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What is rape? Despite #MeToo, few really know

9 Comments
By Lin Taylor

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If the woman feels any regret the next morning, it's rape. She was pressured into it.

Uh... no. There is a significant difference between feeling pressures and being raped. Trying to eliminate that only hurts real rape victims by minimizing the crime. We are talking about adults here, not children.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

If the woman feels any regret the next morning, it's rape. She was pressured into it.

That's the kind of things guys who are worried about being #metoo-ed would say. It doesn't really match with the real world.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

It is the nature of the crime itself that makes it hard to prove. The common scenario is two individuals in private with no witnesses and no physical evidence of injury.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

If the guy feels any regret the next morning, what it is?

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

"A woman cannot change her mind once sex has started."

Uh, yes she can.

"If she flirts on a date, she cannot cry rape later - even if she hasn't consented to sex."

Uh, yes she can, if she didn't consent to it.

"And pushing a woman into intercourse but stopping short of physical violence does not equal rape."

Physically pushing the woman into intercourse is rape.

"If the guy feels any regret the next morning, what it is?"

If he raped her, it's having a conscience. If he didn't rape her, it could be any number of things.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

According to a study it published on Thursday, one in three people polled said if a woman was pressured into sex but no physical violence was involved, it would not equal rape.

A third of the men surveyed said a woman could not change her mind once sex has started, and a third of men also believed that if a woman flirted on a date, any sex thereafter would not be counted as rape even if she had not consented, it found.

2 & 3 are no brainers; she/he can change her mind at any time & flirting doesnt necessarily mean 'am up for it'.

The main issue with n1 is that 'mild forms' of sexual coercion have been (still are?) ok'ed by society. A "drinks at mine?" at 2am is imo perfectly fine, 'you sure? it'll be fun' after an initial 'no' is probably still ok but anything after and you're entering dangerous territory. Reckon it's the type of discussions mums/dads should have with their sons (& daughters).

0 ( +0 / -0 )

If the woman feels any regret the next morning, it's rape. She was pressured into it.

Where does it say this in the article?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

If she flirts on a date, she cannot cry rape later - even if she hasn't consented to sex.

And pushing a woman into intercourse but stopping short of physical violence does not equal rape.

This wasn't the actual wording of the questions asked. These were the question:

If they’ve flirted on a date but not been up for sex and it happened anyway

If they don’t really want to have sex but feel pressured to even though there was no other physical violence

One problem is that the questions don't indicate specifically whether the woman said "no". I think that leaves them somewhat vague and open to interpretation. You can find the details here:

https://www.endviolenceagainstwomen.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Data-tables-for-Attitudes-to-Sexual-Consent-research-report.pdf

0 ( +0 / -0 )

The loss to humanity of people who are borderline up for sex refraining from having sex is far smaller than the gain from actual crimes against women starting to be taken seriously. Any man who is with a date who needs more "convincing" or is too drunk can always just wait till the next date. Society may end up with less sex, but a higher proportion of it will be properly consensual.

I say this as someone who had drunken one-night stands which may not be acceptable any more.

And no, wolf whistles in the street are not a "hate crime". Wannabe metoos should be shamed for trivializing the actual sexual crimes that other women suffer.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

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