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Japanese women list top 10 lies they can spot the second a guy says them

56 Comments
By Casey Baseel, RocketNews24

It’s often said that honesty is the best policy. Anyone who’s spent much time in the dating pool, though, will tell you that not everyone communicates in such an upfront and open manner.

From well-meaning fibs like “Hey, it’s been fun” (when it really hasn’t) to more alarming lies like “I have no idea how your sister’s panties ended up on my kitchen floor!” some women feel they’ve been exposed to so much dishonesty from men that they’ve become experts in detecting it. Seeking to find out the phrases tip them off, a recent survey asked Japanese women which words they know aren’t true as soon as they hear a guy say them.

To compile the results, Internet portal Livedoor News spoke with 441 women, ranging in age from 19 to 78 years old, asking “Is there a phrase you can’t trust if it’s coming from a guy?” Before getting to the top 10, we should point out that over 70% of the respondents don’t deal in absolutes, answering “no” to that question.

On the other hand, that leaves 28.8%, or 127 women, whose warning bells do get set off by certain lines, and below are the most common responses.

  1. “You’re beautiful. / Kirei.” (two respondents)

“So many guys act like it’s no big deal to say this, so I can’t believe them,” explained one 29-year-old survey participant.

  1. “I’ll do it later. / Ato de yaru.” (two respondents)

The respondents didn’t specify what they wanted done, but apparently the fact that the men in question never did it is enough to convince them that, for men, the only things really worth doing are worth doing right now.

  1. “You’re the only one… / Omae dake…” (three respondents)

Encompassing “You’re the only one I want to be with” and “You’re the only one who makes me feel this way,” next up is a phrase that can be completed in multiple ways. And in the eyes of these respondents, the guy saying it probably has a different finisher for each girl he tells it to.

  1. “I’d never cheat on you. / Uwaki nante shinai.” (five respondents)

“Only guys who are cheating say this,” explained the 22-year-old administrative assistant who thinks some men doth protest too much.

  1. “I’ll never do that again. / Mou nido to shinai.” (five respondents)

“Oh yes he will,” laughed the 23-year-old insurance company employee who designated this line as a red flag. And if he does, he’ll probably say the same thing then, too.

  1. “I love you. / Ai shiteiru.” (eight respondents)

To clarify, Japanese has two ways to say “I love you.” Well, actually a lot more than two, but for now, let’s stick to the two major ones.

First, there’s "suki desu," which can range in intensity from slightly more than platonic attraction to full-on romantic love. More cut-and-dried, though, is ai shiteiru, which in a dating context is only used for romantic love. It’s this latter, more serious declaration of emotion that these respondents say they know isn’t true when they hear it.

  1. “You’re cute. / Kawaii.” (11 respondents)

Surprisingly, “You’re cute” outpaced “You’re beautiful” on the survey, and by a pretty wide margin. The likely explanation is that kawaii (“cute”) is the more common go-to compliment in Japanese society, encompassing a wider spectrum of warm feminine attractiveness than its English equivalent is usually used for. That prevalence itself that made these respondents feel the words aren’t genuine, with a 27-year-old IT worker dismissing it since “Everyone says it as a meaningless social nicety.”

  1. “I’ll call/email/text you. / Mata renraku suru.” (17 respondents)

Speaking of social niceties, here’s another. “It’s not just with men,” adds a 27-year-old medical worker. “In general, I don’t believe people when they say this.”

  1. “Let’s go out for dinner/a drink sometime. / Kondo shokuji/nomi ni ikou.” (18 respondents)

As always, the devil’s in the details. “How about dinner on Friday?” That’s a sure sign that he’s into you. But “sometime?” Once they hear that, these women know what’s coming, and it’s a lot of waiting for an invitation that’s never going to come.

  1. “Absolutely… / Zettai ni…” (27 respondents)

The top answer actually overlaps with many of the lower-ranking responses. Offered as possible ways to complete the lie were “I absolutely won’t cheat on you” and “I’ll absolutely make you happy.” These respondents, though, ultimately, definitely, won’t believe a guy who lays those lines on them.

While being deceived is always unpleasant, looking over the list, there seems to be a catch-22 going on in earning some of these ladies’ trust. Sure, it’s definitely suspicious if a guy, apropos of nothing, suddenly mentions, “Oh, by the way, I would never cheat on you.” But while many of these phrases can be incorporated in painful lies, some of them, if said earnestly, are sort of required for a functional and happy relationship.

For example, having a guy declare “I love you,” before you’re done with the appetizers on your first date would probably be pretty creepy. But on the other hand, if you’ve been going out for months or years, immediately assuming he’s being dishonest when he says those three special words (or two, in the case of ai shiteiru) is going to sabotage your chances at lasting romance. Likewise, you’re kind of shooting yourself in the foot if every time a guy says you look nice, you conclude he’s a liar (not to mention potentially wrecking your own self-esteem, as far as your appearance is concerned).

Taking a closer look at the data, while the women surveyed were in the wide age range of 19 to 78, it seems that many of those who answered “yes” to the question of if there’s a phrase they can’t trust are in their early 20s. Getting stung by a lie once or twice at such a young age can be traumatic, and without the perspective and experience necessary to judge people’s trustworthiness on an individual basis, it’s easy to see how many might jump to a blanket ruling of “Guys are always lying if they say this!” Here’s hoping, though, that those emotional scars heal as they move away from the bottom age groups covered by the survey.

Source: Livedoor News

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Nine reasons why Japanese men hesitate to say “I love you” -- 10 simple phrases for breaking your Japanese boyfriend or girlfriend’s heart -- Cheaters beware – 30 percent of Japanese women have checked their boyfriend’s cell phone

© Japan Today

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.


56 Comments
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Best of all, the responses double as a list of ways to spot paranoid harpies.

30 ( +33 / -4 )

And the Top FIve They Can't Spot....?

8 ( +12 / -4 )

Should be retitled "top 10 lies women think they can spot." Women can be defensive, and those who act cynical and knowing about men are usually basing their "insights" on the 2 or 3 guys they've been involved with. Ironically, the women who say they can catch out liars easily are usually the ones who are most susceptible. It's a combination of bad experiences and a defensive wall against future bad experiences. It's the ugly flip side of naivety.

20 ( +22 / -2 )

Damn...I never lie with those ten. :/ Well, I've never said 5,7,8 because I've always been single.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

I've used 5 of them. Some of these work the other way too.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

I think you have several of these BACKWARDS. The WOMEN end up NOT calling or going out for dinner....for starters.

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Number 9, definitely.

Number 5 depends on how and when it's said. Most Japanese men make it sound false even if they mean it, because they're being きざ when they say it. Be more natural and tell the girl 好きだ, it sounds much more natural.

Numbers 2 and 3, not only men. Take it as 'See ya around', whoever is saying it.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I would be more incline to think that a lot of the women in this survey have self esteem issues.

6 ( +9 / -3 )

In the interests of equality, how about "Top 10 lies guys can spot the second a Japanese woman says them"?

2 ( +6 / -4 )

I have to agree with the women on most of these, but telling someone she is cute or beautiful is something I only do when I think it is true. Not believing me is a sign of insecurity. Further, being cute 1 day doesn't mean you are always cute.

Telling a girl I love her depends on the situation. Are we in bed with less than a month of dates OR have we been exclusively dating 2-3 months? The first is a man trying to get laid. The second is my heart talking.

6 ( +9 / -3 )

Seems there are a lot of "players" in the "game".

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Ooh, I've been burned by #2 a few times! "Some time" is the best clue.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

It's no surprise that men constantly lie about the silliest things and love to embellish their image, like to brag and exaggerate who they are and believe that material things impress women. Even though I am a women, I am quite aware of the twisted workings of a man's mind. I grew up with boys, and so, it comes naturally to me. Fortunately women are blessed with intuition and a whole lot of intellect. Basically men simply cheat and lie because they can. Also often a man is not exactly lying, but is not completely honest either. He will say the acceptable part of the truth and very conveniently forget about the unacceptable part of it. However men should understand that women do know about their lies a lot of times but they either enjoy it or cannot be bothered to get them to fess up. Just don't lie excessively because you may get in trouble one day.

-4 ( +4 / -8 )

Can I say something what's left to say to women ? If women's has so much problems with these phrases then it's mean that they would be preferring sign language .

4 ( +9 / -5 )

How about the Top 10 list of WOMEN'S lies to Men.... How come it's always the MEN? most women are not innocent, many are predators too.

15 ( +17 / -2 )

Ive used all of them except 5 and 6. Only get used as answers to questions, never lead a conversation off with them.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

As if women didn't lie approximately 300% to 1000% more than guys do ...

5 ( +9 / -4 )

Here are some lies Japanese women say that I can spot immediately:

~This Louis Vuitton bag was a present from my dad.

~I don't need expensive presents... just being with you is enough.

~It's OK. I won't get pregnant.

~I want to continue working, even after getting married.

~I'm meeting (insert Japanese female name here) this weekend so I can't see you.

~Don't worry. It's nothing. He's just a guy I knew at high school.

~I'll pay next time.

etc.

21 ( +25 / -4 )

“Let’s go out for dinner/a drink sometime. / Kondo shokuji/nomi ni ikou.” (18 respondents)

As always, the devil’s in the details. “How about dinner on Friday?” That’s a sure sign that he’s into you. But “sometime?” Once they hear that, these women know what’s coming, and it’s a lot of waiting for an invitation that’s never going to come.'

How perceptive. Is this that 'feminine intuition' I've heard about? The amount of time I wasted as a teenager by the phone convinced that the woman who said that was about to call and wanted to tear my shirt off with her teeth....

2 ( +4 / -2 )

A survey of 441 women to base what an entire country of women think......really scientific.

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

Actions speak louder than words....... I always retort I know I'm not the prettiest or cutest , which explains why I'm the only one talking to you.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

'~It's OK. I won't get pregnant.'

Back home in the UK it was suspiciously frequent false alarms about being pregnant. My flat would've looked like the scene from Monty Python's 'Meaning of Life' if one girlfriend had been sincere. She didn't have much confidence in condom manufacturers.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

And we wonder why men prefer electronic women.

3 ( +7 / -4 )

Hi scipantheist, the mind boggles..... Humbly gentlemen, please take into consideration a cautionary risk assessment, explosion caused by unsuitable electrical apparatus or static electricity igniting flammable vapors can cause considerable bodily harm.....Cordless Caroline is not all she seems.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

I wonder if people seriously think this is some list limited to Japanese women, as though they are differently evolved than other women, and not just a list of things men and women in general can doubt when their partner (or friend, or even coworker) says.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

choiwaruioyaji

You nailed it bro! hahaha exactly!

especially the

~I want to continue working, even after getting married. and ~Don't worry. It's nothing. He's just a guy I knew at high school.

it's funny that Many Japanese women I know mostly cheat on their High School male friends

6 ( +8 / -2 )

Japanese women list top 10 lies they can spot the second a guy says them

Looking at the number of people that responded to the survey, this headline should have read "A small group of Japanese women list top 10 lies they can spot the second a guy says them".

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Number 10 is a bit unfair. I mean, I can see how it can be used wrongly, but it isn't always a lie. I've never said it unless I meant it.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Looks like those women used to deduct these statistics are ever only around liars.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

"Japanese HAVE two ways to say “I love you.”"

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

Here are the five non-lies that Japanese women cannot spot a guy saying:

Yakusoku suru koto wa dekimasen. (I can't promise.) Kohi o nomimashou! (Let's have a coffee!) Anata ga tsukarete mieru! (You look tired!) Sukaato o chakuyou shite kudasai. (Please wear a skirt!) Kami ga nagai seichou sasete kudasai. (Please let your hair grow long!)
-3 ( +5 / -8 )

Kami ga nagai seichou sasete kudasai. (Please let your hair grow long!)

The reason Japanese women would not spot this one is because they would not understand it.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

choiwaruoyaji: you have forgot about: its been at the back of the wardrobe for ages! Ive never done this type of thing before (sexual ref) My periods don't affect me, I've got a headache tonight.

If we were do undertake "lady lies" survey I think that the last one would be on the top of that list

1 ( +4 / -3 )

I find the whole article to be mistaken. All of the supposed lies above can be said honestly and can be true. Has it really come to the point where we decide whether people are lying or not by set phrases? It seems bizarre to me.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Top 10 Lies Women Make to Men:

Money isn't important.

Sense of humor is more important than money.

I dont want a man to pay for me.

I love you no matter how much you make.

It was on sale.

I don't want to be a housewife and live off of my husband.

We make financial decisions together.

I bought it for both of us to use.

What's your credit card doing in my purse?

I'll pay you back.
9 ( +15 / -6 )

the funniest lies I hear from men are lies of omission.

First date: "I'm recently divorced."

Second date: "Actually we're not officially divorced yet, just separated."

Third date: "Actually we're still living under the same roof for the sake of the kids."

Needless to say, there is no fourth date.

8 ( +11 / -3 )

Kami ga nagai seichou sasete kudasai.

What kind of weird Japanese is this?

1 ( +4 / -3 )

"I have no idea how your sister's panties ended up on my kitchen floor!" That one can never be explained.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Not being Japanese, I'm a pretty good liar. So when my J friends naively try to lie to me, I know it instantly due how poorly it is carried out.

In order to make a good lie, you've gotta believe it yourself! And it's not a lie if you believe it!

-3 ( +5 / -8 )

4.Sukaato o chakuyou shite kudasai. (Please wear a skirt!) 5.Kami ga nagai seichou sasete kudasai. (Please let your hair grow long!)

Thumbs down all you want. The above Japanese is not natural.

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Here are some lies Japanese women say that I can spot immediately:

here's a few more that have set off my BS detector...

I've only had 3 cookies. I'll be ready in 20 minutes. / I'll be there at 8 o'clock. It won't fit. You're not going bald! / I actually like men with a little belly fat. I can drink a lot! / I can handle my alcohol. I'm sorry, the phone on my battery is dead and I don't know my number. All my friends say you're handsome. (okay maybe this one is true) You're the first gaijin I've ever dated. I don't mind if you ____ / It's not a problem.

in hindsight, it would seem some of these are not cultural specific...

5 ( +6 / -1 )

Ok I'll bite:

Top 10 Lies Women Make to Men:

(1) Money isn't important.

To me it's not a lie, because I earn enough money by myself.

(2) Sense of humor is more important than money.

I can't bring that, sense of humor is not more important than money, maybe if you change "love" for sense of humor it depends

(3) I dont want a man to pay for me.

Ohh that's a flat out lie!, even if I make much more money I want some things paid by the man (a dinner, a gift - ot doesn't mean it has to be expensive tho´)

(4) I love you no matter how much you make.

This one must be put into context, if you have 2-3 years of relationship it could be a lie, but if they are together for a long time, it's not a lie. The time frame would vary on the woman. (* as a note, if the woman earns more money than the man, it could also be a lie, since it creates self-esteem issues on the man)

(5) It was on sale.

Yeah yeah, I'll admit to that one, i'd say 98% of the woman would say this lie

(6) I don't want to be a housewife and live off of my husband.

I think for Japanese, this is mostly a lie, as for me, I really don't want to be a housewife

(7) We make financial decisions together.

This is tricky, In my case it would be a lie, because is my money, but in some other cases where the wife manages the money she's the one calling the shots

(8) I bought it for both of us to use.

Meaning: "I bought this so I can use whenever I want to" or "I bought this for you to use (So you would be busy using this and give me some time off)"

(9) What's your credit card doing in my purse?

The lie here is to make it sound innocent, However even if it is to spend on the credit card or check up the expenses of the guy, it is never "accidently"

(10) I'll pay you back.

That's also a flat out lie haha, unless you really don't like the guy

1 ( +5 / -4 )

Heck "I'll never cheat on you", is a dead giveaway. Never say it. Also if a woman asks you the question... then you need to think about her insecurities too. They should ask women that have been married for 30 years.... for the top 10 clues to choosing the right guy.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

They should ask women that have been married for 30 years.... for the top 10 clues to choosing the right guy.

(1.) Gut feeling

(2.) to (8.) See 1.

(9.) Seriously, see (1.). If there's anything at all nagging in the back of your mind that you can't quite put your finger on, hold your horses.

(10.) If your Dad thinks he's OK, he's probably OK.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

I and spouse assess that, lying or not, this 'Top 10 list' is more indicative of a limited, unimaginative doof'. (m or f). And if it is a lie, you probably deserve it, for having even spent whatever time with given doof in the first place.

If you are going to lie, show some spunk. Do it with style.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

This is just stereotyping men in Japan. What I know is that they are equally lying to each other (men and women) like the rest of the world. You have the good bad and the ugly. Men probably hardly know how to hide their lies, but women do know that better. The universal accepted lie is that men are always cheaters and women are all angels!!!

4 ( +4 / -0 )

My reasoning behind #9 is a different. Instead of 'is it worth doing right now,' I think,' I think 'how much will I gain from this?'

2 ( +2 / -0 )

@choiwaruoyaji

Nice list. But the deadliest lie come truth has to be:

"Wow. It's true what they say. Size isn't important."

3 ( +3 / -0 )

albaleo

hahaha exactly! the Lie that majority of women say....

"Size actually doesn't matter"

HAHAHAHAHA LIARS!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

@Tessa "the funniest lies I hear from men are lies of omission. First date: "I'm recently divorced." Second date: "Actually we're not officially divorced yet, just separated." Third date: "Actually we're still living under the same roof for the sake of the kids." Needless to say, there is no fourth date."

Brilliant road map!!! Who needs a fourth date anyways,,,

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Size actually doesn't matter.

Guess what ... it doesn't. Really and truly.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

The 10 famous lies in history

I love you The check is in the mail You wont be sent to the front You cant get pregnant the first time I`m late....And It is your child Tax cuts for rich really help the poor. I am not a liar Thank you so much, i do appreciate it. You really are so beautiful. Your so interesting I am still at the office You look lovely in that dress!

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Guess what ... it doesn't. Really and truly.

I think it depends on the girl. I used to live with a girl (roommate), for whom it really did matter.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Gents, if you are under-endowed so to speak you have several options: there is a water vacuum pump you can order and gain an inch in length and more in girth using at your leisure in your bath, and read "she comes first" to up your pre-game,,,

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Clio, that is actually pretty good. My wife brought me to the house to meet her family. My Japanese was pretty bad, but her Dad (from Amami Oshima) understood me. Both he and my Mother In Law (from Okinawa) really took to me. That was the thing: Being honest up front. They liked it and my wife thought they would (her sister ran off with a Marine, so being the second military guy I really had to go through the ringer).

21 years later and still going strong.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

The problem with these are that i've not stopped saying any word to any person in fear of not being genuine. So now my life consists of: walk up to cashier, put item on table, say "bye" Get asked by someone if i'm doing ok? I now can't respond because they think i'm telling a lie. have to walk off. Luckily i don't do that. It seems to be the older ones that become cynical, heck i'm sometimes like that but i give the benefit of the doubt to people.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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