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How important to a healthy relationship are overt displays of affection such as hugging, kissing and holding hands?


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I see no problem with hand holding. However, swapping spit in the train station because your significant other is going off to work or twisting tongues in a bar with your new boy/girl friend I find a bit over the top. Hugging? What's wrong with hugging? Everyone needs a hug.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

It largely depends on the culture and how it is perceived by society. However, I am British and showing affection as described above is beautiful... I remember this would cause issues with my ex J-wife, because she was always very uncomfortable showing any affection in public...

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Everyone should be free to pursue happiness of his own making as long as he doesn't (knowingly) disturb the freedom of others. Hugging is fine and natural. Holding hands as well. Kissing is fine too. Extensive kisses can start to get rude. Touching buttocks intensively is already rude. Common sense is sufficient to know how to separate the cute and the rude.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

As important as it is to the people in the relationship.

Me, Im British too like tokyoKawasaki, and cant get or give enough! But my best friend, (not British but I dont think that necessarily means anything), can absolutely live without it - we had this very discussion about our husbands about 1 hour ago. I love that he "Goes Koala" on me every night. She says it would drive her crazy.

We dont go beyond holding hands, a hug or a quick "peck" kiss hello and goodbye in public though, but this has nothing to do with not wanting it, just everything to do with respect for the people around us - Im sure no-one wants to have to watch us making out - and Im not providing that kind of entertainment without getting paid for it anyway ;-) !

0 ( +1 / -1 )

As long as it is not sloppy kissing and hands under garments, all is ok with me.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Nicky, I like your post again.

Here's my take on it. I am unwilling to sacrifice so much as inch of my identity to satisfy strangers around me who could care less if I'm there the next day or not. I will kiss my partner any place, any time. Why? Cause you never know. You never know when 3/11 will happen. T.I.J. My GF might get stabbed in the back walking down the street but a woman that nobody would kiss. You have to live each day as if it were your last.

Someone once said I was still living in the 70s in a car discussion. Okay maybe she's right. I still make out in the car. Red light, foot on the brake, it's time to kiss. Honk, if the light turns green.

Of course, our car affords us some privacy. We don't start French kissing on the train. That's respectful enough. However if she's getting off the train at a different stop, she's getting a kiss. Life is not promised to you. Deal with it.

As far as I know, you only live once. My debt to society ends once I clock out.

I've been described as hyper-sensitive (They just have to label you something, don't they?) however I feel if a woman can't hold my hand in public then she isn't very proud to be with me. Some J-girls are happy to get down with you behind closed doors but won't risk being seen together in broad daylight. My opinion is this, only the sucker believes "It's Japanese culture". That's called "slumming" and she's looking down on you. I don't do "My Pet Gaikokujin"

The new generation walks hand in hand down the street. Christmas Eve will be filled with dates and romance. J-women don't want to feel neglected.

Nicky, for me reciprocity is a MUST. If I go out and cut my hair, wash my car, hit the ATM, plus make reservations for din din in Ginza she had better hold my hand and stick to me like just won an Olympic Gold medal (Better bite me too). Break out the Victoria's Secret catalog as well. If your GF can't make you feel special and vice versa, you need to split. Being affectionate is a big part of that.

I'm not interested in contract marriages. You friend seems happy to just CO-exist. That wouldn't cut the mustard with me. To each his own of course. I read somewhere that being physically close and of course intimacy can reduce the chances of cancer in both men and women. It would suck to get cancer cause you were too frigid.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

It depends on each person/couple/family. Nothing is so black and white to be correct for each person.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

Having grown up in a household devoid of displays of affection, not much makes me sadder than a day where I can't hug or kiss my wife and sons. And of course when they suddenly hug me or give me a kiss, even the worse day is made a lot lot better.

5 ( +5 / -0 )

Depends on how the culture, and even the couple, define "healthy". Personally I think it is very important because I feel physical intimacy is critical to a strong relationship. But much of Asia, which has almost 1/2 the word's population does not feel that way. Nor does the Muslim faith. So, there is no "right" answer.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

In private, affection is very important to me. I need it to survive. Just a little bit makes the whole day better.

I think that affection is shown in different ways for all people, but being affectionate with the people important to you is important, no matter how you express it. ^^

In public, I think hugs, kisses, and even the hands-in-back-pockets are cute. Making out or groping, not so much so. But if that's the only place someone can get it, I'm not going to deny them (^.~)

1 ( +2 / -1 )

Personally, I think there is no difference between kissing your honey in public to kissing your kids in public. If you are afraid to show your emotions then your emotions must not be true. As for anyone that dislikes public displays of effection, DON'T WATCH! Voyeurism is a crime!

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Deep kissing is actually healthy for a relationship as it triggers a bonding type of hormonal reaction. But save it for home please. Holding hands and arms around wastes are nice to see.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

extreme to the max important!! hell ya

oh god, but please no deep kissing or any type of deep affection in public! all that mushy stuff is gross! do that in private PLEASE! holding hands is ok in public ^^

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

@ Disillusioned

lol couples just start kissing out of nowhere, it's like someone moons you in the face. then your like oh god lol my eyes burn! >< obviously i look away but like come on! @__@ ruin my day

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

In my profession this overt display of affection is referred to as sensuous affection which is basically the communication of loving feelings through the physical senses of sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch rather than through the intellect. It may be used as a means to help meet your mate feel cherished or appreciated. However, sensuous affection is an important need in its own right. It is a gift of pleasure that helps your mate. Therefore it is a powerful glue that can bind two hearts together and can also be an effective lubricant that diffuses tension, stress and helps each partner to be patient with the small irritations that naturally occur when two different individuals are living together. Hence a married couple can strengthen and enliven their romance by sharing the pleasures of sensuous affection.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

How important to a healthy relationship are overt displays of affection such as hugging, kissing and holding hands?

It doesn't give me half the thrill of dancing cheek to cheek...

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Wow! This question makes my head spin! Public or private overt displays of affection? What sort of relationship?

I am just going to make the blanket answer that it depends on the people. For me, I need the physical affection, but it need not necessarily come from my wife. So its not directly necessary for a healthy relationship. Its necessary for my peace of mind, and without that, there are no healthy relationships.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

Overt display such as kissing is not good for children.

-1 ( +0 / -1 )

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