lifestyle

What do Japanese men think about dating foreign women?

74 Comments
By KK Miller

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, dating is hard. This is very true in Japan as well, where a survey in 2013 showed that many Japanese aren’t really dating. Also, being a foreigner and trying to date in a country that is 98.5% ethnically Japanese makes it an even more daunting task for some.

But fear not! Though statistics may not be in your favor, there are certainly those that not only want to date, but date people who aren’t Japanese. Earlier this year we focused on what women thought about mixed-race relationships, but now it’s time for Japanese men to share their ideas about what they would like, as well as what challenges they would expect with a person who’s not Japanese.

Japanese author, blogger and YouTuber Yuta Aoki has made a name for himself by candidly talking with Japanese people about their thoughts on a number of issues, including the Japanese dating scene. In this video, he asked men about their views on dating foreign women, which foreign women they find the most beautiful, and the difficulties and interesting points about dating someone who’s not from Japan.

Yuta doesn’t hold back and really gets the guys to open up honestly about their opinions on a whole host of issues. His first question, “Which countries have the most beautiful women?” gets a number of responses with examples from all over the world. The Japanese men found beauty in people from northern hemisphere countries, like Russia and Sweden, as well as countries far south of the equator, like Argentina.

Yuta then gets right to the meat of the issue, “Do you want to date a foreign girl?” and most of the men interviewed for this video said that they would. Of course they had a number of worries including whether or not they could understand each other, but overall they felt that the experience would be more rewarding than anything else.

The men were then asked “What do you think will be difficult in a mixed relationship?” and obviously cultural differences were a major concern. Since Japan has a rigid system of rules and manners, many of the guys were worried that someone foreign would have a difficult time navigating the potential minefield. Language and communication between parents was another issue, as well as deciding whose country to live in. But perhaps the most interesting answer was that Japanese men worry that foreign women won’t see them as romantic partners. Japanese men have ranked towards the bottom on a number of international attractiveness surveys and they also ranked dead last in overall self-confidence in their looks.

Finally, the Japanese men were asked, “What do you think are some good things about dating a foreign woman?” The first guy, with a twinkle in his eyes said, “Sex can be more frequent” and honestly, it’s hard to argue with that. A 2013 survey found that people who were married, couples, and those with “sex friends” had sex an average of 2.9 times per month. These findings didn’t even include those who were not currently involved at the time, so the average Japanese person is probably doing it less than that 2.9 times. That is a far, lonely cry from the over 12 times a month the average Greek has sex.

Other men remarked that the experience would provide insight into another person’s culture, allow them to meet more people, and generally open up their own view of the world. It would broaden their horizons and make them better people, one awkward date at a time.

Source & Image: YouTube/ThatJapaneseManYuta

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Japanese women weigh in on whether or not guys should wear shorts -- “I think I love you…”: Romantic confessions from around the world -- Chinese census finds hard facts about the differences between Chinese, Japanese and Koreans

© Japan Today

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74 Comments
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That is a far, lonely cry from the over 12 times a month the average Greek has sex.

No wonder their economy is in the hole. Heh.

3 ( +11 / -8 )

Very interesting. The more I learn about Japan, the more I want to go.

-2 ( +5 / -7 )

So it all comes down to sex. If that is all these guys are interested in go visit your local soapland. Japanese men seem to me to be in awe or afraid of foreign women because of their openness and strength, while at the same time fantasizing about having sex all the time with them.

They, again my opinion, would like the idea of having a GF who is a foreigner but not interested in marriage because they want a mother for a spouse and not an independent woman!

4 ( +14 / -10 )

Even though Japanese women who date foreign men tend to stand out in a crowd, it's easy to forget that there are around 3x as many Japanese men marrying foreign women. (albeit mostly with women from other Asian countries).

In 2013, there were 15,442 international marriages involving a foreign bride, compared to 6,046 where the groom was non-Japanese.

http://www.nippon.com/en/features/h00096/

10 ( +11 / -1 )

Japanese men seem to me to be in awe or afraid of foreign women because of their openness and strength

Two things that aren't attractive in a woman.

-27 ( +11 / -38 )

I'm just glad we have Japan Today to tell us that dating is hard!

14 ( +16 / -2 )

Sex? Are you kidding me? Sex is an issue here? Sorry to break your bubble, but I dated my husband of 36 years now and going strong in the beginning just like any young loving normal do. Sex never became an issue or something that entered our thoughts, it comes naturally, love leads you too. Instincts of the heart.

7 ( +12 / -5 )

Many J-men like to date foreign women for free English lessons.

6 ( +14 / -8 )

@skinnee

Hmm, there is no accounting for taste. Just a girl's opinion, but from my personal observations, Japanese women are no weaker than their western sisters. Generally speaking, the difference comes from them being more accommodating to men's everyday needs (except for sex as it seems), not demonstrating their strength and their ability to make men feel appreciated. However, a couple of my girl friends in Japan are open and strong and their guys love them for that.

10 ( +10 / -0 )

Sex never became an issue or something that entered our thoughts, it comes naturally, love leads you too. Instincts of the heart. - comments

Thanks for this. It is so exasperating to make sex the goal of love. If you love, you love and there is nothing better than love, not even sex. Love you Japan!

3 ( +5 / -2 )

Kudos to Yubaru. You took the words out of my mouth. Btw, interesting feedback in the video.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

It sounds to me like the writer thinks the only foreign women are White and western.

And BTW, Japanese is not a race.

As M3M3M3 points out, Japanese are dating and marrying lots of foreign women. They are just mostly other Asian women.

So it all comes down to sex. If that is all these guys are interested in go visit your local soapland.

@Yubaru The hardest thing to get out of a woman is the first thing men talk about. Is that really a surprise? Does it count a negative toward men? Look at the flip side. If women were constantly trying to get in men's pants, I bet the men would be talking about wanting a woman who loved them.

As for visiting soapland, why aren't they? Its simple really. Its because most men don't actually want only sex. They want a relationship too. But as my experience shows, you can get a relationship much easier than sex. I have dated several women who wanted to give me a relationship but when it came to sex, they balked. Heck, I was even married to such a woman for a time! Basically your lament is like asking why people don't talk about water more, but are always going on and on about alcoholic beverages. The new beer. The new cocktail. Its simple. Water is everywhere. Alcohol is not.

No wonder their economy is in the hole. Heh.

@skinnee How do you figure that? I would sooner point out that Greece is resource poor and ancient. Then you look at America, a large country full of resources that have only been seriously tapped over the last 250 years or so. Americans could bonk half of every day and still live high on the hog.

6 ( +10 / -4 )

Ah yes, because 'Japanese men' are all the same, with the same interests, wants and aspirations. It don't matter which one you pick out of the crowd, he's no different from the next one. Equally 'foreign women' form a cohesive whole, each one indistinguishable from the next. As a 'foreign woman' I would not be interested in even talking to, never mind dating, a man (of whatever nationality or ethnicity) who was interested in me solely as a 'foreign woman'.

If you love, you love

This.

9 ( +15 / -6 )

JaneM

Good point. Japanese women do not weaker then Western, they just do not demonstrate their strength. And that makes them attractive. Few normal men find attractive female wrestlers or "take-charge" type of women.

-7 ( +4 / -11 )

@Yubaru The hardest thing to get out of a woman is the first thing men talk about.

Hardest? Woah, dont know who you have dated and why sex should even be considered as "something to get out of a woman". If all a guy wants is sex, do what I suggested in an earlier post.

Thinking like this is one reason, in my opinion, that guys fail with women.

2 ( +5 / -3 )

@cleo: If you love, you love

Some get it, some don't. cleo gets it. thanks.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

@asakaze

I know plenty of men that like strong, confident women - both Japanese and otherwise. And I'm not sure why you think it's a good thing that a strong woman should act weak for the benefit of another person? You might think it's abnormal for a man to like a strong woman, but do you not think it's abnormal that you are attracted to submissive women? Maybe you've got the vocabulary wrong but normal men can and do appreciate the entire spectrum of personalities of women. I want my partner to be strong and independent and capable, and frankly I think men want the same. You're selling men short here.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

I'm not sure about these guys willing to have a long term relationship with a foreign woman, but I'll bet almost all would jump at the chance to get "romantic" on a short term basis.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Another foreign woman here married for decades to a wonderful Japanese man seconding what Cleo said.

7 ( +8 / -1 )

my boyfrind frm japan, and he cant speak in english.. So im should speaking in Japanese with him every day.. Hehehe

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Two things that aren't attractive in a woman.

Only to weak men!

5 ( +11 / -6 )

Most Japanese men I know are curious about foreign women. Just like all the foreign men I know, everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Due to lacking grass here though, they assume the cement is better on the other side of the fence.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

The world will only be a better place when we've all had sex with each other and there's only one race!

1 ( +6 / -5 )

Some years ago I led a group of young Japanese people to a summer school on campus at a famous American university.

The place was filled with attractive young people from all over the world.

I suggested to some of the guys in the group: here's a great chance to make a foreign girlfriend!

The reply was: Oh no... we like Japanese girls.

And sure enough, of all the nationalities there, the Japanese guys spent the 3 weeks trying to pick up Japanese girls.

It was plain sad IMHO.

11 ( +14 / -3 )

'Japanese men have ranked towards the bottom on a number of international attractiveness surveys and they also ranked dead last in overall self-confidence in their looks.'

Self-confidence is a very attractive trait, even in men regarded as not handsome. In my experience, most women like confident men and insecure men find confident women threatening. I've been drinking with single, good-looking Japanese men in their early twenties who are absolutely petrified at the idea of striking up a conversation with any woman, let alone one from a different country speaking a different language, in a bar. I've met men who lack confidence in my own country but in Japan it is far more common and a real social disability. How could their confidence possibly withstand the idea that the woman might tell them to bugger off? You obviously don't have to worry about this in cabaret clubs. The ladies in there will massage your confidence all night for the right fee.

9 ( +9 / -0 )

Self-confidence is a very attractive trait

Not when it borders on (and certainly not when it spills over into) arrogance, conceit and big-headedness. It's a fine line. The ones who think they are God's Gift are a real turn-off. While a man who is 'absolutely petrified' of talking to women isn't going to get very far, a bit of shyness/modesty/self-effacement in a man can be very appealling.

2 ( +7 / -5 )

Even though Japanese women who date foreign men tend to stand out in a crowd, it's easy to forget that there are around 3x as many Japanese men marrying foreign women. (albeit mostly with women from other Asian countries).

Doesn't really mean much, as a lot of them may be married "by contract", just to obtain a VISA.

-3 ( +3 / -6 )

they just do not demonstrate their strength* yep a weak man will love a weak woman, and some strong men love weak women. very rarely get a weak man loving a strong woman. So if your a weak man then leave the strong women for the strong men.
-3 ( +3 / -6 )

Japanese women do not weaker then Western, they just do not demonstrate their strength. And that makes them attractive. Few normal men find attractive female wrestlers or "take-charge" type of women.

This is a false analogy. I'm sure most men would baulk at the thought of marrying Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons, but on the other hand, I'd happily take an active, self-assured woman over a neurotic, borderline personality.

Passive-aggressiveness is a corrosive quality in any relationship.

5 ( +6 / -1 )

My observations are this: Japanese men are intimidated sexually by Western women and find their strong personalities unappealing. Very rarely would you actually see a Japanese guy (truly) hitting on a Western woman in a club, party, etc. they have no interest. Even in America, the hostess clubs are staffed by Japanese and asian women. Very telling. I very rarely see a Japanese Man/Western female couple. It's like a spototng s unicorn. Western women (even in Japan) show little interest in dating Japanese men. They have neither sexual interest nor do they their persoanlities appealing. Japanese women are just as strong as Western women (or much stronger). But during the dating phase, they keep this little nugget a secret. They are much more adept at manipulation and play the attentive, subserviant role very well- But eventually their true personality reveals itself, but by then, it's too late for the poor guy to make an exit.

4 ( +8 / -5 )

I very rarely see a Japanese Man/Western female couple.

So, because you don't see them, they don't exist? I'm on a message board for foreign women married to Japanese and there are over 1300 members.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

@Womp101 Yeah, this is all correct.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

What about south east asian women? Like Malaysian, Indonesian, Philippinos..

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Japan is NOT 98.5% ethnically Japanese! I get so tired of seeing this particular piece of misinformation being spread again, and again, and again... 98.5% of people in Japan are naturalized citizens, which is a completely different thing and says nothing whatsoever about ethnicity. In fact, there is no official statistic over the ethnic make-up of Japan.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

Japanese women are just as strong as Western women (or much stronger)

I don't agree with this interpretation.

I would say that, after marriage and childbirth, many Japanese women become stubborn, selfish and mean.

5 ( +10 / -5 )

So, because you don't see them, they don't exist? I'm on a message board for foreign women married to Japanese and there are over 1300 members

hes refering to non asian women. Ive been in Japan many years And ive seen maybe a dozen or two. Non asian men with Japanese/asian women ive seen hundreds if not in the thousands. The ratio is vastly different

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I'm referring to non-Asian women as well. Like I said, just because you don't see them...

2 ( +3 / -1 )

I'm referring to non-Asian women as well. Like I said, just because you don't see them... like I said, I do see them, non asian women / Japanese men but not very often. Japanese women with non asian men see much more often probably around 20 to 1 ratio.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Japanese man, non-Asian woman - roughly 2100 tied the knot in 2013.

Japanese woman, non-Asian man - in the same year roughly 3110.

So yes, more women than men in relationships with non-Asians, but a far cry from a 20 to 1 ratio. More like 2 to 3.

(Figures from wiki, referring to marriages not dating, and both assuming that 'other countries' are all non-Asian, which isn't a given.)

https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%9B%BD%E9%9A%9B%E7%B5%90%E5%A9%9A

0 ( +2 / -2 )

Japanese woman, non-Asian man - in the same year roughly 3110.

That's all? I find that incredibly hard to believe. I note the graph is incomplete, but still, I would have thought the numbers would be much higher.

But anyway, if the number of Japanese men married to western women is so close to the number of western men married to Japanese women, holy moley but the former must be going to great pains to never be seen in public!

1 ( +2 / -1 )

@peace exactly what I said non asian stand out in Japan, especially as couples, I know and have met at least 20 maybe 30 mixed race couples with the wife nearly always being Japanese, only ever met one couple where the husband was Japanese wife non asian. Im know theyre out there but i very rarely see them.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Personally I think the biggest problem for Japanese men is much to do with the traditional aspects that govern the ways that Japanese people are expected to communicate. My experience in Japan has actually been "ask and thou shall receive". Most of the women I have met in Japan have enjoyed sex as much as anyone anywhere else, maybe even more so. But many of the Japanese men I have known have been generally too timid to ask.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

It was great to see several of the guys give quite thoughtful answers to all the questions. They seem to be pretty knowledgeable already about the pros and cons. All of the guys were interesting, though - smart, funny, attractive, etc. They should have more confidence! From the background, it looks like some kind of international event or something, so maybe a lot of the visitors were already interested in foreign countries and/or meeting or dating foreigners. Good luck to them all!

2 ( +3 / -1 )

suggested to some of the guys in the group: here's a great chance to make a foreign girlfriend! The reply was: Oh no... we like Japanese girls.

Which is double-talk for "At least if the Japanese girls give us the cold shoulder or reject us no one else is going to know because they don't understand Japanese".

I've seen this often times as well, and typically the Japanese guys dont have the guts to try to talk with women from other countries unless those women can speak Japanese. If it comes to them having to use English, forget it, their inbred inferiority complex regarding English kicks in and they are lost.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

wtfjapan is always exaggerating when I'm in japan i've always see non asian women to japanese men

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

very rarely see a Japanese Man/Western female couple.

So, because you don't see them, they don't exist? I'm on a message board for foreign women married to Japanese and there are over 1300 members.

Those numbers are quite impressive, but it`s a well known fact that white western women have always had a tough job here relationship wise.

http://thejapanwanko.sub.jp/?p=1765

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

****Greeks only do it 12 times a month ? When I was young it was more like 30 times. But never 28, 29,or 31.Seems the dates didn't suit me. Still it was nice while it lasted. After 30 years of marriage it dropped to 8 times. Still better than the Japanese average though.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

Cleo:

Thanks for the link. It was very informative. For me, there were a couple of surprises in that data.

https://ja.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%9B%BD%E9%9A%9B%E7%B5%90%E5%A9%9A

Husband Japanese Wife Japanese China 6253 Koreas 1689 Phillipines 3118 U.S. 1158 Koreas 2734 China 718 Thailand 981 England 247 Brazil 212 Brazil 286 U.S. 184 Philippines 105 Peru 70 Peru 107 England 38 Thailand 31 Other Countries 1852 Other Countries 1705 Total 15442 Total 6046

I wonder how many individuals from the "Western" countries were of Asian heritage.

Also, I am reserved to "assume" that other countries mean, "Western," countries.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

To many of them, Western girls seem bi*tches

Girls like confidence

0 ( +0 / -0 )

it`s a well known fact that white western women have always had a tough job here relationship wise.

That's a 'well-known fact' that I've never come across before. Maybe you should try asking some white western women how they get actually on, I think we can give you a more accurate account than some newbie starry-eyed over the unexpected attention he is getting from the local ladies. The only relationship problem I ever had in Japan was being spoiled for choice. ;)

1 ( +4 / -3 )

As a 'white western woman' with a Japanese husband, with several 'white western woman' friends dating and/or married to Japanese men... it's not that hard? Japanese men are actually not that different than most men in the world tbh.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

I would say that, after marriage and childbirth, many Japanese women become stubborn, selfish and mean.

I would also agree. I've seen several women respond to acts of kindness both from my male friends (J and non-J) and myself, with churlishness, pettiness, and spite.

It's a learned trait - and one which I blame J-guys for, at least in part. Generally speaking, Japanese men are too willing to cave in to those who shout the loudest instead of standing their ground. Women learn this and therefore adopt aggressive behaviour knowing full well their guy will raise the white flag in no time at all.

Nowadays, when a g/f gets angry with me I will absolutely NOT do what she wants of me. However, when she has calmed down I'll take a more concilliatory stance - the point being that if you want to get your way with me you won't succeed by bullying me.

The Taming of the Shrew should be mandatory reading in all Japanese high schools!

3 ( +4 / -1 )

What about south east asian women? Like Malaysian, Indonesian, Philippinos..

Lots japanese men married to Filipinas. Filipinas are beautiful gals.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

That's a 'well-known fact' that I've never come across before. Maybe you should try asking some white western women how they get actually on, I think we can give you a more accurate account than some newbie starry-eyed over the unexpected attention he is getting from the local ladies. The only relationship problem I ever had in Japan was being spoiled for choice. ;)

I see your point! But I think the commenter is right. The western white women I've encountered in Japan usually go about with a chip on their shoulder because they're not in high demand anymore. And for me it's pure schadenfreude! I got some girls back home, but more often than not I got the bitchy "I am better than you and I only go for players" attitude that western women are notorious for. Most western women in Japan quickly realize that doesn't fly in Japan and they bear a grudge at a western man, finally enjoying himself with women, whom they feel shouldn't be doing so. I think Japanese men aren't as weak and timid as people think. I know a few Japanese men in healthy relationships with white women. And I've seen Japanese men doing the the nampa thing. Maybe they're just smart enough to stay away from western women. Now of course that's not all western women, but generally speaking. I've even tried to just be curtious to western women I've met in Japan, one foreigner to another; not even trying to hit on them, and their arrogance and bitchiness just got in the way. So I'm happy for all the western men with beautiful Japanese women and I'm happy for the Japanese guys with white women. But in Japan white women pale in comparison in terms of beauty and charms to western women, and Japanese guys know it. And yeah! I got yellow fever! So what!

0 ( +5 / -5 )

^lol thank you I needed a laugh today

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

Maybe you should try asking some white western women how they get actually on, ive known many western women in Japan over the years, some very attractive ones that command big money in the hostess bars, not all of them being hostesses naturally. It true that there the added attention from Japanese guys due to maybe the exotic nature of western women. But ive very rarely seen them date or even marry Japanese men, had many conversations with them over the years, vast majority just dont find Japanese mens qualities attractive, while many non asian men find the Japanese womans qualities beautiful. Which is probably why the ratio are so differant. If you dont believe me just count the mixed race couples you see next time you go out, youll be surprised

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Maybe you should try asking some white western women how they get actually on, ive known many western women in Japan over the years, done very attractive ones that command big money in the hostess bars...

I doubt that, since the whole hostess/snack culture is geared toward letting Japanese men say things and behave in a way they normally cannot. In other words, the strict social hierarchy, or system of rank, is temporarily suspended. And I doubt a foreign woman is able to fit into all that, especially with the language barrier.

But nonetheless, I'm sure there are foreign women working at a hostess bar. But I'll bet you that they're Russian and with mafia ties.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

I feel more reassured, I want to date a Japanese man and get married to him. I would like to learn more of the Japanese language and also teach him some English. I would like to relocate to Japan too but I am just very very shy :(

-7 ( +1 / -8 )

@pikkinicton WOW thats a @gaijinbride commerical if ive every heard one, or your being sarcastic or worse, serious!?

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Im know theyre out there but i very rarely see them.

True enough

2 ( +2 / -0 )

@wtfjapan first of all it's *you're secondly, what would be the problem if I was serious? But I could be sarcastic. Guess we'll never know will we ? ;)

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Maybe you should try asking some white western women how they get actually on

I never asked, but I sure heard a lot of whinging over the years! I have known several dozen J-female, W male couples over the years, but only two J male, W female couples who were dating, and two that were married, and one of those was the first such mixed couple I ever knew.

I am wondering if there is an alternate universe Japan where Cleo lives and this internet thingy connects us to her.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

vast majority (of white western women) just dont find Japanese mens qualities attractive

Irrelevant. I'm a white western woman and I don't find the majority of Japanese men attractive, yet I have been very happily married to a Japanese man for over three decades. There is no need to find every specimen of a particular group attractive, just The One. As an aside, I don't find the majority of Western men particularly attractive either, but I don't doubt that if I'd spent the crucial dating/bonding period of my life in a Western country I would most probably have met, fallen in love with and married the one Western man in the crowd who ticked all the right boxes.

The western white women I've encountered in Japan usually go about with a chip on their shoulder because they're not in high demand anymore.

It certainly sounds like one or other of us is living in an alternate universe. The white western women I've met in Japan have generally been having a great time.

If you dont believe me just count the mixed race couples you see next time you go out

Living out in the sticks we see very few mixed couples of any combination; there's us, our next-door neighbour has a Filipina wife and there are several more J-man/Asian woman couples (who you probably wouldn't notice as being 'mixed' if you didn't know them personally). In my immediate area I know of only one J-woman/non-J-man couple, and she found him in Canada, not Japan. The male English teachers that pass through seem to have an enjoyable time dating the local ladies, but they come and go; I don't know of a single one who picked up a Japanese bride. I also know a handful of local ladies with a bit of a 'thing' for Western men, but none of them are in long-term relationships. I imagine it's different in the big cities or near US bases, where there's a denser population of single non-J men.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

Right off the top of my head, I can think of 8 W-gal/J-guy couples I know personally, either married or in long-term relationships. One of them is about to tie the knot this fall. It's not that rare.

I think W gals and W guys in Japan just tend to move in different circles, and don't often pay much attention to what's going on on the "other side." The W ladies I know who are married to J men live in the suburbs, drive cars, and are usually too busy with work and raising kids to be "seen in public."

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Who cares what they think?!

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

It certainly sounds like one or other of us is living in an alternate universe. The white western women I've met in Japan have generally been having a great time.

I'll just say it then: it's you who's living in an alternative universe. There's countless commenters on this here forum who've testified to the fact. Many of them have been in Japan for years. Your minor success story and your very small circle of likewise successes doesn't negate the fact that most of the white western women in Japan are dateless, sexless, and bitter. And good on the Japanese men for avoiding those types.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

But I could be sarcastic. Guess we'll never know will we ? ;) doenst really matter anyways youd have more chance of getting a Visa from America, Australia, NZ, Canada, UK etc than a Japanese one then youll need to learn Japanese and understand the culture or at least accept it for its faults against women. find a Japanese guy thats not intimidated by you or want you as a gaijin trophy bride. and one thats not too old and that has money. (Japanese salary men make much less than they did 20+ years ago) You have to ask yourself if its worth all the effort. Japanese men can get english lessons from ECC. just saying, but hey I could be sarcastic ;)

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

But nonetheless, I'm sure there are foreign women working at a hostess bar. But I'll bet you that they're Russian and with mafia ties.

@Mr. Noidall. You're making excellent points throughout this whole thread. Russian women working at a hostess bar- so true. British, Canadian, German and American dimes never stoop that low here.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

British, Canadian, German and American dimes never stoop that low here. actually I new a Candian woman married to a Canadian guy that worked at a high class hostess bar, and she was a academic worked at a local university in Osaka. why would you say!? she would works 2-3hrs in the evening and make about 20,000yen. There was strictly no sex involved during work hrs. some of the women naturally had after work encounters. An Aussie girl I knew was even offered a million yen to sleep with one of her rich clients. If your a very attractive western or white woman and your prepared to go down that path you can make a huge amount of money

2 ( +3 / -1 )

@wtf. Good post. You mentioned the Canadian woman working as a hostess. Seen that too, but Western women like that USUALLY do not come japan primarily for that purpose. She was an academic who had "a real career" and not some two-bit trash.

The aussie gal- indecent proposal- happens. No doubt. But them same rich clients are probably paying the same big bucks to their native underage jr high / high school gals too. The older the bear- the sweeter the juice, just doesn't ring true to most japanese men looking for "sex".

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Sex never became an issue or something that entered our thoughts,} Marilita... you ARE foreign!!! hahaha

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

@Mr. Noidall You've got a lot of judgements for 'white western women' in Japan, and yet have the nerve to call them bitter. Pot, kettle, anyone?

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Well from my experience...

My best friend is a guy and he has dated japanese girls. The ones that had lived abroad are super open and lively while the ones that had never been outside of Japan are way more shy in every aspect. And yes, is super common to see a western guy with a japanese girl rather than a japanese guy with a western girl.

There are some Japanese people that are in constant contact with foreigners so it could be said they are used to foreigners bullshit and stuff but still is a 50/50 situation in which they might or might not put up with cultural differences.

As to myself, I have only been approached by Japanese guys that had lived outside Japan, but still they are REALLY shy or self-conscious because they do believe Asian guys are not attractive to western girls. See, in Japan there are very established gender roles and even if they have the experience of having lived abroad, booooooy those gender roles stick to their psyche. Some others are curious and ask me questions but that's it. It also depends on where you're living. If you're near Tokyo or a big city, not a big deal, but if you're in the outskirts it will be more difficult for you as a foreigner.

I'm not talking about personalities of course, if anyone is a bitch, he/she will be a bitch in Japan or in America and that's it. And I'm not saying this is a rule, it might be a problem you may or may not encounter when you go to the dating scene here in Japan, but still, same thing you'll find anywhere else.

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I can't wait to go to Japan in a little over a year. My grandmother is Japanese and she married my grandfather which was a white guy and they where really happy together. From want my mom has told me Japanese people are really shy when it comes to talking to people outside of Japan. I am just hoping that I won't be shy as well and maybe I can talk to some of them when I get there.

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