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How should schools deal with so-called "monster parents" who verbally abuse or complain about teachers for the way they treat their children?


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Set up a committee to discuss who should be on the committee.

Then have that committee discuss when they should meet and start discussions on what to do about kids and parents, but is would need to be a subcommittee for the kids because they are never at fault (little darlings) to determine how the schools are at fault for the way teachers are not trained to be baby sitters and are responsible for the actions of kids both on and off school grounds.

Or just ignore them.

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Okinawamike - GREAT ONE!

Parents are needed, but this relatively new phenomenon of stage parents moving towards school is ridiculous.

I really have no solution because with the continuing drop in the number of children schools are going to just suck air through their teeth and try to bear it. Nothing is going to be done. Schools are just going to see them as a normal part of school.

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Difficult one. A smack in the face is out of the question I guess, but it would be MY favorite solution to hand out.

Nothing can be done much about it other than being able to have a good defense in talking. Since none of the Japanese are strong enough to talk back this will be a growing phenomenon

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Easy solution.

The teachers, schools and PTA need to talk the same language and show a united front to those Monster-Parents and make it clear they are NOT welcome.

Imagine the damage those Monster-Parents to do their kids and what their ideas of right and wrong will be as adults.

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Stop labeling.

A "monster parent" might have a legitimate beef.

Some schools and teachers equate "respect" with carte blanche.

More communication and understanding between all parties is necessary.

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The same with slander and defamation of any other person. Why should teachers have to bear these attacks? Hopefully a precedent will be set in civil court.

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I think Okinawamike's solution is the most sensible one.

Monster-parents, for the most part, are just an extremely vocal minority. Many of them feed on confrontation and verbal abuse, so I'm not sure confronting them directly is necessarily the right solution, as it may only harden their belief that they are right and make them more vocal against the majority.

Ignore them and alienate them, and they will longer have a soapbox to complain from.

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I wrote this before on a similar subject.

Use technology and the fact that every school is wired and install webcams in all classrooms, that way the principal can monitor classes without anyone knowing and parents with a password could look in on things and by keeping a backup recording teacher can show parents how their children behave in class as well as protect themselves against any false accusations.

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Um, is it so difficult? Just ignore them!

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But the real question should be what should be done about "monster teachers" who verbally and sometimes physically abuse their students?

Believe it or not, it still happens.

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Seriously, every time a Japanese parent is a little pushy for their kid, they are labled a Monster parent. I worked with so many who couldn't stand talking to a strong willed person, especially if that person is in the right. Yes their are monster parents but their are also parents who go against the status quo which is a no-no. If you are a foreign parent then you know this first hand many times. you just don't know better because you are an outsider. If you are japanese, you are a monster parent. There are monster teachers and admins also.

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I think one of the main problems here is that the parents often dont deal directly with the parent if they have a problem. They sneak around and deride the teacher on websites (2 channel for instance) and try rally other parents against the teacher. This is defamation of character and should be dealt with seriously. It cant be ignored. How can you perform your job if people are conspiring against you? At least these are the kind of things I have heard about. (some are first hand).

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I manage a private school and sometimes have to deal with Japanese parents that think that, just because they are paying for a private education, they can come in a ask for the royal treatment or that unleash their own frustrations on the school and teachers.

I actually refused re-admission to a parent that sent daily emails to the school complaining about everything from the color of the curtains in our reception to specific lesson contents. She sometimes sent 3 emails a day...crazy! I told her she was a nuisance and that we were to busy to deal with her daily complaints. The teachers and administration backed me up 100%. I know teachers and administrators in public schools don't have this luxury, but, as institutions supported by tax payers, the principal should stand firm and tell monster parents to stop the harassment. Education is a privilege.

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Has anyone actually experienced a "monster parent" first hand? Or are we again handed talking points that create a dialog for change? Can anyone offer up some actual cases where teachers have been abused etc? End game here - take away the rights of parents and hand them to the state. We've seen it all before. Concentrating on issues like this. Economic success = dumbing down of nation. Goes hand in hand. And to really dumb them kids down they need them pesky parents to shut up! It'll be done - because thats the agenda.

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Just visit any PTA meeting and you will find the "Monster-Parents".

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@Zenny11 Been going to them for over 15 years now. Maybe I'm going to the wrong ones. What generally are the complaints?

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Teachers and schools need to lighten up on the militaristic style of class conduct! I was horrified when I saw my son's kindergarden class being MADE to march in military fashion, with sharp turns included, and some kids being shouted at if they didn't keep in step or turn 'correctly'! That was 5 years ago - and one teacher tried to get in my face when I pulled my son out from the 'ranks'. That was the wrong move on his part (the teacher) - you don't shout and try to tell a 105kg Irishman what he can and can't do with his own flesh and blood! He backed off when I shouted louder than him to the point where the whole school ground went pretty quiet!

Teachers need to realise that they are that - teachers. Nothing more, nothing less. They do NOT have the right to scream abuse at kids for not understanding. Nor should they just be allowed to dictate a topic to kids without giving the kids room to actually THINK!

Parents do have the right to get involved when they think their kids are being picked on or vindicated by a teacher, without reason. But also, parents should allow the school to do what they do best, educate. Yeah yeah, I know, my post sounds like double standards, but it's a never ending circle. I guess times they are a changing, even if that change could be better handled.

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Youdontknow is 100% right! I can't say it better so I'll leave it at that - read his comment!

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@NuckinFutz - yeah but no but. What isn't getting addressed here is what actually the parents have issue with. Ignore a problem and it'll get bigger. Certain ,parties believe it or not, actually would prefer that the problem did get bigger (And I believe it will) so that there is no choice but to resolve it by ["insert loss of freedom of choice"]. See: Hegelian dialectic. Rulers have been using it for years.

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Beat their kids until they shut up.

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I have seen "monster parents" and had to deal with them, I have also seen and dealt with "monster teachers"

Real monster parents are the ones who's child is more often than not the trouble maker in school and they refuse to acknowledge it they will complain and in many cases call the teacher at home, on their cellphone late night on weekends and at all hours "demanding" special treatment or the removal of a disciplinary note, I have seen many times where the child was the bully but the parents refused to believe everyone and demanded that the victims of their bully child apologies for "lying" despite several witnesses including teachers other students and parents not directly involved.

"Monster teacher" are luckily getting rarer they are the old guy who still believes that all Japanese are the same and that have never worked in the real world they tend to talk to parents like they are children and treat any child that is not "Japanese" enough in their eyes mixed race, foreigner or just not conform to their view of Japanese, and especially if their parents are part of a group that they view as un-Japanese ( Christian, Muslim, anti Flag and Kimigayo).

So after having worked in many schools here and having raised ( Still raising) 2 children on mu own in the Japanese system and having had problems on both side of this issue my only solution and my conclusion is to have webcams and recordings of all classes and all meeting with parents, video evidence does not lie.

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@limboinjapan Thank you for you for clarifying what a 'monster parent' does/is. I have never been one for labels though, and would much prefer to handle specific issues/problems rather than throwing any complaining parents in one big basket. Calling teachers out of office hours is out of line, I would say. So we address that issue first.

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Both the "monster teacher" and the "monster parent" exist. Both are the adult forms of bullying that the children use as the basis for their own interactions. The reason why schools seem reluctant to address student-to-student bullying is because they first would need to address the adult-to-adult and adult-to-student bullying on the school grounds.

With the low cost of web cams these days, it is relatively cheap to outfit a room with video coverage. Then it becomes relatively easy to show a disbelieving parent just how mis-behaved their "angel" really is.

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Fadamor is right. The knife cuts both ways. I know (and have managed) teachers that took out their frustrations on their students and nuisance parents who just made everybody's job so difficult, all within a school system and culture that suppresses individuality.

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Honestly, I don't give a damn about Japanese parenting or child education. Day in day out, it's the same old story. And all I got is to tolerate those spoilt brats shouting, crying and behaving selfishly in the public places....

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Encourage parents to have more kids. The more kids they have, the less "over-protective" they become. I've heard that many "monster parents" are actually well-educated upper class types who often have only one kid. In reality it's quite impossible for a school to encourage parents to have sex more often, so I would suggest implementing a no-nonsense policy. As someone posted earlier, don't accept or kick out such parents' kids from the school.

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Having dealt with monster parents, my suggesting would be to allow schools to get students out of classes and out of schools. It IS the parent of the bad kid that are monster parents. If you could get the kid out of the class for their behaviour, teachers would actually be able to do something about the problem. I know of parents who have allowed their kids to stay home from school (and called the school to complain about the teacher) when the teacher told the student that they were behind in their homework and needed it to be done before they could write a test.

I also know of parents who have argued that their kids have a "right" to use their mobile in school - even though the rules are clear about it not being okay.

I know very few "monster" teachers. I certainly don't agree with a lot of the policies and whatnot in Japan when it comes to education but Japanese parents have very few issues with it all because they went through the same system.

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Monster (sokaya) parents disturbing Japanese harmony. Haha..

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As someone stated earlier, some "monster parents" are middle to upper class and well educated, from an academic point of view, but they are not necessarily the parents of "monster students." Many of these students are bright and consientious and wish that their parents would stop embarassing them in front of the school and other students. In many cases it is due to this "higher education" that they, the parents, feel they have the right to talk down to the teacher(s). Communication between the parents and the school is key.


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" Monster Parents " sometimes good sometimes bad-Sometimes the Education System needs a reboot - And the ONLY way it can be changed if the parents get involved.

Lazy Shiftless Teachers - In anywork place you have lazy shiftless individuals. Its the same in the Education Field. Some teachers are really lazy,no new ideas and doesn't like change or input from another teachers new idea. These teachers are either to old or don't care. Only thing they care about is promotion, retirement or thinking about the next paycheck. They do thee minimal amount of work always getting by or " skating by " !!!!! maybe this lawsuit teacher is just plain lazy ??????

Monster Parents - who get in the way I've met countless parents with bad advice and constantly complaining about the schools I've worked. usually it's housewives with nothing to do. never been in the workforce for 5-6 years and joins the PTA sponsored Volunteer Program. Doing nothing but talking all day and gossiping about teachers and whatever. Some volunteers are great but some are lousy.I've met alot of EVIL IGNORANT HOUSEWIVES and alot of nice housewives. But the ignorant I remember the most. These weak mothers never disicpline their kid but always have a comment about us.

I`ve been to school, during breaks all the teachers go to the staff room. That's when kids turn into Tom & Jerry bashing time students bashing each other in the head or extreme wrestling,kicking, teasing, bullying,punching, play fighting & etc.

They need hall monitors, webcameras, and etc. At least 1 teacher watching and roving to each classroom. Voice recorders are not good because usually kids scream out loud you can't hear anything during a fight or whatever. If the teacher is being investigated bring in the bug or spy gear to record their voices only.

During class time children really do stupid things to each other, to the teacher or etc. Discipline is required recording the voice be misinterpreted. Using video and voice recording alone will be enough interview the child and the teacher to understand why the discipline was inacted in the first place. Kids always need discipline especially at schools.

I can't judge who is wrong who is right ? More details have to be tpresented to get the big picture out of this. But this story in Saitama Kumagaya has alot more to it.

To: Youdontknow - In Japan all students have to know how to stand in line and walk in a line. the reason why they train all the kids in EVERY single Kindergarten is because when they enter Elementary School they have to march and walk in a military fashion, when they get to unior High School they have to stand in line and walk in a military fashion, when they get to Senior High they have to stand in line and walk in a less military fashion, when they become young adults hopefully they will understand you have to make a line and wait in JR station, waiting for food,concerts, and etc. Japanese/ Asian culture has been doing this for years. Also-teenagers in japan are supposed to be recruited if 40,30 & 20 year old kids are exhausted(mass causalites) if they is a major war from N.Korea or China. That is why they are trained militarily because this country is an island and they need to defend it. Seriously !!!!! Moral to the story kids have to understand and take verbal directions from teachers.

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I think it is the principals job to handle these situations. When any parents comes to school they should have to talk to the principal before going any further. Parents should not have free access to teachers at anytime. If the principal says there is just cause to speak with the teacher about an issue then an appointment can be setup and parents, principal, and teacher can discuss their concerns. However you need a strong willed principal for this plan to work.

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PTA needs to understand that it is an advisory group, not a management group. The concept of insurance purchased by teachers for over zealous parents is absurd. Leadership from the principal must not be "that's the way we have always done it." Assign teachers to their own classrooms, get them out of the faculty room between classes, and find one minister of education at the highest level who is interested in bringing Japanese education to the 20th century, then it can move to the 21st century.

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ignore them

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PTA needs to understand that they are nothing more than a bunch of annoying housewives who really don't understand much about education and the way the world works. Some will never have worked a day in their lives. Most PTAs are headed by bullies who grasp at power in the group because they have none in their own lives. Enmass, these women are evil and can cause many problems for bad AND good teachers. EVERY teacher I have worked with hates the PTA and avoids as much as possible. I know I sure did.

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Monster Hunter with them.

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