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'Rented men' are paid just to listen

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Congrats on a great idea

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Great idea? Hmmm...more like a statement that society here has some deep seated communication problems and an unwillingness to face and take steps to correct them. It's easier to talk to a stranger but not a professional mental health professional, because of the stigma attached to mental health issues. Sad.

11 ( +15 / -4 )

I'm sure there are lots of coffee shop owners and bartenders who fulfill the same role of listening. Some customers aren't there for the drinks. Compared to a man going to a hostess bar, this is much cheaper.

10 ( +10 / -0 )

Hell, I do it for free. Sign me up!

-3 ( +7 / -10 )

1,000 yen/hr is cheaper than booking an appointment with a professional (psychologist or psychiatrist). If I were to use the rent an ossan, I would moan and groan about the challenges adjusting to this society. =p

2 ( +4 / -2 )

It is not easy to confront the deep-seated reasons for one's behavioral patterns. On top of this, Japan's #1 psychological pathology is probably avoidance. Complaining to somebody is not a substitution for the hard work of therapy. And, it can easily reinforce unhealthy behaviors. It's very hard to change, all the harder when society discourages mindfulness, authenticity, and general well being.

The married Nishimoto says he has considered stopping the service several times, but found that he needed his clients just as much as they needed him.

And here we see something genuinely interesting: compulsion, resistance, repetition, etc. Quite dark in a way but fascinatingly so.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Great idea? Hmmm...more like a statement that society here has some deep seated communication problems and an unwillingness to face and take steps to correct them. It's easier to talk to a stranger but not a professional mental health professional, because of the stigma attached to mental health issues. Sad.

And I find it even sadder than someone would assume that a claim made in an AFP wire item is an absolute statement of fact. AFP in general and AFP Japan is basically tabloid level "journalism."

As far people people finding it easier to talk to strangers than mental health professionals, I think bartenders in almost any country could tell you that this is rather common.

-2 ( +6 / -8 )

For a country of people in badly need of of (any) psychotherapy...A 1000 yen an hour guy off the street is not the answer

0 ( +0 / -0 )

0 ( +0 / -0 )

And here we see something genuinely interesting: compulsion, resistance, repetition, etc. Quite dark in a way but fascinatingly so.

You might need to explain that, shallots, for those of us who are not au courant.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

And I find it even sadder than someone would assume that a claim made in an AFP wire item is an absolute statement of fact. AFP in general and AFP Japan is basically tabloid level "journalism."

What a bizarre statement. First you would have to prove your claims with real data, which I guaranty you, you will have a hard time doing so. Second the AFP is the third largest news agency in the world, after the Associated Press (AP) and Reuters and considered to be one of the best. Just see the number of awards it got so far. And I should remind you that it has been created in 1944 and therefore has a long history of serious journalism accords the world particularly covering tragic events in a lot of details with courageous journalists going to the field.

This is actually hilarious that you were I recall the same person who were defending the abysmal news media in Japan in another forum and now is claiming that AFP is a tabloid. I mean you are just impossibly and irrationally a Japan apologiste.

As far people people finding it easier to talk to strangers than mental health professionals, I think bartenders in almost any country could tell you that this is rather common.

Trying to make a comparative association between bartenders and mental health issues is totally ridiculous.....

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Been to over 25 countries on 5 continents and this one here is by far the toughest place to make real friends. He'll half the foreign guys I know can't even speak honestly with their own wives!

4 ( +7 / -3 )

Second the AFP is the third largest news agency in the world, after the Associated Press (AP) and Reuters and considered to be one of the best. Just see the number of awards it got so far.

AFP might be good for countries other than Japan but it's Japan stuff is largely tabloid level. So too for Reuters. I use a number of Reuters and AFP articles as bad examples in teaching.

Some examples of tabloid-level articles from AFP:

http://www.france24.com/en/20160610-japanese-naked-restaurant-ban-overweight-diners

http://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/most-beloved-elephant-in-japan-dies-aged-69

http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2016/03/29/safe-paws-japan-pooch-sets-yoga-ball-speed-record/

https://correspondent.afp.com/sizable-issues-japan-phallus-festival

Do a search on "AFP Japan sex" and you will see that while AFP does do some serious news out of Tokyo, a large fraction of its Japan stories are tabloid-level pieces about sex. If you look closely, you will that Japan Today gets a number of such stories from AFP.

This is actually hilarious that you were I recall the same person who were defending the abysmal news media in Japan in another forum and now is claiming that AFP is a tabloid. I mean you are just impossibly and irrationally a Japan apologiste.

Asahi and Nihon Keizai are quality newspapers. NHK for all its faults is vastly better than Fox News. I'd rather be an "apologiste" for Japan than an ethnocentric Japan and Japanese basher. Japanese who bash Korea and Koreans are often called "racist" by gaijin. Are gaijin bashing Japan and Japanese exempt from this label?

And, by the way, in saying that the news media in Japan is "abysmal," you are presumably fluent in Japanese and are familiar with its contents. Which Japanese newspapers or news magazines do you regularly read? I subscribe to the Nihon Keizai Shinbun and read the Yomiuri at work. I also buy and read Shukan Daiyamondo and the Toyo Keizai Zasshi when they have special issues on subjects that interest me.

Trying to make a comparative association between bartenders and mental health issues is totally ridiculous.....

Not at all ridiculous. And it's not just bartenders who serve this function. "Mama-san" in Japanese do the same thing. Telling a bartender or a "mama-san" your problems is no more ridiculous than what the article describes, telling "rent men" about your problems.

-5 ( +5 / -10 )

Modern male geisha, like casual social workers; they fill a void.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

Listening to somebody whinge and moan to you for only 1000 yen these guys would be driven insane.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

I understand that it is human nature to speak more than listen and some men seem to think that they have more to gain by speaking rather than listening. Maybe because it gives them a chance to control others thoughts and actions including a chance to gain respect and admiration of others. The truth is men lack the listening skills and many have not mastered the art of listening. Men need to avoid wandering off and have to stay more alert to what women have to say and focus in on the conversation. Men need to stop trying to think of rebuttal while woman talk. Instead they need to understand our ideas, complaints, and feedback. In the end men need to stop judging prematurely and learn to listen more carefully. However the reality is and I have to admit that sometimes woman are guilty of not listening as men are.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Listening to somebody whinge and moan to you for only 1000 yen

I wish I got paid for being whinged and moaned to. I'm the one who pays for that privilege. Through the nose.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

i get my therapy from tinder hoes.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Been to over 25 countries on 5 continents and this one here is by far the toughest place to make real friends. He'll half the foreign guys I know can't even speak honestly with their own wives!

Because there is an inability to communicate their feelings on any personal level. Great for having fun, but counting on in a time of need...not so available because it puts them in a vulnerable position.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

it puts them in a vulnerable position

To Shallots' mindfulness and authenticity I'd definitely add vulnerability (awareness of and comfort with) as necessary traits sorely lacking

0 ( +0 / -0 )

unfortunately this isn't going to help in a way a professional can such as identifying self destructive behaviours, any city services available, long term goal setting and planning.

you don't have to be mentally ill to need professional services. In university for example, the health offices make an effort to reduce mental stress with meetings on planning and also one on one appointments. Stress is stress

1 ( +2 / -1 )

I'm sending all of you a bill for listening (reading) to your nonsense.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I'm sending all of you a bill for listening (reading) to your nonsense.

Thanks. I feel much better. Do you take Amex?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

“It’s difficult to know how to express yourself without bothering someone else.”

Oh dear, what a pathetic comment on Japanese society.

However, a fair number of Japanese choose suicide as an option which ironically must cause much more of a 'bother' than mere words......

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I have done this for FREE but they always tended to lead into relationships and finally to stalking. While the intent is there it is best for them to seek professional help.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Nishimoto and his crew of middle-aged men will lend an ear to clients who would never dream of spilling their guts to a therapist or worse, their families.

Spilling their guts?

What a horrible choice of phrase.

There is a need for this kind of service. What's the point of going to a laughingly called "mental health professional" when very few of them have good listening skills and you end up with the "professional's" opinion anyway, followed by a course of anti-depressants.

If psychs could learn to listen instead of pontificate, people might go to them.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Very stupid. Seems like in Japan someone is paying someone else for their company & time. Embracing and glorifying false relationships etc. This goes on in hostess bars, enjkosai scenarios etc. It's really ridiculous.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

I like to listen to women. Several of them were so grateful for that lol.

But I can't understand guys complaining to somebody. Man up, damn it! Hit the gym, it's a very good remedy. Let off steam there. Physical exercise cures a lot of problems, ever psychological.

-5 ( +0 / -5 )

Asakaze,

But I can't understand guys complaining to somebody.

Really?

Aren’t you complaining in your post?

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I wish I got paid for being whinged and moaned to. I'm the one who pays for that privilege. Through the nose.

Welcome to married life!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

LOL! Sounds like your run-of-the-mill 英会話

0 ( +0 / -0 )

BertieWooster

Aren’t you complaining in your post?

Actually not. Just giving my thoughts on the subject, just like anybody else here.

-4 ( +0 / -4 )

There's more comments on this article than any other, interesting....

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Well, the idea is strange to me, but 1000 yen and hour is cheap, and it seems a lot of people just want someone to talk to, so ... whatever floats your boat....

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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