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Is the ideal spouse someone who’s your best friend or your 'war buddy'? Japanese singles sound off

10 Comments
By Casey Baseel, SoraNews24

Matchmaking service Tameny specializes in what Japan calls konkatsu, helping marriage-minded singles find a lifelong romantic partner. But even if everyone who uses the service is hoping to get married, they might not all be hoping for the exact same type of marriage.

So Tameny recently conducted a survey asking 2,400 unmarried men and women between the ages of 20 and 49 what their image of the ideal married couple is. Let’s take a look at the top five results.

5. Big sister-type couple (127 votes)

Specifically, this category is referring to a couple where the wife is older than the husband by at least a few years. “I’d like a wife who takes charge,” said one 21-year-old man in picking this as his ideal, whereas women who see the appeal of this age differential included one who feels “Younger men have more flexible attitudes and communicate openly and directly.”

4. War buddy-type couple (251 votes)

“War buddy” started getting some traction as a couple archetype last year when newlyweds actor Suda Masaki and actress Nana Komatsu used the term to describe their relationship. For the survey’s purposes, the husband and wife don’t have to be working in the same industry, but the war buddy metaphor implies that they’re both working towards some sort of shared or similar goal, and the mutually recognized aspiration and experiences that come from it are a cornerstone of their relationship. “Going through those highs and lows together builds understanding of each other and a sturdy relationship,” said one man looking for a war buddy bride, while a woman who chose this as her ideal declared “Romance and excitement are important too, but I want to spend my days with someone who I have the same direction in life with.”

3. Devoted-type couple (453 votes)

The survey defined devotion as “always thinking of your romantic partner,” and respondents saw the potential for this mindset to accentuate positives and eliminate negatives. “My ex-husband cheated on me, and that’s why I’m divorced now,” said one of many who want to marry someone with whom potential infidelity won’t be a concern. “A relationship where both people are considerate of each other creates a comforting, reassuring home for their hearts,” waxed another woman who cast her vote for this category.

2. Respectful-type couple (599 votes)

“Respectful and supportive of each other” is how the survey defined this archetype. “If all you have is romance and physical attraction, as the years go by your relationship will start to become strained, so respect has to be a ubiquitous part of a marriage,” opined one woman. “If you don’t have a sense of mutual respect,” added a male respondent, “you’re going to be rude and disparaging to each other when you eventually have a difference of opinion.”

1. Best friend-type couple (690 votes)

More than any other model, the one that appeals to the survey respondents the most is a couple that feels like good friends to one another. “I want to marry someone who I can always be laughing and having fun with, like a good friend,” explained one male respondent. “No matter what happens, we’d be going all out, whether we’re having fun or having a fight or making up,” envisions a woman who also picked this as her ideal.

Several other respondents in the best-friend camp mentioned that being supportive and understanding are also qualities they associate with a best friend. One could argue, though, that those also apply to “respectful” and “devoted” couples, and the structure of the survey, in which participants picked only one response, means there’s likely some crossover in which the surveyed singles would like aspects of more than one single category. With Japanese social pressure to marry and have children becoming progressively less intense, though, it’s no surprise that a primary goal for a lot of singles is for marriage to enrich, first of all, the lives of the two people getting married, and there’s definitely an upside to finding a spouse who makes you feel as happy and secure as a best friend does.

Source: PR Times

Read more stories from SoraNews24.

-- Over half of Japanese people in survey only dated three or fewer people before getting married

-- Should people in Japan be allowed to keep their surnames after getting married, survey asks

-- Japanese guys way more enthusiastic about moving in with girlfriends than vice-versa, survey says

© SoraNews24

©2022 GPlusMedia Inc.

10 Comments
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As long as they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the bottom, I'm fine.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Japanese and their silly obsessions with ‘taipu’. And entertaining read but don’t know if actors & actresses are the best role templates for future marriage success, for example Watanabe Anne and whoever that ex was.

4. War buddy-type couple (251 votes) started getting some traction as a couple archetype last year when newlyweds actor Suda Masaki and actress Nana Komatsu used the term to describe their relationship, the husband and wife don’t have to be working in the same industry, but the war buddy metaphor implies that

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Another example: “they’re both working towards some sort of shared or similar goal, and the mutually recognized aspiration and experiences that come from it are a cornerstone of their relationship.” - Ask Pitt and Jolie if they continue to see eye-to-eye on child rearing, etc.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

I had to read this to find out what a "war-buddy" couple was. Now that I have, I don't think it's a description that's going to last. Unlike marriages in the (1) (2) and (3) category, which is where most people would hope to find themselves.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

So long as they remember,

Your money is her money, and her money is…… her money.

For her…. richer ….. for him….poorer.

Deluded people! LoL.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Maybe its a cultural thing, but there are a lot of these "describe your ideal partner" things. They're always asking women how much a prospective husband should earn.

I say this because they never ask how much would your ideal job pay, how many hours, how many days off, how much grief from coworkers when you take a day off etc. They are also never ask how much a house or rent should cost, how many rooms it should have, how much a few drinks and snacks at the izakaya should come to, what time the last train should be, how much the kokumin nenkin state pension should be, etc. etc. The main thing out there that has an ideal to live up to is a romantic partner or partner in marriage.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

I was once told by a very elderly Japanese lady. If you can tick these three boxes you have a happy marriage. Money, the bedroom and a clean house. First I thought it was ludicrous. Over the years I found she's right

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Unfortunately, what people want, and what actually works for them, can be very different things.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Send me a 40-something Japanese woman who likes sex and more importantly lets me do the cooking. Then, I'd be the happiest little clam on earth.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

No comment

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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