Japan Today

Japan’s singletons list kinds of people they’d hate to marry

By Philip Kendall

On the subject of love, marriage and relationships, Japan’s My Navi News carried out a survey late last year in which it asked 905 regular readers to share their pet peeves and relationship deal breakers. Rather than focusing on a partner’s merits, readers were asked to list the points that would turn them off or cause them to rule out the idea of marriage altogether. A relationship hate list, if you will.

Dividing the responses by sex, there were some surprising – and some not so surprising – replies. Dozens of tips for singletons and plenty for those already in relationships to bear in mind.

Given a free rein to list the things that really turn them off, My Navi News’ readers let rip with the things that they find the most undesirable in a partner. First, let’s take a look at what the girls had to say.

“I could never marry a guy like this.” The ladies’ opinions

My younger brother’s a NEET [no education, employment or training]. I can’t bear the thought of settling down with someone like that and having to shoulder all of the financial responsibility. (32)

A guy who’s overly fussy about his food. If we were to marry, I think he’d be too critical of my cooking. (25)

Someone who only thinks about themselves. I couldn’t marry someone who has no interest in hearing what others have to say. (30)

Men who make a point of saying how they’re “herbivores” and never approach women. (23)

Guys who still like to be fussed over by their mothers who are always butting in. Absolutely no way. (29)

A narcissist. It would be physically draining to be with someone who is always obsessed with how they look. (29)

Bad kissers. (26)

A man who earns less than me. When it comes to raising kids, money is important; I need more financial security. (25)

Someone who drops trash on the street, or who smokes while walking around outside. (34)

I couldn’t marry someone who has no future prospects. A man who talks about things like opening a restaurant of their own, but who has no actual experience, isn’t the kind of person I could settle down with. (31)

I once dated a guy who got irritated with me for not arranging my shoes neatly when I took them off before entering his apartment. That kind of person would choke me. (29)

A man who smothers me emotionally. (32)

Plenty of women also suggested that they could never image settling down with men who discarded cigarettes in the street, or whose parents were unkind to them. “Being unable to provide financially” or “lacking drive and potential”, however, were among the most frequently mentioned undesirable character traits.

But what did the men have to say? Would they shun any woman who didn’t wear thigh-high boots or make duck face at every possible photo opportunity? Or would they simply favor a partner who has no qualms with them staying out late with their pals?

“Not today, disco lady!” The guys’ responses

I wouldn’t marry a woman whose notion of the value of money differs to my own. I once spent a lot of time choosing a gift for a girl, but when I gave it to her, she maintained that it was too cheap and wasn’t in the slightest bit pleased. (40)

It’s impossible for me to imagine us making a happy family of our own if my partner doesn’t first get along with my family. (27)

Overly emotional or moody women. One minute she’s crying, the next she’s laughing. Five minutes later she’s sunk back down. That kind of person. (33)

A woman who likes drinking. I can’t stomach alcohol, so being with a woman who gets drunk and then starts acting silly kind of irks me. (44)

I couldn’t marry a smoker. People knowingly damaging their own body like that is a big turn off for me. (22)

I can’t stand girls with big egos who deny my character. I’m pretty strong-willed so I don’t think I’d fit well with someone similar to me. (31)

A woman whose ideas about the future and family don’t match up with my own. After giving birth, I’d rather she take a few years off to take care of the kid. (26)

Big, round takoyaki cheeks. Unforgivable. (46)

Girls who don’t like the same foods that I do. (36)

Clingy women. Someone who reads all of my emails or checks up on me. I need a little privacy in my life! (27)

Messy girls who don’t tidy up. I just can’t see myself living with that kind of girl. (43)

Doesn’t do any housework. Smokes. Fashion queens who cover themselves in makeup. I want to marry a more family oriented girl. (27)

Serial cheaters. Even if we got married I’d always be anxious that she’d cheat on me. (28)

While some of these responses seem a little on the, shall we say “traditional”, side and place a lot of importance on things like housework and child-rearing, it’s good to see the guys at least thinking beyond “a great rack and good underwear”. It just goes to show: once a guy hits his mid 20s, all he really wants in a partner is someone who’ll help him build a warm, cosy love nest and who’ll leave his mobile phone alone. As for those round takoyaki cheeks, well, we think it’s quite cute, actually.

Source: My Navi News

Read more stories on RocketNews24. -- An Increasing Number of Japanese Men Opting for Bachelorhood -- Men with ‘Nerdy’ Hobbies Describe Their Ideal Marriage Partner -- Men Who Disappoint at Gokon (Group Blind Date), Nine Types That Shouldn’t Even Bother Showing up

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Okay i gotta say overall some real good responses here by both sexes. I think these types or responses would be pretty similar in many other countries and not just Japan.

Big, round takoyaki cheeks. Unforgivable. (46)

But this guy above has some serious issues with himself.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

NEET stands for "Not in education..." etc. "No" education etc. is harsh as well as inaccurate!

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Most of the people appear to have issues that need resolving before thinking of marriage. Most need to grow up a bit.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Well,good luck!

3 ( +3 / -0 )

... And this is the reason why they are single.

Granted some of them are completely reasonable - like if you hate smoking, then marrying a smoker would not be ideal. But surely all these things could be overcome by meeting the "right" person and falling in love.

It seems they are so focused on the small things, that they are missing the bigger picture. That smoker could be your perfectly ideal partner in every other way.

As a women, the girls who are so focused on finances - ie "he must earn more than me" (Which often translates as "must be able to support us so I can stop working and go shopping at louis vuitton and have lunch at the ritz everyday") is very disappointing.

4 ( +8 / -4 )

All good and well but...best look in the mirror at yourself first, ladies.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Oops! You too, gents.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

On paper my husband and I are not a good match. Aside from the small matter of different languages, cultures, and even continents for the first year of our relastionship, hes a lark, Im an owl, hes a neat freak, Im more laid back, he hates sweet food and loves salty food, Im the opposite. So many differences, but if I had written him off as not a good match instead of stepping back and seeing the bigger picture I could have let the greatest man on the planet (present company excepted of course ;) !) slip through my fingers! Shared values, thats what counts. When it comes to the things that really matter, we are on the same page. And everything else can be fixed with ketchup, peppermint chewing gum and a few beers.

1 ( +7 / -6 )

Shared values, anyone? I met my wife in the students union bar after an anti-poll tax demo in the UK. I couldn't give a flying you know what about chubby cheeks, Then again, for many Japanese men I know conversation is not too important with their partners.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

What's up with all the articles recently about singles, men and women, marriage and stereotypes?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

you only need a few things you like doing together and similar values

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Some of the responses were so immature that it makes me wonder if the old system of arranged marriage wasn't better after all?

-3 ( +2 / -5 )

A narcissist. It would be physically draining to be with someone who is always obsessed with how they look.

This entire country is like that

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

The impression, from all responses, selfish and financially challenged.


It seems many know themselves and know that they are not interested in the challenges of married life, never mind family.

That is for the best. Children are a burden, wives and husbands are a pain and regular employment isn’t fun.

Get on board! The train to who cares? leaves every day. Somewhere around fifty you arrive where you wanted or in a place where no one can save you.

Sacrifice? You must be joking, there’s no guarantees anywhere in this life. If you are not ready, so what?

2 ( +3 / -1 )

"...there were some surprising..."

Really? Nothing in that list was surprising. Same old stuff I always hear from polls like this.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Big, round takoyaki cheeks. Unforgivable.

whats this?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Asian women have naturally high, wide cheekbones.... and I think it's cute!!

Beside the point, I kinda agree with smokers, alcoholics, self-centered fashion queens, or the jealous type who never allow any privacy or ones that try to control or change you...... I think that goes for both men and women.

Money is really superficial. Money has never meant anything to me when it comes to relationships, but responsibility does. I was once in a relationship with someone who had 3-4 massive credit card debts to pay off, refused to work, and expected me to be the only one bringing money into the house, so she could shop around on e-bay and drink herself into a stupor....... and she continually blamed ME for the fact we never had any money!!! Never again!!!! >:(

0 ( +0 / -0 )

if I had written him off as not a good match instead of stepping back and seeing the bigger picture I could have let the greatest man on the planet (present company excepted of course ;) !) slip through my fingers!

How lovely you two dudes found each other!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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