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Worst date ever! Japanese ladies reveal the top five date ideas to avoid

42 Comments
By Evie Lund

Dating these days is a complete minefield, and nowhere more so than in Japan. There’s a lot of stress put on guys to impress a girl with their choice of date spot. Sure, you can get away with cute cafe dates with yummy tea and cake during the “getting to know you” phase, but after that the onus is pretty much always on the guy to come up with something enjoyable each time. In fact, indecisiveness when it comes to date decisions is a major turn-off for Japan’s ladies, according to a survey conducted by Livedoor.

To avoid potential dating disasters next time you’re in Japan, here are the top five dates to avoid if you don’t want her to run screaming.

1. Movie Theater Date

Seeing a movie together may be a classic staple of the dating world, but it seems that Japan’s ladies aren’t impressed. If you’ve been to a movie theater in Japan, you’ll know that it’s basic etiquette to be completely silent throughout the film (and sit and watch the credits all the way through, even if there’s no extra scenes after). What this equates to is a date conducted in absolute silence, which the surveyees apparently find rather a waste of time. “I don’t like it if I have to be silent. I want to talk to him,” bemoans one lady. Of the 249 people surveyed, a significant 9.6% of them singled out movie theater dates as a definite no-no.

2. Amusement Park Date

Next on our list is a date to an amusement park. What could go wrong? You’ve got rides to ride, cute things to buy, themed food to eat… but according to 4.4% of the survey participants, girls would prefer going to an amusement park with their friends. Furthermore, one participant claimed that “going to an amusement park on a date is too exhausting.”

3. Pool/Beach Date

Unsurprisingly in body-conscious Japan, going for a swim with your sweetie is something most would rather avoid. “a) I don’t want to wear a swimsuit in front of him. b) I don’t want to get sunburnt. And c) it’s just too much to deal with”, states one survey participant. “I worry about whether I’ve got any visible body hair and also about my figure,” explains another. Hmm, it seems it’s better to err on the side of caution and plan dates that your lady friend can participate in fully-clothed. It’s just good manners.

4. Karaoke Date

If you’re the kind of person who couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, you’ll probably understand how this one could be a bit awkward. However, it appears that Japanese women are more concerned about second-hand embarrassment than their own singing skills. “If he’s a terrible singer, I worry about how I’ll be able to keep a straight face,” one participant explains. Having to be careful about the choice of song material was another concern – what if he thinks you have terrible taste in music? Actually, it’s all a bit too risky, isn’t it? Better skip this one.

5. Car Date

This one might sound a bit weird if you’re from a country where everyone drives everywhere, but in Japan, where public transport is so consistently reliable, not everyone owns a car. In fact, owning a car is a bit of a status symbol, especially in a built-up area like Tokyo. So it’s no surprise that the suggestion of a romantic drive smacks of being a bit of a try-hard. “When it’s just the two of us in his car, it feels a bit awkward,” explains one participant. “What if I get car-sick?” panics another.

Also on the list of dates that don’t impress Japanese ladies much: walking around Akihabara (“It’s not interesting!”), going to a game center/arcade (“I don’t understand how to have fun there”), going to an izakaya/pub (“It’s too loud, the atmosphere is all wrong”), going for a walk in the park in summer (“Bugs! Bugs will sting me!”), and going to an onsen/hot spring (“Since we can’t go in together, what’s the point?”)

Source: Livedoor Japan

Read more stories from RocketNews24. -- Nine reasons why Japanese men hesitate to say “I love you” -- Don’t like drinking with the boss? No Promotion For You! -- "Married Men Don’t Look Happy!” “Wives Unnecessary!”: An Increasing Number of Japanese Men Opting for Bachelorhood

© RocketNews24

©2019 GPlusMedia Inc.


42 Comments
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Funny, there's no mention of the "Drag me to a cheap love motel" date. I guess that would be okay then. Also not mentioned are the "Take me shopping at Louis Vuitton" date, or the "Get approved credit for this expensive jewelry" date.

18 ( +18 / -0 )

Though not at all for me, I am curious ~ what type of dates DO Japanese young women find interesting?

16 ( +16 / -0 )

How about a visit to one's house for lunch with mom and dad at home? LOL Just food for thought, but cell phones should be banned during a date. No?

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Funny, there's no mention of the "Drag me to a cheap love motel" date. I guess that would be okay then

Usually they want you to take them to dinner or something first. But often after that taking them to a love hotel is entirely fine.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

Seems it the same all over the world, but that's the whole point of dating. It is truly about having to keep trying for both men and women until you find the right person.

Despite popular modern myth, there is NOT an app for that. :) There is no substitute for taking a chance with a real live person.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

They kinda strange I don't think they like something

1 ( +1 / -0 )

This wasn't a majority opinion...just dissenting opinions about things like the movies ( 9.6%) and what not...amusing and interesting reasons, but by no means even the average opinion. Should really be called "Overly neurotic Japanese ladies reveal the top five date ideas to avoid."

5 ( +5 / -0 )

That" Movie Date"was one i could relate with but the other picks weren't so bad, if two people have a spark enjoying each others company would suffice. I usually let her decide, just to be nice.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

going to an onsen/hot spring (“Since we can’t go in together, what’s the point?”)

Two kanji apply here: 混浴.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

So I guess boring old ramen would be safe, when people my generation were younger the back row of the movie theatre was the "hot" ticket, but then we didn't have love hotels in those days.

How about taking her to the track for a flutter on the horses, or once the casinos open maybe dinner, take in a show, a roll of the dice and a room.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

OK girls tell us guys where would you like to go to on a first date and why?, top ten answers please.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Frankly on a first date I prefer to be taken to Starbucks in the afternoon so that you don't spend too much money, and I have a convenient excuse to bow out if I don't like the chemistry between us (for example, I'm meeting a friend for dinner, I have to go home and feed my hamster, whatever). Being in a crowded but familiar place makes us both feel secure, and gives us a chance to observe each other's personal habits.

Actually, I guess that's not a first date, that's more of a pre-first-date. But it's not a bad start.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Car date? Is that something people do?

2 ( +2 / -0 )

The article says, "To avoid potential dating disasters next time you’re in Japan..." and then goes on to list five potential date activities that most visitors to Japan would not consider. Did they actually ask the respondents what they'd say if a gaijin walked up to them and asked them out? Or if they'd even talk to one, if they were in a bar with some girlfriends after work?

I'd agree (a little) with Tessa about Starbucks, but I find them extremely noisy and if you're going to pay attention to a Japanese woman who agrees to go on a date with you, a walk in a garden or visit to a temple followed by a nice lunch somewhere is, in my opinion, the best option. Of course, finding that Japanese woman to date is a serious challenge to overcome.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Of course, finding that Japanese woman to date is a serious challenge to overcome.

Why? There're so many of them in Japan.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

@TrevorPeace: talking a stroll around a temple garden is actually a nice idea! It's quiet, peaceful, and you can gauge each other's level of interest by talking about rocks, moss, garden, religion, life, and the universe (in no particular order). I wouldn't go for lunch, I'd probably just settle for an ice cream on the first date. Thanks for the idea!

@tinawatanabe: read the above.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

i make it a point to take my dates somewhere on the upper scale of things like the orchestra or a hotel restaurant with a view. the key is to choose a place that shows refined taste, sophistication and serious intentions for the relationship.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Tessa, I meant there are so many Japanese woman to choose from to date in Japan. If TrevorPease said it was difficult to find a non-Japanese woman to date, I understand.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

If we look at the survey numbers, this whole article is a waste of time. #1 - movie date...9.6% of the 249 participants is only 24 people, so about 225 people have no problem with going to the movies. #2 - amusement park date...4.4% of the 249 participants is only 11 people, so about 238 people had no problem with going to an amusement park. Then the article stops quoting percentages, maybe because they realized how worthless the information was.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Japanese ladies have spoken. I normally go shopping and cafes with my dates. Ladies I'm available...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

A pretty miserable and unimaginative list really. I don't think I've ever done any of the 5 - for obvious reasons.

The point of a date is to get to know someone - so you need to go somewhere that is neutral, interesting for some reason (sights, food, activities et al), have a meal and get to talking and laughing. We aren't building Grand Pianos here boys.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Takes two to make a great date.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

I hate the preconceived ideas and formal acting that some Japanese girls put into a date.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

I hate the preconceived ideas and formal acting that some Japanese girls put into a date.

Everyone does that, not just Japanese girls. For that matter, not just girls.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

Surely a pub/izakaiya is a good place for a date. Booze and food, something for everyone.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

So what were their preferred date activities?

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I saw a huge dating cultural clash in action a few days ago that probably wouldn't happen with J-J couples. He (Aussie guy) showed up at the appointed spot dressed in sandals, baggy cargo pants, and a slightly wrinkled t-shirt, all the better to accentuate his beer gut. She (Japanese lady) was attired in a tight-fitting, glittery dress, inch-thick make-up, carefully styled hair, and killer heels. From what I could make out of their conversation, they couldn't decide whether to go for a beer at a sports bar (his idea) or a leisurely stroll along the main shopping street (hers).

A match made in heaven! I'm sure they'll make beautiful babies.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

All of those options are better than not asking your dumb@$$ out on a date at all.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

sandals, baggy cargo pants, and a slightly wrinkled t-shirt. Seriously??? In any other country if the lady saw that when she showed up especially with the way she was dressed she would just walk away without so much as a call later on as to what happened.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

The women who helped to compile this list are not being honest.

A Japanese woman's idea of the worst kind of date is the one where she has to pay a bit of money.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

“I don’t like it if I have to be silent. I want to talk to him,” bemoans one lady

That is why they took you to a movie because they knew you would talk to much.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

“I don’t like it if I have to be silent. I want to talk to him,” bemoans one lady."

So funny to read it )))) Do they REALLY can talk?? Share their thoughts??? Especially with a foreigner?? Best laugh today )))))

0 ( +1 / -1 )

So funny to read it )))) Do they REALLY can talk?? Share their thoughts??? Especially with a foreigner??

The article is not about dates with foreigners. It's just about dates in general. So you can bet that very few, if any, of the women were thinking about foreigners when they replied.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

In any other country if the lady saw that when she showed up especially with the way she was dressed she would just walk away without so much as a call later on as to what happened.

I totally agree Jason, but his flaxen hair and big blue eyes cover a multitude of shortcomings, I'm sure. She was probably just happy to be seen with him.

A Japanese woman's idea of the worst kind of date is the one where she has to pay a bit of money.

Ha ha! So true!

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Ah, I see there's a bit of apparent misogyny floating around again. I'll admit that I've only dated a few Japanese women, but not the types you lot seem to have dated. Maybe because I take the time to learn about their likes and dislikes rather than pouncing like some wolf on a mission to repopulate the planet. I'm always amazed at the nasty way some of the posters here refer to Japanese women, as if they are all greedy children.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Ah, I see there's a bit of apparent misogyny floating around again. I'll admit that I've only dated a few Japanese women, but not the types you lot seem to have dated. Maybe because I take the time to learn about their likes and dislikes rather than pouncing like some wolf on a mission to repopulate the planet. I'm always amazed at the nasty way some of the posters here refer to Japanese women, as if they are all greedy children.

I think it's a combination of two things, though both have the same root cause.

1) many foreigners in Japan don't speak much Japanese. So they date women, and run into communication issues. Not speaking Japanese, they also don't understand Japan so well, and therefore misread the reasons behind these communication issues.

2) In not being able to speak Japanese, these foreigners are tied to a small subset of Japanese women who both speak English and have an interest in Western men. The women in this subset often have gone this route due to an inability to effectively get along with Japanese men, due to their own personality problems.

And a bonus #3) Not a small number of guys who come to Japan had their own problems dealing with western women before they came to Japan, and that's without a language barrier.

Combine these three points, and the result is guys who misdiagnose the problem as being one with Japanese women, when the problem actually lies in themselves and the small number of women they are able to interact with.

Of course there will be exceptions to all the above points, but generally if you look at guys who think Japanese women as a group are all b*****s, you will find some combination of the above three points.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

3) Not a small number of guys who come to Japan had their own problems dealing with western women before they came to Japan, and that's without a language barrier.

Hammer, nail, head!

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

I'm always amazed at the nasty way some of the posters here refer to Japanese women, as if they are all greedy children.

You're taking this site's comments section too seriously.

I think it's a combination of two things, though both have the same root cause.

I think your premise is wrong.

If anything, I think the guys who have little-to-no Japanese ability generally seem to have happier relationships in Japan.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Strangerland

I think that it an element of truth in some of what you've said, the problem is of course, that generalisations don't account for all stories, so I was reflecting on your post in relation to the people I know who date/are married to Japanese Men/women, and truly, each pairing is different, and not so easily squeezed into these boxes.

I certainly know a couple or two where the girl is clearly unusual. By that I mean firstly just flat out strange, but also other examples where they are atypical in that she is interested in breaking out of the uniformity and predictability of Japanese life - sometimes based on travel experiences. Some of these are the longest lasting couples I know.

I certainly know examples of western guys that are strange/awkward chaps who meet and date/marry Japanese women (which applies more broadly to other Asian women also). I think though, that it's a stretch to say that there is no way they could date a Western woman, because that's just a stupid generalisation that gets perpetuated in Japan to bully/make fun of people.

There are also unions of both.

Then there are normal couples who seem perfectly well adjusted and have just found happiness in cross-cultural relationships. I know several of these, where both partners are engaging, charming and great people.

But at the end of the day, if they are happy, whose business is it really? I never understand the need to judge people on this.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

It might have been helpful for these ladies to say what dates they don't like and then give a preferable alternative.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

I think that it an element of truth in some of what you've said, the problem is of course, that generalisations don't account for all stories, so I was reflecting on your post in relation to the people I know who date/are married to Japanese Men/women, and truly, each pairing is different, and not so easily squeezed into these boxes.

Your comparison was off though. I wasn't making a claim as to all Western male with Japanese female relationships, I was just pointing out the reason(s) that some foreigner men in Japan have such a negative attitude towards Japanese women. The reasons listed have don't apply to guys who are not bitter about Japanese women.

But at the end of the day, if they are happy, whose business is it really? I never understand the need to judge people on this.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

When I was dating here and back in the USA before I got married here was the plan:

First date: Denny's (USA) or ramen shop (Japan). If I didn't like the chemistry I always said, "Well, I'll pay the bill and best to you. I think we just aren't clicking." OR "Well how about a movie?"

Dates after: Dinner, whatever she decided as I would say, "This is about you so I am up for anything you are."

No motel or love hotel until at least the 5th date and a wet suit was a must before diving. I certainly did not take them to my place or go to their place.

Now for the women in the article: get real, if you were fashion models I could see you pretentious and narcissistic attitude. If your not then get ready for a life of solitude with your pretty princess drivel.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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