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What are some ways that living with a spouse are different from living with someone you’re going steady with?

16 Comments

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16 Comments
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Not married yet but I can imagine that living with someone you're married to would have that notion of spending the latter half of your life with through hell and high water, good times and bad times. While marriage is just a legally and religiously binding event that recognizes the union of two people, I believe it makes their bonds stronger with that notion. It's similar to eating birthday cake after the candles have been blown and songs have been sung, it's the ritual that makes the cake special. I don't want to discredit those that have lived happily ever after without marriage though, it's all about learning to endure, forgive and remaining compassionate

3 ( +3 / -0 )

No need for a divorce when things go south.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

Obligation to have intercourse versus wanting to have intercourse

0 ( +5 / -5 )

I can't see any difference, to be honest. It's nice to have the whole married vibe but it's not essential.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

No sex in marriage. Being totally taken for granted due to legal structure that enslaves men and their salaries.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

I've never done it to my wife, but I would imagine that no Japanese man cohabiting with his girlfriend hands over his salary to her and gets 20,000 yen back for the month. Plenty of men do that to their wives.

4 ( +6 / -2 )

Day-to-day life with the wife didn't change much after we got married. Just had to find a place to put the wedding ring at night so I didn't lose it.

2 ( +3 / -1 )

Well you definitely better shut down any extra- curricular activities.But I don't feel it's so different until you have a child or two.If married and childless,you're a glorified boyfriend/girlfriend couple that got married.I was that for 12 years till we decided to have a child.After having,it's so different.

4 ( +4 / -0 )

Agreed. I don't think there is a big difference until the kids come along. Then it's a sign of commitment and provides an extra layer of security for the kids. Kids grow up in a better environment when they don't have to worry about one of the parents suddenly deciding to bail out.

3 ( +4 / -1 )

going steady with?

One huge difference is the age. I don't know any adults that go steady with someone. Furthermore, the generation. People are not kids in the 1950's.

-2 ( +0 / -2 )

Nothing really, without kids. But kids change everything about your life so it's not surprising.

3 ( +3 / -0 )

A childless marriage is more of a challenge! Its easier to bail when things aren't all hunky Dory! Japanese women tend to live out their fantasies through their children, don't believe me ride the the train to Disney in Tokyo, the mothers are dressed to the T in Disney apparel more so than the kids. The Fathers are just along for the ride hoping to "accidentally" run into some possible JK hookup for a later time, because the wives are too busy playing and living as Adolescent adults, and have no time for sex!

However then you have the salary man who has to drink all night and leaves his wife unattended and when he gets home passes out. She wanted sex and you didn't provide, so anyone paying attention to her can crawl right in and play.

If you marry someone its a promise, if your just checking the box for societies sake then its bound to have problems more sooner than later. Peer pressure is a bitch in japan.

0 ( +3 / -3 )

Every relationship is different.

Assuming no kids. Marriage has a legal commitment which could cost 50% of everything if you leave and being forced to deal with the other person the rest of your life, especially at family gatherings and holiday times.

With a girlfriend, move out, change your phone and blocking hers is pretty much it.

1 ( +2 / -1 )

A childless marriage is more of a challenge!

Could only be said by someone without kids.My first 12 years were a breeze.Late nights,almost every night.Slap and tickle galore and not a child to have to wake up to in the morn.Next month is 12 years on with a child! Try it and see the difference.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Lived for about one year with my wife before getting married, then one more year as a married couple until we had our first child. The marriage didn't change anything, we both worked late, go out drinking, then go to our hobbies in weekends, most of them together. After the kids came, everything basically revolves around them, and we struggle to balance work with child rearing, no time left for us

1 ( +1 / -0 )

@theFu: With a girlfriend, move out, change your phone and blocking hers is pretty much it.

Love it! I guess you have blocked plenty of phones in Japan. My bachelor buddy has the Julio Iglesias song "To all the girls I've loved before" playing non-stop 24/7 at his bachelor pad with the double king size orgy waterbed.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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