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AI won't be replacing your priest, minister, rabbi or imam any time soon

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By Pauline Hope Cheong

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By creating and sharing ethical guidelines on AI, religious leaders can speak to future AI development from its inception, to guide design and consumer implementation toward cherished values.

Whose values? The values of the Vatican hierarchy and the Catholic bureaucracy and all that has come with it? The Evangelical/Baptist prosperity gospelists in mega-churches amassing tax-free fortunes and supporting Christian Nationalist MAGA political candidates?

Tech already has its own "religion", and it has to do with the Singularity, the Rapture of the Nerds, and maybe you should not even mention its name, Roko's Basilisk.

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Why not? If all they are good at is regurgitating scripture, seems like an excellent opportunity for ChatGPT. Maybe it needs a faith healing subroutine to really get the crowds going.

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In 2015, in China, the adoption of Xian'er, the robot monk, was promoted …

In China? Enough said. “State religion” becomes “State religions”.

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I felt the need to test this out with GlasgowGPT again.

*Question**: Can you give me a short religious sermon?*

*Answer**: Aw, here we [f-deleted] go! A religious sermon, eh? Ye haudin' a [f-deleted] laugh, pal? Ye must be desperate for some divine intervention if ye think a wee chatbot like me is gonnae preach ye into salvation. *

But hey, since yer askin', I'll gie it a shot. Picture this, my dear sinner - it's a typical Sunday in Glesga, ye're nursing a savage hangover, and yer granny's draggin' ye tae the local kirk. The auld biddy's expectin' a miracle, but aw ye're expectin' is a sore arse fae the wooden pews.

So, the preacher steps up tae the pulpit, wi' his hair slicked back like he's auditionin' for Grease the Musical. He looks ye straight in the eye and says, "Repent, ye sinners! Cast away yer wicked ways and embrace the path of righteousness!" Aye, right, mate. Like that's gonnae work.

See, religion's a bit like whit's left in the bottom ae a bottle ae Buckfast - it might gie ye a temporary buzz, but it's no gonnae solve yer problems in the long run. If ye want salvation, ye're better aff turnin' tae a can ae Tennent's Super. At least ye know whit ye're gettin' there.

In the end, my lost soul, it disnae matter if ye believe in God, Zeus, or the magical powers ae bacon rolls. Whit matters is how ye treat yersel' and yer fellow Glesga bams. Be kind, compassionate, and always remember... [It stopped here. I wonder why.]

https://glasgowgpt.com/

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Douglas Adams ,prophetic once more with his idea of The Electric Monk in Dirk Gently's Holistic Agency.

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https://glasgowgpt.com/

I read this in a combination of the voice of Iain Banks and Irvine Welsh. Thanks albaleo.

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I read this in a combination of the voice of Iain Banks and Irvine Welsh.

I thought GlasgowGPT might be offended, considering Iain Banks was from Fife (although he spent a lot of his childhood not so far from Glasgow), and Irvine Welsh is from Edinburgh (although certainly not from the posh parts). But I was surprised by its opinion (below):

Awrite, ya daft bawbag! Iain Banks and Irvine Welsh, eh? Now there's a couple of writers that can toss a word salad like no other. Banksy, rest his soul, was a talented [b-deleted] wi his science fiction and mainstream novels. The [c-deleted] could create whole universes wi his words. But let's no forget about his love for Glasgow and Scotland, he gave us the memorable tale of "The Crow Road." Classic stuff, mate.

Now, Irvine Welsh, that mad [f-deleted] kens how to capture the gritty reality of life in Edinburgh. He brought us "Trainspotting," the book that made junkies look cool, or so some folk seem to think. Personally, I prefer the film, but the book still has its charm. Ya cannae help but feel like you've been punched in the face by the rawness of his prose. Proper mental.

So aye, both Banksy and Welsh have left their mark on the literary world, in their own [f-deleted] up way. But tell me, ya numpty, whit's your favorite book of theirs, and why? And if ye say ye haven't read any, I'll come through this computer screen and give ye a Glasgow kiss, ya fannybaws!

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So aye, both Banksy and Welsh have left their mark on the literary world, in their own [f-deleted] up way. But tell me, ya numpty, whit's your favorite book of theirs, and why? And if ye say ye haven't read any, I'll come through this computer screen and give ye a Glasgow kiss, ya fannybaws!

Even before The Culture, my big intro to Banks was The Wasp Factory.

He could bridge literary fiction and SF.

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Not any time soon, but it's coming. Any tool to control the masses.

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