Japan Today

Survey asks: How often do you want to see your boyfriend or girlfriend?

By Cara Clegg

How often do you want to see your boyfriend or girlfriend? It’s a pretty important question for anyone in a relationship, and if each half of the couple’s expectations don’t match up, it can become a problem. Do you feel your girlfriend is too clingy when she asks to see you every night of the week? Or maybe you’re questioning if your boyfriend really likes you, since he doesn’t seem to want to spend that much time with you.

Market research company Cross Marketing conducted an online survey where they asked 300 Japanese men and women in their 20s and 30s “How often do you like to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?”. The results were pretty interesting, and maybe not quite what you’d expect.

Check out the responses they got from the 150 male and 150 female respondents.

Male Every day……24.0% Every other day…8.0% Every three days…16.0% Once a week……40.0% Once every two weeks…6.0% Less than once every three months…4.6%

Although “once a week” was the most popular option, if we add together the responses for “every day”, “every other day”, and “every three days”, we can see that 48% of men can’t stand to be without their partner for more than three days in a row. Seems that the stereotype of girls being the clingy ones in the relationship doesn’t really hold true! Compare this with the female responses below.

Female Every day…10.0% Every other day…8.7% Every three days……19.3% Once a week……38.0% Once every two weeks…10.0% Less than once every three months…7.3%

The percentage of women who want to see their boyfriend every day is far lower than the other way around. And 7.3% would prefer to see their man less than once every three months.. hmm, are you sure you’re really dating?

Here are some of the reasons the men gave for their answers:

Once a week

“Now that I’m working, it’s easier to just meet on the weekend.” (age 29)

“I only get one day off a week, so if we were meeting twice a week, one time would have to be on a workday. But I don’t really have any time after work.” (age 24)

Seems like a lot of people went for “once a week” due to time constraints. It’s no secret that the Japanese work incredibly long hours, so it’s understandable that they wouldn’t have much time during the working week.

Every day

“If we’re dating then I think it’s normal to make time after work to go to each other’s places.” (age 31)

“If we’re not busy, then I like for us to get dinner together.” (aged 24)

Some people are pretty keen.

Every three days

“I think once during the week and once at the weekend is a realistic and do-able amount.” (aged 27)

“I like to go out on the weekends, and then when we meet during the week we just hang out at home. I think that’s a good schedule.” (aged 30)

Of course every couple is different, and people can definitely make compromises for the sake of their relationship. But however you look at them, these results seem to say that on the whole Japanese men prefer to see their girlfriends more often than their girlfriends like to see them. So how do the girls react when their boyfriend is wanting to see them every single day? I’m sure they’ve got some pretty good excuses lined up – What do you mean it’s not necessary to wash your hair every night?!

Source: YAHOO! Trend News

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Twice a week works for me, because I have a lot of other stuff to do.

I can't stand the clinging vine types, that's the biggest turn-off ever.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

She wanted to see me until the other boyfriend got back from Tokyo.....

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

It takes all kinds. There is no right or wrong answer here. The important thing is, of course, is for you and your partner to match enough in this expectation. The thing is, it usually changes over time.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

To me, that highlighted how surreal Japanese society is, and how little human contact Japanese people really want.

Did you just sum up 127 million people based on a tired partner? Nice one.

I understand where she was coming from.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

This is pretty pathetic, even for Japan. I'm glad my wife isn't a "typical" Japanese person. The 2 years she spent in Spain made her "more normal" if there's such a thing.

That said, I was in a relationship once where the lady would only want to see me on a Sunday. Early on in the relationship I tried to see if she was free during the week, but she'd come back with excuses like: "Sorry, I'm really busy. It was a work day today and I have lots to do when I get home." When I asked her what, it turned out her "busy" schedule was, washing the dishes, taking a bath, emailing her friends and catching up on some TV programs. This was basically what she did every night from 7pm when she got home until 1am when she went to bed.

To me, that highlighted how surreal Japanese society is, and how little human contact Japanese people really want.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Hahahaha... now I know why I was called clingy hahaha

3 ( +3 / -0 )


Not a problem in itself, but what happens when they get married? The difference between "once a week" and "every bloody morning and night" must be quite a shock to the system.

I don't think it would make so much difference. After marriage, they are lucky to meet each other once a week...work is always no.1 priority, is it?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

...problems; night shifts, on-call, work, work, work..work always gets in the way!!! Although if it wasn't for work we couldn't even afford going out in the first place hehe

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Just men wanna have """ every day.thats the reality!!!

1 ( +1 / -0 )

This is a very personal thing and every situation is different. Some people need more contact than others. It may be first,when getting to know each other person, there is more contact. However as you both feel more secure in your relationship that need lessens. The relationship is sure and you trust each other more. Even if the other person can't see you each day or doesn't need to, it's always nice to have some form of contact though, even a quick call or text message just to let you know you matter and are important and special.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

From my experience in Japanese marriages, having quality time together once a week is about right and it never changes. As for being intimate, that will quickly change after marriage to once a month or a couple of times a year, if you are lucky.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I wonder... what if the question added "when the internet is down."

4 ( +5 / -1 )

How long is a bit of string? Do you live close to each other or on either side of Tokyo? Are you madly in the first throes of love or graded down to steady? If you don't meet in person do you talk to each other by phone (not email!) most days? So many variants to consider.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Now the results of married couples.

6 ( +7 / -1 )

Not a problem in itself, but what happens when they get married? The difference between "once a week" and "every bloody morning and night" must be quite a shock to the system.

14 ( +15 / -1 )

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