lifestyle

Men list top four reasons why they dumped their past girlfriends

34 Comments
By Casey Baseel

There’s no fail safe strategy for forming a strong, permanent romantic connection. That sort of emotional bond operates on such a deep, personal level that the necessary ingredients will always vary from person to person.

But screwing up a relationship? That, it turns out, there are some pretty universal methods for, as shown by a poll that asked Japanese men what caused them to tell their girlfriends “We’re through!”

Along with fashion and lifestyle, women’s Internet portal How Collect covers dating advice. Looking to get some perspective from the other side of relationships, How Collect asked 30 Japanese men in their 20s what triggered their decision to break up with a girl. Their top four answers are below.

4. Going into hysterics

“If a girl and I get into a fight, I can deal with her crying or being angry,” began one 21-year-old college student. “But if her eyes roll back into her head or she starts shrieking or scraping at her scalp? Once I’ve seen that I get too scared, and even when she goes back to acting normal, I can feel myself tensing up. So if she does that, it’s over.”

You could argue this is pretty heartless, but some people already have enough trouble dealing with their own emotional and mental issues, and don’t have enough energy left over to handle someone else’s, too. In any case, the clawing at her scalp part is a serious point of concern, and it seems like the woman is in more immediate need of a counselor than a boyfriend.

3. Making fun of his academic record

“My ex graduated from Keio (a prestigious Japanese college),” recalls one 26-year-old civil servant. “When we got into an argument, she said, ‘Where do you get off acting like that, when you went to such a fifth-rate college?’ I was angry, but even more than that, it made me really sad. I couldn’t help but feel that’s how she’d always been thinking of me.”

Japan puts a lot of value on education, and going to a respected school gives job applicants a huge advantage is getting the plum positions that act as a stepping stone to the economic good life. Sure, you could argue that by the time you get into your late 20s you should have developed a thick enough skin, and enough more recent things to be proud of, to not let a remark about your academic background get to you. You could also conclude that anyone who lords their trappings of supposed intelligence over you isn’t really the kind of person you want in your life.

2. Making fun of his parents

“I went out to dinner at a casual restaurant with my old girlfriend,” remembered another college student. “I said the food tasted pretty good, and she shot back with, ‘Your mom must not have been much of a cook, huh?’ After that, it was all downhill until we broke up a little while later.”

Family relationships can be complicated, and even if your boyfriend doesn’t gush about his parents, odds are the fewer negative comments you make about them, the better. Some people say “Nobody beats up my little brother but me,” and it might be safe to assume that most guys operate under the policy of “Nobody makes fun of my parents but me,” too.

1. Cheating on him

“Obviously, right?” asserted one 28-year-old motorcycle courier. “If she cheats on me, we’re braking up, no exceptions…I’ve even told a girl who asked how we could stay together, ‘If you cheated on me, then we’re already through.’”

Whether you’re a guy or a girl, the easiest way to tell someone you don’t really like them is by letting them know you like someone else.

You know something? Looking back over the list, none of these are attractive behaviors, whether you’re a woman or a man. If we give the hysterics a pass for possibly being the result of a chemical imbalance or unresolved emotional trauma, we’re left with making fun of other people and lying to them.

In short, guy or girl, if you’re a terrible person, odds are you’re eventually going to get dumped.

Sources: Jin, Niconico News

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Five reasons nerds make great boyfriends: Japan’s geeky otaku list their pros -- Cheaters beware – 30 percent of Japanese women have checked their boyfriend’s cell phone -- College Student’s Romantic Gift Gives “Facial Cleanser” New Meaning, One Arrest

© RocketNews24

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.


34 Comments
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Obviously, right?” asserted one 28-year-old motorcycle courier. “If she cheats on me, we’re braking up, no exceptions

Is that a motorcycle pun, or just poor spelling and editing?

Yes, I concur with the list. Any of the five is indicative of the type of person you do not want to spend your time with. Demand more for yourselves boys. You know what to do.

18 ( +18 / -1 )

‘Your mom must not have been much of a cook, huh?

I thought that was a pretty joke actually! If you go out to Denny's and compliment the food that's what you get. Japanese people can't usually take personal jokes which is a big reason the comedy is so crap.

6 ( +11 / -5 )

I'd say those all good reason. Seen every one of them personally.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Is that a motorcycle pun, or just poor spelling and editing?

Haha!

I was thinking it meant he wanted to slow things down, rather than splitting up.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

who the hell comes back with well your grades were bad in school in a fight? hell mine where shit and i have no problem saying so! and it never stopped me from doing anything i wanted. .o.

6 ( +6 / -1 )

I've heard younger men at my office talking about their girlfriends checking their mobiles. Quite a few of them thought that deserves a straight red card. I noticed the timeless 'my period is late' test still rankled with many. Condoms, anyone? I was also surprised to learn that some could drag themselves away from the mirror long enough to make that test possible.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

who the hell comes back with well your grades were bad in school in a fight? hell mine where shit and i have no problem saying so!

You get pigeon-holed here depending on what university you go to. You can graduate at the top of your class, but it's all the school you go to, if you're the type that likes to brag about where you went.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

"Going into hysterics" is my big NO, most common then you can think.

others I can forgive even if cheating is the hardest, I'll take a credit for me if it happen.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

If they go into hysterics when you are dating, get out immediately.

It gets exponentially worse once they are married and have children. Speaking from experience.

8 ( +9 / -1 )

@sensato

100% agree!

Speaking from my experience too.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Broken, rude, or selfish people will never be fixed by a significant other, staying with them for long-term will only see things get worse. I thought this might be a list of trivial reasons to break up but these are pretty solid.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Seems the hysterical behaviour is pretty common , and they often seem to get enjoyment in ridicule over your education status or try to put your family down, I do often wonder if anything is taboo here in these situations.

They often do lack the emotional ability and social skills to interact in a mature manner, from experience.

Do you think it is a genetic thing or a learnt behaviour from watching their mothers perhaps ?

0 ( +3 / -3 )

I left my last one due to her propensity to enter violent mood swings. She also professed a wish to die on more than one occasion......

I found myself a normal girl after that.....

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Had one who threatened suicide. (Terrifying.)

Had one who was completely, utterly, totally asexual. (Depressing.)

5 ( +5 / -0 )

I think down grading one's academic record and his parents cooking, is sad. I think somebody want to control the guy. ditch her. you can do better.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Do you think it is a genetic thing or a learnt behaviour from watching their mothers perhaps ?

@StormR I don't think genetic plays a main role here, maybe a combination of bad education and traumatic experiences when young (first of all bullying), thus personality has not properly formed to achieve a "normal" relationship with others. To be noted here that a wrong education often means a too strict and severe relationship with parents that brings them to not communicate properly and grow up together, suicide and violent behaviour as consequence.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Not a bad list at all. I would replace "Making fun of his academic record" with "Lack of respect for partner", and replace "Making fun of his parents" with "Lack of respect for his family".

This list is a good indicator of how things might go when the going get rough. My life became preoccupied with caring for my mother who was suffering from a Parkinson's equivalent syndrome. My girlfriend (fiance actually) provided assistance consistently, she never complained or got upset about her burden, she never complained about me, she never complained about my mother, and she never wavered from my side. It was far more than I would have asked for or expected. A modern girl, but with very traditional Japanese values where it counts.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Agree with the list, although I think the guy who had a shot taken at his mother might be a little oversensitive to that ONE joke unless it was a recurring (and therefore annoying) theme. Dont think the hysteria is limited to the girls though. Ive heard of more than one J guy screaming crying and threatening suicide when we decide we are kicking their sorry asses to the kerb for cheating or general obnoxious behavior.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

None of these items sound evil to me.

My reasons for dumping a girl..

Returning from Korea completely healed if kidney failure... (purchased a kidney) hacking my FB account to see if I am stalking you... putting your need for physical items, to include nice looking furniture, above the needs of your cat.

Talk about either one of my mothers all you want! I guarantee both of them were better cooks.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

None of listed above. I'm pretty secure )) "Making fun of his academic record" sounds so funny ))) Same sa "Making fun of parents cooking" ))))

0 ( +0 / -0 )

"2. Making fun of his parents

“I went out to dinner at a casual restaurant with my old girlfriend,” remembered another college student. “I said the food tasted pretty good, and she shot back with, ‘Your mom must not have been much of a cook, huh?’"

Some people, like this old girlfriend, are social idiots.

"1. Cheating on him

“Obviously, right?” asserted one 28-year-old motorcycle courier. “If she cheats on me, we’re braking up, no exceptions"

That means they're going to slow down so as not to rush things? tee hee

More often it's the guy who cheats on his girl.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Another reason which has to be added is stinginess.

Some girls are so tight with money it's unbelievable.

I don't mind at all paying for the first date but after that she should at least offer to go halves, etc.

If her purse stays clamped shut, I'm think she's either poor, or stingy, or else poor AND stingy and it's time to try to find someone new.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

It's often that they are poor - salaries for women are crap in this country. But more than that, the traditional idea of marriage here is that the man will take care of the woman. So if a man isn't willing/able to pay for dates, then he isn't much of a man, is he.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

My wife of 20 years has done all these to me, except no. 1. I hope...

Basically, relationships should be based on respect. I love and respect my wife and vice-versa, the occasional joke about my school (SDSU) being the no. 2 party school in the U.S. She was the best thing to ever happen to me, and I hope the same is true in reverse.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

If she claims you went to an inferior school, tell her she must be right because you were dumb enough to start dating her.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

It's often that they are poor - salaries for women are crap

But mysteriously she has enough money for that new pair of boots she's wearing...

the traditional idea of marriage

Haha... "I want a strong a husband so he has to pay for everything on dates"

Maybe some Japanese women out in the sticks are still think this way.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Maybe some Japanese women out in the sticks are still think this way.

Do you live out in the sticks then? Because from your previous post, it appears that you've met more than a few who think this way.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

...my school (SDSU) being the no. 2 party school in the U.S.

Ha ha! Been to a few parties there. They may be number two, but they try harder!

One reason being older is nice is that you learn how people click (usually). My wife and I have been married 21 years, and it keeps getting better.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

So they dont mind being controlled and told what to do??? Female nonsense shouldnt be tolerated at all.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Making fun of my education does not bother me because...I have none other than the standard 12 grades. Making fun of my parents....my stepmom...have at it..we hate each other. I can tolerate making fun of my Father to a point....the last girlfriend I had made fun of the way my Dad kissed my step moms butt....I just laughed because it was the truth.. Hysterics...after it happens once or twice I would make a point of explaining to her that there is a difference between talking "To me" and talking "At me"....just talk "To me" (and Vice Versa) and we will get our problems resovled. Cheating...thats a no go.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

“If she cheats on me, we’re braking up...

Editor, I believe the word you're looking for is "breaking", not "braking."

0 ( +0 / -0 )

LB2010, at least she had the decency to let you know she was utterly asexual before you married her! Usually that comes after the rings go on...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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