lifestyle

What date spots do you really hate?

71 Comments

Cobs Online (http://cobs.jp) conducted a survey of 551 female and 216 male users from July 21-30 on date spots that men and women avoid, if possible. Here's what they learned.

Men

  1. Amusement park (17.6%): It’s hard to keep up a conversation waiting in long lines.

  2. High-class restaurant (12%): I get so nervous, I don’t even taste the food.

  3. Karaoke (11.1%): It’s a place you go with friends, to let off steam.

  4. Designer brand shop (10.2%): I keep worrying about my wallet and it stresses me out.

  5. Game center/arcade (8.3%): I get so absorbed in the games, I end up wasting all my money.

Women

  1. Designer brand shop (18.1%): I don’t want him to think I’m trying to get him to buy me something.

  2. High-class restaurant (15.6%): Even if I wear my best outfit, I still feel like I stick out.

  3. Concert (15.7%): I like to scream my lungs out at concerts, so I only go with my girlfriends.

  4. Amusement park (15.2%): The crowds are exhausting.

  5. Soccer game (14.3%): The matches last too long and I get bored.
© Metropolis magazine (www.metropolis.co.jp)

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.

71 Comments
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roppongi, too much alternative totty about

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Some of these are gems!

Amusement park (17.6%): It’s hard to keep up a conversation waiting in long lines.

LOL, you mean it's hard to keep up a conversation for 45 minutes? I guess dinner is out of the question! -- Oh, See No. 2.

Designer brand shop (10.2%)

Since when is this even a date spot??

High-class restaurant (15.6%): Even if I wear my best outfit, I still feel like I stick out.

Ever hear of pasties?

Game center/arcade (8.3%): I get so absorbed in the games, I end up wasting all my money.

Yeah, which is why it's not a date spot.

What kind of losers consider arcades and Gucci boutiques a date spot? And high class restaurants are hated by both sexes here? Sounds like a love hotel is the only reasonable option for these casanovas.

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Pasties? That was good, Combini!

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Love hotels that don't have a model train set in the room.

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tokyotom lol, that is SO true.

I was hoping to see more specific places e.g. Odaiba. Why so many J-couples go that soulless, boring, expensive wasteland for a romantic time is a mystery to me.

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Why would a guy bring a girl to a soccer game if they don't like soccer? seems like a waste of time and money to me. going to a designer brand shop is a date spot??? I guess I am one of the lucky ones that hasn't been in this situation. hehe

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none of them listed Love Hotel. Always a favorite date spot.

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What a survey! 500 guys and 200 girls.. With all the information about where and how.

For the questions and answers I would say it was conducted by teenagers, and only asked their schoolmates ..

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Go for a baseball game. Faster paced than Soccer by far. You have the opportunity to toss a KFC statue in the river after a championship.

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Years ago when I was young and dashing, the daughter of my company's president had a serious crush on me. I took her to Korakuen to see the Masked Destroyer and Abdullah the Butcher team up against Jumbo Tsuruta and Antonio Inoki. I got drunk and threw my beer cup into the ring, so they ejected us from the venue. On the way to the station I asked her to wait while I piddled against a concrete utility pole. That did the trick and she ceased to consider me as a potential suitor. I suppose it all worked out for the best.

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@Beelzebub Ha, good story.

A good date spot is a hike in the mountains, it shows you are vigorous and healthy and that is the most attractive quality in a mate.

But not too long of a hike, you want her to have some energy left for later.

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I agree TokyoTom, that Roppongi is not a good place to bring a date, if you really like the girl. Otherwise its win-win, because you'll either go home with her or someone else.

LOL @ Love Hotel.

I also think that the movies are a bad place for a first date, because that is 2 hours or so that you'll have to be quiet and can't get to know each other. In Japanese theaters, you can hear a pin drop.

Good spots are as someone mentioned Odaiba, or the park areas in Tokyo such as Shinjuku Gyoen. Yokohama has some great places for a date: Yamashita-koen, Landmark Plaza, and Minato-Mirai. Hakone is a nice place too.

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I rather feel sorry for people dating in Tokyo these days. Where can you go, other than a hotel or home, that isn't mobbed with people? Even dancing is a nonstop fast activity.

I miss clubs when I was a student. Fast songs were mixed in with a few slow dances during the night. It was a great way to sweep your girl off her feet with a few choice moments.

Now you pretty much have to escape the city on a short trip to have any romantic time with someone.

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A movie followed a dinner is a good date for these nervous J-guys. 2 hours of becoming comfortable in her presence followed by talking of dinner. You even have a good starter conversation about the movie.

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Sorry I mean "talking over dinner" in previous post.

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It’s hard to keep up a conversation waiting in long lines.

Most men I see on a 'date' could stop after the word 'conversation.' The ladies talk, the men nod, mumble, eat, and smoke.

I took a date to an amusement park and at the end of the day it was the long lines we enjoyed most - lots of joking around, talking, getting better acquainted. The rides got in the way of the fun. Our next date was at a beach. In the winter. No people and huge waves.

Places I don't like to date: any place that is 'famous' - always shlocky and overcrowded.

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A great date is an afternoon bar b cue on a riverside or beach. Good food, cold beer and relaxing on the blanket after.

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For the guys and gals that complain about a lack of spots, do YOUR research.

I often hit Bars and Nightclub that specialize in 70's and 80's music, etc.

There are tons of smaller places that are great for dating and most aren't that expensive either.

Areas like Shimo-kitazawa, Nakano, Kichijoji, etc are known for certain music preferences. If he/she likes concerts take him/her to a good life-house and there are usually restaurants, etc close by too.

Many ladies also don't like fancy or pricey places where the guy splashes out as they feel they need to "repay in kind".

IME & IMO, go to a spot that offers a variety of stuff(selection of restaurants, shops, clubs/live-houses, park, etc) to do and most important is relax and enjoy. What will happen will happen if the circumstances are right.

Don't set a rigid schedule that needs to be adhered to, and avoid stereo-type dating places at all costs. Share interests during the date and let her/him also decide where to go and what to do.

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@Zenny, thanks Mom. -just kidding.

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@KaptainKichigai.

Son, listen to the advise my elders gave me:

1.) Go out and have fun but don't make problems(babies, etc). 2.) If you are NOT in Bed by 22:00 it is time to go home.

Semi-joking as that is the advise I got as a teen from my parents and grand-parents.

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who cares. do waht my unlcle Charlie used to do. Take them to his house when everyone else is out and make them dinner (the birsd like a man who can make decent grub) and have some booze. He reckoned it was near enough guaranteed to get good results and you don`t spend too much dosh.

Other than that take them down Selhurst park on a Saturday to watch world class superstars play footy and ahave a pie and Bovril, the girls love the glamour.

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stevepfc.

Agree home-cooked meals work well too.

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I think comedy shows are an ideal thing to do with somebody on a date. People laugh, feel better and afterwards you can both talk about the show.

Museums and galleries are also cool. It gives you a chance to talk without having to force a conversation like at a restaurant.

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My advice (never fails)

First date - go for a coffee. That's all.

You have 20-30 minutes to size up your opponent, find out about their job(s), living situation, romantic situation and it costs less than $10.

Men - do not pay over $100 for a an expensive dinner for two on a first date. If it develops into a relationship, your dates will only get cheaper and you will look bad. Besides, why spend $100 and start forcing boring conversation with a stranger after 30 minutes and go home empty handed.

Have a coffee, don't need an escape plan, just say you have things to do and you will email her soon. Girls like it if you have something to do rather than follow them around all afternoon.

No alcohol on the first date either. She doesn't trust you or herself around booze on a firstie and wont appreciate it. Wait for the third date to have a drink and then take her back to your sofa.

Patience young grasshopper, patience.

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Kittens. Any place with kittens never fails. Zoos are good, too: chances are you'll catch a little rhino-style action useful for providing subliminal hints.

combinibentoc, your ideas were gems except for the disdain towards game centers - that is, if they have the 'catch a lobster' game. Spare no expense to catch one, drive to the sea, and set it free! Trust me: that will be an evening she will never forget.

The biggest barrier is not the locale, it is the man. ANY location can be made unique with the right input of creativity.

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Hmmm... I wonder if any women have commented on this article?

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"Soccer game ( 14.3% ): The matches last too long and I get bored"

Heck, I get bored watching soccer after about 3 minutes, ha ha!

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Sarge The correct name is football and my missus loves watching, well if it`s Palace anyway.

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I rather feel sorry for people dating in Tokyo these days. Where can you go, other than a hotel or home, that isn't mobbed with people?

Must not know of any "kakurega." BTW this list is where people AVOID, not where they go on a regular basis.

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Daytime--Coffee shop for some chat, pet shop to look at some cute dogs/cats - sometimes you can hold them, too, a casual restaurant (not fancy).

Night time -- Live music with some food is good (fun fun!!) if you can afford place like Bluenote, that's good, if not, there are some other cheaper places where you can enjoy live music and some food. And like Zenny suggested, home-made dinner is good, but that'd be after the relationship developed a bit. Same thing about movies -- movie theaters are good before the relationship develops but after the relationship matures a bit, snuggle up in a couch and watch movie at home is better than movie theater (and some finger food :)

Shopping at 100ye shop is also fun.. you can get your date some cheap-but-cute stuff!!

Fruits picking --strawberries, blueberries and etc.. fun :)

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Heck, I get bored watching soccer after about 3 minutes, ha ha!

Sarge, try lasting beyond the team handshakes.

my missus loves watching, well if it`s Palace anyway.

Correct. Watching the Eagles play footie is one of the the most hilarious forms of light entertainment.

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soccer game for a date? unless she is INTO soccer, otherwise lame and boring. Karaoke COULD be fun if you're drunk, but then anything can be fun. Good date spots are nice restaurants, museums, trip to country side/ beach. There SO MUCH stuff you can do in Japan, a date can hardly be boring. But agree with Dentshop btw, very good post m8 :)

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Dentshop, have you ever listened to Tom Leykis by any chance? He also has some great advice for first dates. My favorite bit of advice is: "Eat before you go out on a date. Purpose is that a woman normally wouldn't be caught dead eating more than her date. So this results in a lower costing date by the end of the evening. You tell her that you are trying to eat healthy"

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northlondon's professional dating advice:-

i) At the start of the date place 4,000 yen on the table and state very clearly that that is the budget for the evening (for both people). If you don't have 4,000 yen borrow it from a mate.

ii) Only date loose, tarty-looking girls.

iii) Only date girls under the age of 20.

iv) Only date Japanese girls (apologies to all the western ladies here but I suffer from a bad back and heavy weights are a problem).

v) Only date Japanese girls who can speak English.

vi) Make it very clear that you expect a bit of action on the 2nd date before confirming the 2nd date.

vii) Go home to the wife.

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The Blue Note. They've taken what was once an elegant jazz experience, and turned it into a road house; crowded, loud, and overpriced.

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If dating a Japanese woman, observed the following at a pub recently, make her pay for the drinks, then at the right moment show her a photo of yourself on your ketai coming out of the shower while making comments like “ever seen one this big”. Poor lad was left with beer on his face and probably went home to look up new catchy lines on the net.

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day time: coffee shop for chat evening time: bar with jazz music ) ps: never dated in gucci shop, would dior be ok too?)))

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METinTokyo.

Ouch, but I have observed similar guys at the pubs. Not poor lad more like Idiot(possible virgin).

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LOL at the date in a Designer Shop or even considering that idea. I would hate the amusement park too, best would be to take a walk in a park, no fancy coffee shops either. After all, I would like to get to know the guy, not the money in his wallet.

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The worst is a bar.

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Guys, what do you mean about amusement park? Don’t forget that parks are not good for those girls who are wearing high heels ( 90 pct of all J.ladies), it can be crowded as well, so you can not really have an intimate atmosphere. No, I would ban amusement park for a first date

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@marushka, seeing as how J women are quite adroit at even wearing heels to the beach don't quite see your point, they've adapted. Beside nothing like seeing Mickey up close and personal to get some women turned on.

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Amusement parks work well if you both have season passes. A few hours after work on a cool summer workday evening - have a beer, see a show, ride something fun.

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A designer brand shop is a date spot? Hilarious!! Any place that is considered a 'date spot' is generally a bad place to go on a date.

Best 'date spot' is one that both you and the other person decide on.

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METinTokyo: LOL))) you're right))i just dont like walking on high heels, so me personally would ban any amusement park)) instead of designer shop would propose car shop or real estate)) it sounds more romantic))

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Notice how 'going dutch at Maccas' is not on the list. The perfect first date.

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I new a black Canadian guy in Osaka who used to invite girls to a cafe named after himself. Of course he then took them straight to his place. On the front door of his apartment he had the words "Name" Cafe. He said 50% of chicks bought into it and knowingly walked straight into his apartment. 50% balked.

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I have a rule in Japan that I only meet women within 5 minutes walking distance of my house. I then don't leave my house until they have arrived at the meeting spot. This way you avoid frustration when they are inevitably late or cancel because their grandmothers dog has a cold. So one day I arranged a date with a beautiful young Japanese woman. I had uncharacteristically invited her to an expensive Italian restaurant. Naturally she was 2 hours late and had already eaten dinner. So i said no problem and took her to the expensive Italian restaurant anyway, sat there, and ate my expensive meal in front of her!!!

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Aww Fishy! That was a cute post!

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A designer brand shop is a date spot??? That's a new one to me!

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I live in NYC and, before I got married, would have a first date over dessert. That way, if I didn't like the girl I didn't waste my time and money on a nice dinner. Dessert was great -- 45 minutes over live jazz, coffee and a tort.

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chotto-

Aww Fishy! That was a cute post!

thanks :)) i love going to a pet shop for a date.. it's just fun being there.. 100yen shops (big ones) are much fun, too.. i'd say much more fun than designer's shops.. i mean, really... and isn't it nice that you can actually pick up a few things for your date and your date wouldn't feel like he/she has to pay back? expensive gifts can be a burden on both sides but 100yen gifts can be just purely fun.

Guys.. I don't think there's any good rule that'd work for every girl you meet.. just make sure YOU have fun.. because if she can see that you are not having a good time, then she wouldn't be happy, either. My worst date scenario would be a date that my date isn't smiling. You don't have to always keep the conversation going, just make sure when you see her, you have a smile on your face and hold her hand. If you don't have much to talk about, that's okay, you;re not a talking machine, just go behind your girl and give her a long hug. No words needed :)

Soccer game?? well, i dont know much about soccer and i am not a big fun of soccer, but if i go with someone i like, and if my date is having a good time, i'd be happy sitting next to him being happy :) i'll enjoy being with a happy person.

i guess the key is being happy and smile :)

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wow when I look at the 5 choices listed for men & women, no bloody wonder the sexes arent getting together & no chance or marriage & certainly no babies, this list goes a long way to explaining why Jpn is heading down the road it is LOL........

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I love karaoke, but any time I go to karaoke with a guy (even one I don't think I'm dating--notice my careful choice of words here) he tries to touch me. Yeah, keep your damn hands to yourself.

That's also the problem with going to someone else's place. For J-guys, an invitation over for even the most innocuous reason really means sex. "Come over and play video games," means "Play with my joystick while I push your buttons." Is that too graphic?

Just hanging out is nice, but impossible in Japan. Sometimes you just want to sit in privacy (not a theater) and watch movies or whatever and chat and do normal "hanging out" stuff. But in Japan it always seems like you have to GO somewhere and DO something. Which is annoying.

For me, a date at a game center isn't too bad, but usually it seems like they just do purikura crap and UFO catcher (don't get me wrong, I like both but not with a guy). Some of the best times I've had with guys was shooting zombies together. :D

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northlondon

I couldn't help but chortle after reading your well thought out post!

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Date in a "brand shop"...er...something is very wrong here.

Anyway, as long as you make your date feel like she's the only person on earth and she buys into it, it honestly doesn't matter where you take her sorry ass.

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>1. Designer brand shop (18.1%): I don’t want him to think I’m trying to get him to buy me something.

Bastards!

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"Come over and play video games," means "Play with my joystick while I push your buttons." Is that too graphic?

Not graphic enough I'm afraid.

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@marushika, some of the best relationships I've ever had were dates that involved brake fluid (the bleeding of such from my bike)and transmission fluid but hey, that's just me.BTW you're right, heels are a b*tch to wear in the shop and I banned them years ago, hotpants, now that's another matter.

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Notice how karaoke didn't make it to the women's list. 'Karui' men go to karaoke on dates. But more to the point, how many men and women wish to hear what the other sound like on a date?

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Number 5/men : spoken like a true geek!

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Whoa, my first date ever was at pro wrestlng show! Anyway, I've tried all scenarios shown in the article except for that designer brand shop(?), and the concert, and I always had fun. I hate most when they take me to some chain izakaya like Zawatami or Shirokiya, because :

I hate when someone talks with their mouth full. After the second beer they begin losing control. After that, they insist on driving me home.
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That's also the problem with going to someone else's place. For J-guys, an invitation over for even the most innocuous reason really means sex. "Come over and play video games," means "Play with my joystick while I push your buttons." Is that too graphic?

Monkeyz, you are 100% correct above, the Japapnese are ALL aware that any woman who agrees to go to a guys place is basically consenting, I remember years ago this came up at lunch where I was the only guy with 5-6 women from the office explaining about having someone over for dinner & it cud be just dinner & they were ALL laughing at me saying it cud never happen in Jpn.

They said while it might turn out that one only has dinner(very rare they said) at a boyfriends place but it basically means your giving a VERY STRONG signal that getting physical is A`ok! And any woman who put herself in that position only has herself to blame if the guys makes advances & she rejects them, they were very adamant about it.

But a foreign woman new in Jpn can quickly get into some real trouble by going to ANY guys place in Jpn, bottom line is you just DONT unless sex is on the menu so to speak!

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northlondon....LOL

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Oh, and if a girl invites you over to HER place, unless she's living with her family, it's pretty much a done deal.

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Anything to avoid communication begin the sexes I guess. You stay in your virtual world and I will stay in mine and we can pretend we are having a date as long as we dont talk. I will definately be getting my son out of here before he reaches dating age. Fancy not being able to go home with your date. Fancy thinking its only for sex. How shallow and narrow minded. Anyway how many singles live at home on their own anyway here. Virtually none. So its not a possibility anyway.

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I notice that deai-cafe is not on the list, so I wonder if it is popular with the guys and the ladies.

Then the date going out drinking is maybe more like a business meeting going drinking with your boss and company, but hey, we are in Japan.

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MEN (in no particular order)

The back of a yellow cab Between the stacks in the library Supply room closet The parking lot at a strip joint in Lock-up

:D

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this just screams..joke...

worst date place..highway restrooms!! he said it would be ok!

did i win?

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"The Blue Note. They've taken what was once an elegant jazz experience, and turned it into a road house; crowded, loud, and overpriced."

Pamelot, thanks for the warning...

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Actually, I've never been to Blue Note, but the Cotton Club near Tokyo station is pretty dope. Went there last New Years with a couple of lady friends. Just chillin' while all y'all makin' copies at Kinkos! Hollaah!

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