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And so the "bonenkais" (end-of-year parties) are over and so too most of the "shinenkais" (new year parties).
This year I managed to avoid most of mine through a variety of “schedule conflict” based excuses. There was once a time I would have never passed up on a bottle, but as I’ve gotten older, too many memories of “the morning(s) after” haunt me.
I wouldn’t quite call myself a recovering alcoholic ... more so a person who has finally learned the necessity of setting my own limits.
So I stayed home ... passing up on quite a few get-togethers, and, quite frankly speaking, got a bit depressed thinking of all the fun the folks were having without me.
Ironically, I entertained myself by renting Ken Burns’ latest documentary “Prohibition.” The series painted a picture of just how deeply rooted the legacy of prohibition is in American society, a country where, event to this day, liquor is heavily regulated and “dry counties” still exist.
Further, it went into the relationship between the American temperance movement and societal racism and xenophobia. One scene points out that nothing was more terrifying to many “Natives” (White Anglo Saxon Protestants) than the idea of a black man with a bottle in one hand and a voting ballot in the other. The Irish rioted in many towns during early attempts to go dry. World War I fueled an anti-German sentiment in which beer was viewed as a German conspiracy to poison the men, women and youth of our God-fearing country. In the process, taverns were smashed, a poor fellow lynched for doing not much more than walking down the street and speaking German. Even poor dachshunds were stoned.
While watching the documentary, I couldn’t help but remember how shocked I was at how liberal Japanese society was toward drinking when I first came here. At the height of the bubble, it seemed that within a couple of hours after work, almost everyone seemed to be drunk. On top of that, you rarely heard talk about people being “alcoholics” or stories about the social woes that resulted from the excessive partaking of spirits.
It was around that time that I was working in Meguro in Tokyo. On my way home from the station one night, I passed by a takoyaki shop. Back then, I couldn’t read any Japanese, and the prices were written in Japanese, so I didn’t know how much it cost. I am prone to have unmanageable pockets full of loose small change. (People nickname me “Doraemon”.) When I asked the master at the window “ikura?” he gave me the 5 signal and I moved off to the corner to try to pull my coins together. Thinking I was short of money and happy to meet a foreigner, he suddenly asked me in and began saying, “Sabisu! Sabisu!” serving me up not only takoyaki, but the shochu drink of my choice from a huge jug he had.
From that day on, Master and I became friends – and Kyoto-style garlic takoyaki and Fanta High marked the end of my days of having a slimmed-down physique.
In addition to me, there was a young “punk rock” female from Mie who lived over the shop. Mami would come in and we’d sit and drink while Master, who was living out of the back of the shop, also drank and made the takoyaki. He had a wife and family, but lived separate from them, and also an identical twin brother who ran a takoyaki shop a few blocks away, which caused many people to do double takes when they walked past the shop.
The fellow drank and drank and would often give me money and ask me to pick up his jugs. Then we’d sit, drink and talk as best we could. One day he told me how, at the height of the bubble, he had run a jewelry shop, and spent money every night on girls of all nationalities -- Russians, Filipinas, even “Europeans” -– but the economy became bad and he had other problems and ran into debt. Now he was running a takoyaki shop. Eventually I met his wife and daughter, and it became apparent that he had a wonderful family, but was a man haunted by a deep sense of shame and failure who viewed the shop more as a punishment for his past indiscretions than a business.
Little by little, his drinking got worse and worse until one night, he was too drunk to make the takoyaki. There was a huge line of customers outside. We tried to help him... Mami had very large assets, and the last thing I remember was him remarking “dekai,” reaching out to try to grab them before passing out cold.
We looked at each other, then the huge line of people, and suddenly realized we had to take over -– after dragging him into his back room. We were having the time of our lives, even though the heat from the grill hurt like hell.
The party ended at closing, when Master’s brother came by and saw what had happened (something Master had been fearing and mumbling about for an hour once he began to come to). His brother was outraged. Apparently it wasn’t the first time Master had gotten himself into trouble, and his brother seemed to be making it clear it would be the last.
After that, things became strictly business with him. His brother must have told him to stop socializing with the customers, and stick to business. I saw him a year later on a return visit to Japan. He told me he no longer drank. “Kanzo” (liver), he said with a wistful look. He also told me that Mami had moved back to her hometown.
Today, a Kyushu-style ramen shop stands in its place.
And as I mentioned, I too rarely drink these days.
“But why?” people ask. “Kanzo,” I say to make things no more complicated than they need be– but if it were only that simple – also not to mention my "tsufu byo" (gout).
© Japan Today
18 Comments
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Equality
What were they pouring?
LoveNot
So Russians are not Europeans? it is irritating to relate Russians and Filipinas to night life only. So your friend has never been with an American hostess, only with Asians and Europeans?
Nicky Washida
I never understood the "slippery slope" you are talking about until quite recently. You would think I would have got it a long time ago. My father slowly drank himself to death but "he wasnt an alcoholic" according to my Mother "he just likes socialising and drinking, thats all". Yeah well, by the end he was socialising with the stepladder in the garage - at 8.30 in the morning with regular repeated visits throughout the day.
I always used to drive when I was younger so I never drank when we went out, but moving to London and taking the train everywhere changed that. Slowly my alcohol intake has crept up until now, where I have - get this - a beer a night! It doesnt sound like much, but I was horrified when I typed in the mls and ABV in one can into an internet calculator and discovered one can contains 2 units. One of those per day and I am already up to 14 units per week (the proposed safe limit for women) on top of whatever I then drink when I go out. Eek!
Thankfully I dont seem to have inherited my fathers genetic disposition to addiction and I have swiftly put the brakes on and halved my intake (well, more or less ;) !) I wouldnt mind, but its not as if I even ever really get drunk! I always have to get up in the night so I darent get too out of control, unlike my husband who will merrily puke away in one or both of our sinks after a party!
The one thing that pisses me off in any society really is the pressure to drink, and that somehow if you dont you are "not as much fun" or "uptight" or any of the other terms people use to describe non or light drinkers. My retort is that I can get up on a table and dance and have a great time after a cranberry juice! Whats your excuse?!
Fadamor
The majority of Russia (land-wise) is in Asia, so it's not surprising that he would consider Russia an Asian country. Especially when you consider most of the Russians he's probably met were from Vladivostok or thereabouts (Asia).
As for me, I got all my heavy drinking out of my system when I was in the navy. The final straw was attending a wedding reception, then picking up a six-pack and deciding to make a three hour drive up to the parent's house for the weekend. I woke up the next morning with the car parked on the side of the interstate and puke on my suit. Battery was dead. Apparently I had pulled over, turned off the engine, but left the lights on. Called a tow truck and after getting my bearings right (for some reason I had been driving BACK in the direction I had come from) he took me back to his shop and gave the battery a full charge. As I backed out of his lot, I realize the left front wheel rim is canted by 20 degrees or so. To this day I have no idea how that happened. Now days, you'll be lucky if you see me drink four pints of beer in a night. Having a large span of memories wiped from your brain is a sobering (literally) consequence.
LoveNot
wow The guy had access to Russians and Filipinas and imagine, even to Europeans, he was so rich in the bubble era! This sentence is racist, insulting and disrespectful. Notice the "even", I have the impression he puts Filipinas and Russians in a low category and "europeans" in a higher class.
No, it is very surprising he thinks Russia is an Asian country. Russia is considered an European country, culturally and historically, it is considered an Eastern European country. It is included in all European championships, and European events.
Andrew Matthews
@Nicky Washida
Yes - my downfall was almost the tube when I move to London. Well, that and the winter. I always rode a motorcycle, even when I went to work in London and live 13 miles away from work. But when the black ice hit I had to take the tube. People can drive a car drunk, but if you can't get a motorcycle off the stand and start it up, you are too drunk to ride (so I am told).
As with Landsberg-san I started to hate the mornings after. But the main kicker was waking up oner morning and seeing my motorcycle parked in the driveway, and remembering I had been drinking in a pub that was a police hangout doing yards of ale but not remember riding home. It seems most of the police were biker cops and liked my bike, so they got a police car to drive me home and another cop rode the bike. There was an extra 100 miles on it though, and I only live 2 miles from the pub.
Ranger_Miffy2
Great stories of past alcohol infused days of glory. Really, there are a LOT of benefits to growing "older and wiser"...well y'know, as opposed to "died too young".
AmericanForeigner
I don't know what takoyaki is but no matter how good it was or even if it was free I wouldn't have put up with this man's racist ramblings, I would have got up and left immediately!
Pizzaface
What about it? Non-Russian Europeans are harder to find in hostess clubs etc. Its a fact. Its also a fact that when you find them you can expect to be charged more than your run-of-the-mill Filipina club.
Do I look down upon Russians, Filipinas, Chinese etc for that fact? No I do not. In fact, I don't look down on hostesses at all, or any women in similar trades. If I did though, I can imagine the looking down on nationalities that seem to gravitate toward those trades would begin. You seem to be in an area of limbo. You feel that hostesses should be looked down on, but don't want to admit that more here are Filipina, Chinese etc, as that would mean looking down on those nationalities. The only way out is to just stop looking down on people in such simplistic generalized ways. Plenty of hostesses are good honest people doing what they can to support their families. On the other hand, plenty of well off white collar people would not send their own mother a dime. So who to look down on?
Fadamor
What they call "hostess clubs" in Japan seem to equate to the "clip joints" of my days in the navy: Two drink minimum and the drinks are way over-priced. Girls come up and stroke your ego while getting you to order more of the over-priced drinks. Bottom line is they get your money and you may or may not get drunk depending on how much they watered down the liquor. The first thing to go when you're drunk is your ability to evaluate things rationally. The honey sitting in your lap calling you "baby" is asking for you to get a $100 bottle of champagne (that probably cost the owner $15) and you say, "Yeah, why not?" They LOVE it when you're drunk!
GW
Eddie, interesting story, just watch out your bonenkai/shinenkai members dont read you on jt LOL!
I remember about 10yrs ago I realized I had to somehow quit the Chiba-Tokyo commute, it got to the point where I had to have a few in me to get on the train to go home, luckily I made some changes now I am even farther from Tokyo & work from home or a 20min drive to my office, so now I look fwd to going to Tokyo, back 10-15yrs ago I frigging dreaded it, got tired of the zoombies around me & made a change, I highly recomend it!
oginome
I don't drink and when I see people my age trying to rationalise their drinking problems ('it's only at the weekend I go all out!' or 'A few cans a day is fine') I'm so glad I never really did. You can get away with going a bit wild when you're in your teens, but doing the same from 20 onwards and then having to justify it looks increasingly sad and desperate.
AmericanForeigner
Unfortunately all too many Japanese are the like the one in the story. Drinking to excess and abdicating responsibility and then not talking through their problems but cutting off all contact with those around them due to the 'shame' based culture.
oginome
What an insightful analysis, please tell me more AmericaForeigner-sensei.
Greapper1
That's pretty lame that he blows off the bonenkais and shinenkais with fake excuses. Drinking at those parties is not mandatory. I sometimes don't feel like drinking alcohol at them, but I still go and enjoy myself. You can kanpai with tea or soda. The point of the parties is to relax, thank each other for the work they have done over the past year, and socialize.
miyazawa3
Alcohol should be band...
hoserfella
miyazawa I agree. "alcohol" is a great name for a band!
lostrune2
I know that Prohibition documentary. It was tied to the Women's Lib movement. The same people who voted for the Prohibition are the ones who violated it.