You can shack up together, enjoy the togetherness, and at the first argument/difference in opinion/misunderstanding, storm out and go home to Mum/camp on a friend’s couch. End of relationship.
Once you’re married there are emotional/legal/social ties that encourage you both to take a deep breath, calm down and work on sorting out the kinks. I know of plenty relationships (chez cleo included) where couples have worked through the bad patches and come out that much stronger at the other end, and where if they hadn’t been married they would likely have split and gone their different ways.
Of course some differences are too great to work through, some people don’t take their wedding vows seriously, and divorce happens. But being in a relationship where both parties have vowed publicly to have each other’s back come what may, is a powerful thing. Just make sure you’re sure before you tie the knot.
In Japan quiet a lot, a shared family register, children registration, loans, social security, recognition of responsibility in case of a break up. You can be raising a child together as two unmarried partners, but at the moment things turn sour, you won't have any right on alimony etc. If your partner dies you will be also left stranded except if your partner drew up a will.
Its been a while for me (married for almost 20 years) but my main memory of being single was the constant and hazardous struggle to find someone I wanted to spend my life with because I didn't want to be lonely.
That sucked because I had a few misfires that didn't end well before I met the right person. Once I did, I never wanted to go back to that struggle.
That said, "having kids" was about a million times more life altering than "getting married" was.
So far, these are all poor "benefits", sorry. "Shared family registry", "loans", "social security"? lol. Okay. I don't want to be in any family registry, just like I don't want to be in grandpa's burial plot for all eternity, and I have loans and social security already. So...what else?
"Someone waiting for you at home" says a poster with the avatar of a dog...incidentally describing what sounds more like the behaviour of a dog! "Good meals every day"? Sounds like you need a maid, or a mother!
There are probably benefits related to children, I'll admit, but is breeding the only reason to get hitched? Does that "very basic love" feeling comes only through marriage, and not through any other arrangement? I...don't think so. These rather weak "benefits" are only making marriage sound worse, not better! And one in four of all married people in Japan (who end up ending it in divorce) seem to agree?
I'm not joking, amongst all of my many foreigner friends in Japan who got married to a Japanese person (be they male or female), most are divorced or living in an unhappy marriage. I just think the clash of cultures (way of thinking, mainly) is too big here for most couples to bridge. I have come to enjoy being single, and I hope to stay that way.
Marraige is mainly and only a contract. Unmarried couples usually trust each other explicitly. They do not need to put their signatures on a piece of paper. They are not bound by anything. Except their love for each other. And their trust in each other. They would be and, must be freer and happier than most married couples. The country's law should be adjusted to accomodate their freedom of life's choice equal to married couples.
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cleo
Marriage changes the mindset.
You can shack up together, enjoy the togetherness, and at the first argument/difference in opinion/misunderstanding, storm out and go home to Mum/camp on a friend’s couch. End of relationship.
Once you’re married there are emotional/legal/social ties that encourage you both to take a deep breath, calm down and work on sorting out the kinks. I know of plenty relationships (chez cleo included) where couples have worked through the bad patches and come out that much stronger at the other end, and where if they hadn’t been married they would likely have split and gone their different ways.
Of course some differences are too great to work through, some people don’t take their wedding vows seriously, and divorce happens. But being in a relationship where both parties have vowed publicly to have each other’s back come what may, is a powerful thing. Just make sure you’re sure before you tie the knot.
Little joey
In Japan quiet a lot, a shared family register, children registration, loans, social security, recognition of responsibility in case of a break up. You can be raising a child together as two unmarried partners, but at the moment things turn sour, you won't have any right on alimony etc. If your partner dies you will be also left stranded except if your partner drew up a will.
Peter Neil
Marriage provides a man the opportunity to find a woman he dislikes and buy her a house.
Toshihiro
Little joey summed it up quite well, I agree to what he said. For me and this will depend on the person you're with, it is emotional support.
rainyday
Its been a while for me (married for almost 20 years) but my main memory of being single was the constant and hazardous struggle to find someone I wanted to spend my life with because I didn't want to be lonely.
That sucked because I had a few misfires that didn't end well before I met the right person. Once I did, I never wanted to go back to that struggle.
That said, "having kids" was about a million times more life altering than "getting married" was.
The Original Wing
@cleo's answer was the best I've heard to this question, on this forum or elsewhere. Thanks, @cleo.
wallace
My son and his life partner have been together for 32 years without any marriage. Two beautiful children.
Speed
Good meals every day.
GuruMick
Clean underpants...
Hito Bito
So far, these are all poor "benefits", sorry. "Shared family registry", "loans", "social security"? lol. Okay. I don't want to be in any family registry, just like I don't want to be in grandpa's burial plot for all eternity, and I have loans and social security already. So...what else?
"Someone waiting for you at home" says a poster with the avatar of a dog...incidentally describing what sounds more like the behaviour of a dog! "Good meals every day"? Sounds like you need a maid, or a mother!
There are probably benefits related to children, I'll admit, but is breeding the only reason to get hitched? Does that "very basic love" feeling comes only through marriage, and not through any other arrangement? I...don't think so. These rather weak "benefits" are only making marriage sound worse, not better! And one in four of all married people in Japan (who end up ending it in divorce) seem to agree?
Aly Rustom
2 beautiful children that are the light of my life
Luddite
Companionship.
Garthgoyle
I know why you're asking this question.. And the answer is, don't do it!
Mocheake
For some, the advantage of getting a good chunk of change upon divorcing.
dan
Single life is much better .
inkochi
Association
Yrral
Speed,a man that can cook is doomed
John-San
Is this a trick question ? Family lifestyle, if you were a good Parents you will get share a larger Family lifestyle.
Mickelicious
Potentially, absolutely everything: the feeling of 1 + 1 = ♾
Unfortunately too often it's more like 1 + 1 =
David Brent
I'm not joking, amongst all of my many foreigner friends in Japan who got married to a Japanese person (be they male or female), most are divorced or living in an unhappy marriage. I just think the clash of cultures (way of thinking, mainly) is too big here for most couples to bridge. I have come to enjoy being single, and I hope to stay that way.
SDCA
someone waiting for you at home
Stephen Chin
Marraige is mainly and only a contract. Unmarried couples usually trust each other explicitly. They do not need to put their signatures on a piece of paper. They are not bound by anything. Except their love for each other. And their trust in each other. They would be and, must be freer and happier than most married couples. The country's law should be adjusted to accomodate their freedom of life's choice equal to married couples.