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What are some things that you recall hearing or seeing men say or do to women decades ago, which would be considered sexual harassment today, but which were not then (or at least no one spoke up about it then)?

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I’ve heard plenty but repeating them would be against terms and conditions.

8 ( +8 / -0 )

Holding doors open, saying "Good Morning", offering to help with heavy packages, and basically anything a man would say or do.

5 ( +16 / -11 )

Observing a colleague tell another to shut up, on a night out. He accused her of not knowing anything on the topic of discussion (she did) and he also had an unpleasant habit of talking over women or rolling his eyes when they were holding converation.

There's far worse but that's not for here.

I'd be very interested in what women posters have to say. More interested than hearing from the usual male suspects, in fact.

0 ( +7 / -7 )

No way, even that long list and descriptions would already count offending nowadays...rofl

-7 ( +0 / -7 )

I'd be very interested in what men posters have to say. More interested than hearing from the usual female suspects, in fact. Most men are complete gentlemen.

-2 ( +9 / -11 )

Just complementing them on their clothes and saying that it brings out their "beauty." I still unfortunately hear a lot of outright sekuhara side comments (kinda the same lines that you'd hear from adam sadler and jim carey movies from the 2000's) from guys towards girls at my workplace, to which our human resources aren't really doing much and reporting the issue outside the department would land you in trouble with the department chief.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

"You like nice today".

-2 ( +4 / -6 )

Holding doors open?

-1 ( +4 / -5 )

Telling a woman how nice she looks used to be common, especially when going out on a date. I used to say it all the time to my dates in the 1980s and they seemed to appreciate it. Now, a guy could probably get into trouble by saying it. How about girls being kissed under the mistletoe at Christmas parties? I remember seeing that in old TV shows and movies.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Whether from 10+ years ago or yesterday, there is always braggadocios talk of wannabe foreigner ladies "men" here in Japan talking about "look at her ____", "I'd bang her", and other such nonsense. Probably 50% of the people posting on here say or do the exact same garbage.

-2 ( +3 / -5 )

Whistling after teenage girls, slapping them on the butt for wearing shorts, saying stuff like "You look empty, want me to fill you up?" and such.

That crap was tolerated in the 70s.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

@Ronrii - that sounds like nearly every song that Rod Steward and other glam rock bands made back in the day! lol. You'll hardly hear anything NSFW in new songs made in the recent years nowadays, which is nice.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

What are some things that you recall hearing or seeing men say or do to women decades ago, which would be considered sexual harassment today, but which were not then (or at least no one spoke up about it then)?

Was "sexual harassment" even a term then? What male behaviors are disparaged today? That is what was done as 'normal' for males in the 1970's. Females weren't any happier with it then but had no voice to say so and plenty of 'commercial models' telling them that these things mean men 'like' you and you shouldn't be 'cold' or 'not fun' because nabbing a man and spitting out more Humans was your highest ambition. Men's highest ambition was promoted as 'seducing' as many women as possible to prove your 'worth' as a male. Both sexes were equally screwed, so to speak, because men were taught to be abusers and women were taught to be abused. The current social changes feel like coming out of a long dark tunnel into a time of new possibilities and new, much more talented players on the field. The untapped potential of Human female intellect, no longer filtered through, misunderstood, or falsely attributed to their male dominators, is all that is left of any hope for Human long term (next 100 years) survival. Male dominance is clearly destroying us.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

More interested than hearing from the usual female suspects, in fact. Most men are complete gentlemen.

My comment went right over your head, I see.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Probably 50% of the people posting on here say or do the exact same garbage.

Yeah, it's weird. Not sure what it is about Japan (or the English language sites here, to be more specific) that attracts MCP foreigners from the 1970s.

That'd be worthy of an article in itself.

-1 ( +2 / -3 )

Ah the good old days.

-2 ( +1 / -3 )

Two I can think of. I remember going on a first date date with a girl in high school - we were both 16 at the time. We had flirted at school and went to see the Olympic figure skaters on tour at the old Omni in Atlanta. During the show I looked over to her and spontaneously gave her a kiss on the cheek. She looked at me wide-eyed for about a second and then smiled. A few seconds after that we were holding hands. I'm afraid that if my son did that now, it would at best be seen as aggressive and at worst non-consensual assault.

The second was at a part-time job. I was in the office counting the till of one of the cashiers. We had worked together for a while and had a very good rapport. I dropped something on the floor and went to pick it up. She crossed her legs and turned sideways.

Me: You don't have to do that. I've seen one before.

Her: You haven't seen mine.

Me: What are we going to do about that?

Her: Ask my husband and see what he says. (He husband was an army sergeant at Ft. Gillem).

Both of us: Ha-ha-ha.

Back then, harmless banter. Nowadays, I'm an aggressive creep? Sexual harassment?

Not that a lot of people don't cross the line, they do. It just seems we have gone too far into hyper-correction.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

What are some things that you recall hearing or seeing men say or do to women decades ago, which would be considered sexual harassment today, but which were not then (or at least no one spoke up about it then)?

Yes.

-3 ( +0 / -3 )

I feel sorry for those who can get their thrills from holding the doors open anymore.

-1 ( +1 / -2 )

Hello.

Did you cut your hair.

Nice jacket.

Is that a new coat?

Pretty much any comment regarding hair, shoes, clothing, etc..

I have seen guys ask male co-workers if they were wearing a new suit without any problems but say the same thing to a female co-worker and you risk some serious problems.

My wife's office has a joke called tag team meetings.

The CEO will not have a meeting with any female employee without at least one other female present, so whenever she as his PA has to have a meeting she needs to tag another female to drop what they are doing to chaperone the meeting.

Prior to covid, if going to clients by taxi the women have to take separate cabs not mixed cab rides.

My brother's office has a break room, you will never find any men in it if even one female is there if a female comes in and sits down all the men will leave, no one wants to take any chances.

Welcome to the new world.

I expect the next complaint will be that the men ignore the women and don't include them and have a boy's club only office interaction.

2 ( +4 / -2 )

I used to offer pretty young ladies a choice of baked confectioneries, cherry bakewells, bramley apple pies, almond slices and French fancies. I'd then ask if they'd like a dollop of cream on top. "Don't worry about the calories" I would say... "I like a girl with a bit of meat on her bones."

I think today that would be considered exceeding bad form.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

I used to offer pretty young ladies a choice of baked confectioneries, cherry bakewells, bramley apple pies, almond slices and French fancies.

I bet that they were exceedingly good cakes, however, so the ladies would have been pleased despite your language.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

Holding doors open, saying "Good Morning", offering to help with heavy packages, and basically anything a man would say or do.

Not hard to work out who the men are in these comments.

The reality is that the things you list are still done out of politeness by both sexes. The idea that men can't do this is a fantasy or the reactionary right and helps brush under three carpet actual behaviours that are no longer acceptable.

2 ( +2 / -0 )

Whistling after teenage girls, slapping them on the butt for wearing shorts, saying stuff like "You look empty, want me to fill you up?" and such.

That crap was tolerated in the 70s.

It wasn't, unless you grew up in the Congo maybe.

If u had pulled that crap anywhere in North America and Im willing to wager Europe, you'd be walking home trying not to swallow your teeth.

No need to conjure up non-existent attitudes from 40 years ago to show how woke u are.

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Not hard to work out who the men are in these comments.

Its not hard to figure out who recently graduated from a grievance study program, either.

-6 ( +0 / -6 )

The reality is that the things you list are still done out of politeness by both sexes. The idea that men can't do this is a fantasy or the reactionary right and helps brush under three carpet actual behaviours that are no longer acceptable.

Actually I have been yelled at for just being polite and holding the door open for women and on more than one occasion.

Not on Japan but I'm North America.

Being told stuff alone this line: " I am not some feeble little woman I can open the door myself." And a few others similar to this.

The most frustrating thing was I usually had actually opened the door for either my children or wife and was just being polite letting those close behind female or male go first rather than cut them off and let the door slam on them.

I actually attended a course in one company given by a woman specialising in the subject and guess what was on the list of not acceptable. Holding doors open for female staff. As the teacher put it "it is demeaning and treating the women as being to fragile to do it themselves" we were also told complimenting staff of the opposite gender on looks even if it was just a new coat or jacket was not acceptable.

If anyone wants to really know how things are. I suggest taking one of these courses the list of "inappropriate" is about 10 times longer if not more than the acceptable list.

I know male friends and relatives in North America that will not even get in an elevator if a female co-worker is the only other person in it and this is recommended company policy.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

Ok, woke culture is destroying many countries with its appalling pathetic doctrine...here are some I think these losers would consider harassment

Offering to help a woman struggling with a baby buggy down stairs

Offering to help a female motorist who has broken down on a dark road

Telling a woman your hair looks good ( and I would say the same thing to a male colleague if he had just got his hair cut and it looked good ).

Thankfully, living in Japan, these simple courtesies are still seen as good manners and nothing more. Japanese women are still women, the female homo sapiens in the us, the uk, australia etc stopped being women when they started resembling beached whales.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

kyushuubill: "Holding doors open, saying "Good Morning", offering to help with heavy packages, and basically anything a man would say or do."

I'll never stop doing any of these things. But then again, while I remember being told as a very young boy to do it for women as a gentlemen, I do it for anyone, regardless of gender or age.

Gotta agree with the complimenting someone on their looks, too. Again, I'll do that for anyone, many or women -- say a haircut looks good, or they are rocking that outfit -- but I think it's a shame that, given I would say it to anyone, I will no less likely say it to women because it might offend them. The idea that "women need/should/are more receptive to be complimented on their looks" is wrong, but I also think it is wrong (or a shame, at least) that you shouldn't compliment a woman as you would anyone else simply because you are a man. I don't compliment them BECAUSE they are women, after all.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

Can I buy you a coffee?

What's your phone number?

Dinner is on me.

Nope, can't say any of these things anymore.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

"Hi there"

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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