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What are your views on parents hitting their young children as a means of punishing or disciplining them?

21 Comments

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21 Comments
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as someone who grew in a traditional Asian family and community where corporal punishment was enforced both at home and in school, I think it helped us to grow mentally stronger, but more tolerant towards physical violence. Looking back at it now, I think using punishment to discipline someone is a hit or miss. Similar to what Niccolo Machiavelli said in the Prince, a king is either feared or admired, and I think the fear of getting punished invokes fear rather than admiration. Just another side note though, the sailors that I used to worked with during my time in the navy told me that they'd rather get physically punished rather than to have any derogatory reports placed on their file, and I agree with that. I am against punishment as a form of disciplinary action across all walks of life, but we need an alternate form of corrective discipline that is constructive.

6 ( +10 / -4 )

I am firmly against agressiveness when raising a child so is my Japanese wife. We have two daughters we have never hit our children nor used any agressive tactis of disipline. We have always respected there opinions and beliefs, as well as teach them to question things. We teach them theres not only one way of doing things in life and different ways of thinking. And there Japanese teachers really enjoy this.

5 ( +9 / -4 )

Don't make kids if you don't know how to discipline them.

-3 ( +5 / -8 )

Physical pain as punishment; violent disposition as power display.

Hypothetically just one more mode in a repertoire, if the most lacking in reason.

Point is loss of rational and emotive control by instigator. Then some empty justification rooted in past practice and tradition.

Bottom line is it didn’t work so well then, and is likely not to now.

-1 ( +3 / -4 )

I don’t like it and don’t recommend it, but I would admit that it can have some positive effects if it’s not already excluded beforehand and only very seldom done at a very low physically hurting level. There just undoubtedly are some cases and situations or a few very resistive kids, who you only can adequately treat in that way to make way for some progress or their behavior to change into a more bearable direction.

-2 ( +2 / -4 )

Sometimes its ok but must be tempered with wisdom and not anger.

0 ( +6 / -6 )

Grab beer and popcorn, this section is gonna be lit.

That outta the way. Spanking is one thing, closed fist hitting is abuse.

0 ( +5 / -5 )

When I first became a father, I asked a friend of mine whose kids were already grown if he had ever hit them. His response, "Only when they scared me." I mentally filed that away at the time, but over the years I've come to understand.

Hitting a child for spilling a drink or not wanting to wear a coat or being tired and grumpy...no, never. But, the time my daughter ran behind a car as it was backing in to a parking space? Yeah, I tore her little fanny up because it scared the life out of me as I watched it. My son earned one as well for trying to fill a balloon with gas from the stove.

Never out of anger or for "discipline," but out of fear. My parents were old school Southern country folk, but when I look back, the times I did get a spanking was when I did something dangerous to myself or others.

Addendum: my teenage son earned a pop when he thought it'd be cute to call his mother the "b" word. Same thing happened to me as well. The exception proves the rule, I guess.

0 ( +4 / -4 )

If your child endangers themselves or others, spank them. When they can understand language or reason use language or reason. Simple.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

If your child endangers themselves or others, spank them. When they can understand language or reason use language or reason. Simple.

I agree. I think a lot of kids these days need a bit of spanking because they are more disobdient and definitely more aggressive compared to when I was a kid.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

I grew up being physically disciplined along with being locked in my room with no supper as punishment; and looking back, personally, I think it's an ineffective form of discipline, especially given the fact that I was never told why my actions resulted in being belted, caned, smacked or deprived of a meal. Children are smarter than we give them credit for and they should be sat down to explain why their actions are wrong / inappropriate before given a constructive punishment like being grounded - no TV, no games, no going out etc - is better.

1 ( +3 / -2 )

I am not a parent so I have no idea.

I have spent quality time with my nieces and nephews and yes from time turn my house into a no what looks like a no go area

Of course I don't have to resorted the baseball bat.

Or glue them on mass to the naughty step.

Bribery, does the trick, offer a held back treat, give a little sniffle of there betrayal, wave the Burger King, Mos Burger menus.

Appear like you have suffered the worst disloyalty, hint that one must insist parents need to be informed.

Tears will flow, Burger King and Mos Burger are quid's in, forgiveness is at hand, your popularity restored.

0 ( +2 / -2 )

I don't think using physical power as the uses of them. Recently, the number of people relying on physical punishment to children have been decreasing as we see in our society in Japan. On the other hand, small number of people such as sports coaches use such punishment for discipline in a club activity, which is unbelievable to me.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

I use calm down moments, I let the tantrums play there course.

I let them know that though out the day they have been cool and helpful.

But what separates me from there parents is they will eventually be ferried home.

That is the difference between an Aunt and a Parent.

24/7 responsibility.

0 ( +1 / -1 )

If your child endangers themselves or others, spank them. When they can understand language or reason use language or reason. Simple.

Yeah, it's not like kids are easy to unteach something we ingrain upon them before they can speak. It's not like teaching kids that when they can't find the words to express themselves that violence is the solution is a bad thing, right?

-4 ( +1 / -5 )

Yeah, it's not like kids are easy to unteach something we ingrain upon them before they can speak. It's not like teaching kids that when they can't find the words to express themselves that violence is the solution is a bad thing, right?

What may work for one group of parents may not work for others. I didn't get spanked so much, my sister, on the other hand, a lot and it was always the last resort, but talking didn't work on her, it just didn't, once she got spanked, it was all good again, so I am not buying into the notion that you don't need a good spanking every now and then, for some that is not the answer and they can get kids to listen, some can't. I am not about to judge a parent on how they raise their kids. Their way may not be suitable for me, for others perhaps.

1 ( +4 / -3 )

For small kids a smack on the bottom for really bad behavior is fine.

For teenagers, they'd have to do something pretty damn serious to get a slap in the face, but otherwise no.

I've yet to have had to hit my kids. Glad about that.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

Pa never hit us. When he stared at us in anger, his eyes were enough to frighten the bejesus out of us.

1 ( +1 / -0 )

My father used to beat me with a fishing rod. Either that or a leather belt. He was an abusive drunk. I can never recall the reasons why I received a beating, it just used to happen. If my wife asks me to remove a moth from the house, I'll catch it in tissue paper and release it outside. I've never harboured any violent tendencies, I guess that was beaten out of me at a young age. I don't have any answers. Just wish it never happened.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

My son is 12 and we have never hit him. He has been raised to be kind and empathetic and we chose to move him to a school where whites(he's half Japanese, but looks 100% white) are less than 20%, so he can learn in a great school, but also experience being a distinct minority.

0 ( +0 / -0 )

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