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Do you think marriage will continue to be a core social institution in the future?

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I hope so. The girls panicking in their late 20s are my only hope.

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Not in my future! Misogyny rules!

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ANSWER: Yes, in countries with people who have traditional values, strong morals and an understanding of right and wrong.

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Actually, with divorce rates skyrocketing in most countries, I wonder if marriage will even be an institution in 50 years. As a happily single man, I can't understand the appeal of being tied to one person for life. I meet attractive women every week. I just can't see any advantage to married lifestyle. But then I suppose everyone who ever got married said the same thing when they were single.

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Marriage is a farce and should not be taken lightly, becareful before getting sucked in!

Believe me i have done it twice!!

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Smartacus,

I just can't see any advantage to married lifestyle. But then I suppose everyone who ever got married said the same thing when they were single.

I was a terminal bachelor. Then I met the one. Then all bets were off.

Don't rule it out, it could happen to you too. And if it does, it won't be so bad.

Taka

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The core root of the problem, as one mentioned, are the lack of morals, ethics, and integrity. Take them out of the equation and marriage goes down with it, along with everything else in your life.

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Yes, in countries with people who have traditional values, strong morals and an understanding of right and wrong.

I'm sorry, could you name me one of those? And could you please supply the corresponding divorce rate. Thanks.

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Ah the life of a bachelor. Both has its ups and downs tbh. But yeah like Taka313 said, it happens suddenly. I said id never marry anyone, and look at me now.

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I'm with Taka, too. He's a master of understatement when he says 'it won't be so bad'.

Marriage to the right person isn't just 'not so bad', it's bleedin' mind-bogglingly wonderful!

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I'm sorry, could you name me one of those? And could you please supply the corresponding divorce rate. Thanks.

Even if a country has a high divorce rate it doesn't mean the MAJORITY of people do not want to preserve the institution of marriage.

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Marriage is not about love only. Family values will always remain important.

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Japan had barely any divorces when marriages were arranged because the anticipation of love was not the priority. Now if the love factor changes, which it is normal, the couple often splits up. At the end of the day, marriage is a lifetime business partnership not a romantic date.

For love marriages, I think France has the right approach; marriage is a legal document provided by the gov't. There is little point in signing it if the love bond truly exists between the two. In fact, the legally binding contract may put pressure on the couple leading to divorce.

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There was an interesting article about this in Time last week. It's probably on time.com somewhere.

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Smartacs-

I just can't see any advantage to married lifestyle

well, actually, there are lots of disadvantages and less freedom when you are married, especially when you have kids, you will have even less time purely for yourself. HOWEVER, I still love being married and being a mother to my children.

Might sound funny to you, but the happiness of the disadvantages is what's keeping me in where I am.

marriage isn't what it says on a piece of paper, it's inside of people..

I'd rather spend time with my special family at home doing not much than going out every weekend to meet attractive people ... in fact, my family is more attractive than any of those attractive people i might meet outside :)

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I think it's a waste of time trying to persuade the decidedly single about the joys of marriage. Unless they have that special person in their life, it doesn't make sense; and once that special person is there, they don't need persuading any more.

I also think the decidedly single, once they do succumb, tend to do a much better job of marriage than those who start out starry-eyed and eager to march down the aisle just as soon as they've found someone willing to march with them; they've had a good hard look at the pitfalls/problems/disadvantages, and decided they can/will cope with them. The starry-eyed often don't see them until it's too late.

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Societies that don't respect the sanctity of marriage are going to hell in a handcart fast. Just look at Western Europe, especially the UK.

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In the case of Japan, subtract from the equation conservative brainwashing from childhood and a socio-economic system that keeps women stupid, dependent, and underemployed, and marriage rates would go down further (though the institution wouldn't entirely disappear). I won't hold my breath though.

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Societies that don't respect the sanctity of marriage are going to hell in a handcart fast. Just look at Western Europe, especially the UK.

and

The core root of the problem, as one mentioned, are the lack of morals, ethics, and integrity.

and

Family values will always remain important.

Anybody know the divorce rate in Iraq, Afghanistan, or Yemen? I suspect its pretty low since women (especially married women) have nearly zero rights.

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I agree with Poke.

For me, Hell is other people. I'm so glad I at least live in a time when, despite married people desperately trying to sell us marriage and suck us into their own pits of misery, young women can eschew the whole marriage/babies thing to lead fulfilling, independent lives. Of course, men always had that option.

And I think as more women are given that choice and realize that it is a valid choice (it'll take fewer friends, parents, relatives, and strangers constantly nagging, "When are you going to get married?" or "When are you going to have kids?"), you will see marriage rates decline.

Kind of OT, but I've been so lucky in my life to have parents who fully support me and think I'm fine just the way I am, without a husband and without kids. I can't imagine how miserable it must be for women in my situation who aren't interested in married life or babies to constantly have to hear how they haven't achieved any worthwhile goals because they don't have a man or don't have kids. I would bet you anything that there are a lot of people, especially women, still getting married and having kids for all the wrong reasons. I hope that will decline in the future ...

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I know american_bengoshi is not talking about the US, divorce is the "in" thing here. Last i heard we were at 50% divorce rate but like i said i heard it and have no hard numbers nor do i care to find them. Though a large percentage of my friends are divorced and happier for it so i could believe we are at 50% or higher. Marriage is over rated, i like my freedom to do as i please and having the wife nag me anymore. People change over time and one will get tired of each other, i know firsthand. looking back i could say i lost 8 yrs of my life but oh well, live and learn. I learned its best to just have the booty call around instead of a spouse but thats me.

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Our fear of lonliness is stronger than our fear of bondage, hence our desire to get married and thus ruin our lives! I personally believe marriage to be outdated! If I get out of my second marriage, I`ll never marry again! MARRIAGE SUCKS!

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Patrick Smash-

I am yet to meet a happily married man. I am yet to meet a happily married Japanese girl too. That says it all really. Marriage is the accepted social prerequisite for kids.

meet me and my husband :) then you've met a happily married man and a j-girl :)

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WhitneyRocks-

If I get out of my second marriage, I`ll never marry again! MARRIAGE SUCKS!

Marriage with a wrong partner really sucks I'm sure.. but marriage with the right partner is wonderful I think.

At the same time, marriage is a constant work that never ends, and unless you're willing to enjoy the work and put yourself into the work, it won't work.. unless both wife and husband are willing to work for THEMselves..

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I can't help but notice that the VAST majority of naysayers on this thread are men. Noticeably men who have been burned someway by the dating game or by a previous marriage. Don't be so bitter guys. I'm on marriage #2 myself but couldn't be happier. I have a real partner. Oh, and if you are still looking for a happily married man, have a chat with my husband! He keeps telling me over and over again (usually when he comes home from a nomikai with other married J-men) how lucky he is to be married to me! That's a confidence booster. I would surmise that yes, it comes down to marrying the RIGHT person. None of the 'freedom' I had in my single life can even BEGIN to compare with the joys my daughter brings to me every day. Marriage isn't for everyone and it shouldn't be. It should be for people who want it, and will really give it a good go.

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Marriage will continue because men are still dumb. But a lot of the younger ones are getting wiser and realizing that they can get all the sex they want without handing over their life to someone. If they want kids it's a problem. The happiest married couples I know in Japan is where the wife is a housewife, her husband has plenty of money, and she is free to do whatever she wants, and doesn't see him much. I should say "happiest wives".

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I am yet to meet a happily married man. I am yet to meet a happily married Japanese girl too.

Can't claim to be a J-girl, but I can put Mr cleo up there with Mr fishy and Mr Canukle.

It should be for people who want it

Yes, and no. I think people who are in love with the idea of marriage itself are the ones more likely to come a cropper when it turns out that the bed of roses has thorns in it. The people who aren't eager to marry for marrying's sake, who have to overcome a whole list of reasons not to marry before they finally succumb, are more likely to be aware of the thorns, able to avoid them or even enjoy the occasional bloodletting (metaphorically speaking!)

Mr cleo and I were both decided singles until we met each other.

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Interesting. One guy says that he hasn't met a happy couple. Then a woman says that her husband is really happy, and then talks about thorns and occasional metaphorical blood-letting. Maybe some husbands aren't as happy as their wives think they are and don't enjoy the bloodletting as much?

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yasukuni-

One guy says that he hasn't met a happy couple. Then a woman says that her husband is really happy, and then talks about thorns and occasional metaphorical blood-letting

which woman are you talking about? me? guess not.

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And personally, I don’t believe in a marriage that only wife OR husband is happy.. WE have to be happy to make the marriage work, not just He or SHE. A happy couple makes a happy marriage. A happy wife and unhappy husband doesn't make a happy marriage and vice versa.

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Sorry, I was referring to Cleo's post. But it wasn't meant to be offensive. So I better apologize in advance. I was just sayin...

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which woman are you talking about?

Me. And I stand by what I said. You get a choice, take the thorns within marriage, or the thorns that come with the single life. (And if you think there aren't any, you're living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.) If you don't understand that overcoming obstacles together is easier and more enjoyable than trying to battle them alone, then you're obviously not ready for marriage/haven't found the right person for you yet. It's no sweat.

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Don't worry, yasukuni, no offence was taken. :-)

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yasukuni-

Sorry, I was referring to Cleo's post. But it wasn't meant to be offensive. So I better apologize in advance. I was just sayin

we should be free to express our opinions so i dont think you need to be sorry.. i was just curious because a woman who posted a comment right after whitneyrocks' unhappy comment.

and i know (from what i have been reading on JT) cleo is a woman with mature personality and has her own opinions while listening to others' opinions. she wouldn't be easily offended, right, cleo ? :))

and while i agree to a certain degree that some husband might not be as happy as their wives think they are... and i guess that's when communication becomes so important.

we can't just assume our spouse is happy, we have to keep communicating so that you KNOW your spouse is happy as much as you are.. and you need to let your spouse know when you are not happy because then you can work together to make things better..

as i said in my earlier post, a happy COUPLE makes a happy marriage.

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Fishy, "WE have to be happy to make the marriage work, not just He or SHE"

Absolutely. In fact, that's about it. Sadly, some people don't even think about it.

Cleo, you are of course right. Bloodletting can be done in different ways - and I prefer the less painful methods.

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So many people are responding to this question in a highly personalized way rather than address the core intent of the question. Personal bitterness or opinion has little to do with whether or not marriage will remain an important social institution. Some form of bonding (whether merely a ritual or a legal one) has been a part of humanity for most of its history because official bonding serves to provide stability within a culture. Without that stability, people feel more reserved about making a variety of other commitments which are generally seen as beneficial to society on the whole. This includes having children, buying homes (or other large purchases for which the possibility of a double-income or a secondary person who can earn an income should the main breadwinner become incapacitated), and spending money on higher quality of life pursuits. From a personal viewpoint, being single is fine, but you do have less disposable income and more uncertainty because you can only rely on yourself (or your extended family). Even setting aside social censure of single parents (which may be unfair, but still exists), the burden of raising a child alone is quite great and being bonded to a significant other generally improves the quality of life for everyone.

Based on the fact that social stability benefits cultures, it would be surprising if some sort of formal bonding were to disappear or become irrelevant in the future, either distant or near.

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Because plenty of happy couples are living together and raising children together without getting married, I do think the (at least formal) institution of marriage is outdated. I think a lot of people are seeing this in the black-and-white view: you are either single or you are married. Who needs a certificate to tell them they are officially a family? There are certain financial benefits that come from being married, and of course, disadvantages as well, but whether or not you and your s.o. are married has little to do with the stability of a home and/or family.

So yeah, I think marriage will become outdated eventually.

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Orchid, I see your point. I think that marriage will never go out of style. I think it's what most people wanting - at SOME point in their lives. It's just that it's one of the hardest things in life to do successfully, but for which there isn't a lot of prior training/preparation. Funnily enough I have met couples who just get married, don't fight and just live happily ever after.

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I think the idea of marriage will always be around even though it will lose it's religious meaning even more in the future. Perhaps it will become more like common-law marriages in Canada... if you live together for a certain period of time you can get benifits from your partner, such as health insurance. And a lot of people enjoy the idea of celebrating love with a big party so weddings might take a while to fade out of style.

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They say single men havea shorter life span than married men but married men are more willing to die early compared to single men. I guess that partly explains it.

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I think marriage, in some form or another, will continue to exist into the future. It will likely become less popular in countries where women are seen as equal to men and therefore can support children on their own. However, there will always be people who want to bond together to have kids or bond together simply because they prefer having companionship to being alone.

I do hope that marriage changes, though. Especially since people are living longer, the clause 'til death do us part' is now a very long time and, as high divorce rates will attest to, is not very realistic. How about 10 or 20 year contracts that you can renew?!

On a personal note, I agree with cleo. I am one of those people that never really thought I was going to get married but then one day, of out the blue, I met an awesome guy and got hitched! As cleo pointed out, if you are not desperately seeking a marriage partner before you turn 30, you are probably going to be more clear-headed and find someone more compatible too.

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Yes, I'd hope so, being traditionalist.

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