Japan Today

Many Japanese women’s new image of the ideal man

By Casey Baseel

When the subject of how men can attract women in Japan comes up, there are some pretty dubious sources of advice out there. Rather than apply twisted logic to gain twisted insights on how to pull women closer to them, guys have a better chance of success by putting their efforts into becoming the kind of people women are drawn to without any special prodding.

But what exactly do women want? Well, that’s an answer that of course varies from person to person, but if you’re interested in playing the percentages, a recent poll of women in Japan indicates four things to strive for.

It used to be that the ideal man in Japan satisfied the criteria known as “The Three Highs:” a tall guy with a high salary and lofty academic record. Recent years, though, have seen a swing towards a new paradigm, The Four Lows, which are:

  1. Low ego (doesn’t brag or boast when talking to a woman)
  2. Low dependency (doesn’t rely on a woman to do housework)
  3. Low risk (has enough value to his company that he won’t be downsized)
  4. Low consumption (is able to economize and save money)

Internet portal My Navi Woman asked its users if they thought this set of characteristics was attractive in a man, and not surprisingly, the majority responded that yes, they sure are.

“I’d feel totally secure being with a guy like that,” replied one study participant. “He’d be perfect,” chimed in another.

Of course, romance isn’t always about being the best, or even, a good person so much as it’s about being an appropriate match, and not just to your partner’s values and preferences. For some women, it’s important to be the right guy for the current state of the world. One woman may not have swooned at the idea of Mr. Four Lows, but she’d certainly accept and appreciate him. “I can understand the appeal,” she said. “That’s the kind of man you want in this sort of troubled economy.”

Still, the art of seduction is complex, and when we said the majority of women desire The Four Lows, we picked our words carefully because 25.7% of those polled said they didn’t find them particularly attractive. What some women perceived as modern egalitarianism, others dismissed as plain old wussiness. “Those kind of guys just don’t seem very manly, and I don’t feel like I could rely on him,” explained one. “I’d prefer a guy that has a bit more of a take-charge attitude,” commented another.

Still, most women could see the upside to The Four Lows. You could even argue that one say too much of their upside. “I totally want a guy with The Four Lows,” she asserted. “As a matter of fact, if he doesn’t, I don’t think he’s going to have much of a shot with me.”

Tough words, but hey, daydreaming about your ideal mate isn’t a hobby that’s exclusive to women. That said, perhaps the healthiest attitude was the one expressed by this woman, who coincidentally said The Four Lows aren’t something her man has to have:

“Sure, from the female perspective, those are all nice qualities. I can respect traditional masculinity, too, though, and I think it’s best for a couple to have a balanced relationship instead of placing one above the other.”

Hmm…somehow this study on how to be a great guy ended up also providing an example of a woman with an extremely attractive way of thinking.

Sources: Niconico News, Jin

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Nine Expectations That Japanese Women Have In Their Men, if They Are Men -- Which manga heroines do Japanese comic fans wish they could be? -- Blogger offers her top four tips for Japanese women dating foreign guys

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My ideal type is an easygoing guy who doesn't have a big ego but still has a spine. I think most women from most countries appreciate this sort of guy. The four lows sound too milquetoast, the three highs too stressful and materialistic.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Once of the first accusations to fly from Japanese women is the standard "you must be drunk", or "you are a playboy", or insinuating that you are so sure of yourself, or have everything planned in advance for the date - anticipating on eventual success. In fact, the who "low ego" thing seems to be fairly common with Chinese women as well.

In reality though, these women are unbearable themselves. They act predictably entitled and arrogant, while accusing of the same based on zero information. It's their skewed perception that is unfortunately their reality - and once the accusations start, they crash an otherwise pleasant interaction. You just have to walk away, because you can't get anywhere with them.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

In other words, everybody is different and really don't know what they want and nothing's really changed.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Sounds appropriate, given that many Japanese women aspire to nothing more than to be a dependent housewife, indulging in tea and cake sets, chitchatting with other dependent women, and basically contributing nothing to society.

0 ( +7 / -7 )

Thumb him down all you like, people, but descendent's pretty much nailed it with that one.

I'm also impressed by the way women want men who save money and don't consume much. Because shopping for crap they don't need isn't something any Japanese woman would ever consider.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

You know, the Japanese women I meet must be the exception to those some posters seem to experience. I've never met a money mad, me me me, etc types. Maybe I'm lucky.

Back on topic... and the four examples in the article.... seems to describe me pretty much. Lucky ^_^

1 ( +2 / -1 )

hah! all goes out the window once love bites anyway.....

3 ( +4 / -1 )

To the woman who said, “I’d prefer a guy that has a bit more of a take-charge attitude,” those Four Lows are perfect examples of a guy with a take-charge attitude. Nor is there anything unmasculine or wussy about them.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

The problem is, a lot of single women watch these BS dramas with Johnny's Jimusho actors in them and this in turn distorts their perception of the ideal man. Then they see the same cults of personality on variety shows & other programmes - it's just all so FAKE. No 'real man' dresses or acts like these blokes...

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

"hah! all goes out the window once love bites anyway....."

Exactly, exactly!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

What the Highs and Lows both have in common is attention to status in a company and money. Japanese ladies are so practical!

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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