count. Dating a professional woman with a good income is no different from dating say a single mum or a student.

Do like the candid "pronoun drop" style of writing though. Very dignified, so not all bad really. But wishing posts had more content. Not just inner-thoughts and paraphrases.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

japancatToday 11:34 am JST

Equal rights means 'Equal rights' !

Glad you think so. Now how about closing that gender pay gap?

-9 ( +3 / -12 )

real talk..If I'll get something in return after dating, then I'll be more than happy to have have the bill in my tab.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

imho, this is a non-issue…;

communication is the key…; if she/he is really the one (I don’t mean the love of your life but… you know… someone special), you’ll talk about things that matter, you know… that are actually important…, you’ll open to each other/get to know each other, laugh with each other…, and then it happens(!)(!): you will both realize that you don’t care about who pays what…

(remember: communication is everything…)

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I had no problems with this. Sometimes, I picked up the main meal (especially if a favor was done for me), and or the lady will pick up dessort or a coffee. I'm pretty much flexible. My mom usually encouraged me to pick up the tab, but that was her. I'm more considerate, depending on the situation of the date.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

When I dated in Japan in the early 2000s Before I was married, when I dated I always paid first. After a while it was who was ever at the register first and weather it was any of my past relations or when I dated my wife we never thought about nor did we care who paid, we just enjoyed our time and the night out together.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

If you invite someone out for dinner then you should be prepared to also pay. I always did. These days, many of my clients take me out for dinner. I offer to pay but always declined.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Younger ones are more realistic these days. They know that just like them, teenage boys don't have that much money. Only young girls with sugar daddies want their men to pay for them. But majority of the teenage girls date guys around their age, so it is pretty understandable why they are more receptive to the idea of split bill.

Older women have "been there done that" and are wiser. They know that a man who cannot afford to pay a dinner or whatnot is somewhat not worth keeping as their body clock is ticking!

5 ( +5 / -0 )

I usually go first to the register, pay my part and wait in there for them girls to pay for her part.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Equal rights means 'Equal rights' !

12 ( +12 / -0 )

A relationship is not a sponsorship. If he/she never pays, run away.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Women 40-40: 30 percent

> > ● Men 20-29: 16 percent

● Men 30-39: 30 percent

● Men 40-49: 26 percent

● Men 20-29: 48 percent

Say what?????

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

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