I cannot express the excitement I feel when I meet other Australians in Japan. I believe it stems from my need to cling to everything and anything about my home country, no matter how small or inconsequential.
As an expat, we make that decision to leave home, to leave what feels normal and comfortable in order to experience the new and unexpected. We crave excitement, new situations and new people the way pregnant women crave cookie dough. Whether it be the challenge of a new language, a new culture or a new job, moving abroad is the ultimate test of our resilience and adaptability.
On a personal level, I feel that living in Japan has opened my eyes to qualities in myself that I never thought I possessed. The ability to put myself out in the world instead of sitting at home watching endless amounts of American television. The ability to sign up for a phone plan, order pizza or change my address all in a foreign language. The ability to say ‘yes’ to going anywhere, with anyone (except to strangers with candy, don’t worry Mum, I haven’t forgotten). But most of all, the ability to accept a new culture, even assimilate it somewhat, but to never forget the way my own culture lives within me.
Talking to other expats I know, they fall into either one of two categories. The “This place is awesome and I would never go back home” group or the “This place is cool but damn I miss my own country more”. For me, I fall into the latter category. I love certain things about Japan – the convenience of vending machines, the subway, yakiniku and karaoke to name a few – but I feel that living here has made me appreciate my home more. I miss the awesome sandy beaches with clear, blue water, barbeque sausages with tomato sauce (not ketchup), road trips with friends and $10 steaks at the pub.
So in order to keep my sanity, there are certain things that I do to help me hold on, even if ever so slightly, to the lifestyle of the land down under.
I am constantly on either Facebook, Skype or Whatsapp
This is mostly to stay connected to the people I miss from home. I’ll admit I’m a pretty fastidious Facebook user, often logging on multiple times a day. Add to that the weekly Skype calls to family and the constant messaging to friends and it can seem as if there is no great distance separating us. I often wonder how expats of 10 years ago survived without these technologies. Being able to keep even this simple, technological link to my former home does wonders for my homesickness.
I try to find and cook my favorite foods
I’m a big fan of Japanese food but I believe there is only so much sushi one can eat before really needing a huge steak. And not the kind of tiny steaks one gets at yakiniku either. I mean a full-on steak for one, with chips, salad and gravy on the side. I was so desperate for a chicken schnitzel dinner that I got my mother to bring bread crumbs over to Japan when she visited. I’m also a regular customer at Yamaya (the foreign foods supermarket) in JR Namba station – and not only because it sells the cheapest booze around.
I got a subscription to NRL live for my television
So as not to miss any of the rugby league action back home, I spent around $100 on a sports subscription that I can stream through my computer. Now I get to watch even more football than I was able to back home (Pay TV is especially expensive in AUS). I love the fact that I can watch the Sunday afternoon game live-to-air, a game that is delayed by an hour on regular television back home.
I love talking to other Aussies
Whenever I meet other Australians, it’s like something pops inside my brain and my accent comes out in full force. Suddenly, references like “Please Explain” and “I’m Excited” make sense and I don’t feel like a complete idiot for using words like “capsicum,” "chips” and “tomato sauce.”
I wear my flip flops EVERYWHERE
Even when it’s ridiculously inappropriate, there is still enough of the Aussie in me to not care and wear them anyway. I even wore them in the typhoon the other day. Not even horrid weather patterns can stop me.
Of course, I’m sure there are many other ways that I’m not aware of that connect me to my home. But it’s these small comforts and reminders that help me get through those times when I wonder if moving away was a mistake.
What kinds of things do you do to stay connected to your home?
© Japan Today
35 Comments
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ultradork
Sounds like she'll be heading home pretty soon.
cubic
Try to enjoy life in Japan, rather than spending all of your time trying to recreate life back home.
NeoJamal
Wait, what? is Osaka part of Japan now?
kaminarioyaji
I think that you can adapt to most things living in another country (The food, the weather, etc), and when I first arrived I tended to not hang out with other foreigners simply for the sake of improving my Japanese, but quickly found that, from time to time, I do need the company of my fellow countrymen, or those that have a similar culture, simply so I could have a bit of banter.
Japanese humour is funny, but it's also very different to that of my country's. I think it's the intangible things (humour, shared history, etc) that most people tend to miss.
caffeinebuzz
I think also that both solely hanging out with other expats or with Japanese have their own huge drawbacks. On one hand you have the people who won't integrate or do anything proactively without a group of other foreigners- and then you have the bizarro green tea and onsen bunch who shun other expats and make any encounter absolutely awkward. I indulge a bit in all the local food and cultural stuff I can, because I know that when I go home I'm going to miss it badly, or regret not making the best of my time here. That said, you can't go past a steak/schnitzel and Aussie beer every now and then, but just a hint- you can get all kinds of breadcrumbs here, so instead of getting your mum to bring them over, try getting out of Yamaya's aisles and check out your local supermarket ;)
sakurala
I write letters to my grandma and talk to her 2 times a month. A few times a year, I will also make some homemade version of a food that I crave but can't find anywhere.Other than that, I don't really go out of my way to connect with things back home. I rather enjoy my life in Japan rather than trying to skype people in different time zones and email all day and night.
nath
Plenty of shops where you can buy overseas ingredients/foods or places where you can get the home-feel. Got a german bakery close-by with a proper cafe that serves lunch too. I bake my own bread and often cook overseas dishes.
Yes, I live in Japan and at times meet-up with foreign friends but mostly my foreign and family communication is confined to the Net.
The way I see it best of both worlds/country, I get to choose which I want, when I want it.
cleo
Home is where you hang your hat. Life is far too short to spend it hankering after the stuff you left at the other side of the world. Enjoy where you are, wherever you are.
But Skype and Facebook are great for keeping in touch with the dear folk you left behind (physically, if not in your heart).
papasmurfinjapan
I'm also from Australia, and Japanese people always ask me "Which country do you prefer?". I'm sure many, if not most of us here have been asked the same question hundreds of times. When I tell them "Japan", they seem truly shocked. "How can you like Japan more?!" they say, then talk about how beautiful the beaches are in Australia and how nice the people are.
What they don't understand is, for better or worse, my career is here, my home is here, the people I care most about in the world are right here. No amount of beautiful beaches can compensate for that. Japan is my home.
If there ever comes a time when I miss my country more than I like Japan, then I will go home. But for now, I am right where I want to be. I admit, I do have a big jar of vegemite in the kitchen to remind me of home though.
y3chome
aggree with you caffeinebuzz. Its a little similar to the Only Gay in the Village scenario..... sometimes it is just downright painfully awkward.
sourpuss
I agree with Cleo. Home is where you are.
Furthermore, this writer needs to understand that you can't put a gazillion people into a few little boxes.
Neither. I think both Canada and Japan are nice places with equal doses of good and bad.
I wear flip flops everywhere too, and I'm Canadian. Should I become Australian? Come to think of it, a lot of Japanese wear flip flops everywhere too. Yikes! Open the floodgates!
Cletus
As an aussie who is heading home very soon l have to say l partly agree with what the writer has said, but it is a bit hard to pidgeon hole people into two catagories as l honestly believe there are many more. I also believe home is where the heart is and while Japan is nice and has some good features my heart is not here. There is just to much l miss about home to ever consider Japan as anything more than an experience. Real beaches, open spaces, houses with backyards, not living in your next door neighbors pocket, being allowed to have a bbq at your house. Real decent cheap meat the list goes on an on. However there are some totally cool things that Japan has that we dont have at home that l will truly miss customer service (what do you want just doesnt cut it anymore), decent speed internet, speed camera detectors in cars (life savers lol) vending machines everywhere and the list goes on and on.
But really in the end we are all different and really home is where you make it and where your heart is and for me thats many thousands of km away. And before anyone suggests l pack up and head back there dont worry l am already in the process.
nath
Cletus.
Good for you. I know we had our differences, no hard feelings.
My family is rather global encompassing different creeds and nationalities. I decided to make my home here(Japan) and my son was born here but deep in the heart I will always be from where I was born and raised.
Lived in and travelled the globe due to business, etc.
Cletus
It"s ME,
Thanks and definitely no hard feelings life's to short for that rubbish.
I honestly have loved my time here and have had so many chances to see things l never would have but at the end of the day my heart isnt here and home is calling and the closer it gets to leaving the louder that call gets. At the end of the day you need to be where you are happy, your happy here and that's good who knows some day you may just wake up and think l want to go home. I know that l sure had that thought. So the countdown is on.
Ben Jack
Why can't you have a bbq at your house in Japan?
Other than that, I enjoyed reading your post.
NeoJamal
I think he means that it's physically impossible to do so in your tiny mud and gravel patch you would dare to tell your western friends that's a garden.
Cletus
Ben Jack
Its in our tenant agreement that we are not allowed to have a bbq as it would affect our neighbors. Every property we looked at had the same clause in the rental agreement.
And l also loved NeoJamal's reason too....
Oh and a couple of other things l miss, decent insulation in houses and being able to make a noise or have the tv at a decent level without half the neighborhood hearing.
nath
The houses are too close.
Myself got a nearby 2 parks that have nice BBQ areas(one under sakura trees). Of course you won't find those in central Tokyo.
One park is an old engine factory that was bombed during WWII(Nakashima engine factory employing teens and kids), got turned into a baseball stadium later and is now a park.
Ben Jack
That is amazing. I've never heard of such a thing before. I wonder if it is an area thing?
In general, I have it mentioned that you are not allowed to use a bbq inside a rental home (actually I think in most cases even if you own it yourself). However, this outside as well is pretty strict. Affect the neighbors, huh? I wonder how that works with barking dogs.
Cletus
Ben,
I guess the smell of a few t bones, snags and chops would be to offensive for the locals.... Of the 7 places we viewed every single one had the same clause. Even outdoors it was banned very strange though l agree
nath
Cletus.
You didn't invite them. My neighbours loved the boerewors and lamb-chops(home-made mint sauce) and even supplied their on meats.
Rules who cares? We didn't.
nath
I got a monthly order to:
The Meat Guy
Indojin.com
Also visit Kaldi, Hanamasa, etc and similar stores. Fulfils my needs
And my apple-pies are done.
illsayit
Theyre not called flipflops, theyre called thongs. Or else I dont know what youre talking about?
JohhnyGlitterball
I cannot remember the last non Japanese i spoke to face to face. So easy to contact back home and so much available here you don`t miss much. Since i first came here (93) things are much easier and the world is a much smaller place. Until a few years ago i would say i want to go back to UK but after my last visit in 2009 i prefer life in Japan.
Ben Jack
Funny, I remember reading about some real estate agents who did not want to show or rent to foreigners because they cooked food that "smelled funny". I guess the tradition still lives on in some areas. Just curious, do you know Japanese people to whom the same rules apply in your area?
cleo
There's a world of difference between flipflops (beach sandals) and thongs (similar to a G-string). Getting them mixed up could make life....interesting.
Barbeques - never had any problems. People round here often have the charcoal going out in the garden, and people who live in rented flats set their stuff out in the parking area between flats. No complaints that I know of.
illsayit
cleo-thanks for the distinction, but you still make no sense. Thongs arewhat are worn at the beach or anywhere else, and if you want to suggest that they are a g-string that is your own sexual appetite talking to you. If you dont say thong then your only half Australian or Mexican(as those below the border Vcitorians are referred to, in case you didnt get that, or in case you are Victorian or Mexican and wanted to take offense). All Australians know the Victorian Mexicans have a thang for trying to sound eloquent-thus they like to say flip-flop-can someone tell me how that sounds eloquent? But if your Aussie, you know what thongs are, no confusion whatsoever.
papasmurfinjapan
I have to second that. Aussies would never confuse thongs with underwear.
What makes life interesting is when Americans start talking to British/Australian English speakers about fannies...
FightingViking
A quick check of Wikipedia may just prove that Cleo is right... and I'm sure you'll enjoy the photo that proves it...
papasmurfinjapan
She is right and wrong. I think the point here is words have different meanings in different countries. If you are trying act Australian and say you are wearing flip flops, you will get a strange look.... like saying you want to use the bathroom, or put a shrimp on the barbie..
GW
While its clearly great to enjoy where you live & I have a great setup here in Japan, live yr round in my cottage, BBQ on my deck, fire pit out in the yard, ponds, trees, plenty of parking & a separate plot about 20x30m for growing more veggies its easy to do, just get outta the damned cities & you will have green, cleaner air, lots of choices just make them. Gotta get outside & pick a bunch more blueberries too!
That said I just got back from Cda, so my SMUG levels(if you remember a certain thread) are back up. I love both Cda & Jpn, but meeting friends, family & strangers back in Cda it was easy to see people were MUCH happier(even with a crapier economy etc) than most in Japan, my nephew in uni is talking about potential jobs, night & day compared to Japan, but I have a decent solution............
In Japan, GET OUT of the cities & life is cheaper, more room, fresher foods, it makes a world of difference, if I had stayed in Tokyo & its surroundings I likely wud have left ages ago(& with 3/11, tepco & stupid govts over 20yrs I often wonder if I shud have LOL!)
caffeinebuzz
Cletus, good luck with everything going back. I'll be heading back home soon too, and I'm definitely not looking forward to the crappy internet speeds/allowances, but it'll be a good refresher to get back and unwind for a bit. Have a 'whale' of a time, if you remember those threads;)
JDB829
A little bit off topic perhaps, but for me one of the coolest things has been being able to host people I met during my stay in Japan in the states, and vice versa. Truely blessed I am!
Nessie
If only Japan had bread crumbs. Or if there were some way to cook them.
Alas, the recipe was lost when the recipe for ice was lost.
Ranger_Miffy2
Flip-flops. Nice touch.
I wear the tatami-matted Japanese version (with toe straps of Japanese traditional cotton) here all the time. Have resigned myself to constant remarks over this. Usually I wonder why more Jpns don't wear them as they are terrifically comfortable, convenient, pretty, and not expensive. Plus cool.