The rules of hostessing

not the most exciting article true but pretty accurate and to the point. Yes a lot more can happen at different clubs and there are all sorts in many areas ...some that have lets say loser women and sleazy customers (and the nationalities of the girls are a HUGE factor to the type of club ) there are others that are very strict about a customer even touching a girl. I am entertained by the people saying it isnt accurate or girls do sleep with customers etc...of course most of those comments come from people who have never even set food in a club or read a novel written by an ex hostess wanting to sensationalise for effect . The people with the biggest difficulty believing hostess clubs are merely harmless fantasy clubs where guys want to have guaranteed conversation with gorgeous women ..are gaijin . I worked in many clubs for many years and had girls always ask to PLEASE not seat them with foreign guys who were the most annoying and always assumed the girls were prostitutes or they could freely touch them. I still believe judging by the comments that gaijin can NOT understand the hostessing concept and no amount of explaining by girls who worked there will convince them otherwise.Yes there will always be girls in every club who have slept with customers...it happens as they form an attachment or a girl may choose to sleep with a guy because she finds his wealth enticing...it happens...it also happens a lot more in a ''normal'' night clubs and in society in general.

I think that hostessing is good. Because I cannot find the bad points of hostessing. If there is a bad point, the cost is high. I am a man. So I think that going to hostess is enjoyable, and feel relieved, relaxing. Seeing from women, they became hostess because almost of them wanted to become. So I cannot find the bad points. Hostessing doesn’t influense the society. So it doesn’t a problem. It is good that people who want to go to the hostess go, and want to become the hostess become.

Roxy (I know, not your real name and why should it be?!), a few points:

1) On several occasions you tried to point out that hostesses don't usually have sex with a client. OK (wink!) For 30,000 en the guys just wants to talk with (charming) you on their dohan!

2) There are no "highly-respected" hostess clubs. A whorehouse by any other name...

3) When you return to the real world for a real job, are you going to put hostessing on your CV and explain what you did there? I wouldn't either.

4) Surely you are aware of how Japanese and foreign men and women view hostessing. As 90% of the above comments suggest, it isn't flattering.

A few points: First, "Roxy" may have been a somewhat sexy pseudonym several years ago, but not anymore. "Amber," "Tiffany," and "Lucille" are similarly frowned upon pseudonyms for hostesses. Second, this article did not teach me anything that I didn't know myself from living in Japan, visiting a couple of these places, and learning the culture. I am curious about specific experiences "Roxy" has had as the one foreigner in a purportedly high class club. This sounds like a goldmine of fun stories, but alas none of them are present here...

Just to back up what everyone else has said. Yes hostesses do have sex with their customers, I dont know why people keep trying to pretend it doesnt happen. I know foreign and Japanese hostesses that work at different levels of club, and they have all had sex with customers. some for money and some because they liked the customers.

When you are stalked and killed by some wack-job that came into the club and got infatuated with you because you paid him a lick of attention, im going to be the one asking: "was it worth the money?" As a matter of fact, there was just recently a story about that kind of thing... evidence that it happens, and since Japan is all about covering up shit like that, Id say it happens more often than we know. Also, Ive known some of these hostesses, and the vast majority of those DID provide sex at some point or another, so your personal experience is no where near the norm.

Really interesting and fun read.

Hostess clubs may be many things but "very highly respected" isn't one of them, no matter how rich the punters are.

If there is a demand, someone will supply it. The money is there to be made. If these women want to do it, theyre going to do it. Of course they sleep with their customers if they like them or for whatever reasons, just as a front desk girl might sleep with a regular guest of her hotel if she likes him, just a a server in a bar might go home with the guy in her section if she likes him...just as the librarian etc. etc. etc.

Hosties sleep with clients. Not all, but most.

Agreed the article is fluf. Nothing here we haven't heard. And nothing here that reflects a lot of the reality of that world. Maybe your high end Ginza type gig is good, but what about all the Kyaba-jo out there who make a lot less and end up in a lot worst situtations.

It is objectification, plain and simple. And if you are a hostess, you are contributing to the continued repression of women in Japan. As long as the rule of Kawai and Hostess rule Japan, women will never be seen as more than second level citizens.

So, I hope this has shed a little more light on the hostessing industry and if you do end up going to a hostess club, make sure you go to the ATM first.

No, it hasnt given anyone any information that they didnt already have. Dont give up your night job Roxy.

Hostessing is just a step above prostitution. The fact these men would pay for getting their ego stroked is something that still strikes me as bizarre, until I think that a lot of wallet-chasers in the States do the same thing when dating celebs or bankers, but less bluntly. And don't get me started on the eikaiwa and private "English teachers"...How much bull-crap do they have to dish out to keep the students interested and paying 4000 yen/hour.

And the whole thing about hostesses not sleeping with their customers...puhleeeeze! If these girls are in it for the money, then there are certainly a few more things they are willing to do to pad their retirements - which should be around 40 given the damage onslaughts of smoke and booze brings on.

My wife used to be a hostess when she was younger. She made tons of cash. Her other options, as only a high school graduate where nearly zilch. Now, the foreign housewifes on this site all probably went to college but how about the strippers in the US. I went to a Dallas strip club at about 11 PM on a Wednesday night and it was packed. This was so depressing. I would rather get a prostitute rather than spending wasted cash in strip clubs. Hostess bars are OK depending on the pay scale. I think there is no difference between these women and strippers who sit next to you begging for a table dance.

The industry is bad for both. Hostesses I have met have has some very consitent problems. 1. Dislike or anger towards men making it hard for them to find or keep healthy personal relationships with non-client men. 2. Unreasonable expectations: expecting an average salaryman boyfriend to treat them like their rich customer do. 3. Mistrust: expecting if their boyfriend is late, he must be at a hostess bar or something similar.

This industry ruins women making them into objects and characters for an artificial setting. It then makes it hard for them to have real and normal lives. And often, when women are no longer young or engaging enough to be a hostess, they have a hard time settling into any other kind of life.

I have met quite a few hostesses and exhostesses since coming to Japan, and not one has been mentally ok after that career.

Second. For the clients it is a sad social symptom of deeper problems in marriage and relationships for Japanese. That men must go out to these places to feel like men or to have someone listen to them is sad. Japan should be addressing this problem with psychological services and family councelling to help protect the fabric of Japanese families. Instead I have met a lot of salarymen who spend too much money and time paying some girl to listen to them instead of trying to sort things with the wife or girlfriend.

You can rationalize this industry all you want. But it is just one more way in which women are objectified and the glass ceiling is reinforced. Women are not year "in charge" of much in Japan. And never will be as long as a slit skirt, big hair and kawaii are held up as examples of womanhood instead of intelligence, compassion and values helpful to building healthy relationships based on equality and mutual respect.

hakujinsensei, anything in excess is not good. Stop being selfish and let others also live a decent life. There is therapy, treatment etc for your problem. Have a heart to heart talk with your hostess friends and you will know how much they hate what they are doing.

Dolphin girl, hostessing is not that much of an easy job. I think it requires tremendous effort to maintain that kind of lifestyle and to live a life of lies.

hostesses are good.

whores are better.

all these posts slamming people seeking to satisfy their basic needs should gets some counseling and get in touch with their basal selves.

being a hostess limits your progression in companies and relationships that are governed by the need to exist in a contrived world and suffering the exclusion of such is by no means a loss. being that everyone knows the rules, those that want to be included are free to choose other professions.

hostesses destroying societal values and undermining the family? what fantasy world are these people living in? my sex drive, as many mens are, is substantially higher than my wife's, so I am to gaman so I can be a better person? more hogwash. those that have higher needs for physical outlets should just be adult n go out n meet those needs then come home and take care of business. its called entertainment for a reason. and the ladies that for whatever various list of reasons for not wanting to meet their male partners physical needs should grow up and learn the difference between a marriage and being a slave holder.

and yes, some guys just need to talk, complain about their bosses/wives/ blow off steam, entertain guests etc. lots of clubs for different occasions. different strokes for different folks. its not only ok, it is a natural and healthy rung in the social order. and for the girls that are not cut out for it? they are free to enjoy the multitude of other employment opportunities out there. I dated a couple of really nice girls that worked as hostesses. of course there are skanks as well, just like any work place.

propagating glass ceilings? dolphingirl, you need to come up for air. nobody is stopping women from starting their own companies and making sure glass ceilings don't exist in their company. the only reason that glass ceilings exist is that the girls have not gotten out there and constructively expressed their equality. if girls want to be equal, they should just knock off their heels n get equal.

girls you go, men need you, whether the women want to admit it or not they need you, society needs you. we as a society to should start being grateful for those willing to travel the road less accepted in order to maintain the social order and mental well being of the simpler half of humanity.

Japan is Japan. It is not the UK, not the USA, not the Phillipines. If the natives here want to pay so much money to be "entertained" well that is their own choice. I do not think it is depressing, maybe a bit sad, that men have to go out of their way to feel happy about themselves, but I am sure that men must seek out ways to improve their egos in every country in the world.

What an utterly depressing article.

Work should be a way of growing as a person. Hostessing is not.

because there are many levels of hostess clubs, with many levels of pay, service and quality. there are seedy places where touching and a little more is allowed, there are high class places where customers spend more than 1 million a evening and their are delicately kicked out if they do anything inappropriate. a friend of mine was doing her PhD at a famous uni in Tokyo, and she was hostessing at a club where she didn't even pour drinks, just talk with the clients. but I also know some girls that do much more than that, in really seedy places.

If anything, the recession may force hostesses and other members of the mizu-shobai industry to be more agressive and cometitive when it comes to aqcquiring AND (wink wink) retaining clients.

In Japan, with 5-10 hostess bars and Kyabakura stacked up in every building, competition is fierce. Girls are pushed to the limit, most of the time so they can keep their jobs. Guys on fancy expense accounts are far and between, so after only a couple of visits anyone can become a high roller and get additional "perks".

The owner or manager usually looks the other way, and some even encourage their girls to have sex with customers, but rarely support them if they get pregnant, beat up, etc.

dolphingirl, I have been here for ages, I hear you, sure society stacks the deck against women in this regard, but it is also women who raise their kids & perpetuate stereotypes for both sexes & society. I am not saying women can change things on their own.......but they still have to show they want it & the numbers that do are small thats why its so tough.

Maybe after this nasty recession Jpn can make some real change........but I just cant imagine it doing so, both men & women are so used to they WAY IT IS. Jpn might have to wait till demographics are such that for it to survive women will be kinda forced to work, I cud see that happening more than trying to change the OLD ways.

Fight the power, good luck, but the fairer sex have to want this, as of today I dont think most women want to climb the ladder. In fact many men I am sure wud like to opt out but they are forced up each step, not much fun for the men either I am afraid!

In Japanese clubs, these women can make from 3,000 to 5,000 yen per hour on average

You get the same amount for teaching english without the Yakuza, stalkers or sexual advances... oh wait... the author probably doesn't have a working visa.

I think it is vicious circle: as longer as women are persuaded there aren’t career opportunities for them, they will try to find “ easy and not bad paid job- alternative”, as longer as they are happy about…

As has been mentioned there are different types of hostess clubs and if I remember back in the day. Some Eikaiwa teachers were hostesses by night. Some preferred hostessing to teaching because of the added bonus of alcohol...

GW: The reason women aren't interested in climbing the corporate ladder is because they can usually only get up a few rungs before they are stuck. How can women be motivated to do something that society won't allow them to do? Many Japanese girls are raised to think that they should get married and be a housewife. With so few options, it's no wonder young women sometimes choose this kind of work to make some decent cash.

The #1 hostessing rule is pamper and fawn over your customer and tell him he's handsome and has a nice body even if he's ugly as sin and fat as a pig.

"make sure you go to the ATM first"

Heck, they take credit cards.

The woman's job is to serve and please the man while the man gets to feel superior. Definitely a bad thing.

what are you talking about! Oops gotta run.....

Women need to be seen as equals in Japan, so they can break the glass ceiling in companies and be competitive colleagues.

I agree but first J-women need to want this, in my experience most have no interest, they want to get married so they dont have to do exactly what yr talking about.

In addition, it's all so superficial that neither party is getting any deep satifaction from this kind of interaction. False flattery and bull-s**t is only fun for so long.

I dont think either are looking for satisfaction, & for some Japanese they seem to be able to do this for decades with only $$ slowing them down

It's a pity that, at the end of the day, some men would rather engage in fake conversations than spend time with friends or family.

You also have to keep in mind a LOT of wives in Jpn the last thing they want is their man coming home early every day or even most, some days, they just get in the way haha

This article doesn't even get into any of the "REAL" life of hostesses in Japan. The alcohol abuse, the beatings, the pimping. Yes, there are several levels of hostessing, from exclusive to skanky, and this industry is the front door to prostitution and drugs.

Although i never had to pay for it directly, dating hostess chicks did cost dearly in gifts and fancy dinners. I did get more than my share of action from these places, and lost count of how many i "dated", nothwithstanding, there's tons of better places to meet pretty girls in Japan.

I guess I can kind of understand the allure of hostess clubs. The women can earn good money for relatively easy work and men can sit back, relax and escape reality for a while. Unfortunately though, hostess clubs just reinforce stereotypcial roles of men and women. The woman's job is to serve and please the man while the man gets to feel superior. Definitely a bad thing. Women need to be seen as equals in Japan, so they can break the glass ceiling in companies and be competitive colleagues.

In addition, it's all so superficial that neither party is getting any deep satifaction from this kind of interaction. False flattery and bull-s**t is only fun for so long. Most people already have fewer and fewer meaningful face-to-face connections during our day. It's a pity that, at the end of the day, some men would rather engage in fake conversations than spend time with friends or family.

my2sense wrote: Ridiculous but slightly entertaining. I dated and chatted these trashy things for fun in my mid twenties and they indeed live on the edge

Dude, but you do sound "trashy" by looking down on these women, now that you are married with a son..damn Your comment is plain shameless..you shouldn't judge people you don't even know... There are rotten tomatoes everywhere, and I tell you that as someone who worked in a Hospital. Like every job, some people do good, some people don't. But you sure felt good puking at them. Have some decency, ok?

because there are many levels of hostess clubs, with many levels of pay, service and quality. there are seedy places where touching and a little more is allowed, there are high class places where customers spend more than 1 million a evening and their are delicately kicked out if they do anything inappropriate. a friend of mine was doing her PhD at a famous uni in Tokyo, and she was hostessing at a club where she didn't even pour drinks, just talk with the clients. but I also know some girls that do much more than that, in really seedy places.

First of all, hostesses do not sleep with their customers.

Yeah, right! And the purpose of the many love hotels in and around hostess club areas are for ...

Dozens of girls have made stories of their hostessing days into novels and this article manages to what I thought was impossible: make hostessing sound boring.

Jeez, none of the oldtimers gaijin are going to believe the nonsense she wrote here anyway....

First of all, hostesses do not sleep with their customers. Um, I bet to differ, speaking from considerable experience.

Hahaha! Why are there always people trying to tell me this.

I've slept with 3. Can I say that here? It's on-topic.

I used to never understand these places...pay $$$ to talk but I have come to the conclusion they are like therapists...men can tell these girls anything...unlike their wifes...it is like a no risk relationship...

Been in Japan for over 4 years. Never been to a hostess bar, never been to a club, never been to Roppongi... but I'm having a great time!

Ridiculous but slightly entertaining. I dated and chatted these trashy things for fun in my mid twenties and they indeed live on the edge. Cocaine, meth, ecstasy, booze, 20,000 in daily taxi fare payers, 7 or 15 sugardaddies...and the Russian, Colombian, Aussie, American, Romanian, British, Brazilian, Japanese etc. girls...it was the best street and culture education and true underworld Japan 101 I ever got. (now married to a perfect Japanese keep me in check woman with a son) Anyway this post war biz is considered the lowest of professions here (hell we started it in 45) and mix the inferior my wife wont shag me or the OL wont respect me fellas is a match in heaven for both. This is all over Asia and this exists in all cultures. Its the strippers in the US...(they are worse with drugs or end up dead with wrong guy) (Ryan Jenkins case or that poor Blackman girl here) I think 1 outta 5000 with the above gal is so rare it got to JT. These ladies are scouted by Yaks abroad and the big racks end up on the pole in Roppongi and the lesser who need the cash end up in the hostess joints. I love the Japanese ones on the train platform at 6AM with suitcase in tow with pimp J BF asking what she made. May she live to see 25 and take home her earnings and hopefully not end up on craigslist but in school. Thanks for the 2 cents and keep lighting cigs and BSing the lonely, it works and we all do what we gotta do. Wonder what Tony Soprano's shrink would say...oh wait thats a TV show...

Ridiculous but slightly entertaining. I dated and chatted these trashy things for fun in my mid twenties and they indeed live on the edge. Cocaine, meth, ecstasy, booze, 20,000 in daily taxi fare payers, 7 or 15 sugardaddies...and the Russian, Colombian, Aussie, American, Romanian, British, Brazilian, Japanese etc. girls...it was the best street and culture education and true underworld Japan 101 I ever got. (now married to a perfect Japanese keep me in check woman with a son) Anyway this post war biz is considered the lowest of professions here (hell we started it in 45) and mix the inferior my wife wont shag me or the OL wont respect me fellas is a match in heaven for both. This is all over Asia and this exists in all cultures. Its the strippers in the US...(they are worse with drugs or end up dead with wrong guy) (Ryan Jenkins case or that poor Blackman girl here) I think 1 outta 5000 with the above gal is so rare it got to JT. These ladies are scouted by Yaks abroad and the big racks end up on the pole in Roppongi and the lesser who need the cash end up in the hostess joints. I love the Japanese ones on the train platform at 6AM with suitcase in tow with pimp J BF asking what she made. May she live to see 25 and take home her earnings and hopefully not end up on craigslist but in school. Thanks for the 2 cents and keep lighting cigs and BSing the lonely, it works and we all do what we gotta do. Wonder what Tony Soprano's shrink would say...oh wait thats a TV show...

Interesting article. I've been to a few hostess bars for after parties with workmates, and it's definitely an experience. You can have a good time there and a decent chat, but for me 20 000 Yen for a few glasses of beer and a bowl of mixed nuts definitely wasn't worth the price of superficial chitchat! My mates were really into it and even "got" the hostess' phone number. She conveniently didn't have her phone on her and promised to call them back later. Suprise suprise, her number was fake along with probably her life's story which she'd told them throughout the night to keep them drinking. Also, they were blown over by the fact that she was drinking with them, but a quick taste of the vodka mix she'd poured herself when she had to head to the bar for an ashtray confirmed what I thought...No trace of booze.

First of all, hostesses do not sleep with their customers.

Um, I beg to differ, speaking from considerable experience.

Another shallow hostess article with absolutely nothing new or interesting to say on the subject, obviously written by someone who's never worked a day inside a club. Heck, I could have written a more interesting piece and I'm not even a woman. JT clearly has been fooled by this impostor.

Interesting article. I've been to a few hostess bars for after parties with workmates, and it's definitely an experience. You can have a good time there and a decent chat, but for me 20 000 Yen for a few glasses of beer and a bowl of mixed nuts definitely wasn't worth the price of superficial chitchat! My mates were really into it and even "got" the hostess' phone number. She conveniently didn't have her phone on her and promised to call them back later. Suprise suprise, her number was fake along with probably her life's story which she'd told them throughout the night to keep them drinking. Also, they were blown over by the fact that she was drinking with them, but a quick taste of the vodka mix she'd poured herself when she had to head to the bar for an ashtray confirmed what I thought...No trace of booze.

Wow I learned a lot by reading this NOT hahaha.

Roxy if you want respect you need a new line of work. I hear of tons of these places going under & good riddance, I have had my butt dragged to these a few times absolutely mind numbingly boring. I now absolutely refuse to go I just dont care who I offend in the process if I cannot bow out with a plausable lame excuse.

Good luck their roxy, if yr liver survives I hope you come out with a few brain cells left so you can function

I'll admit, I frequent the hostess bars, and have done for years. I'm a regular at three. I was at one last night.

I know about a dozen former hostesses. None of them are alcoholics, none of them are on medication, and all are happily married. Go figure.

A hostess, when all is said and done, is a super-waitress. That's it. She mixes your drinks, lights your smoke, and keeps the conversation going. A good one will be able to gauge the mood of the party and direct the energy level to where you want it to be. She's there to make sure you have a good time. Not all of them drink, either. I know several who stick to oolong with a token drop of shochu. Or water.

There's a lot of western moralizing that comes with the hostess bar thing, mostly from people who don't know what's actually going on inside the clubs. As far as alcohol abuse, the toll of late nights, and relationships with the customers in the off hours go, it's no different than the average bar waitress in Canada or the USA. Some are alcoholics. Some sleep with the customers. Some aren't, and some don't. Some wear revealing clothes and flirt a lot to encourage tips and return customers, some don't. Some stay with it and go on to open their own place, some quit when they've made their money and move on to other things. Like everything else in Japan, it's exactly the same but completely different.

I just don't get hostess clubs / the whole mizu shoubai thing, but I guess it's only Japanese guys who can have the necessary "suspension of reality". I was taken to a few clubs years ago, and I just couldn't get over how false it was.

The Japanese guys I was with were really excited that these women were actually talking to them, and it was as if they really believed that these girls were interested in them : I just found it all fake, kind of creepy, and a bit sad. Why would you need to pay someone to praise you ?

I can't imagine how women can put up with this, unless they're kind of dumb, a bit un-hinged anyway, or are very good at acting - doing this long term must mess you up. There's also the problem that you might be called at any time because one of your customers has turned up, so it gets pretty impossible to have your own social life.

hostesses do not sleep with their customers

Yeah, right. A friend of mine used to work at a club, and she called the girls "the hostitutes". I think this girl is pretty new to the business.

Also, the mention of the glass ceiling (not exactly invisible in Japanese companies) and minimum wages for women, implying that hostessing is some kind of pro-active feminist choice ; this hardly works as a moral argument if you're doing a job that reinforces outdated stereotypes, love.

So the only options available to women are minimum-wage jobs or mizu-shoubai ?

This girl does mention being a foreigner, but she doesn't sound like a native English speaker to me...

where they are surrounded by pretty woman

woman everywhere are getting stronger

a glass ceiling still exists for woman in the workplace

Sounds like a Japanese chick to me, especially the reasoning.

it’s true and this fact of Japanese culture is not coming an end anytime soon.

who said so? Well, if the industry is not doing that bad, where would Roxy and the others who are from the industry have the time to enlighten people about their profession.

Roxy, bulshitting the guys is not going to work anymore. I think it is time you think of a job where you can be sure of some real cash? God bless the combini owners and the job opportunities they offer.

First of all, hostesses do not sleep with their customers.

Um, I bet to differ, speaking from considerable experience.

Even the most intelligent and serious of hostesses have to bullshit

This is the only real weapon that a woman has against a mans strength. Woman are masters at bullshitting.

Yes, they don't sell their body but their sanity and their health as cadmium said. Working in a soapland seems to be a much better option.

These hostesses drink almost everyday which is terrible for their health. High pay but also high risk.

Many people wonder why women do this job. Well, the truth is that some really like it, especially those who like to talk and drink alcohol.

I know 4 former hostesses here in Japan. All 4 are on medication for mental illnesses. All are alcoholics. One tried to take her life.