Newly married man learns wife is working at cabaret club; asks for advice on Internet

By Preston Phro

The Internet is great for a lot of things like reading awesome Japanese news sites, finding pictures of adorable animals, and learning some nifty cooking skills. But asking for marriage advice from complete strangers when you find out that your wife is working a “night” job?

While we question the wisdom of that particular choice, it is exactly what Internet user Seibu351 has done on Oshiete! Goo, a Japanese website similar to Yahoo! Answers. For those who haven’t used Yahoo! Answers, Oshiete! Goo is basically a place to post questions to be answered by other users. Considering the open nature of the community, you can get either extremely detailed, well-thought-out responses or absurd, crazy comments.

Perhaps hoping he’d get some of those well-thought-out responses, Seibu351 posted the grisly details of his situation. The basic story is that he’d been married for 10 days when he came home early from a canceled night shift to discover his wife nowhere to be found. Calling her cell phone, he was told that she was out with friends and would come home late. At first he found nothing strange about it since she’d done it before, but then he found a notice for a cabaret club event in one of her drawers a few days later. Cabaret clubs, just in case you aren’t sure, are basically expensive bars where patrons pay to drink with pretty young women. Generally, nothing particularly untoward is supposed to happen at these establishments, but it’s not exactly a place you’d want your new wife working, is it? Especially if she’s keeping it secret.

After questioning her, Seibu351′s wife revealed that she’d been working at a cabaret club for around a month, which came as quite a shock to the husband since they’d been living together for eight months. He says that since she was having health problems and couldn’t get steady employment, he’d been paying all of the rent and utilities.

So, why the heck was she working at a cabaret club then? She explained that while he was paying for rent and utilities, she still needed spending money. For Seibu351, this shook his faith in her to the core even though he had completely trusted her before. The distraught netizen now wondered if he should demand a divorce. Although officially married by submitting the paperwork to their local city office, the couple’s wedding ceremony was coming soon. Seibu351 found himself utterly at a loss as to what to do.

Oshiete! Goo users to the rescue! Most of them generally agreed that the wife was in the wrong:

"What the heck? Getting married and still working at a cabaret club…that’s definitely unforgivable."

"It’s practically impossible to forgive her for starting to work without saying anything and then keeping it quiet. There are convenience store and newspaper delivery jobs, too. This isn’t a money problem."

"It’s definitely questionable for her to do this without talking to you. She should have said something. If you’d both talked, you probably would have been able to find another solution."

Other users took a more patient view of the situation:

"I think you two both need to talk more."

"If you truly loved and trusted her up until now, I think you need to ask her again if there’s something else behind her working at the cabaret club."

Sources: Oshiete! Goo, Nico Nico News

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- 65.5% of Japanese Male Office Workers Have Considered Divorce.-- Man’s Wife Becomes Addicted to New Animal Crossing-- Free Boyfriend Rental in China

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Hey get the snail treatment and relax at least she is "training" (sarc off)

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Ok, I understand the husband is shocked because his wife lied to him. Otherwise, I think it's good she's working to earn some spending money. It's not clear (at least to me) from the story if her working at a Cabaret club is a problem for him.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Free tickets?

1 ( +2 / -1 )

My friend, a respectable tenured college professor, had a young wife who he'd drive to work at the hostess bar. Not everyone objects.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I thought those are called hostess clubs. I've been to many of them. Basically, his wife is a high paid whore.

Working there 1 month, as a rookie, she probably need to develop "regulars". And most likely she would have to sleep with plenty in order to get them coming back and "name" her.

Just divorce her and find a more decent girl. And make sure to hire a investigator before committing to marriage. You just don't know who they really are these days. Last year, we've had to fire an intern for working as a hostess girl. She studied at Waseda too. And she's well paid for her work as an intern and came from a decent family. So money shouldn't be a problem. We've had so much trouble over why she did that. We thought she can be a good candidate as an employee. What is going on with these girls. She even begged us not to tell her school. We asked her why she did it and she said she just want to experience it. I just don't understand this. Why would you want to experience being a whore and throw your life away?

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

Highball7 there's different levels to these places. What if she working in a normal one where this doesn't happen? I don't know which ones you have ever went to but they are not as all as they seem in your head!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

If he'd been putting all of his earnings into the household, once she started working she should have, too. Or at least gone 50-50. 'Your money's my money, my money's my money' doesn't work.

And lying is a total no-no.

It also seems that after months of living together, poor Seibu351 knew nothing about the woman he got married to. It's never a good idea to marry in haste.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Frungy...oh yes, may be you need to learn more about Japan if you think this is a joke! In Japan the culture is different, people feel comfortable telling a lie rather than hurting someone telling how they feel straight forward, foreigners are more honest to their feelings when it comes to expression. Its not good or bad, just the cultural difference!

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Sometimes married couples lead very separate lives in Japan. One of my students, a sweet-faced granny, told me that after her kids left home she got so bored that she went and got a job - a perfectly respectable one - at city hall. She worked there for 14 years, and her husband never, ever knew because she never told him. Imagine that! Fourteen years!

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Jason, does it matter if they have different levels when the hostess eventually will only get the customers if they had to put out? I have not been to any one of these where there is not a hint of suggestion that there are more to come. And the ones I normally go or gets invited to are the high class ones in Ginza. If those hostess are all available, what makes you think that lower class ones aren't?

Name me ONE single club like that where nothing salacious had gone on!

And if she doesn't get paid to perform and does it voluntarily, that's even worse. She would be cheating on the husband. Even just the fact that she gets paid to drink and the patron puts his arms around her or grab a few places here and there would be bad enough. She's married.

Either way, the guy should divorce her or get an anulment.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

I guess it's different between knowing it and accepting and knowing it the hard way (found notice for a cabaret club event in one of her drawers). I wonder if he knew in the first place, would he still marry her?

3 ( +3 / -0 )

And if she doesn't get paid to perform and does it voluntarily, that's even worse. She would be cheating on the husband. Even just the fact that she gets paid to drink and the patron puts his arms around her or grab a few places here and there would be bad enough. She's married.

highball, Agreed!!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

I'd say the job was less of an issue than the fact that she kept it hidden so she'd have spending money. How can a marriage exist without trust?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

He is lucky she married to him. Years ago, there was a girl who did not finish middle school and worked in cabaret )I don;t remember it was nightclub or something like that - so many years ago) She married to President of Indonesia Scalno (sic) and there were many stories on that country, After he lost power, media was terribly hash. Debbie ScalnoAt least she has a job. Jobs are not for women in Japan yet . This is another reason Japan Inc. invaded to USA.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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