Here
and
Now

opinions

Why do women still get judged so harshly for having casual sex?

34 Comments
By Jaimie Arona Krems and Michael Varnum

The requested article has expired, and is no longer available. Any related articles, and user comments are shown below.

© The Conversation

©2021 GPlusMedia Inc.

34 Comments
Login to comment

 but ultimately misguided – advice directed toward girls and women about their sexual behavior.

Apparently, telling girls not to sleep with random guys they meet at the bar is "misguided" advice.

Girls... be choosey and don't give yourself to any random passerby.

Men and boys will respect you more and want you more if they feel you're a prize to be earned and won.

-14 ( +6 / -20 )

From what a remember of an old class the reproductive roots are to blame for this, the minimum a man has to invest to become a "father" is a few minutes (or seconds if he has premature problems) but a woman need to invest at least 10 months of her life to become a mother. This quite evident fact is what makes cultures intintively treat sexuality different a man that has sex around only is losing those few minutes, but a woman that does the same risk losing months to get a child, so it should be very picky about it.

Obviously this has no real importance by now, but cultures don't change so easily, maybe with the popularization of in-vitro babies people will realize there is no meaning in discriminating anymore.

8 ( +10 / -2 )

fortuita sexus, are we not all judged on or perceived sexual behavior?

The flirty playful, elicit ohh ahh?

There is little elegance in sex.

That libidinous, lascivious need to satisfy an inscribable urge.

-5 ( +0 / -5 )

There is little elegance in sex.

And your point is...?

6 ( +6 / -0 )

Or perhaps you are doing it wrong.

10 ( +10 / -0 )

aaaaaand bingo, the stupid answer is in the first post. Some blokes are just too precious, you are their prize girls and you shouldn't be soiled by anyone else while you wait to be plucked off the shelf.

5 ( +8 / -3 )

SimondB,

Clarity the deference of sex/love is sharp wit

SimondB, often there is confusion to the world of intimacy, warmth, affinity that reaches beyond rumpy pumpy, doing it right. your words

That a hop skip and jump, how's yours father?

-6 ( +2 / -8 )

In general, men don’t like such a behavior as it is disgusting, but of course it’s interesting and subject of talks as it is a bit outstanding from the standard case. No, for many thousands of years we men want a good and hopefully short time’s hunt and then a very clean catch, not what others already have hunted and caught a dozens of times. I spare the women’s part. I can’t speak for them. But maybe they also want to be seen attractive and worth hunting for a while instead of simple doing what’s standing in the way.

-12 ( +4 / -16 )

If a swipe right is all it takes for you to give yourself to a man... a swipe is all you'll ever get from him.

-11 ( +4 / -15 )

@william round hit the nail on the head.

Also, in the traditional view, women who are casual about sex have often been prostitutes. That’s where he term “whore” comes from. I’m surprised the article doesn’t mention this.

Furthermore, the sexes will never be equal. Women have reproductive rights and responsibilities that men don’t due to …biology. Even today, if a woman is perceived to be treating these things with frivolity, there’s inevitably going to be a negative reaction by some. Whether this is right or wrong, who is to judge? Until men can get pregnant from a one-night-stand, we will never truly know.

-4 ( +2 / -6 )

@William Round

From what a remember of an old class the reproductive roots are to blame for this, the minimum a man has to invest to become a "father" is a few minutes (or seconds if he has premature problems) but a woman need to invest at least 10 months of her life to become a mother. This quite evident fact is what makes cultures intintively treat sexuality different a man that has sex around only is losing those few minutes, but a woman that does the same risk losing months to get a child, so it should be very picky about it.

Well said.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

It's not as if men are less likely to have STDs.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

It's not as if men are less likely to have STDs.

The stigma comes from creating new life.

Women can get pregnant, and load society with the burden of a fatherless child.

Men are biologically incapable of getting pregnant.

Since women are the gatekeepers of sex, society puts the onus on them to ... gatekeep.

-4 ( +4 / -8 )

There's nothing wrong with casual sex, unless you're married, which would make it morally wrong, but only in some societies.

And there sure are some bad spellers here!

5 ( +6 / -1 )

The usual shallow moralising from far too many people. If I hadn’t known that most of this “research” was conducted among small groups of mid-west American undergraduates or paid participants (it was) I might have thought the study group consisted entirely of those JT readers with a bee in their bonnet about such things.

4 ( +5 / -1 )

I used to be very romantic. It leads to an empty wallet and blue balls. But go for it. I am out of the game anyways. Women have the right to enjoy their sex lives without regret or embarrassment.

7 ( +7 / -0 )

Girls, women are human beings. well sort of, some are questionable.

But having said that deserve respect. You know this.

Of course and that goes without saying, but there is a problem in Japan and as I was stating earlier, no one wants to talk about the honest dirty truth about a lot of what are serious contributing factors that make up this problem and if people don't want to talk about the serious details pro and con lay down the truth then conservation is not needed, just be oblivious about it and society should continue to walk with their heads in the sand and continue guessing and maybe they might get the answers that make them feel better.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

I think the author of the study is forgetting to mention religious influences as well. There is a lot of Christian ideas influence in the "purity" women, which stem from the Mother Mary. There may not be an explicit or conscious connection for most people between this nowadays, but the subconscious feeling remains that for a woman to be "pure" and "good" then she cannot have casual sex. And if she does, then there must be something wrong with her. 500 years ago people would probably be comfortable blaming the devil or calling her a witch, but now that everything has changed a lot, they blame it on something else wrong with her-her self-esteem.

I imagine if they did this same study with a majority of atheists and scientists, they might get very different responses. I'd like to read the study, too bad there is no link to it.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

men don’t like such a behavior as it is disgusting,

You say this as if it's self-evident. What exactly makes it disgusting?

2 ( +5 / -3 )

If a swipe right is all it takes for you to give yourself to a man... a swipe is all you'll ever get from him.

I know a few people who have met their spouses on dating apps. Your comment sounds like someone who has only ever read bout them and dating online would make. Although I suppose it could be that you're from a country with extremely different values to the rest of us when it comes to sex.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

people perceived to have low self-esteem are less likely to be asked out on dates 

Then who are these women having casual sex?

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Burning BushJune 1 07:06 am JST

 but ultimately misguided – advice directed toward girls and women about their sexual behavior.

Apparently, telling girls not to sleep with random guys they meet at the bar is "misguided" advice.

That isn't what the article actually said. You are setting up a strawman to knock down. The point being made here is that women get critisized for having casual sex, while men can have as much casual sex as they want without judgment. This is a sexist double standard.

Girls... be choosey and don't give yourself to any random passerby.

First, we are women, not girls. A girl is a child. Women are adults and can make their own decisions, and those decisions are none of your business. If you would not speak this way to a man, then don't speak this way to a woman.

Men and boys will respect you more and want you more if they feel you're a prize to be earned and won.

Women are not "prizes to be earned and won". Woman are autonomous adults. You talk about women as if they are objects, that is both sexist and dehumanizing.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

Burning BushJune 1 06:47 pm JST

It's not as if men are less likely to have STDs.

The stigma comes from creating new life.

Women can get pregnant, and load society with the burden of a fatherless child.

Men are biologically incapable of getting pregnant.

Since women are the gatekeepers of sex, society puts the onus on them to ... gatekeep.

Women are not incubators, nor are they the "gatekeepers of sex."

These views on women are both sexist and misogynistic.

1 ( +5 / -4 )

Even if a woman IS having sex to booster her self-esteem, it's none of your business and she is still deserving of the same respect as any human being.

And any man who says otherwise is a misogynist.

3 ( +6 / -3 )

Even if a woman IS having sex to booster her self-esteem,

Absolutely applies to men as well.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Doesn't everyone have sex to boost their self esteem occasionally, even monogamous septuagenarians with their childhood sweethearts (perhaps after an episode that has caused them self-doubt)?

This may offend some readers, but I'm immensely grateful to the women who have been able to teach me about what works for them, and to their previous partners who aided that discovery.

As Isaac Newton never said: "If I have been further it is by erupting on the shoulders of giants."

4 ( +4 / -0 )

As Isaac Newton never said: "If I have been further it is by erupting on the shoulders of giants."

Better yet, this one by Woody Allen, " Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Better yet, this one by Woody Allen, " Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

I'll do you one better, from a source unknown to me:

Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

If it smells like fish, make it a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone. Words to live by from the old man.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

If it smells like fish, make it a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone. Words to live by from the old man.

Reckless

Don't drive or ride a bicycle, the lift doesn't reach the top floor.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Maybe there is a rational reason why women judge other women like this?

Yeah, it's called patriarchy.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Express sisterJune 2 06:11 pm JST

Better yet, this one by Woody Allen, " Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.”

I'll do you one better, from a source unknown to me:

Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's good.

Very good way of describing it. I never had a bad pizza, but some are just not as good as others.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

There are obvious reasons why they are judged harshly. Anyone out there want their daughters, their girlfriends, or their wives to have casual sex?

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Men and women are treated differently in many other topics as well, it may be justified, it may not, but it is not going to change in the near future, I get it that change has to begin at some point, but there is no meaning on getting desperate right now trying to change in a couple of decades things that are thousands of years into the collective mind.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Login to leave a comment

Facebook users

Use your Facebook account to login or register with JapanToday. By doing so, you will also receive an email inviting you to receive our news alerts.

Facebook Connect

Login with your JapanToday account

User registration

Articles, Offers & Useful Resources

A mix of what's trending on our other sites