Take our user survey and make your voice heard.
For most people anywhere in the world, marriage is a life changing decision. No matter how many people you dated before you found “the one,” marriage brings with it lots of new adventures and experiences, but it’s also not without its challenges.
And sometimes, those challenges make people look back fondly on their life when they were single.
Recently the Japanese web management service WebStar Marketing reported the results of a survey filled out by 500 married Japanese men and women asking them exactly that: what they missed most about their lives before getting married.
Here are the results, first off with how many people overall ever missed single life:
Often miss it: 14.8 percent
Sometimes miss it: 56.4 percent
Don’t really miss it: 24.4 percent
Don’t miss it at all: 4.4 percent
When broken down by gender, 23.8 percent of men “often miss it” while only 11.2 percent of women do, and 27.5 percent of women “don’t really miss it” while only 16.8 percent of men do. So it seems as though there is a significant difference in men missing single life more than women on average.
Here are the top five specific reasons why they miss single life compared to married life, separated by gender:
Men
-- No free time
-- Can’t use my money how I want
-- Activities are limited
-- Frustrated with my spouse
-- Want more romance
Women
-- No free time
-- Activities are limited
-- Housework/childcare is difficult
-- Can’t use my money how I want
-- Dealing with relatives is difficult
Both men and women having “no free time” as their number one is understandable, though likely less due to marriage itself and more due to natural life progression. At some point, bills piling up means that we have to go to work every day, meaning less time for hobbies or friends, and doubly so if children are involved too.
Here’s some responses from those who said having “no free time” made them miss single life:
“My amount of personal time plummeted, and I can’t do what I want.” (Man, 20s)
“At night in bed I think to myself, ‘All day today, I didn’t have a minute to myself.'” (Woman, 30s)
“Ever since having kids I’ve had no time to myself, and I’ve missed single life.” (Woman, 40s)
“Activities are limited” also came in high for both men and women, with more detailed reasons including “having to consider the whole family whenever they want to do something,” and “can’t just spontaneously go on a trip.”
Other reasons include:
“I can’t go out with friends or travel with them on a whim, so it’s made me sometimes miss being single.” (Woman, 20s)
“It’s limited my personal relationships. I can’t hang out with my friends who are women.” (Man, 40s)
Overall, Japanese netizens seemed to agree with the responses:
“Single people want to get married. Married people want to be single again. The grass is always greener on the other side.”
“I mean, all of these are obvious things that happen when you get married. You give up some freedom for other things.”
“Personally I’ve never missed being single. And I’m a senior.”
“I’ve sometimes wished I didn’t get married, but overall I’m glad I did… although, maybe I wish it was with a different person.”
“But will they still miss single life when they’re old enough to be grandparents?”
“Always wanting more, never satisfied. That is what it means to be human.”
Good points all around, but one other thing to consider is how corona has affected these numbers. Would people think differently if they hadn’t been cooped up with their spouse for over two years?
We’ll just have to run the survey again once the pandemic has gone away. That shouldn’t be too much longer… right?
Source: IT Media via My Game News Flash
Read more stories from SoraNews24.
-- Over half of Japanese people in survey only dated three or fewer people before getting married
-- More young Japanese men romantically involved with older female coworkers than younger ones【Survey】
-- Japanese husbands in survey say they do half the housework and childcare, wives say “Nope!”
- External Link
- https://soranews24.com/2022/01/09/married-japanese-men-and-women-rank-the-things-they-miss-most-about-single-life/
27 Comments
Login to comment
TokyoLiving
If you are not willing to lose your individuality, better never marry, it can be the worst mistake of your life..
Better stay single, be yourself, do whatever you like, use your money for your own convenience, have fun with friends, travel the world, have dates with no compromise, be happy, free and adopt a cat..
Life is much better with cats..
Meow !!..
Michael Machida
My wife who is a female and I maintain our individuality and married status. We are loyal and happy to do things as individuals too.
snowymountainhell
OKay then, @TokyoLiving 7:56am. Respect your right to ‘individual’ happiness. - Perhaps Japan will revise their laws so you can also marry those you love most:
englisc aspyrgend
Suspect most of them married with unrealistic expectations and this is the result!
Addfwyn
If your activities are limited/can't spend money how you want, you probably need a second look at your relationship.
My partner and I keep separate finances, we split the big things like rent and utilities 50/50. We might confer on big purchases (new tv or computers) but otherwise spend our money on whatever we want. We have our own interests and while we sometimes enjoy doing things together we also have a lot of things we do separately.
Making your life entirely revolve around your partner might seem initially romantic but it's not healthy or sustainable.
Johansawada
i'm surprised for the men the relatives isn't a top 5
my japanese mother in law wants to get involved in every decision we make like how we raise our kids...everyday she has a long phone conversation with my wife (her daughter) you better do this or it brings shame to the family... very annoying!
Addfwyn
Incidentally, comments like this one
Aly Rustom
Funny how that works, ei Mike.
Chico3
I'm Catholic, and before my wife (Japanese) and I got married in the church, we had to take marriage prep classes before anything else (and pass, too). Through those classes, we learned more about each other and the meaning of marriage. Leaving the single life was one point that was touched on. We agreed that the marriage "foundation" was number one, while at the same time, giving each other "self" time (either self time or time with friends away from home).
So, looking at the responses from Japanese men and women, we took some of those into consideration. However, in keeping with our foundation, honoring marriage and each other.
Yes, we do argue and have our differences, both personally and culturally. However, we do respect each other.
timeon
At least in my experience, "married" and "married with a few kids" is a huge difference.
Speed
The big elephant in the room is the freedom to go to bed with a variety of partners but no one seemed to have the guts to say so.
BackpackingNepal
What they want is freedom of their life. So why get married then?
tooheysnew
as opposed to a ?
Albert
Been married for more than 10 years and have a daughter. Still me and my wife find time for ourselves or go out.
A relationship is giving and taking. Sometimes i be at home, cook and do things so my wife can also have her time and she gives me time.
But if you want your time all for yourself than just don't marry and have a fwb. Problem solved.
Seesaw7
Women
Dealing with relatives is difficultLOL. I so believe in this one!
girl_in_tokyo
People seem to have such limited view on marriage. There's no reason you can't go on trips, hang out with friends, or anything else. You just have to marry someone who has the same view on this as you do.
And don't have kids.
Ignore the pope, and get a cat or dog. :)
girl_in_tokyo
Speed Jan. 11 06:44 pm JST
Ah, but even people who are just dating and not yet married chafe at monogamy.
The real elephant in the room is those people wondering why monogamy is the default.