Japanese Funerals (sogi) follow centuries-old traditions influenced by Buddhism and cultural beliefs about life and death. These solemn ceremonies emphasize deep respect for the deceased and their family. If you’re attending a Japanese funeral, understanding proper etiquette, dress code, and expected behaviors is essential. This guide will help you navigate the experience with respect and awareness.
Japanese Funeral Customs and Traditions
Structure of a Japanese Funeral
What to Wear at a Japanese Funeral
Japanese Funeral Customs and Traditions
In the past, Japanese funerals were deeply rooted in Buddhist and Shinto traditions. They were often held at home or in temples. Cremation became widespread during the Edo period. Funerals were community-driven, with extended family and neighbors playing key roles in supporting the grieving household. Ancestral veneration was also important, reinforcing the belief that the deceased remained spiritually connected to the living.
Today, while many traditions remain, funerals have adapted to modern lifestyles. Most take place in funeral homes (sogijyo) rather than homes or temples, and ceremonies are often shorter and more structured. While Buddhist rites are still common, some families opt for secular ceremonies.
Cremation remains standard, but with cemetery space limited, many families place ashes in family graves or temple ossuaries. In recent years, alternative funerals — such as tree burials or direct cremations for simpler, cost-effective options —have gained popularity. Nevertheless, respect for the deceased and the importance of remembrance remain central to Japanese funeral culture.
Structure of a Japanese Funeral
Japanese funerals follow a structured sequence rooted in Buddhist customs:
The Wake (**Otsuya)**
Held the night before the funeral, the wake is a gathering of close family and friends. A Buddhist priest chants sutras, and attendees offer incense at the altar as a sign of respect.
The Funeral Ceremony (**Kokubetsu-shiki)**
The main ceremony is held the following day at a temple, funeral hall, or family home. A Buddhist priest leads the service with sutra recitations, and guests offer incense at the altar.
Cremation (**Kasou)**
After the ceremony, the body is cremated, following Japan’s long-standing tradition. The remains are typically placed in a family grave or kept in a butsudan (Buddhist altar) at home.
What to Wear at a Japanese Funeral
Unlike Western funerals, where dark but varied formal attire may be acceptable, Japanese mourning dress (mofuku) adheres to a traditional and understated style.
Attire for Men
- Black Suit and White Shirt: Wear a plain, matte black suit (not navy or dark gray) with a crisp white dress shirt.
- Black Tie: Choose only a solid black tie; avoid patterned or glossy ties, as they are inappropriate.
- Jacket: Wear your jacket at all times, regardless of the temperature. Removing it may be considered disrespectful.
- Shoes: Wear black leather shoes with a matte finish. Avoid anything flashy, including shiny buckles or visible logos.
- Hair and Grooming: Keep your hair neatly combed in a simple, conservative style. If you have facial hair, ensure it remains well-groomed.
Attire for Women
- Clothing: Wear a conservative black dress, kimono, or pants with a formal black blouse. Dresses should have a high neckline and reach at least knee length.
- Stockings: Black stockings or tights must cover the legs. Bare legs are inappropriate.
- Shoes: Choose closed-toe, low-heeled black shoes. Avoid patent leather or shiny finishes.
- Makeup and Nails: Keep makeup subtle, using neutral or soft pink lipstick — avoid bright colors or glitter. Nails should remain unpainted or in dark, muted shades.
- Hair: Tie your hair back neatly, preferably in a bun, with minimal or no accessories.
Accessories and Personal Items
- Jewelry: Wear only a wedding ring and a simple pearl necklace. Pearls symbolize tears and mourning in Japanese culture. Avoid any other jewelry, especially gold or flashy pieces.
- Handbags and Accessories: Choose handbags, umbrellas, and handkerchiefs in black or very dark colors, with no visible patterns or decorations.
Children
If children attend, they should also wear black or dark-colored clothing in a subdued, formal style.
Funeral Etiquette in Japan
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2 Comments
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Hercolobus
Good information
Laguna
A touching tradition: if you were close to the deceased and shared an item of sentimental value, bring it along and place it in the coffin. This will be cremated with them and follow them to the afterlife.