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Japanese women list top 10 romantic scenarios by which they’d like to meet new boyfriend

22 Comments
By Casey Baseel, RocketNews24

Japanese society isn’t very big on public or direct displays of affection, which sometimes causes it to be labeled unromantic. However, plenty of people in Japan have a romantic streak, and while many seek a dating partner at singles parties, others wish they could meet their soulmate through a more dramatic chance encounter.

Waku Waku Communications recently polled 1,000 Japanese women presenting them with a list of scenarios and asking which would be their ideal fateful first meeting with a romantic partner, with all respondents between the ages of 25 and 39 (so you won’t see any current classmate sweethearts on the list). Let’s take a look at the 10 choices.

  1. While watching a pro baseball game at the stadium, the batter hits a home run. You get excited and high-five the fan next to you, and it turns out he’s a "suteki" (wonderful and handsome) guy. (78 votes)

  2. While having a barbecue with friends at the park, a "suteki" guy from the next group over comes over and lights the fire for you. (82 votes)

This seems like an extremely specific set of circumstances, but a guy who knows how to cook, or just has a helpful mastery of fire, is apparently considered a very eligible bachelor by the survey respondents.

  1. While out at a bar, the waiter comes over with a drink and says “It’s from the gentleman sitting over there,” who’s a "suteki" guy. (92 votes)

  2. A thug or a drunk is bothering you, and a "suteki" guy suddenly appears and gets rid of him for you. (122 votes)

While not explicitly stated, it’s strongly implied that said "suteki" guy should be less drunk than the accosters he’s fending off.

  1. As an adult, you suddenly run into your old boyfriend from junior high, and you rekindle your romance. (151 votes)

Considering how often high school is idealized in Japanese fiction, it’s surprising to see middle school specified here, although maybe that’s because the younger age makes it easier for the past breakup to feel like water under the bridge.

  1. You start to stumble on the stairs, but a "suteki" man catches you. (180 votes)

  2. A "suteki" man moves into the condominium unit next to yours. (184 votes)

  3. While at the bookstore, you reach for a book at the same time a "suteki" man does, and your hands touch. (189 votes)

Certain books are going to be more romantic than others, of course.

  1. On the Shinkansen, a "suteki" man helps you put your luggage up on the overhead rack. (196 votes)

While Japan’s famed bullet train is incredibly speedy and convenient, you’re on your own as far as handling your luggage, unless a gallant stranger lends a hand.

  1. You’re seated next to a "suteki" man on an airplane, and it turns out you’re going to the same city, and then you bump into each other again at a sightseeing spot there. (257 votes)

With that many coincidences lining up, it must be fate, right?

Looking at the list, it seems most of the scenarios have a certain low-key drama to them, with a guy who’s nonchalantly helpful seemingly coming out of nowhere. Now, as with all surveys of this type, it’s important to bear in mind that the researchers asked the women for their ideal situation, which explains why the word "suteki" shows up so frequently. In other words, the respondents don’t necessarily expect to meet the man of their dreams in the TV drama-style ways laid out here, but if such a chance came along, they’d certainly be happy about it.

Source: Waku Waku Communications

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Japanese college women pick between men who’re short and handsome or tall and plain in survey -- Young Japanese women sound off on what does and doesn’t constitute cheating on their boyfriend -- Idol singer dating bans are unnecessary, say majority of Japanese college men in survey

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22 Comments
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The word "suteki" got irritating as I continued to read......

18 ( +18 / -0 )

On the Shinkansen, a “suteki” man helps you put your luggage up on the overhead rack. (196 votes)

I'm always doing this everywhere I go but I'm going to think twice now that I know it's a fantasy for so many people. That said, I'm not sure if I'm a "suteki" man.

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Number 4 in the list is the least likely to happen because people hardly ever see their neighbors or communicate with the people in the next unit of an apartment building in Tokyo and major cities around Japan...

2 ( +2 / -0 )

MikeH, no, I disagree. Number 4, the new neighbour does the Japanese thing of giving a small gift to neighbours. The suteki new neighbour presents the woman with some rubbish bags or a smal towel.

I think for Japanese women kind, gentlemanly, fashionable, rich would all come before suteki. Coming to think of it, it might be better to replace suteki man with the word gaijin.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

While in a steak house, eating a steak, a suteki construction worker carrying a stake sits down and orders the same steak that you're having.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Hectic, I guess the general pattern is that the dude initialises most of the engagement, and there seems to be a heavy emphasis on a "love at first sight" type of scenario where appearance is also highly rated. I do like #1 though, as it's sort of like a shared experience that would have a big impression on most people

2 ( +2 / -0 )

1 works for women world-wide. Not just a Japanese thing, IME.
0 ( +1 / -1 )

"A half-inebriated foreigner staggers over and says hi in HUB"

I was convinced that was going to be number 1.

14 ( +14 / -0 )

Very surprised that "meeting a suteki at your local konbini, you reading your fav' fashion mag, a suteki casually browsing through a few erohons next to you" didn't make the top 10. Most probably at 11 or 12 though.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

10 items in the list, 9 have "suteki" in them. What it says basically if you're not, don't even bother do any of these, you're an automatic "ayashii yatsu"

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Rule #1: Be good looking Rule #2: Don't be ugly Rule #3: Don't be not good looking

11 ( +11 / -0 )

Reading through seemed like girls hooking up with any 'sutueki' dude who helped or who - dare I say it - behaved gentlemanly towards them. It all reminded me of bus tour camping trips through Europe in the early 80s where the male tour guides sometimes would be helpful to the females but often would be expecting a conga-line of chicks to join them down the back of the bus for a late night triste.

Is there something innately attractive about 'suteki' dudes behaving in a way to help nurture the survival of Japanese girls in the otherwise savage urban wilderness?

And what about the guys who do not appear so 'suteki'?

Are they all really so shallow?

Oh well, at least in the end we can thank Waku Waku Communications and JT for another free free-conversation lesson focus.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

"it’s important to bear in mind that the researchers asked the women for their ideal situation, "

Umm, well they only asked them to choose from the preset scenarios, as us made clear earlier in the article. Who knows what they might have said if allowed to give their actual, own ideal scenarios? That would have involved more work for the survey administer and author of the article but it might have been more interesting. And there maybe would have been less emphasis on good looks. Then again, maybe not. But I have known many women here who have told me they they really don't care whether their potential mate is handsome or not as long as he's kind and gentle.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Simon PhillipsAPR. 07, 2017 - 08:07AM JST The word "suteki" got irritating as I continued to read......

I agree, but it makes sense. You don't want schlubs thinking they're entitled to sweet, sweet lovin down by the fire just because they helped stowe a lady's bag.

What strikes me about all these is they revolve around totally not noticing the "suteki" man until a contrived situation forces them to interact. Which is spot-on for how oblivious most Tokyoites seem to be to the people around them, in my experience.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Any contact with a 'suteki' man is considered romantic, but replace that with your average schmo and it becomes uncomfortable and borderline stalking.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

This is the sort of stuff hormonal teenage girls think about. Coming from adult women is rather sad and pathetic.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

This seems like an extremely specific set of circumstances

hahahahaha, looks like I stumbled onto a idealized romance novel plot thread

0 ( +1 / -1 )

You could make a drinking game out of this take a sip every time the word suteki is mentioned

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Is on parole under consideration?

11) While walking past the courthouse a suteki guy walks out saying he just met his parole officer. He offers you free legal advice (18 votes)

3 ( +3 / -0 )

it may be a Tokyo thing but a few times I helped persons generally in the train station or subway, such as a woman dropped some papers and I picked them up and handed them to her, and without exception I did not get a thanks or any acknowledgement.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Image: Waku Waku Communications -- Caucasian male with Japanese female. Why this image? Because the business of relationship-making in Japan is all about fantasy, about escaping the 'dreariness' of the social world we've created or imagined. Just like these travel shows, food shows. Everything is escapism. It's an unhealthy balance. Transform the world you live in rather than wishing it were something it's not.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Wot no Nova?!!!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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