What jobs would make a woman an attractive wife to Japanese men?

Homemaker

Homemaker

I married a nursery/preschool teacher and my family and I are all the better for it. The only complaint that we both have is the extremely low pay offered. I have read that it is the lowest paid profession among professions that require a license.

Something with fair pay, fair working hours and low stress.... but utimately something that makes her happy and content.

A new Mummy for the adult/child Japanese married man.

Florist

( I am biased)

Surprised Chef is up there - it is an incredibly masculine work environment

Nurses used to be on 5K, that is, the usual 3K (kitsui, kitanai, kiken) plus two more Ks, one of which was "kekkon dekinai", but apparently they are are now up to 9Ks. One of them is "marry late"

https://kango.mynavi.jp/contents/nurseplus/workstyle/20211124-2143481/

Due to the rising cost of living, It increasingly makes sense to marry a lady with a qualifications based job. Such jobs generally have much more earning potential should she take a break to have kids. Many women are forced to continue working through childbirth because any break in their career will dump them on the scrap heap.

I married a nursery/preschool teacher and my family and I are all the better for it. The only complaint that we both have is the extremely low pay offered. 

This job is one of the main victims of casualization. Older nursery workers employed twenty years ago will be on full contracts. In many towns, younger staff doing exactly the same job will get 2/3 or less of the pay and none of the benefits or protections. The hours nurseries operate are also getting longer.

Homemaker.

Prison warden in max security jail.

truck driver

What NN said above, a job that makes her happy. And maybe a flexible one that allows her to take time off as necessary.

(Most nurses have maybe three days off a year, so if you plan to do anything together such as travelling for example, forget it.)

Homemaker

Homemaker

All the jobs can be said to be just homemaker done to a professional level, cooking, feeding and taking care of the children or sick members of the family. This plays very well with the secondary role women have in Japanese society, where women are not seen as the primary source of income but more like a housewife that may make extra money on the side with a job.

Farmer and permaculturist.

They want a new mummy not a wife it seems

Everyone wants a happy wife. I'm not sure about Japan but there are plenty of survey's done in the US that indicate woman who decide to be traditional homemakers and put their energy into their family are significantly happier than woman chasing a promotion.

You can love your job, but your job can't love you back.

To all of you who've downvoted homemaker, like it or not, women are psychologically geared toward raising children. Excluding the obvious outliers, they have the patience, temperament, and natural inclination to be the primary raisers of children. Not to mention the physical attributes of providing them with a nourishing meal in that first year or so of life. Sure it's hard at times, but my wife and most of the women she mixes with want to be there with their kids as much as possible in the early years, and only want to rejoin the workforce once their kids are in elementary school, if at all.

Speaking as a dad, that's how I want it as well. I don't want to outsource our boy's early upbringing to childcare. As hard as the staff there try, they simply can't give each child the same level of love and attention a mother can due to the sheer number of kids under their charge. My wife takes our son to play groups pretty much every weekday so he gets a good dose of socialisation with other kids, plus playtime out in the local parks with other kids and their mums.

Quite a few have posted "homemaker" but most single women usually have jobs and are not "homemakers" unless they are caring for elderly parents.

Women become "homemakers" after marriage. Not before.

So how is that an attraction to "Japanese men?"

Wallace

My partner is a homemaker, she has plenty of leisure time to travel and enjoy life. As a responsible man and father I ensure I alone can provide financially for us all

there are plenty of survey's done in the US that indicate woman who decide to be traditional homemakers and put their energy into their family are significantly happier than woman chasing a promotion.

Which can be perfectly explained by a problem with society that tends to demand career women to be also a homemaker on top of their careers instead of giving the same support that is implicitly given to a man that makes that decision. In these kinds of societies both options are not the same.

To all of you who've downvoted homemaker, like it or not, women are psychologically geared toward raising children.

By society, but there is no real reason to do that, gender have no correlation to the capacity to raise children and this excuse is frequently used to limit what kind of careers women can pursue, which is completely invalid.

Is the oposite side of the prejudice that men are more capable to direct companies or be cops, soldiers, etc. A social construct that people asume is some kind of objective fact instead of something society invented and forcefully impose.

@virusrex

Not recognizing the clear differences between the brains of men and the brains of woman is very transphobic.

Those differences do, in fact, not to mention strength and endurance play a significant role in career selection.

One that is very good at clearing snow from the driveway and roofs.

One that is very good at clearing snow from the driveway and roofs.

I imagine this would get a lot of positive response on dating apps. "Looking for a woman who likes fine dining and music -- and who can clear a meter of snow off my roof as the need arises."

Not recognizing the clear differences between the brains of men and the brains of woman is very transphobic.

What differences? a reference is necessary to support the claim that these would mean a difference in capacity as well. That is not what science says about it, Instead the consensus is that there is no reason for gender disparity in the roles.

Women can be as capable and efficient as cops, firefighters, CEOs, as men as cleaners, cooks, child educators, etc. One thing is that society forcefully pigeonhole people so they feel pressure to do a job another completely different is that they are less capable of doing that job efficiently.

falseflagsteve

My partner is a homemaker, she has plenty of leisure time to travel and enjoy life. As a responsible man and father I ensure I alone can provide financially for us all

You are not Japanese, which is the question asked. Was she a homemaker before meeting you?

Female astronauts have the "highest" jobs in the world.

By society, but there is no real reason to do that, gender have no correlation to the capacity to raise children and this excuse is frequently used to limit what kind of careers women can pursue, which is completely invalid. 

Is the oposite side of the prejudice that men are more capable to direct companies or be cops, soldiers, etc. A social construct that people asume is some kind of objective fact instead of something society invented and forcefully impose.

This is clearly nonsense. No amount of modern brainwashing can hide the clear and inherent differences in males and females that have emerged through hundreds and thousands of years of human evolution in terms of physical strength and psychological inclinations. Sure, there are exceptions, but they are outliers. Strictly speaking Whether a parent is a male or female may not correlate to a person's "capacity" to raise children, it's hard to argue against the fact that women tend to "prefer" to raise children compared to men's preference to do it.

Women are free to pursue any career that they are physically/intellectually/mentally capable of doing as individuals, but whether they want to is another thing altogether. Which is why you see women who do want to join the workforce predominate in the human-centred/caring jobs, where as men predominate in the "thing"-centred jobs, including he dirty and dangerous ones. It's how we're wired.

As for kids, having two loving parents, preferably with one dedicated to looking after them full-time for the first 3 or 4 years of their life, provides the best foundation for them to grow into well adjusted adults. Economic necessity nowadays is making that harder, forcing both parents to work in more and more cases, and thus having to put the kids into childcare earlier and for longer. But when women delay having children in order to build a career, they can't ignore the hormones reminding them that time is running out, and more and more of them are regretting missing their chance and going childless.

Back to the article, though, this small survey isn't unrealistic. I can certainly understand men being attracted to unmarried women who are in the caring professions, as it indicates a predilection to caring for their own would-be children and therefore increasing the chances of carrying on their genetic line to the next generation. The men may not even consciously recognise this, but it's a thought that's there all the same.

As I said above, years of indoctrination can't quite short-circuit thousands of years of evolution no matter how hard the proponents try.

“I want to marry a nurse who, if I cut my hand or fall and hurt my leg, will gently disinfect and bandage the wound, like Florence Nightingale,” pined one 100-point respondent.

Many manchildren out there.

Whatever makes her happy is the most important thing. Whatever the skillsets, you don't want to be stuck with a miserable person. A happy person is great company.

That is not what science says about it, Instead the consensus is that there is no reason for gender disparity in the roles.

And what science would this be? Wishful thinking by social "scientists" doesn't count.

Whatever makes her happy is the most important thing. Whatever the skillsets, you don't want to be stuck with a miserable person. A happy person is great company.

You are right. Happy wife = happy life.

This plays very well with the secondary role women have in Japanese society,

The Japanese understand that homemaker is the most important role in society. As such it doesn't have the stigmatized connotation it has in the West. Homemaker is the primary role in Japanese society where the group is paramount...and the family is the quintessential group in Japanese society.

The "nurse" men are all idiots. They live by the romantic images of whatever last Japanese porn movie they saw last night, and fail to think that nurses are generally overworked, overcaffeinated, underpaid and very stressed. Their divorce rates are among the highest in the country. Think (again). Can you really cope with being married to one and support her when she's back from a 12 hours shift, half dead and smelling like disinfectant? Because somehow I don't think that's the image they have in their hollow heads.

"Homemaker," you say, but not all women are good at it. How to choose the right one.

How to know if a woman will make a good homemaker.

According to the Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare, 35.5% of marriages in Japan end in divorce. The divorce rate for international marriages is higher, with more than half ending in divorce.

Women become "homemakers" after marriage. Not before.

So how is that an attraction to "Japanese men?"

For men who want to get married in order to have a family...women who want to be a homemaker are the most suitable option

The "nurse" men are all idiots. They live by the romantic images of whatever last Japanese porn movie they saw last night, and fail to think that nurses are generally overworked, overcaffeinated, underpaid and very stressed.

So true. Try being hospitalized for a few weeks, and you'll develop huge respect for them -- but also probably lose any tawdry fantasies. They are ruthless in the best way -- heroes.

For men who want to get married in order to have a family...women who want to be a homemaker are the most suitable option

That does not mean they all make good homemakers. Some women are happy not to work but some women want to continue their careers like doctors and lawyers. They don't want to be full-time homemakers.

Women can be as capable and efficient as cops, firefighters,

objectively false.

Can be valuable, and competent, on different metrics, but where physical strength comes into the equation you need some fancy mental gymnastic or disingenuous categorisation to claim otherwise. Different doesnt mean less valuable.

The Japanese understand that homemaker is the most important role in society. As such it doesn't have the stigmatized connotation it has in the West. Homemaker is the primary role in Japanese society where the group is paramount...and the family is the quintessential group in Japanese society.

How are you using a computer when you're obviously still living in the 1800's ?

wallaceToday  12:36 pm JST "Homemaker," you say, but not all women are good at it. How to choose the right one. How to know if a woman will make a good homemaker.

Yes indeed, this is the million dollar question.

For men who want to get married in order to have a family...women who want to be a homemaker are the most suitable option

And most men are more interested in subjecting women to this inferior role because by default men are not supposed to be homemakers, that would be a "waste" of superior abilities.

objectively false.

Provide then evidence, a source that say women are not able to be capable and efficient in these jobs, just saying what you believe is the opposite of what objective means.

"Homemaker," you say, but not all women are good at it. How to choose the right one.

How to know if a woman will make a good homemaker.

Well, there are signs.

My wife was a cop, so that was an indicator of her discipline (not easy becoming a motorcycle cop in male dominated Japan...you need toughness and determination....and discipline). She said she wanted to have a family and become a homemaker more than anything. That was another sign. She's a great cook...check. She is frugal with spending...check. She values family above self...check. She was gentle and playful with her pets...check. She has been gentle, understanding, firm and supportive as a wife and mother...check check checkity check check!

And most men are more interested in subjecting women to this inferior role

who ever said homemaking was an "inferior role" ?

From a conservative point of view it is the bedrock of the family unit and very valuable for society.

Provide then evidence, a source that say women are not able to be capable and efficient in these jobs, just saying what you believe is the opposite of what objective means.

Do the homework for someone who needs "scientific evidence" that men are on average significantly stronger than women ? Na mate not going to waste my time on disingenuous actors.

who ever said homemaking was an "inferior role" ?

That's a Western notion. In Japan, homemaker is a desired vocatation of many women as it's not stigmatized as it is in the West. A JT survey found that 1/3 of 3000 Japanese women 15-39 polled cited "homemaker" as their most desired vocation.

https://japantoday.com/category/national/1-in-3-japanese-women-want-to-be-housewives-poll?comment-order=oldest

Men can also be excellent homemakers especially if their wives have high-paying jobs. This often happens in the West now.

Men can also be excellent homemakers especially if their wives have high-paying jobs.

Yes, they most certainly can...which is why I use the term "homemaker" rather than "housewife"

That's a Western notion. 

Id say its a leftish notion - where I come from in the West, homemaker is most certainly not considered "inferior".

Only one in three Japanese women want to be housewives.

"The survey, by the Health, Labor and Welfare Ministry, found that only a slightly higher proportion of women actively did not want to become dedicated homemakers (38%), while the rest had no firm opinion either way. Sep 26, 2013."

https://japantoday.com/category/national/1-in-3-japanese-women-want-to-be-housewives-poll#:~:text=The%20survey%2C%20by%20the%20Health,no%20firm%20opinion%20either%20way.

That was in 2013. Has the situation changed since then?

Geeter MckluskieToday  12:54 pm JST

"Homemaker," you say, but not all women are good at it. How to choose the right one.

How to know if a woman will make a good homemaker.

Well, there are signs. 

My wife was a cop, so that was an indicator of her discipline (not easy becoming a motorcycle cop in male dominated Japan...you need toughness and determination....and discipline). She said she wanted to have a family and become a homemaker more than anything. That was another sign. She's a great cook...check. She is frugal with spending...check. She values family above self...check. She was gentle and playful with her pets...check. She has been gentle, understanding, firm and supportive as a wife and mother...check check checkity check check!

Looks like you found a good wife! Me too, though I wouldn't recommend mine get anywhere near a motorbike.

Women can be as capable and efficient as cops, firefighters, Capable Yes efficient NO way. Women have work at it harder then there Males counter part. Male have work at it harder in Motherhood or a home keeper. Women knows when it best to wash the sheets then her male counterpart. She knows when the household needs new towel and sheets, shoe laces for the children shoe Etc where these example come naturally to females. A male has to work at it harder and that lower the male efficiency or females efficiency in male dominated work roles. So you are very wrong about efficiency. I expect a debate because you are always correct so don't even bother a reply thanks.

So male children are universally aiming to be home makers when they grow up independently of gender?

No, as in Japan males and females are more prone to adhere to traditional roles in society. This is about Japanese men's desires.

That was in 2013. Has the situation changed since then?

Has it?

I haven't noticed. I teach at a school of 1500 kids. I often ask similar questions about their goals for the future (especially recently with reports of 50% of current jobs being rendered obsolete due to AI and automation within the next 20 years)

If anything, I would say that 1/3 who want to become homemakers has increased.

Just an impression...but a notable one

No, as in Japan males and females are more prone to adhere to traditional roles in society. This is about Japanese men's desires.

That is the whole point, boys are being educated to be more, better than just homemakers, making it terribly obvious this is not viewed as some kind of supreme role above everything else, just presented this way so women accept more easily being forced into it while men can search for success without having to deal with the undesirable chores that would bring them no recognition.

toilet cleaner.

toilet cleaner.

That, the dishes and the garbage are my duties...as well as bringing home the bacon like a good mule

Stupid survey since it mostly doesn't matter.

That is the whole point, boys are being educated to be more, better than just homemakers, 

I've worked in a high school of 1500 kids. Girls are just as encouraged to go into STEM fields as boys.

On a personal note, my daughter is currently on full scholarship at the University of Tsukuba majoring in micro-biology

As the cited survey indicates...Girls' choose homemaker over other vocations

I married my Japanese partner more than 30 years ago. She has never been a housewife/homemaker. She does the laundry and shopping and I do the rest.

Does the job help pay the bills? Yes? Then it's attractive.

If anything, I would say that 1/3 who want to become homemakers has increased. 

Just an impression...but a notable one

Had a feeling you’d have an anecdote to support your opinion.

Do you watch someone called Matt Walsh? A handle on here once linked to him. A really weird, creepy man who entertains male teenagers who are very unpopular with women and particularly strong women.

Anyway, the answer would be a Goldman Sachs type retiring early with a shed load of money.

I didn't interview or assess my Japanese partner. It was based on our love for each other and anything after that was additional. She had already passed any required tests.

Studies show that as societies become more egalitarian, men and women tend to choose occupations and roles that are more stereotypically aligned with their gender.

wallaceToday  01:46 pm JST

I married my Japanese partner more than 30 years ago. She has never been a housewife/homemaker. She does the laundry and shopping and I do the rest.

Cool. We have 5 kids and I work full time. What you or I do has no bearing on what Japanese men desire in a wife, nor what young women choose as a desired vocation.

Studies show that as societies become more egalitarian, men and women tend to choose occupations and roles that are more stereotypically aligned with their gender.

Source required, how "more aligned"? how much more compared with non egalitarian societies? how long after the changes.

As always the devil is in the details, saying that in an egalitarian society a job traditionally for females is 65% done by females seems to indicate one thing, but when that is compared with a non-egalitarian society where that job is 99% done by females it indicates another completely different.

Studies show that as societies become more egalitarian, men and women tend to choose occupations and roles that are more stereotypically aligned with their gender

Yes, that’s on the playlist of our resident podcast watchers. They talk about oil rig workers a lot too.

公務員 is a great job for women in Japan. It is safe, the pay is good, if you have kids the benifts are second to none and the pension is good too. It is also easy to get promoted for women compared to many other jobs. If you are strong then you can finish on time and take decent holidays too.

The labor force participation rate for women in Japan was 54.9% in 2023. 

Cool. How many of those women have to work and would choose otherwise if given the choice? Clearly, many women want to work…the survey cited showed 2/3rds do want to work. It also shows that 1/3rd prefer to be homemakers. This being about men’s choices one is left wondering if “homemaker” had been an option, would it have been up there among cook, nurse and pre-school teacher…roles that homemakers have. I’d surmise that all the top choices wrapped into one would garner the most votes…call it a hunch, Jimizo

I'm sure the women who read this will rush right out to get a new job so that they become more attractive to men.

BARF.

I'm sure the women who read this will rush right out to get a new job so that they become more attractive to men.

BARF.

It's the kind of survey a woman would come up with.

Geeter Mckluskie

The labor force participation rate for women in Japan was 54.9% in 2023. 

Cool. How many of those women have to work and would choose otherwise 

That would apply equally to men.

 saying that in an egalitarian society a job traditionally for females is 65% done by females seems to indicate one thing, but when that is compared with a non-egalitarian society where that job is 99% done by females it indicates another completely different.

True, among the Piraha (Amazonian tribal people untouched by outside social influence) women rear the children, men hunt.

In Japan, women and girls have a choice...1/3 choose homemaker as their preferred vocation

That would apply equally to men.

No argument here. It applies to me for sure

Geeter Mckluskie

That would apply equally to men.

No argument here. It applies to me for sure

So your teaching is a job not a vocation?

The divorce rate for international marriages is higher, with more than half ending in divorce.

interesting stat - would be nice to know the specifics of which cultural aspects came in to play

That is the whole point, boys are being educated to be more, better than just homemakers,

why all the disrespect for homemakers?

So your teaching is a job not a vocation?

It's my vocation, yes.

It wouldn't be my choice if my wife had decided to continue working.

I'd rather have been a homemaker.

Yes, that’s on the playlist of our resident podcast watchers. They talk about oil rig workers a lot too.

What's with the constant "podcast watcher" coping mechanism, Jim? Meanwhile you're out here regurgitating the same tired Guardian-approved talking points like a human NPC.

In Japan, women and girls have a choice...1/3 choose homemaker as their preferred vocation

So communities where the concept of equality between genders is completely unknown the occupation is absolutely segregated, and those where it begins to gain traction this difference is reduced importantly.

This of course completely defeat your claim that "as societies become more egalitarian, men and women tend to choose occupations and roles that are more stereotypically aligned with their gender" In fact the opposite is what is observed.

why all the disrespect for homemakers?

You would have to ask society in general, for some reason the culture consider it something that boys would be wasted doing so they have to aim "higher". Part of the gender inequality problem.

Any job that enables us to be a good partnership. Car sales in my case ( ◠‿◠ ).

Why settle for a nurse when you can marry a doctor?

I'm sure the women who read this will rush right out to get a new job so that they become more attractive to men.

BARF

The most frequent poll about marriage in Japan is "how much do you want your husband to earn?" The answer is usually in the top decile of young men's salaries.

Dishwasher

So communities where the concept of equality between genders is completely unknown the occupation is absolutely segregated.

Your premise contends that the concept of equality is between genders is completely unknown. If a man equally distributes his catch of fish and meat among the women of the tribe does he not see them as equal?

You imagine that rearing children is a role that is of lesser value than that hunting and therefore unequal in terms of status. That's untrue of the Piraha. The women are highly revered and as in Japanese society are considered head of the family unit.

 men and women tend to choose occupations and roles that are more stereotypically aligned with their gender

Sweden, one of the most egalitarian societies on the planet reveals that women go primarily into fields such as humanities (languages, social science, education) Nursing, Arts, while men "tend to choose" STEM fields more often than women.

Your premise contends that the concept of equality is between genders is completely unknown.

That is a natural thing to think since primitive societies are not known because of equality, so an "untouched" community would not know about these concepts that are mostly modern, which explain why the division of tasks is so universal.

If a man equally distributes his catch of fish and meat among the women of the tribe does he not see them as equal?

No, that is not what gender equality means.

https://www.gender.go.jp/english_contents/about_danjo/toward/society/index.html

A "gender-equal society" is a "society in which both men and women, as equal members, have the opportunity to participate in all kinds of social activities at will, equally enjoy political, economical and cultural benefits, and share responsibilities."

You imagine that rearing children is a role that is of lesser value than that hunting and therefore unequal in terms of status. 

No, I demonstrate that societies like the Japanese one assume this and that is why they impose this "lower" task on women and think men waste their capacity if they do it.

Sweden, one of the most egalitarian societies on the planet reveals that women go primarily into fields such as humanities (languages, social science, education) Nursing, Arts, while men "tend to choose" STEM fields more often than women.

Again.

As always the devil is in the details, saying that in an egalitarian society a job traditionally for females is 65% done by females seems to indicate one thing, but when that is compared with a non-egalitarian society where that job is 99% done by females it indicates another completely different.

Is this gender preference different more or less important than in less egalitarian societies? if it is less pronounced that means this is precisely the effect of social development, not the opposite as you misrepresent.

That is a natural thing to think since primitive societies are not known because of equality, so an "untouched" community would not know about these concepts that are mostly modern, which explain why the division of tasks is so universal.

Two things. First, this contention "*untouched" community would not know about these concepts that are mostly modern" *is piffle as "concepts" need not be articulated to be understood or followed. The Piraha act out their notion of equality...as in the sharing example noted. "reciprocity" and "empathy" are also concepts valued among the Piraha...among all humans in fact...and in many animals, who are dumb to articulate the "concept". Your premise does not hold up. Saying sharing the yield equally does nothing to refute that as being an example of the notion of equality among the Piraha. " enjoy political, economical and cultural benefits, and share responsibilities." Yes, they share responsibilities, their economy is food, the women are head of the family...that's their politics**.

Next, a more egalitarian system regarding employment is one in which the government or employers don't put their hand on the scales to determine outcomes, thereby making it hard to determine choice. Just as a strict Islamic society in which women have no choice "trending" is impossible to determine as their is no "trending" for women who have simply been assigned their role with no choice. In more egalitarian societies such as Japan and Sweden, we can see more clearly what choices women make.